Franklin, My Dear, I Don't Give a Damn

At first blush it would appear that the UNIVAC computer software program that auto-generates the content for the McHenryCountyBlog may be stuck in an infinite loop. Or maybe the blog was hacked by a Spambot. In reality, somebody maybe just wants somebody to run for State Rep, and in the worse way:

Clock Is Running on Finding GOP Opponent for Jack Franks

19 Days Until Jack Franks Gets a Third Free Ride from McHenry County Republicans

18 Days Until McHenry County Republicans Give Democrat "Chainsaw Jack" Franks Ability to Campaign Statewide with Impunity

Wouldn't You Think Tom Cross Would Want an Opponent for "Chainsaw Jack" Franks? 17 Days to Get One

16 Days for McHenry County Republicans to Put Someone on the Ballot against State Rep. "Chainsaw Jack" Franks

15 Days from "Chainsaw Jack" Franks' Big Celebration Because the McHenry County GOP Didn't Put Up an Opponent, Even though Tonya Franklin Volunteered

13 Days Until "Chainsaw Jack" Franks Can Schedule a First Week of November Vacation

12 Days Before McHenry County Republicans Help "Chainsaw Jack" Franks Build a Better Fiefdom

10 Days Before the McHenry County GOP Hands "Chainsaw Jack" Franks an Opponentless Election

8 Days Until GOP Cedes "Chainsaw Jack" Franks an Eighth Term

Two Days Until County GOP Can Take Major Step to Put Opponent on the Ballot against "Chainsaw Jack" Franks

These are a sample of the dozens of blog posts deploring the fact that Jack Franks, bête noire to the McHenryCountyBlog, will be unopposed in the November election.

Unopposed, but not for a lack of willing candidates. According to the Northwest Herald ...

Tonya Franklin of Woodstock wants to be appointed to run for the 63rd House District in which Franks, D-Marengo, has run unopposed in two of the previous three elections. County GOP leadership turned her down as a political neophyte without a solid grasp of the issues in Springfield
GOP hopeful fighting own party to run

Why is McHenry County GOP Chairman State Rep Mike Tryon bucking his rank & file to give a free pass to State Rep Franks? It may be because of who Franklin knows. The Northwest Herald observed that ...

election activist Sharon Meroni and county political blogger Cal Skinner -- are helping Franklin force the issue through a special Saturday meeting of the county GOP Central Committee to override leadership and get the party’s blessing.
GOP hopeful fighting own party to run

Your LakeCountyEye draws a blank upon seeing the name Cal Skinner; but readers of this blog should immediately recognize the name Sharon Meroni:

Unidentified Flying Objections

Challenge Challenged?

This is the same Sharon Meroni who has made a cottage industry out of filing election challenges against local candidates -- in particular those candidates who have not produced their birth certificates and proofs of citizenship. Haha it's left as an exercise to operatives to guess why Tonya Franklin can't get anyone who matters to return her calls.

As to the tireless taxfighters at the McHenryCountyBlog, here is a free webwidget countdown clock to embed in your website:

Countdown Clock

Monday June 4, 2012, 5:00 PM

Day of Appointment
or
Day of Disappointment?

Note to operatives who will be attending the special Saturday caucus. Don't forget to bring your birth certificates.

Q the Eye/05.29.12

Dear LakeCountyEye,

Anyone caught reading this blog might get the impression that politicians are a high-rolling crew of boodlers, grifters and other sundry fast-buck artists. But I've been working in politics since college and I'm still living in a room above my parent's garage. Where's mine?

Down & Out in Barrington Hills

Dear Politically Astute Destitute,

Just run for office. After you win, the lobbyists and the well-heeled and all the other special interests will be lined up to invite you to dinner or golf or a vacation cruise -- where you can evaluate the many different ways they can legally throw money at you.

Haha, j/k. Everyone knows you can run for office. And that you can even get elected. But, haha, who are you kidding, you'll never get elected. (Unless it's to some library board out in a semi-literate home schooling community.)

But take heart, even though you will never win an election, you don't need to. To get rich in politics, all you need to do is run for election. Just take the example of one successful career politician, US Senator Mark Kirk. According to the Chicago Tribune ...

Federal law allows a candidate to pay a spouse, relative or friend for campaign work. In fact, Kirk routinely discloses that he pays his mother a salary and said he paid his stepmother for an auto during the Senate campaign.
Kirk's ex-wife files FEC complaint questioning campaign payments

So, make like Senator Kirk. Set up a campaign committee and run for office -- the higher the better. (Your LakeCountyEye recommends US Senator or Lieutenant Governor.) Then when all those 5 and 6 digit campaign donations start rolling in, use the money to hire and pay generous salaries to your spouses, relatives and friends. Kirk was paying a salary to both his ex-wife and his girlfriend. At the same time! Arnold Schwarzenegger ain't got nothing on Illinois's junior Senator!

Do what the real "career" politicians do and run an incompetent crony-campaign, with a top-heavy staff of relatives and friends. And repeat the process every two years. The real losers are the candidates who win -- and then have to serve in office, during that off-year. All the while you'll be at dinner or playing golf or on a cruise, discussing your next campaign strategy.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ... LakeCountyEye@gMail.com

Capitol Stupes?

With school out in Lake County, it's that time when educators assign final grades. In this case, the non-profit watchdog group Sunlight Foundation has assigned some grades to members of Congress:

Congress now speaks at almost a full grade level lower than it did just seven years ago, with the most conservative members of Congress speaking on average at the lowest grade level, according to a new Sunlight Foundation analysis of the Congressional Record using Capitol Words.
Is Congress getting dumber, or just more plainspoken?

(Because of poorly understood provisions in the redistricting laws, Lake County now has four sitting Congressmen.) The grades, based on their public statements, stack up like this ...

• Joe Walsh
  8.907015863
  
  
• Robert Dold
  10.43953638
  
  
• Peter Roskam
  11.03473829
  
  
• Randy Hultgren
  11.4451789

Members And Grade Level

The numbers represent the spoken grade level of each Congressman.

Arriving in at a solid 11th grade level, Randy Hultgren is the brainiac of the group. Joe Walsh nearly achieves a 9th grade level. Lucky for Walsh these are not actual school transcript numbers; otherwise he would be in summer school. (Your LakeCountyEye is not sure why the numbers are accurate to the ninth decimal, but that must no doubt be significant of something or whatever.)

A few blog posts were submitted, and Capitol Words assigned your LakeCountyEye a healthy 20.46577636 -- which is roughly equivalent to a PhD or two Masters degrees. Operatives are challenged to test their own verbal competence, if they dare!

The takehome of all this, of course, is that your particular Lake County representative in Congress may not be the quickest invertebrate on the House floor. For those not sure, your LakeCountyEye has compiled 10 indications that your Congressman spent more time than most dodging the truant officer.

Ten Signs a Lake County Congressman is Not Very Bright

Cannot smile for the cameras and chew gum at the same time. Thinks tuition for the Electoral College has become much too expensive. Nickname given by the press corps: Lake Forest Gump Can't get any of the Congressional Records to play on his iTunes. Believes Roe Versus Wade is a decision Washington had to make before crossing the Delaware. Fascinated by shiny objects. Fond of saying that Socialism is a system of government where one man exploits another man. Whereas Free Market Capitalism is just the opposite. Almost as dumb as a McHenry County Congressman. Signed the Grover Norquist Pledge. He, or members of his staff, read the LakeCountyEye!

All You Gotta Do is Act Naturally

The Lake County liberal blogosphere will dispel any doubts that global warming is man-made. That's because it is seething over a News-Sun story about Congressman Robert Dold:

Dold keeping close eye on environment

Dold, whose family owns Rose Pest Solutions, is portrayed in glowing terms by the News-Sun as a pro-environment candidate. This is anathema to the crybaby left, which regards Dold as an exterminator by profession who makes a comfortable living waging chemical warfare against the environment. These same bug-hugging lefties regard the rebranding of the 10th District Congressman as a page cynically stolen from the Karl Rove playbook.

Your LakeCountyEye, to the contrary, traffics in facts, not innuendo.  In this particular case the facts are all contained in their training manual which can be downloaded from the Rose Pest Solutions website:

Rose Pest Solutions^SM Quality Pro Training

It is obvious that Congressman Dold has not stolen a page from the Karl Rove playbook. Dold is stealing pages out of his own company training manual!

For instance, according to the News-Sun, Dold ...

was in the area for a ground-breaking ceremony for a Macy's store at Gurnee Mills, and he said that he really loves these types of events where he gets outdoors.

While, according to the the Rose manual, it is important not to leave a bad impression:

Customer Relations Appropriate Behavior Two-thirds of customers who quit doing business with a company do so because of an attitude of indifference from a company employee. The employee "just doesn't seem to care"

The News-Sun also notes that ...

Dold is one of the few United States representatives who is not afraid to say that the political parties need to work together to make progress on the myriad of problems facing the country.

And that is exactly what the doctor Rose manual orders:

Keep your conversations with customers professional Do not complain about your work, your boss, or your personal life. Do not criticize other people (co-workers, competitors, politicians, etc.) Do not discuss politics, religion, sex, or other controversial subjects. Do not discuss the pest problems of other customer's.

Finally, the News-Sun reports that ...

Dold agreed. "It is absolutely critical that we protect our environment and conserve it for generations to come," he said.

And the Rose manual couldn't agree more:

Ground water can become contaminated with pesticides and decontamination of this water can be difficult or impossible. Contamination can occur when: Rain carries dissolved pesticide down through the soil (a process called leaching). Pesticide is back-siphoned from pesticide tanks. Termiticides enter wells during termite treatments Pesticides, particularly concentrates, are not disposed of properly.

Get the straight dope here from your LakeCountyEye and don't end up like those whiny liberals with minds all addled from drinking the well water Koolaid!

Q the Eye/05.22.12

Dear LakeCountyEye,

I've been tarred with a reputation for crushing the opposition like a bug. While I admit I know how to win, I fear my negatives may cost me the next election. What do I need to do to win in November?

The Great Successor

Dear Kim Jong-un,

Operatives are always advised that if their candidate has a problem, then hang a lantern on it. (Or a bug zapper as the case may be.)

You could do worse than one enterprising Lake County Congressman. The Congressman, who will go unnamed, owns, along with his family, Rose Pest Solutions. Being in the business of eliminating other people's undesirable organisms may not be the optimal way to endear oneself with the voters. And this Congressman's re-election team worries about losing what are known as the suburban ICK-squared voters -- as in ...

ICK, ICK, I'm not voting for an exterminator!

Their clever solution is to rebrand their pesticide candidate into an environmental candidate. The opening salvo may have been this unsigned News-Sun story ...

Dold keeping close eye on environment

The story is a cornucopia of feelgood lines like ...

Dold agreed. "It is absolutely critical that we protect our environment and conserve it for generations to come," he said.

And ...

It gives me good vibes to hear about all the Lake Michigan shoreline conservation work that is being done.

Variously described as an "unretouched virgin press release" and a "fat journalistic wetkiss", the story has Lake County's liberal blogosphere crying foul. But your LakeCountyEye knows better & recognizes the story for what it is: An example of what needs to be done when you need to change those low negatives into some high positives.

A tip of the LakeCountyEye green eyeshade goes out to some anonymous (and nodoubt low-paid) PR guy for one Lake County Congressman.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ... LakeCountyEye@gMail.com

Old Yeller

Dan Duffy, Lake County's inconsequential Senator in Springfield, has a new yellow jacket under bee in his bonnet. Recently seen on this blog driving through some red lights ...

Caught Red Handed

Duffy has spent a good part of his political career seeking to get his Bills -- those that would abolish Illinois's red light cameras -- out of committee. It seems that Duffy is now aiming his sights a bit lower, at the yellow light instead. According to the Daily Herald ...

A plan to extend yellow lights by one second at intersections with red-light cameras has been placed in political purgatory. The proposal, sponsored by state Sen. Dan Duffy, a Republican from Lake Barrington, and Rep. Ed Sullivan, a Republican from Mundelein, was approved by the Senate in March. But House Speaker Michael Madigan hasn't released it from the House's Rules Committee, so it won't be debated.
Duffy yellow light plan stalls

Your LakeCountyEye had a couple more Duffy jokes in the hopper, but frankly is dumbstruck by that Daily Herald headline ...

Duffy yellow light plan stalls

Is that the best the Daily Herald can do for a sitting State Senator? Are they outsourcing their headline writing chores to non-English-speaking minimum-wage contractors? In Wisconsin? Or something?

Erm, why not just let your LakeCountyEye donate these 10 crappy, but at least better, headlines into the Public Domain, no questions asked?

Ten Headlines to Use with a Story on Dan Duffy's Yellow Light Proposal

Duffy Yellow-Light Plan Gets the Red Light Duffy Yellow-Light Plan Gets the Green Light ... NOT! Duffy Yellow-Light Plan Gets the Lake County Roundabout It's Lights Out for the Duffy Yellow-Light Plan No Light at End of Tunnel for Duffy Yellow-Light Plan Duffy Yellow-Light Plan Sent Down the Route 53 Extension Illinois House Blackballs Duffy Yellow-Light Plan There's Nothing in the Middle of the Road but Yellow Stripes and Duffy's Dead Yellow-Light Plan If the Duffy Yellow-Light Plan was One of the Avengers it would be Yellow-Light-Plan-Man Duffy Yellow-Light Plan T-Boned at the Intersection of Screw You and The Horse You Rode In On

Look for your LakeCountyEye on a horse at a roundabout near you.

Head Count

In political circles it is well known that there are three kinds of vote counters. Those who can add 2 + 2 without a calculator and those who cannot. Lake County Clerk Willard Helander apparently belongs with that third group.

Haha, it turns out that the Lake County Clerk's office tabulated the wrong precincts for the North Shore Sanitary District 2012 Primary election. According to the News-Sun, the NSSD Ward 1 ...

primary result included ineligible votes from five Waukegan precincts — 344, 345, 347, 350 and 355. Those precincts were removed, through redistricting, from newly-drawn Ward 1 and added to Ward 2. In addition, ineligible voters also cast ballots in four split-precincts in Waukegan — 343, 346, 348 and 349.
Old map causes 'error' in NSSD vote totals

(Perhaps not coincidentally 344, 345, 347, 350, 355, 343, 346, 348 & 349 are this week's winning Mega Millions^® numbers!)

While Helander readily admits the booboo, one candidate was not amused. Clyde McLemore, who lost in NSSD Ward 1 by only 82 votes told the News-Sun ...

"They can call it a mistake," McLemore said. "I call it fraud."
Old map causes 'error' in NSSD vote totals

For the record, this was not an instance of fraud -- voter fraud occurs when someone casts a ballot under false pretenses. Now if a pattern of negligence were established, this, legally speaking, could be defined as official malfeasance.

Unlike the Democrats, there was no more than one Republican candidate for any NSSD Ward. So no Republican candidate was harmed in the botched vote count. The question of whether or not Helander is to be reprimanded, is left to operatives as an exercise. You do the math.

Deconstructing the Rehabilitation Video

Mark Kirk, Illinois Senator from Lake County, had a stoke in January. His staff, this week, produced and distributed to the local & national MSM a video of his rehabilitation:

Senator Mark Kirk on his rehabilitation "walking program"

The video is mostly shots of the state-of-art rehabilitation technology at the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago, where Kirk is being treated. The News-Sun observed the video ...

shows him walking determinedly, if not easily, with a walker and on a treadmill with the help of a harness and a physical therapist. Some shots show him using parallel bars to support himself with his right hand. Kirk says he hopes "to climb the 45 steps that my staff counted from the parking lot to the Senate front door to fight for the people of Illinois." Though doctors warned Kirk may suffer permanent facial paralysis, his facial expressions appeared little changed from before he suffered the stroke. "I'm currently enrolled in a walking study for stroke patients," he says in the video. "It's described as an intensive program. One of the more interesting set-ups they had was a set of wraps around my legs with silver balls to be all recorded so a stick figure could be generated on the computer."
In video, Sen. Mark Kirk says he's anxious to get back to work

The video focuses exclusively on the rehabilitation of Kirk's motor functions. Conspicuously absent is mention of any cognitive rehabilitation efforts. Your LakeCountyEye assumes the omission indicates that Kirk's regimen did not require cognitive rehabilitation, and he is soon to resume his duties representing Illinois in Washington DC.

The News-Sun reports ...

Reprising his campaign refrain, Kirk says, "I can't wait to go back to work to vote to tax less, borrow less, and spend less to fix our economy."
In video, Sen. Mark Kirk says he’s anxious to get back to work

The Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago is funded in part by:

• National Institute on Disability and Rehabilitation Research
• National Institutes of Health
• National Science Foundation
• Centers for Disease Control & Prevention
• VA Office of Research & Development
  Research at RIC

These are all taxpayer-supported Federal agencies. Their generosity will enable Mark Kirk to return to the Senate and vote to tax less, borrow less, and spend less.

Cognitive ability is defined in part as the ability to reason with consistency. Your LakeCountyEye wishes the Senator a full and speedy recovery.

Q the Eye/05.06.12

Dear LakeCountyEye,

Why are there so many lawyers in Congress?

Clarence Darrow

Dear Clarence Darrow If That's Your Real Name,

The short answer is lawyers are experts in the law -- they know how to lawyer themselves out of a potentially embarrassing situation before it reaches the public eye.

Non-lawyers do not possess this valuable life-skill. For example, Lake County has one Congressman who is not a lawyer but instead is a self-proclaimed venture capitalist. All that VC money apparently has not kept this Congressman out of family court over the past two years.

This also explains why you don't see many business owners in Congress. What does every business owner have too many of -- other than creditors? Laid-off, fired, and/or disgruntled employees. These are the sort of low-paid employees who do not have many outlets for redressing their grievances, beyond posting a rant on YouTube.

One hapless Lake County Congressman who is not a lawyer -- but does own a business -- has become the target of a disgruntled employee:

Congressman Robert J. Dold 10th District Illinois

Excellent video, by the way. A tip of the LakeCountyEye green eyeshade goes out to some anonymous (and nodoubt low-paid) operative in the DCCC.

He's like the North Koreans don't vote for this guy you've been warned.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ... LakeCountyEye@gMail.com

Inside the Presidential Debates with Newton Minow

The Stevenson Center will host a program on Inside the Presidential Debates with Newton Minow:

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy

Inside the Presidential Debates with Newton Minow

Newton Minow was appointed by President John Kennedy as Chairman of the Federal Communications Commission in 1961. Minow famously dubbed television the "vast wasteland" and called for programming reforms to better serve the public interest. He is a former law partner of Adlai Stevenson II, chairman of PBS and co-chair of the presidential debates in 1976 and 1980. He is currently co-vice chair of the Commission on Presidential Debates, which has organized the debates for the last two decades. Minow's book, written with longtime collaborator Craig LaMay, Inside the Presidential Debates: Their Improbable Past and Promising Future, is a fascinating look into the origins of presidential debates with suggestions for their improvement today.

• Sunday
  May 13, 2012
  2 PM
• The Stevenson Center on Democracy
  25200 N St Mary's Rd
  Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
  847-816-7433
• $15
• Coffee and conversation following

Carried to an Extreme

A blogger, who will remain unnamed, (but who likes to blog about Lake County politics), walked into a bar last night. The blogger saw a friend there. And the friend said "is that a conceal-carry ... or are you just happy to see me?"

True story? Not a chance, bloggers don't have any friends. But more to the point, that couldn't happen here because Illinois is the last state in the union to prohibit the concealed carry of firearms.

This may all change if the gun manufacturers get their way. They now have the nation in mass hysterics over their 2nd Amendment right to walk into a bar with a hidden gun. The gun manufacturers have been so successful at pitching concealed-carry to the American public that your LakeCountyEye has learned the NRA is now test marketing a new slogan:

You can have my gun when you find out where it is concealed on my cold dead body!

And as readers of this blog are nervously aware, one local blogger was not immune to the histrionics ...

Magnum Obtuse

But when it comes to wacky ideas your LakeCountyEye immediately thinks of Lake County's Sheriff, Mark Curran. So it should come as no surprise that the Sheriff is drinking the conceal-carry koolaid. According to the News-Sun ...

Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran stood in front of a crowd of more than 30 conceal carry gun supporters on Monday to say one thing. He's certain Illinois will not be the only state prohibiting a concealed weapon law for long.
Group advocates for conceal carry law

Your LakeCountyEye can't help but wonder if there were any metal detectors at the meeting? Haha j/k.

But suppose conceal-carry becomes the law of the land and anyone encountered in Illinois is possibly armed. Wouldn't that make every 911 call or any routine traffic stop made by a Sheriff's deputy a possible deadly encounter? Haha j/k.

Poll Position

The results of the Lake County Mega Million^® ballot position drawing are in. As readers of this blog are randomly aware, being number one on a Lake County ballot virtually guarantees your candidate victory in November ...

Who's On First?

And to ensure themselves the top ballot position, both political parties had teams of hackers on hand to compromise the County Clerk's Diebold machines. Well one party may be advised in the future not to hire some abstinence-only Script Kiddies to do their skulduggery, because according to the Lake County Clerk, the Democrats ran the table:

The lottery held on Tuesday, May 1, 2012, determined that the Democratic party will appear first on the ballot for the November Election.
General Election Party Lottery

The irrefutable video evidence:

Lottery to determine party order for Nov. 2012 election

According to State of Illinois lottery rules, Democrats have 90 days to come forward and claim their elected positions.

Magnum Obtuse

Come to think of it now, your LakeCountyEye hasn't made any fun lately of the Tea-Party Republicans over at the TeamAmerica10th. Either. Hopefully this will make amends.

An actual unretouched screen cap from TeamAmerica10th:

Team America's 10th District Blog

Kudos to TeamAmerica10th for their perceptive choice of stand-your-ground firepower. According to the Gun Wiki, the .357 Magnum ...

is an excellent self-defense round; it still enjoys a reputation of being the gold standard of stopping power among handgun cartridges. Some of those who have used it have described a "struck by lightning" reaction in those hit with it. For big game, such as ungulates and bears (which have a sturdier build than humans), it is inferior to the .44 Magnum, .454 Casull, .41 Magnum and other bigger magnum rounds. Still, it is a fine small and medium game round and will kill deer very reliably at short range if the right loads (140 grain and heavier hollowpoint bullets) are carefully used by a qualified marksman.
.357 Magnum

When your LakeCountyEye is travelling abroad, to destinations like Sanford Florida, the .357 is the conceal-carry of choice.

At home, of course things are different.  Illinois, to the shame of the nation, is the last state without a conceal-carry law. Unless this unpardonable situation is remedied by the spineless legislators in Springfield, residents in the Illinois Tenth Congressional District, and other high crime regions, would be advised to stay shuttered in their homes, especially after dark. Until then, homeowners from the meanstreets of big cities like Mettawa and Lake Forest could do worse than follow TeamAmerica10th's lead: Protect your property and loved ones from behind the awesome stopping-power of a .357 Magnum!

Shekels & Ekl

Lake County wants a piece of the action. As readers of this blog are keenly aware ...

My Cousin Vinny

The death of two County jail inmates has spurred Sheriff Mark Curran to hire an independent investigator, Terry Ekl. This is the same Terry Ekl who defended McHenry County State's Attorney Louis Bianchi against charges of official misconduct. And Ekl realized a nice payday for his efforts. According to the tireless tax fighters at the McHenryCountyBlog ...

Without admitting liability, the McHenry County Board voted 18-3 to pay Terry Ekl and Ernest DiBenedetto $275,000 to settle claims of over $600,000 in legal fees and expenses to defend State's Attorney Lou Bianchi
County Compares Potential Costs to Benefits and Decides to Pay $275,000 to Bianchi's and Synek's Attorneys

Now, operatives naturally want to know where their slice of the independent investigator pie is. How difficult can it be to assemble a team, go to the County jail, ask some questions, take some photos, submit a report and nobody gets hurt? Nice work if you can get it!

Haha, there is more to being an independent investigator than having a bank that will cash a check for you. The besieged public official shopping around to hire an independent investigator is looking for someone who has the trust of a gullible skeptical public. When a good independent investigator says "move along, there is nothing to see", the public moves along.

This besieged public official looks for certain qualities in a good independent investigator, like competence, gravitas and most importantly independence. How is independence measured? Independence, fortunately, is a quantifiable quality and can be gauged by looking up an individual's Illinois campaign contributions. Here, for instance, are some Illinois campaign contributions made by Terry Ekl or his law firm:

Illinois State Board of Elections Contribution List


Terry Ekl : Individual Contributions

Your LakeCountyEye notes that many of Ekl's beneficiaries are wellknown independents like George Ryan, Bill Brady, Joe Birkett, the House Republican Campaign Committee. Overall, Ekl has been responsible for no less than some $50,000 in contributions to political campaigns in Illinois.

The takeaway couldn't be clearer. If you're an operative hoping to land a nice cushy job as an independent investigator, it certainly does not hurt to be independently wealthy!

My Cousin Vinny

Political Science is no different from Physics and Astronomy. Physics has Newton's three laws of motion. Astronomy has Kepler's three laws of planetary motion. And Political Science has your LakeCountyEye's three laws of political scandal:

1. Stonewall
2. Whitewash
3. Punt

For any scandal, the first reaction of an elected official is to stonewall. The irresistible force meets an immovable object. An elected official accused of a scandal will deny the allegations; be slow to provide evidence; sometimes evidence is withheld; possibly even covered up; etc.

If stonewalling fails and the public or press keeps asking embarrassing questions, the second reaction is to whitewash. An outsider will be brought in to investigate. The outsider needs enough independent authority to satisfy a skeptical public or press. But the outsider will not be without political connections, and these need to guarantee the results of the investigation in advance. Think less Archibald Cox and more My Cousin Vinny.

If the independent investigator fails to whitewash the scandal the only alternative left to the elected official is to punt. Punting can range from resigning in disgrace with a six-figure book deal to declaring martial law to anything in between.

Lake County's latest political scandal involves two recent inmate deaths at the County jail. Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran hired an independent authority to investigate. The Daily Herald reported that ...

Terry Ekl was hired to lead the investigation, according to a news release issued by the Lake County sheriff's office, which oversees jail operations. Ekl, a former assistant state's attorney in Cook County, recently defended former Rod Blagojevich Chief of Staff John Harris against bribery-related charges connected to the ex-governor's corruption case. Ekl also successfully defended McHenry County State's Attorney Louis Bianchi against misconduct charges last year. He now represents Bianchi in a federal civil rights lawsuit against the special prosecutors in that case.
Attorney hired to investigate Lake County jail after deaths

Your LakeCountyEye doesn't know much about Terry Ekl except what is written in the blogs. For instance the tireless tax fighters at the McHenryCountyBlog covered the Louis Bianchi misconduct trial. Ekl had this to say about prosecutor, Thomas McQueen ...

After McQueen's opening statement, Ekl said he felt "a little like my Cousin Vinnie. Most of what Mr. McQueen has told you is a fairy tale. There is no evidence to substantiate what Mr. McQueen charges (that Mr. Bianchi) misused his authority, his discretion. It won't even rise to the level of probably cause ... that Bianchi performed an act forbidden by law. There isn't going to be a scintillate of evidence that he should have recused himself." Ekl asserted that there was "a total absence of proof."
The Bianchi Show Trial

On a lighter note, it's time for this week's LakeCountyEye Pop Quiz:

At which stage is the growing scandal at the Lake County Sheriff's Office? Stonewall Whitewash Punt

Remember there are no right or wrong answers. But don't expect any surprises either.

Who's On First?

If they ever plan to throw a ticker tape parade in Lake County, your LakeCountyEye has plenty of ripped up Mega Millions^® tickets to donate. Luckily there is a new lottery scheduled next week.  According to an item in the TribLocal, posted by Lake County Clerk, Willard "Mitt" Helander ...

A public lottery to determine party order for the November 6th General Election will be held at 10:00 a.m. on Tuesday, May 1, in the lobby of the Lake County Courthouse and Administrative Complex, 18 North County Street, Waukegan, Illinois.
County Clerk Announces Lottery for November 2012 General Election

Sharpeyed operatives will observe this isn't a real lottery -- but is some sort of ceremony to decide ballot position:

"Candidates like to be listed first on the ballot," stated Helander. "There is statistical evidence that the first place position can yield a slight advantage," she continued.
County Clerk Announces Lottery for November 2012 General Election

Your LakeCountyEye advises ops to proofread their press releases before posting them on the TribLocal to look like news items.  In your LakeCountyEye's experience, candidates like to be listed alone on the ballot. Moreover, candidates like to be listed first on the election results.

But no one can doubt there is a slight statistical advantage in being first on the ballot.  Your LakeCountyEye has seen studies where that advantage can range as high as 80%, 90%, 100%, even a whopping 110% in some instances.

The outcome of this particular lottery could make or break more than one candidacy, so the stakes could not be higher. It should come as no surprise that, short of stuffing the ballot box, vested interests are hoping to sway this lottery drawing in their favor. Your LakeCountyEye has learned that one Party, who will remain unnamed, has hired the services of some of the nation's top psychics. On the day of the drawing, Uri Geller, Kreskin, and many others will be sending their telekinetic mind rays from an undisclosed location toward the Lake County Courthouse. Not to be outdone, the other Party, who will remain unnamed, has organized a 24/7 prayer chain. Your LakeCountyEye has been assured that as you read this, there is someone beseeching the Almighty.

Desperate times require desperate measures -- and the beauty of this is it's all perfectly legal! Your LakeCountyEye plans not to miss this particular ballot lottery. Look for the tin-foil hat.

Waiting for Idot

Your LakeCountyEye hasn't made any fun lately of the tireless tax fighters over at the McHenryCountyBlog. And they may not be feeling the love? Hopefully this will make amends.

An actual unretouched screen cap from the McHenryCountyBlog:

Dee Beaubien Officially Kicks Off Independent Campaign for State Representative against Dave McSweeney

As things stand, your LakeCountyEye has not been able to locate any reports of sleeping IDOT workers:

IDOT News

But these are state government employees after all, so everyone knows it's only a matter of time. Until then, here's a picture to look at of the Get-A-BRAIN!-MORANS guy:

That's all your LakeCountyEye has tonight. Move along, there's nothing else to see.

Scott Walker Inc®

Of the 100s of press releases that pass through the Inbox every day, this one caught your LakeCountyEye's eye:

Scott Walker Is Open For Business!

You reserved the best room in town. You invited all your A-List guests. But that topgun hotshot keynote speaker you booked, as it turns out, is a tenderfoot shooting blanks. The only sound heard all night is the sound of crickets. And then the caterer hands you his bill.

Do not blunder yourself again into every political event planner's worst nightmare -- because Scott Walker Inc^® is open for business! Scott Walker Inc^® has exclusively retained the services of America's most sought-after political speaker, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker. Contact Scott Walker Inc^® now, and that uninspired fundraiser of yours is guaranteed to become the over-booked media-sensation that the average political event planner can only dream of.

Scott Walker Inc^® is prepared to deliver to your event, and on time, the media lightning-rod:

Scott Walker

• Republican Governor of a Diminishing Rust Belt State
• Union Buster
• Media Lightning Rod

Every booking comes complete with a Triple-A-List of wealthy donor contacts, suitable for your host committee, including the Koch brothers and Ted Nugent.

And don't be misled by that (R) after Scott Walker(R)'s name. Media Lightning Rod Scott Walker is guaranteed to draw busloads not only of Republicans but Democrats as well. Every booking comes with a list of focus-group-tested insults to hurl at Mr Walker:

• Snot Walker
• Scott Silly Walker

Here is just one unsolicited testimonial culled from quite a few actually, courtesy Chicagoland's newspaper of record, the Patch:

With chants of "Union busting is disgusting" and "Hey, hey, ho, ho, Scott Walker's got to go," more than 200 union members from Illinois and Wisconsin lined the entrance to the Marriott Lincolnshire early Friday evening to give a message to Walker and Illinois Republicans. Walker was slated to speak later Friday night to the annual gathering of the Lake County Republican Federation at the hotel. The union members wanted to give a message to the local members of Walker's party his brand of politics is not welcome in Illinois.
Protesters Greet Wisconsin Governor in Lincolnshire

One call to Scott Walker Inc^® is money in your campaign coffer. Do not delay, act now. All offers void after June 5, 2012.

# # # #

It's Good to be King

Lake County must've been humming to itself Won't Get Fooled Again or something, because the theme-song on Wednesday night was ...

Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.

Haha, as reported by the Daily Herald ...

The leaders of Lake County's political parties will remain in place ahead of November's general election, as precinct committeemen cast their votes Wednesday night at party conventions held simultaneously in Waukegan. Wauconda Republican Bob Cook deflected a challenge from Moraine Township GOP Chairman Louis Atsaves to secure a second 2-year term as Lake County Republican Party chairman.
Lake County political parties retain leaders

It's well known that the first rule of lawyering (when cross examining a witness) is ...

Never Ask A Question You Don't Know the Answer To

Uncoincidentally the first rule of politics (during a floor fight) is ...

Never Initiate a Challenge Before Counting Your Votes

Operatives should now be sufficiently prepped for this year's 2012 Lake County Party Convention Pop Quiz:

Ralph Waldo Emerson said which of the following: If you punk the king you betta punkt him. If you pwn the king you musta ownd him. If you shoot at the king you must kill him.

All contest entries postmarked before midnight April 18, 2012 are automatically eligible for the next Mega Millions^® jackpot.

Voluntary Muscle

Besides being Titanic Day and Tax Day -- and if you are your LakeCountyEye, Titanic-Tax Day -- April 15th was also the first day of National Volunteer Week:

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim April 15 through April 21, 2012, as National Volunteer Week. I call upon all Americans to observe this week by volunteering in service projects across our country and pledging to make service a part of their daily lives.
Presidential Proclamation -- National Volunteer Week, 2012

And wherever there is a national bandwagon to be found, can Lake County be far behind? Haha is Willard the name of some billionaire guy running for president? Lake County has issued its own presidential proclamation:

When citizens participate in government, it enhances transparency, openness, as well as effectiveness because government officials benefit from citizens' input, perspective, and expertise. The Lake County Board is seeking volunteers to appoint to various boards, agencies, and commissions.
Are you interested in volunteering to serve on a government board?

Why is Lake County seeking volunteers to "various boards, agencies, and commissions"? Because -- unlike cushy elected positions like County Commissioner and Township Supervisor -- these are the jobs that impose onerous workloads and responsibilities and come with no benefits, pensions or salaries. In other words these are the public sector jobs nobody wants.

Still, you're reading this, so your LakeCountyEye knows you're an operative who would rather do just about anything other than leave show the business. So here are ten volunteer opportunities pulled directly from the Lake County website:

Ten Lake County Government Board Openings No One Else Wants

Regional Planning Commission: Dimucci Property Rubber Stamp Functionary Lake County Department of Transportation Recorder of Roundabouts Fort Sheridan Club Professional Port Barrington Port Authority Route 53 Extension Comptroller of Tolls Lake County Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco & Firearms: Chief of Police Oversight Division Lake Michigan Asian Carp Abatement District Venetian Village Gondola Regulatory Commission U.N. Human Rights Watch: Division of the Lake County Sheriff and State's Attorney Lake County Gambling Czar

Look for your LakeCountyEye in voluntary servitude.

Bewitched, Bothered & Brotherhooded

You're a freshman congressman running against a genuine Iraq war hero with a national platform. Your Teaparty base lives up the Route 12 corridor north to the Wisconsin border. But your new Congressional district was sent south of I-90 to ethnically diverse Schaumburg. What's your campaign strategy? Haha run against the the President. Which according to one press release on his house-dot-gov website, is just what Lake County 8th District Congressman Joe Walsh is doing:

It's disappointing that an Administration - which continues to use inflammatory rhetoric against Republicans by using terms such as 'War on Women' - would meet with the Muslim Brotherhood. This is a group that would be happy to see women's rights returned to the Stone Age. The President is sending an unclear message. Just this week he felt the need to speak out against women not being admitted into Augusta National, but a day later is meeting with a group that discriminates against women. Which is it? The Muslim Brotherhood represents the exact opposite of American ideals: freedom of religion, freedom of expression, and women's rights.
Walsh Calls on President to Distance Himself from Muslim Brotherhood

The broadside is a semiotic gem. What is the Muslim Brotherhood? Nobody knows. But to link President Obama to the scary sounding Muslim Brotherhood telegraphs the coded message that the leader of the other party is a Muslim. Not to mention a brother.

The strategy comes right out of the Karl Rove playbook. Take your own shortcomings and paint them on your opponent. Walsh has drawn a female opponent -- in the year of the war on women. If you're a Congressman with that and other well publicized female problems, then the Muslim Brotherhood may be just what the doctor ordered. Walsh is careful not to attack his opponent on women's issues. Instead attention is diverted away from Walsh's own family-court problems by implicating his opponent's party with an anti-woman Muslin Brotherhood.

Haha readers of this blog should not be surprised ...

Walsh v Obama

this blog predicted Joe Walsh would run against President Obama.

Some Dissembly Required

Have you heard the one about the Sheriff who wanted to work from home so he had himself arrested? Haha, Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran was on track to stage his annual publicity stunt, where according to his press release, Curran would spend a week in his ...

jail as a show of faith he personally has in his corrections personnel. Given the recent publicity regarding events that have occurred in the jail, Sheriff Curran would like to take this opportunity to highlight the realities of the exceptional treatment of the inmates at the jail, as well as the dedication of the correctional officers that serve them.

As readers of this blog are legally aware ...

An Unscheduled Outage

"recent publicity" refers to the deaths of County inmates and their pending investigation & litigation. And then early this week, Curran's ballyhooed sojourn to his hoosegow was abruptly cancelled because of a "scheduling conflict". In other words, a Sheriff Department's previously-scheduled event was now being cancelled on account of a scheduling conflict. Haha. Cooler heads had nodoubt prevailed in Waukegan and Curran's trip to the cooler was, on legal advice, put on ice.

Are they even trying to keep up appearances in the Lake County Sheriff's Department? If so, c'mon, there are more plausible excuses for scuttling your planned media spectacle than appealing to a scheduling conflict. Your LakeCountyEye has at least 10 on file:

Ten Much Better Official Excuses for Cancelling that Planned Event

Want to spend more time with the family Invited to throw the first pitch at the Fielder's opening game Delayed in a monster jam at a Lake County traffic circle Jury duty! Stayed up late watching Lockup on cable Spent the carfare on Mega Million tickets Snatched some Nicki Minaj tickets that night -- she's the shyt Will be setting up the DUI checkpoints on the Route 53 Extension Got a tee-time at Fort Sheridan Just plain ran out of b.s.

Look for your LakeCountyEye blogging near a McDonald's Wi-Fi near you. For a week.

An Unscheduled Outage

Lent is a time for sacrifice -- for the faithful this can range from the meatless Friday to some of the more extreme rituals practiced in foreign countries. It should be no surprise that Lake County's presiding Penitente -- Sheriff Mark Curran -- had a press conference scheduled on Good Friday to announce his latest public display of self-mortification. Reality, however, intervened first. Curran, according to News-Sun ...

has cancelled plans to make a return trip to his jail as part of an effort to show faith in the correctional staff after two deaths have been linked to stays in the county facility in downtown Waukegan. One inmate starved herself to death and another suffered injuries that may have contributed to his death. Curran had planned on holding a press conference today, to announce his return as an inmate to the jail. "Sheriff Curran will spend a week in the jail as a show of faith he personally has in his corrections personnel. Given the recent publicity regarding events that have occurred in the jail, Sheriff Curran would like to take this opportunity to highlight the realities of the exceptional treatment of the inmates at the jail, as well as the dedication of the correctional officers that serve them," read the Friday announcement from the sheriff. Curran said he canceled the jail stay due to a scheduling conflict.
Sheriff cancels planned jail stay

It has never occurred to your LakeCountyEye to cite a "scheduling conflict" as an excuse for getting out of doing Lenten penitence. To be sure, elected officials will appeal to a fictitious conflict in their schedules to get out of doing things they don't want to do. Curran's own attorney James Sotos admitted as much to the Daily Herald:

Sheriff Mark Curran had planned to spend this week as an inmate in the jail as a show of the faith he has in corrections personnel, but he canceled those plans because of a "scheduling conflict," according to a news release from his office. Sotos said he advised Curran to cancel the news conference that was supposed to accompany the self-imposed incarceration. "I simply advised my clients that, as the targets of legal action, I was not comfortable with a public discussion of the issues in this case," Sotos said. "I am the scheduling conflict in this matter."
Special investigator assigned to Lake County jail death case

Haha, for a public official to be caught in a lie is one thing. But to be outed by one's own attorney is something else entirely. Note to all elected officials: You may want to give up telling whoppers for Lent next year. Or at least hire legal counsel that can coverup for you with a straight face.

Statute of Eliminations

If the year was 1982 and David McSweeney was Boeing stock then your LakeCountyEye would be wishing to have bet on David McSweeney. However it's not 1982 any more. For that matter, David McSweeney is not Boeing stock. Ha ha, McSweeney, the Republican nominee for the 52nd Representative District seemed to be on a glide-path to electoral victory in November. But as readers of this blog are aerodynamically aware ...

McSweeney Agonistes?

McSweeney has, all-of-a-sudden, a high-profile opponent in the 2012 Election, Dee Beaubien. It is being widely reported that Mark Beaubien's widow is considering an Independent run against McSweeney. If so, that McSweeney glide-path may now be a tail-spin, as Beaubien's enviable name-recognition would virtually guarantee her the seat in November.

There had been a golden parachute floating over McSweeney's horizon. A bill HB2009, signed into law on March 30, prohibits anyone who voted in a Primary from running in the General election as an Independent candidate or for a different party.

That parachute, however, may turn out to be a lead balloon. The tireless tax fighters at the McHenryCountyBlog are reporting that ...

One would have thought that Dee Beaubien, who worked the phones to get her husband's budget man, Kent Gaffney, appointed to fill Mark's spot, would have voted in the Republican primary election for him. But she didn't. She took a non-partisan ballot
Dee Beaubien Covers Bases in Primary by Voting Non-Partisan

Ha ha, no flies on Dee! It's widely believed that no one on either side of the aisle is eager to see McSweeney join the Illinois Legislature -- none of which was likely lost on Beaubien. That McSweeney stock, in your LakeCountyEye's opinion, is about as valuable these days as shares in Pan Am.

McSweeney Agonistes?

Lake County has its hands in a wringer -- at least that part of Lake County, west of the Route 53 Extension, that nobody talks about. Lake County has been wringing its hands over David McSweeney's upset victory over incumbent Kent Gaffney in State Rep District 52. In particular, everyone is wondering how perennial losing-candidate McSweeney was able to beat Gaffney -- the hand-picked successor to Mark Beaubien -- in the Republican Primary.

Although politically a centrist, Gaffney had been voting in Springfield like a Joe Walsh, and at the same time gathering an elephantine trunk-full of conservative endorsements, to get the Republican voters to like him. Your LakeCountyEye knows better, however, and could have advised Gaffney that he was wasting his time. The typical voter does not care about how their Rep votes in Springfield or who endorsed him. That's because the typical voter does not know who their Rep in Springfield is. For that matter, the typical voter does not know what a Rep in Springfield is.

Your LakeCountyEye would've advised Gaffney to raise a trunk-full of campaign cash and carpet-bomb the mailboxes in his district with campaign lit. Which is exactly what McSweeney did. The end.

Or is it?

Now the Daily Herald reports that Dee Beaubien is making plans to run against McSweeney:

Dee Beaubien, wife of the late Republican state Rep. Mark Beaubien of Barrington Hills, is considering a run for Illinois House as an independent, she said late Thursday. "Considering is the correct word," Beaubien said.
Dee Beaubien thinking about House run

Local pundits think it is a given that Beaubien will run -- the real question is: As a Democrat or an Independent?

A Democratic candidate would need to gather 500 petition signatures to qualify for the November ballot. An Independent candidate for the same office needs to obtain three times as many -- 1,500 petition signatures. On the other hand, Independent candidate Beaubien would be the odds-on favorite in a head-to-head match against McSweeney. No amount of lit-bombing on McSweeney's part would make a dent in Beaubien's enviable name recognition at the ballot box. If Beaubien did opt to run as a Democrat, however, McSweeney might be able to use that as a wedge to peel off enough votes from Beaubien to squeak out a victory in November.

Your LakeCountyEye is convinced: the I's have it.

Heartland of Gold

Your LakeCountyEye's green eyeshade sure must be red, for misleading readers of this blog into thinking Lake County is hopping mad:

Judy Judy Judy

Lake County is not hopping mad. According to the News-Sun, Lake County's blood is boiling:

A report last month by a government watchdog group should get any Lake County property owner's blood boiling. While the study by the nonprofit Heartland Institute analyzed Cook County property taxes levies, its sobering message applies to Lake County, and the other collar counties, as well. The Heartland study was based on rising property tax levies in Cook County from 2000 to 2010. It's conclusion: The property tax has become overly burdensome on businesses and homeowners, and government spending cannot continue at current levels.
Our View: Taxing decisions

So, Lake County property taxes are too high and the voters are not happy? No two ways about it, a gutsy call by the News-Sun!

It's not often the News-Sun goes out on a limb like this, so it should come as no surprise they base their anti-tax jeremiad on some policy statements issued by the Heartland Institute. For readers of this blog not aware, the "nonprofit" Heartland Institute is a libertarian think-tank that gets the bulk of its funding from corporate and free-market advocacy sources like oil companies, tobacco companies, pharmaceutical companies. And with that special interest money, the Heartland Institute is at the ready to share its facts and figures and opinions on the vital issues of the day. Take it from your LakeCountyEye, for the pressed op/ed writer up against a deadline, the Heartland Institute is a Godsend.

To prove it, your LakeCountyEye has collected ten more public policy ideas from the Heartland Institute, readymade to become that next Pultizer-quality no-holds-barred editorial:

Ten Heartland Institute Public Policy Positions

Net Neutrality Should Be Rejected Global Warming is a Myth Second-Hand Smoke is Not a Health Hazard A Privatized System of Education Will Outperform the Public Schools Genetically Engineered Crops are a Boon The Great Lakes Water Resources Compact Ought to be Repealed Increases in Atmospheric CO2 are Beneficial Municipal Wi-Fi is Undesirable Natural Gas Should be Obtained by Hydraulic Fracturing (Fracking) Heartland Institute 1994 Public Policy Director: Joe Walsh

Look for your your LakeCountyEye, mad as hell, and not going to take it anymore.

Judy Judy Judy

As the spring holidays approach, Lake County is naturally hopping mad. Lake County is hopping mad about their State government -- in particular about what their State government spends to buy stuff and pay its employees. Lake County is hopping mad because these are tax dollars that Lake County would rather have for itself -- to spend on good stuff like MEGA Millions® lottery tickets.

Well, thanks to State of Illinois Comptroller Judy Baar Topinka, Lake County can now get not only hopping mad but hopping even. According to the Daily Herald ...

Finding out how much state workers make and what the state spends could become a little easier with the launch of a new website from Illinois Comptroller Judy Baar Topinka called The Ledger. At Ledger.IllinoisComptroller.com, visitors can search for employee salaries by last name, as well as track the daily count of the state's backlog of unpaid bills.
Topinka unveils new state transparency website

Other State of Illinois websites have similar information, but this website provides the same similar information on a different website. According to the same Daily Herald story ...

Topinka met with the Daily Herald Editorial Board Monday to promote the new effort. The site will be updated at least daily.
Topinka unveils new state transparency website

Neither Topinka nor the Herald story divulges how much the new website is costing Illinois taxpayers -- many of whom are from Lake County.

As a service, your LakeCountyEye has provided some links to the new website. Operatives are challenged to find out for themselves how many tax dollars went into publishing The Ledger.

The Ledger: Home

The Ledger: Find a Revenue

The Ledger: Find an Expense

The Ledger: State Contract Database

The Ledger: Find a State Employee

The Ledger: Site Map

For the record, this blog post is not to be construed as an Internet Shrine to State of Illinois Comptroller Judy Baar Topinka.

When is Valentine's Day this year?