Holy Wars

Today's pop quiz measures how well you remember your history units:

Q: When asked about the Catholic Church, this wartime dictator famously said: "How many tank divisions does the Pope have?"

If you named Joseph Stalin, that was a good guess -- but you are wrong. The correct answer is Donald Trump.

HaHa. Widely considered America's first gangster President, Donald J Trump has now picked a fight with the Pope:

"Pope Leo is WEAK on Crime, and terrible for Foreign Policy," Trump posted on social media. In other interviews, the president said, "I'm not a big fan of Pope Leo. If I wasn't in the White House, Leo wouldn't be in the Vatican."
Column: President Trump targets pope in latest crude attack

Soon afterward, the State Department issued a travel advisory against visiting the Vatican City: "Hostile military operations shall commence there momentarily."

In related news the Mayor of North Chicago recently had an audience with the Pope:

North Chicago mayor part of delegation meeting Pope Leo XIV: 'I asked him to pray for our city'

Soon afterward, the State Department issued a travel advisory against visiting North Chicago: "Hostile military operations shall commence there momentarily."

Betty Russell Community Park – Concept Design Reveal & Feedback

Betty Russell Community Park – Concept Design Reveal & Feedback

Holy Smoke and Mirrors

An actual unretouched screencap from the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source:

The Arts & Entertainment section of Lake County Gazette is chock-full with notices of Mass times and other religious services. This in effect lumps together religion with other forms of entertainment, such as sports betting.

The Lake County Gazette does not ordinarily wear their heart on their sleeve like this. That is because the content you read on the Lake County Gazette is generated by Russian troll farms, and Russians prefer to wear sleeveless shirts:

Telnyashka

A spokesman for the Lake County Gazette said (translated from Russian): "Our editorial board regards this as a step in the right direction. These stories used to be published in the Business section of the newspaper."

A Fuel and its Money are Soon Parted

Question of the Day: How is a $5 coffee like $5 gasoline?

Answer: A $5 coffee will give you gas. While $5 gasoline is a cuppa Joe -- as in Joe Biden, the person responsible for the $5 gasoline:

JD Vance savagely attacks Joe Biden when asked about record gas prices

HaHa. Gas is way too expensive to spend idling your non-EV at a Lake County red light. Consider instead a Lake County roundabout, where your idle time is reduced to zero:

Lake County's affinity for roundabouts continues with three more to be built this summer
3 roundabouts in Lake County's 2026 construction program

For the record, 2 roundabouts are being built along the Wisconsin border.

A spokesman for the White House said: "If you run out of gas there, just flag yourself a lift from a border security vehicle."