Sunday, December 31, 2023

Cooked Up Confections

Given Donald Trump's penchant for filing frivolous lawsuits, it should be no surprise that the Lake County Gazette has a story about orange tortes:
The Lake County Gazette asked one real person about pumpkin pie. He said:
Speaking about the significance of this day, John Doe, a pumpkin pie enthusiast, shared his enthusiasm, saying, "Christmas and pumpkin pie go hand in hand for me."

And the Lake County Gazette asked another real person about pumpkin pie. She said:
Jane Smith, a resident of Illinois, expressed her pride, stating, "Pumpkin pie holds a special place in our hearts here in Illinois."

And the Lake County Gazette (aka Lake County's #1 fakenews source) sent a H/T to Tom Weber for the story idea:
For the record, that is State Rep Tom Weber. If that is his real name.

Wednesday, December 27, 2023

Santa's Coming to Town

Is there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about? The McHenry County Blog knows, courtesy good ol' Charlie Brown:
"Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger."

The tinfoil theocrats at the McHenry County Blog also want you know something else -- that a busload of migrants from Texas were dropped off in Fox River Grove:
Note to Texas Migrants: Move along. There is no room at the inn, here.

Saturday, December 23, 2023

A Republian in Name Only

The McHenry County man who misspelled REPUBLICAN on his nominating papers will get to run as a Republican anyways:
Misspelling won't keep candidate for McHenry County Board off ballot
Officials do concede there are ways to get thrown off the ballot in McHenry County -- even with a misspelled Party name. Ten of them by your LakeCountyEye's count:
10 Commonly Misspelled Party Names
Seen on a McHenry County Ballot Petition
  1. Repugnican
  2. RepubliConMan
  3. The GOOP
  4. The Party of Nixon
  5. The Silly Party
  6. RepuliThisIsWhyYouShouldBeInvestingInBitCoin
  7. The Know Nothing Party
  8. RePutinsPuppet
  9. The Stag Party
  10. The Guilty Party
Look for your LakeCountyEye at a hollyday party near you.

Monday, December 18, 2023

Grand Old Prat

The McHenry County Man who filed nominating papers for the McHenry County board failed to shoot himself in the foot to correctly spell REPUBLICAN:
A county board incumbent in Illinois wants election officials to disqualify his primary opponent because he misspelled "Republican" on his nomination papers. McHenry County Board member Eric Hendricks has filed an objection to primary opponent Bob Nowak's candidacy
Illinois county board incumbent wants primary opponent disqualified for misspelling 'Republican'
Note to Ops: Don't be pennywise and pound foolish. Sure, homeschooling is more economical, but you end up paying for it in the long run.

Thursday, December 14, 2023

The Fontainhead

Knock Knock. Who's there? Ayn. Ayn who? Ayn you glad I didn't say banana?
It's true, Mundelein water is piped in from Lake Michigan, but don't expect to see it any time soon. A public fountain will not be built outside of Mundelein Village Hall. Mundelein Trustees deep-sixed the idea:
Plans for a public gathering space in the now-vacant oval outside Mundelein's village hall will progress without a water feature - to the apparent frustration of Mayor Steve Lentz.
Mundelein plaza plan now won't include fountain
All of this, even though the Mayor of Mundelein wanted a fountain:
Lentz talked glowingly about the public fountains in Kansas City, Missouri, and in Rome and the prospect of such a feature at Plaza Circle. "Fountains are a thing," Lentz said.
Mundelein plaza plan now won't include fountain
Going as far as securing a proposal and cost estimate from a contractor:
"The village hired Deerfield engineering and design firm Kimley-Horn to develop plans for the oval." Lentz said.
Mundelein plaza plan now won't include fountain
Note to Ops: Make sure to count your votes ahead of time. You never know which of your Trustees are wet blankets.

Saturday, December 9, 2023

If You Lie with Dogmatists

Lake County backbench staterep Martin McLaughlin was seen consorting with We the People of McHenry County:

We the People is a network of McHenry County tinfoil theocrats:
We the People are election deniers:
We the People want to take over the public schools:
We the People do not believe women can make their own reproductive decisions:
And if that don't beat all, We the People has a happy for Martin McLaughlin:
Note to Ops: You can't spell Martin McLaughlin without MAGA.

Sunday, December 3, 2023

Raze the Roofs

fixed overhead costs
The truck that crashed into the Long Grove bridge failed to hit the Long Grove bridge this time. The truck demolished a covered bridge in Princeton IL, instead:
despite multiple signs warning against doing so, the driver of an 18-wheeler tried to cross the bridge, causing extensive damage to the structure.
‘Devastated’: 160-year-old covered bridge, one of few left in Illinois, severely damaged by truck
For the record, Princeton is an exurb South of I-80, North of Peoria, and West of the Pecos.

A Lake County traffic safety officer told your LakeCountyEye: "Our decoy program is working better than expected. Every truck that hits a downstate covered bridge is one less truck crashing into the Long Grove bridge."

The McHenry County Man who shot himself in the foot who failed to shoot himself in the foot in McHenry County was unavailable for comment.