Friday, April 30, 2010

Cognitive Diss

Hands-down the creepiest Chicago Tribune editorial cartoonist Scott Stantis is now challenging Dick Locher for the additional honor of the half-baked-est Chicago Tribune editorial cartoonist.

Stantis's latest Tribune cartoon takes a potholeshot at the sorry condition of our Illinois roads:

Chicago Tribune, 04/30/2010
Cartoonists, a sub-species of journalists that exist in perpetuum behind-deadline, typically troll the headlines for ideas. The cartoon no doubt was inspired by a recent GooGoo report covered, among others, by the Daily Herald:
Report: State's road are among worst
In and of itself, the cartoon is not so bad -- however compare it with this Stantis cartoon:

Chicago Tribune, 10/09/2009
Stantis and/or the Tribune are justifiably upset over the condition of our roads and justifiably upset over our tax burden. However one doesn't have to be a quantum mechanic to understand that the two ideas, when combined, equal a zero-sum game. You can't pay for one without stealing from the other -- we have to put up with either shoddy roads or higher taxes.

Perhaps Stantis/Tribune expects the Federal government to fix our roads, free of charge. If so, then what's up with this Stantis cartoon?

Chicago Tribune, 03/01/2010
From an editorial perspective, the Chicago Tribune is appealing to readers who have difficulty combining 1 + 1 and coming up with 2. Which, no surprise, coincides with the Tribune's recent hard turn to the right in the editorial pages. It's a given that old media, like the home delivered newspaper, is an endangered species on the verge of extinction. People that prefer their news hand-delivered to their front porch every morning, probably have difficulty extracting news from new media sources, like the Internet. Your LakeCountyEye speculates that this is the same demographic that identifies with the Tea Party. The demographic that wants to take our country back -- the same country envisioned by our Founding Fathers, one that once gave us free goods and services (like drivable roads) without asking us to pay for any of it.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

FOIA Fevah

Island Lake Trustee Laurie Rabattini is giving Buffalo Grove Trustee Lisa Stone a run for her money. Rabattini is positioned to eclipse Stone as the new Lisa Stone of Lake County government. Stone admittedly is a tough act to follow, but Rabattini seems equal to the task. Rabattini picked up some earned media (courtesy the Daily Herald) by using the N-word on her blog -- where she compared her political foes with the Nazis.
Island Lake trustee in blog likens mayor to Hitler
And more recently, Rabattini with other village Trustees have brought Island Lake to a bureaucratic standstill by flooding their village government with FOIA requests. The Daily Herald got the scoop on Rabattini's, et al., FOIA frenzy ...
Island Lake FOIA requests covered a variety of topics
by issuing its own FOIA request. One little known provision of the Illinois FOIA Law is that it is recursive. A FOIA can be filed to find out what sort of information has been requested by prior FOIAs. In other words, a sharp-eyed operative can FOIA a FOIAer. Cut to the paper chase, your LakeCountyEye has filed the necessary paperwork for the 10 most recent FOIA requests issued by Island Lake's Trustees. They are enumerated herewith for your perusal:

10 Latest Island Lake Trustee FOIA Requests
AgencyFOIA Request
1US Embassy: Nairobi, KenyaBarack Obama Birth Certificate
2Illinois Gaming BoardVideo Poker Cheat Codes
3FDICBroadway Bank Drive-Thru Teller Hours
4JoAnn Osmond Legislative OfficeRSVP to Linda Pedersen:
The Check is in the Mail
5Federal Witness Protection ProgramIdentity of Lauren Turelli
6Lake County Republican FederationIdentity of Tim Pawlenty
7Lake County Sheriff's DepartmentToday's Divine Revelation
8Arizona State PoliceShow Me Your Papers
9US Treasury DepartmentI Want to Buy Gold -- Contact Me ASAP!
10Village of Island LakeFor a Clue

Your LakeCountyEye hopes someday to send a FOIA request to OSHA on how to file, after a diagnosis of carpal tunnel syndrome, a carpal tunnel claim.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Lip Service

Your LakeCountyEye's All-Purpose Political Demonizer™ Web Widget, published here ...
Q the Eye/04.21.10
has been a bandwith-eating sensation throughout the blogosphere. What else explains howcome Blogspot has been slower than a hand-cranked 56K modem the past few days? The Widget enables DIY operatives to create their own political attack literature -- the Demonizer generates Hitlerized images of your political enemies in the blink of an eye.

The All-Purpose Political Demonizer™ has been so popular that your LakeCountyEye is presenting again the Widget below. Just paste in the image URL of the individual you wish to demonize. Adjust the numbers. And before you know it your victim will be sporting a Hitler mustache suitable for contempt. A brand new example has been preloaded to get you started. Encore!

As a bonus, your LakeCountyEye has routed to a secure datastore the http-referrers generated by the Web Widget. Traffic analyses indicate the Ops are demonizing a wide & diverse variety of targets. Your LakeCountyEye has gathered the 10 most popular, and presents them here, along with URLs and coordinates.

10 Most Popular LakeCountyEye Web Widget
All-Purpose Political Demonizer™ Downloads
Mona Lisa
Martin Van Buren
Smiley Face
Charlie Chaplin
Princess Nudelman
The Picasso Statue
Martian Face
Rod Blagojevich

LakeCountyEye Web Widget
All-Purpose Political Demonizer™

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Q the Eye/04.21.10

Dear LakeCountyEye,

I'm a Tea Party Patriot who says it's time to take back our county ever since 2009. Last week I agreed to be a Lake County precinct committeeman. I really have 2 questions. One, what is a precinct committeeman? And, two, where can I get some of those Obama+Hitler signs?

A Picture is Worth 1000 Wards
Dear Wards Fail Me,

There has been an undeniable uptick, recently, in the slash & burn politics of demonizing the opposition. This mostly occurs when individuals or groups are unwilling to compromise, and you seem no exception to the rule. These are, no doubt, frustrating times. Communicating successfully with voters is the primary task of a precinct committeeman and giving voice to one's frustrations is difficult & confusing in the best of situations. Luckily there will always be the Nazis to bank on when one needs a universally recognizable semaphore for smearing the other Party.

As reported here last week ...
Secret Stash
Hitlerizing one's political bĂȘte noir is a voodoo art best left to the professionals. But having been inundated, for some reason, with requests similar to yours ...
Itteh Bitteh Teah Parteh Committeh
your LakeCountyEye is prepared to go one better and empower you to create camera-ready images of your opponents -- complete with their very own Hitler-mustaches. All you need is some web-smarts plus a printer and you're soon to be denigrating the political opposition like a Goebbels or a Rove.

To begin, familiarize yourself with the All-Purpose Political Demonizer Web Widget™, below. Then on the Internet, find a front-portrait image of your enemy. It does not matter whose image it is -- like the Internet itself, the Demonizer Widget™ does not discriminate. Paste the Internet http address of the image into the box marked URL. Then click the Demonize Me! button. Position the Hitler-mustache over the image where it looks most lifelike. The Move Down number adjusts the distance from the top margin. The Move Right number adjusts the distance from the left margin. And the Size number adjusts the mustache size. Keep tweaking the numbers and clicking Demonize Me!, until you have utterly Hitlerized your victim. When satisfied, send your artwork to your printer.

Your LakeCountyEye suggests pasting the image on your precinct walkcards. You can also print poster sized copies for the next protest confrontation. Or emboss some for your wallet and pass out copies to friends and neighbors.

The Demonizer Widget™ is already pre-set with an example to get you started. Do not hesitate. Click Demonize Me! now and go nuts!

LakeCountyEye Web Widget
All-Purpose Political Demonizer™

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ...

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Itteh Bitteh Teah Parteh Committeh

Back when it was Pres. Bush Jr's finger on the trigger, the Lake County Democrats would count their precinct committeemen on the fingers of one hand. Stray anywhere west of I-94, and you couldn't find a Democratic committeeman to give the finger. Out of desperation the Democrats were crashing Dean For America Meetups to recruit precinct walkers. Your LakeCountyEye could've predicted the sad outcome. Instead of filling their ranks with dedicated ward heelers eager to knock on doors and drag voters to the polls, they got a sorry crew of couch slouchers who were more interested in gathering at flash mobs to whine about George W Bush than participate in anything that approached constructive political action. Lake County Democrats have only recently managed to turn things around, and to their advantage, by replacing their DFA slackers with Rahm's private army of paratroops. Your LakeCountyEye expects the County Dems to be the dominant political player for the foreseeable future.

Now it's the Lake County Republican's turn, who find themselves in the same unenviable spot the Democrats held those few years ago. And to your LakeCountyEye's chagrin, the County Republicans are making the same mistake the Dems made back then, all over again. Of course they'd be ill-advised to attend DFA meetings, but that hasn't stopped the County Republicans from searching for recruits at the moral equivalent of a DFA meeting -- at Tea Party rallies. According to the Chicago Tribune ...
Bob Cook, chairman of the Lake County Republican Party, said his organization was having some difficulty filling vacancies until they reached out to the tea party activists. Now, Cook said, he has filled nearly half of the 60 vacant precinct positions with those who are active in the movement.
Tea partiers rally, plan for bigger role
LakeCountyEye Ops consistently report your typical Tea Party rally is mostly a demographic who believes Pres. Obama is a Muslim from Kenya who wants to confiscate our guns.
Champaign mayor doubts Obama's citizenship
You don't need a calculator to know, that of the County Republican committeemen, a now sizable number are getting their information from FoxNews. Sure, Rumsfeld said you fight with the army you got, not the one you want. Nonetheless, your LakeCountyEye has to wonder just how many doors will Bob Cook's new committeemen knock for his down-ticket candidates? Your Regional Superintendent of Schools yardsigns don't do any good if they're never pulled from the shipping crates.

Cook has perhaps two worst case scenarios to consider:
  1. New Tea Party committeemen all stay home in October.
  2. New Tea Party committeemen knock on doors in October; inform voters that Obama is the Socialist Antichrist foretold in scripture & that the EndTimes approach.
Well, that's an exaggeration. Worst case scenario would've been if they had recruited the DFA slackers.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Secret Stash

Monday, your LakeCountyEye took notice of a local municipal trustee who compared, on a blog, her political opponents with the Nazis ...
Q the Eye/04.12.10
Well as every political satirist knows, you are having a good day if someone got the joke. Your LakeCountyEye's post being no exception to the rule, requests are flooding in for advice on how best to smear one's enemies with the Hitler-card.

Nevermind your LakeCountyEye's belief that Nazis are to negative campaigning what nuclear power is to clean energy: far and away more trouble than it's worth. And nevermind the corollary to Godwin's Law that says the first one who compares an opponent with Nazis/Hitler has lost the debate. Your LakeCountyEye fondly recalls passing untold hours in fourth grade detention hall, pencilling little Hitler mustaches on church bulletin photos of the nuns. Hitlerizing your nemeses, while fair-game for fourth graders, is another thing entirely when applied to grown-up political discourse. Any adult who compares their enemies with the Nazis is going to be perceived as someone who hasn't evolved much beyond, well, the fourth grade.

Level headed considerations such as these have not deterred the LakeCountyEye Operatives, however. Their consensus seems to be: if it works for Glenn Beck, how do I get it to work for me? So be it. The vox populi is the vox dei, and your LakeCountyEye wishes not to disappoint.

The secret is the stache. SharpEyed Ops may notice that Glenn Beck, Lyndon LaRouche, the Tea Party, et al never directly compare their enemies with Hitler. Rather they draw little Hitler mustaches on photos of their targets. Painting your opponent with that Charlie Chaplinish clown mustache, adds just enough irony to a political message, that you are inoculated from being the one perceived as a clown. It gets you promoted, so to speak, from the fourth grade to the, say, ninth or tenth grade.

Prepare your sharpies. There are plenty of shaven images out there, waiting.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Q the Eye/04.12.10

Dear LakeCountyEye,

I want to discredit my political opponents, but I'm having a devil of a time. Nothing I throw ever sticks. What do I need to paint them with to smear my enemies?

Rabbit Punch

Dear Maroon on an Island,

Your LakeCountyEye is no stranger to the craft of demonizing one's political enemies. The SOP would be to OPPO your opponent and anonymously leak the embarrassing revelation to the press. Never, as a rule, personally attack anyone -- let some willing intermediary in on the fun.

But your LakeCountyEye suspects that the concept of opposition research may be a level or two above your pay-grade. And whether out of inclination or necessity (your LakeCountyEye isn't sure) you may prefer to do your own dirty-work. In which case, the plan of last resort is to start calling names.

The finely crafted political insult is a lost art. Rarely is someone accused anymore of being a poltroon who would exact payments of rent from the lice moored in his beard. These days, the political smear has been reduced to a few reoccurring pernicious signifiers -- the goal is to come up with the right code-word that frames your opponent. And your LakeCountyEye knows firsthand how hard it is, these days, to ferret out a good symbol of ultimate contempt.

Once upon a time you called your opponent the Devil. Full stop. Nowadays if you unfavorably compare your enemy with Mephistopheles, you're greeted with snickering. Another tried & true standby was the Red Menace. Back in the day, you accused your enemy of Communist sympathies, and they were trotskied off to jail. But just try and mention Leninism or Stalinism -- all you're likely to elicit these days will be blank stares.

But don't despair. For your LakeCountyEye's money, the symbolic sine qua non, the gold standard of Evil, will forever be the Nazis. No puzzled looks, no snickers, ever follow a well-timed insinuation with the National Socialists. Hitler still has the mojo to strike fear in the hearts of the young and to give pause to those who otherwise would know better.

Your LakeCountyEye would recommend playing the Hitler card. Just be sure not to overplay your hand. As reported in the Daily Herald,
Island Lake trustee in blog likens mayor to Hitler
one local pol posted a rant on a blog, lumping her foes in with the Nazis. Well, faster than the Wehrmacht was crossing the Paris city limits, this pol was forced to do a one-eighty. The pol, according to the Herald,
Island Lake trustee issues mea culpa for Hitler blog
scrubbed clean the blog, saying oops, my bad I didn't really mean it. A LakeCountyEye word to the wise: Nazis are your nuclear option, crude but effective mutually assured destruction. Forewarned is forearmed!

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ...

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Write as Rain

Your LakeCountyEye was surfing the Internets this week ...
Rein of Error
And trolled up some stories from the Daily Herald ... SharpEyed Operatives may notice it is not clear whether the sources quoted by the Herald meant rein, reign or possibly rain. Of course answers can be obtained by anyone with the inclination to make the phonecalls -- and your LakeCountyEye brooks no peer when it comes to the pursuit of scientific research. With that in mind, your LakeCountyEye is pleased to issue a challenge to Operatives: How often, between now and the November election, can someone be grammatically misquoted by the Daily Herald and other local print media?

The rules of the challenge are simple. Make a statement to a newspaper, one that is grammatically incorrect when committed to the printed page. This is not to be confused with being out-and-out misquoted in print -- an ability which requires no special effort or skill. You are being challenged to make a statement that will be grammatically misrepresented in print. Some suggested statements ...
  • "We need to rein in out-of-control government spending."
  • "We cannot give free rein to out-of-control government spending."
  • "We have to tighten the reins on out-of-control government spending."
  • "We must end the reign of out-of-control government spending."
  • "The rain in Spain stays mainly in the out-of-control government spending."
Simply make your statement to a reporter. Then wait and see what gets printed. Nothing else is required of you, other than make sure they spell your name correctly. Please do not contact your LakeCountyEye on how to get quoted in print. If you do not know, you are automatically not eligible to enter the contest. Only LakeCountyEye Operatives with the necessary media savvy or political clout need apply -- which by definition encompasses all LakeCountyEye Operatives.

Please do not to submit your entries here. Your LakeCountyEye will be monitoring the print media for your statements. Eligible print outlets include, but are not limited to: the Tribune, the Sun-Times, the News-Sun, the Daily Herald, the NorthWest Herald, the Lake County Journal. Your LakeCountyEye will not be monitoring blogs. The only time a blogger pays any attention to their grammar is when they pay her a visit to pick up their birthday check.

Only orally made statements are eligible for consideration. Statements submitted to the media electronically or on paper defeat the purpose of the challenge. In addition, you may be contacted in instances where it appears you were accurately quoted. The use of profanity is not encouraged by your LakeCountyEye. However, any cuss words that do appear in print are to be given honorable mention. All judges's decisions are final.

The LakeCountyEye 2010 Election Challenge will remain open through the period of this year's general election. The following LakeCountyEye Honors will be awarded based on scores tallied, as of midnight Nov 3:
LakeCountyEye 2010 Election Challenge
1Rein Man
2Reign Maker
3 or MoreRaining Monarch
Act now -- there is no time too loose when government spending is out-of-control!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Rein of Error

It's no secret Lake County gets her share (and more) of the April showers. And now that Global Warming has been exposed to be a hoax perpetrated by the liberal media, this April looks to be no less waterlogged than any Aprils past. Ensconced, at this moment, at the parental unit's secure location, your LakeCountyEye is testing the seaworthiness of a rigid-hulled inflatable raft acquired off eBay -- for a mere drop-in-the-bucket.

LakeCountyEye Ops of a certain age may recall how in 1979 Jane Bryne rode into Chicago City Hall on a snowstorm. And your LakeCountyEye -- always on the lookout for a good political hack -- has been wondering if the same thaumaturgical trick could be performed with a rainstorm. So while waiting for the basement floodwaters to rise, your LakeCountyEye has been surfing the Internets all afternoon for rain-related political stories. A sampling courtesy the Daily Herald ... HawkEyed Operatives might notice that your LakeCountyEye was unable to find any, technically speaking, rain-related political stories. However there were quite a few reign-related hits. (This is a hidden benefit of using a discount, open-source search-engine.)

EagleEyed Operatives might notice that none of the pols quoted in each of the above are speaking to matters of sovereignty. Your LakeCountyEye suspects that rein may have been the intended word. Whether our local politicians are unschooled in telegraphing their talking points to reporters, or whether our local print media rely on discount, open-source grammour checkers is an open question.

Your LakeCountyEye is no grammour-cop and does not wish to lecture on the correct usage of rein, reign & rain. However it's not likely that our local pols are ever going to quit talking to reporters in sound bytes. (Sooner expect a reigny day in London.) So, some LakeCountyEye free advice for the Daily Herald and other local print media: Get it in writing -- e-Mail, Twitter, Text Message, etc. -- before quoting a source in print. This, grammatically speaking, buys you clausible deniability.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Frontier Justice

Your LakeCountyEye makes it a point not to stray too far west of US 12, rather than tempt fate and end up in McHenry County. And whenever on McHenry County soil, your LakeCountyEye makes it a point to maintain as much distance as possible from Grafton Township.

Your LakeCountyEye will not attempt to fill-in the back story on the shenanigans transpiring in Grafton Township. This is McHenry county politics and best left to the experts, like those at the McHenryCountyEye. Suffice it to say, the latest in a series of Grafton antics was recently chronicled in the NorthWest Herald ...
Judge orders restoration of Grafton Township offices
And underscored with a political cartoon, lampooning the Township:

NorthWest Herald
Now, the political badmouthing, backbiting, doubledealing, underhandedness & skullduggery is not what has your LakeCountyEye shying away from Grafton Township. (These are all your LakeCountyEye's stock-in-trade.) But if you look at the paddle in the cartoon, the cobwebs are probably an indication the NorthWest Herald waxes nostalgic for something that was outlawed in Illinois schools back in 1994. Your LakeCountyEye isn't saying the NorthWest Herald favors the reintroduction of corporal punishment. Only that folks seem to be, over in McHenry County, well, trigger-happy. Is it an epidemic of sexual assaults, carjackings and other crimes, that has made McHenry County the Wild Wild West?
McHenry County Sheriff Keith Nygren said other states had seen a reduction in crime after passing "concealed carry" laws. If passed, the law would allow educated gun owners to protect themselves or their loved ones in the face of a potential sexual assault, carjacking or other crime likely to happen before police could respond, Nygren said. "Law-abiding people are not the problem," Nygren said. "And this law puts law-abiding people in a position where they are able to protect themselves until law enforcement gets there."
'Concealed carry' law unlikely
So, a note to LakeCountyEye Operatives: If you do find yourself in McHenry County (for whatever reason), do not panic. Just remember the advice of Woodstock native and McHenry County favorite-son Dick Tracy:
Driving in strange territory?
Avoid back streets and lock your doors.

Dick Tracy
You have to protect yourself until Dick Tracy gets there.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

See You in the Funny Papers

Your LakeCountyEye reported last week that Joe Walsh -- the Tea Party Republican candidate for the Eighth Congressional District -- was cleverly accruing earned media courtesy the comic strip Dick Tracy.
Sent Up by Dick Tracy
Walsh is to periodically appear in Dick Tracy as guest super-villain, The Mad Hatter. Your LakeCountyEye spotted a pantone Walsh in the today's Sunday comics.
Joe Walsh, as seen ...
... in Dick Tracy... in 3D
EagleEyed Operatives may notice that the panel is not much more than a color copy of a panel that appeared in Dick Tracy last Thursday.
Your LakeCountyEye roundly disapproves of this all too common sort of lazy cartooning.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Mark Kirk Jumps Shark

If there was a reason why Mark Kirk told reporters this week that he was rescued from Lake Michigan in 1975 by the Coast Guard ...
Brush with death helps Kirk explain opposition to Coast Guard cuts
... it may be because this week the 10th District Congressman jumped the shark.

Kirk, who is now running for US Senate, has been attracting attention from the national media, and your LakeCountyEye had been keeping score. In FMF increments -- Fifteen Minutes of Fame ...
But as it was said on What's My Line, it's time to turn over the cards. Kirk's string of campaign flip-flops have not only gotten him MSM exposure, but Kirk is now even being regarded on the Cable News shows as the emblematic Republican candidate ...

Mark Kirk - Flip Flopping on Repeal
With his elevation in status to a November election posterboy, Kirk has indeed jumped the shark to a whole new level -- one that is beyond measuring his fame in 15 minute increments. This is a volatile position for any candidate to be in, and bears watching. Your LakeCountyEye hazards to guess that one or two additional campaign flip-flops, and Mark Kirk will have jumped not only the shark but the dolphin as well.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Sent Up by Dick Tracy

It had been your LakeCountyEye's impression that syndicated crime-detective, Dick Tracy, long ago retired along with Tess Trueheart to some gated golf community in Mesa AZ. So it came as a surprise to discover Dick Tracy still at it, cuffing ne'er-do-wells in the funny pages. Well to be exact, your LakeCountyEye was able to verify Tracy's presence in the Chicago Tribune. Whether of not the comic strip is to be seen in any other daily remains an open question. More remarkable, the author of the comic strip -- Chester Gould -- has been deceased since 1985. Contrary to expectations, this event did not adversely effect his prolific output, although your LakeCountyEye has been told the quality of Dick Tracy has steadily fallen during Gould's post-mortem tenure on the comic strip.

Coincidentally it was also your LakeCountyEye's impression that Joe Walsh -- the Tea Party Republican candidate for the Eighth Congressional District -- had also retired to Mesa. So it was an even greater surprise to discover Walsh appearing today not only in the Tribune but in Dick Tracy!?
Joe Walsh, as seen ...
... in Dick Tracy... in 3D
It is no exaggeration to say your LakeCountyEye did a double-take over the morning double-espresso.

A sucker for a good mystery, your LakeCountyEye made it the day's assignment to engage in some gumshoeing. Pursuing a hunch, Walsh's Dick Tracy walk-on turned out to be no accident. LakeCountyEye Ops of a certain age may recall the 1960s TV series -- Batman -- the same show that featured Cesar Romero cast as the Joker. Back in the day, a cameo spot as Batman villain was a coveted role. Long story short, Joe Walsh will be appearing in Dick Tracy as super-villain The Mad Hatter.

Your LakeCountyEye is not going to attempt to fill in the back-story. Suffice it to say The Mad Hatter goes around fleecing banks by defaulting on loans, or some junk like that. But your LakeCountyEye has to admire Team-Walsh and the earned media obtained for their candidate. It is just this type of creative campaigning that wins elections -- even over and against the long odds!

Nothing Secedes Like Secession

Lake County has caught secession fever! Not to be outdone by recent threats from Palatine, Wheeling and other townships to secede from Cook County, Lake County is planning to secede from Lake County. It's an inviolable rule that every nutty idea from Cook County eventually filters up into Lake County -- and what once was taken seriously only among teabaggers and other local paramilitary organizations is now close to being reality.

The NewsSun has the latest on the County's secession plans ...
County Plans to Go Ahead with Secession Plans
The Daily Herald fills in some of the details ...
Lake County to Lake County: Hasta la Vista
A non-binding resolution working it's way through the county board would effectively dis-incorporate Lake County from Lake County, creating Illinois's newest, and 103rd, county. The resolution originated from within Sheriff Mark Curran's office. "The minute we secede," said a Lake County Sheriff's spokesman, "undocumented workers will no longer be able to locate Lake County using MapQuest."

Some secession details are yet to be worked out. "We haven't settled on a name yet," announced a press release from the office of County Board Chair, Suzi Schmidt. "Our State's Attorney has advised us that there already is a Lincoln County downstate, somewhere. And another governing body has first dibs on Reagan County. We're taking a hard look at calling ourselves Amstutz County right now." State Representative Eddie Washington could not be reached for comment.

The new County was to roughly correspond with Lake County's original boundaries. However County Clerk Willard Helander's office is believed to oppose the prospect of providing voter services to municipalities -- like Buffalo Grove and Island Lake -- that would overlap three or more County jurisdictions. "It's hard enough finding some of these towns on the map, as things stand now," explained a County Clerk employee. Currently there are no pending objections to excluding these municipalities from the new County.

State Senator Terry Link favors the proposal, and your LakeCountyEye has learned that Link is working behind the scenes to be appointed Lieutenant Governor of the new County. Not everyone however supports the proposal. Mark Kirk, the 10th District Congressman, supports its repeal. In a related story, US Senate Candidate Mark Kirk gave the proposal his enthusiastic endorsement.

Long term projects include detaching the new County from the mainland and floating it out into Lake Michigan. Benefits of this plan would include County-wide access to Lake Michigan water. And a free Asian Carp Fish Boil every Friday night. One related item under proposal would be to securely nail down Route 53 on the Cook County side, to provide an access bridge to the mainland. This is widely perceived -- a belief undoubtedly shared by Long Grove Mayor Maria Rodriguez -- to be a necessary step toward seeing the Route 53 extension become a reality. Cost of the project would be minimal. Residents whose property lines abut the new County border will be issued surveying equipment and a circular saw.