Q the Eye/04.21.10

Dear LakeCountyEye,

I'm a Tea Party Patriot who says it's time to take back our county ever since 2009. Last week I agreed to be a Lake County precinct committeeman. I really have 2 questions. One, what is a precinct committeeman? And, two, where can I get some of those Obama+Hitler signs?

A Picture is Worth 1000 Wards

Dear Wards Fail Me,

There has been an undeniable uptick, recently, in the slash & burn politics of demonizing the opposition. This mostly occurs when individuals or groups are unwilling to compromise, and you seem no exception to the rule. These are, no doubt, frustrating times. Communicating successfully with voters is the primary task of a precinct committeeman and giving voice to one's frustrations is difficult & confusing in the best of situations. Luckily there will always be the Nazis to bank on when one needs a universally recognizable semaphore for smearing the other Party.

As reported here last week ...

Secret Stash

Hitlerizing one's political bête noir is a voodoo art best left to the professionals. But having been inundated, for some reason, with requests similar to yours ...

Itteh Bitteh Teah Parteh Committeh

your LakeCountyEye is prepared to go one better and empower you to create camera-ready images of your opponents -- complete with their very own Hitler-mustaches. All you need is some web-smarts plus a printer and you're soon to be denigrating the political opposition like a Goebbels or a Rove.

To begin, familiarize yourself with the All-Purpose Political Demonizer Web Widget™, below. Then on the Internet, find a front-portrait image of your enemy. It does not matter whose image it is -- like the Internet itself, the Demonizer Widget™ does not discriminate. Paste the Internet http address of the image into the box marked URL. Then click the Demonize Me! button. Position the Hitler-mustache over the image where it looks most lifelike. The Move Down number adjusts the distance from the top margin. The Move Right number adjusts the distance from the left margin. And the Size number adjusts the mustache size. Keep tweaking the numbers and clicking Demonize Me!, until you have utterly Hitlerized your victim. When satisfied, send your artwork to your printer.

Your LakeCountyEye suggests pasting the image on your precinct walkcards. You can also print poster sized copies for the next protest confrontation. Or emboss some for your wallet and pass out copies to friends and neighbors.

The Demonizer Widget™ is already pre-set with an example to get you started. Do not hesitate. Click Demonize Me! now and go nuts!

LakeCountyEye Web Widget All-Purpose Political Demonizer™

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ... LakeCountyEye@gMail.com

Itteh Bitteh Teah Parteh Committeh

Back when it was Pres. Bush Jr's finger on the trigger, the Lake County Democrats would count their precinct committeemen on the fingers of one hand. Stray anywhere west of I-94, and you couldn't find a Democratic committeeman to give the finger. Out of desperation the Democrats were crashing Dean For America Meetups to recruit precinct walkers. Your LakeCountyEye could've predicted the sad outcome. Instead of filling their ranks with dedicated ward heelers eager to knock on doors and drag voters to the polls, they got a sorry crew of couch slouchers who were more interested in gathering at flash mobs to whine about George W Bush than participate in anything that approached constructive political action. Lake County Democrats have only recently managed to turn things around, and to their advantage, by replacing their DFA slackers with Rahm's private army of paratroops. Your LakeCountyEye expects the County Dems to be the dominant political player for the foreseeable future.

Now it's the Lake County Republican's turn, who find themselves in the same unenviable spot the Democrats held those few years ago. And to your LakeCountyEye's chagrin, the County Republicans are making the same mistake the Dems made back then, all over again. Of course they'd be ill-advised to attend DFA meetings, but that hasn't stopped the County Republicans from searching for recruits at the moral equivalent of a DFA meeting -- at Tea Party rallies. According to the Chicago Tribune ...

Bob Cook, chairman of the Lake County Republican Party, said his organization was having some difficulty filling vacancies until they reached out to the tea party activists. Now, Cook said, he has filled nearly half of the 60 vacant precinct positions with those who are active in the movement.
Tea partiers rally, plan for bigger role

LakeCountyEye Ops consistently report your typical Tea Party rally is mostly a demographic who believes Pres. Obama is a Muslim from Kenya who wants to confiscate our guns.

Champaign mayor doubts Obama's citizenship

You don't need a calculator to know, that of the County Republican committeemen, a now sizable number are getting their information from FoxNews. Sure, Rumsfeld said you fight with the army you got, not the one you want. Nonetheless, your LakeCountyEye has to wonder just how many doors will Bob Cook's new committeemen knock for his down-ticket candidates? Your Regional Superintendent of Schools yardsigns don't do any good if they're never pulled from the shipping crates.

Cook has perhaps two worst case scenarios to consider:

1. New Tea Party committeemen all stay home in October.
2. New Tea Party committeemen knock on doors in October; inform voters that Obama is the Socialist Antichrist foretold in scripture & that the EndTimes approach.

Well, that's an exaggeration. Worst case scenario would've been if they had recruited the DFA slackers.

Republicans on the Mount

Bean Baggers

Tea Baggers staged a health care protest this weekend outside Congresswoman Melissa Bean's Schaumburg office. Bean has gotten some recent national attention courtesy Michelle Malkin. The protest was organized by FreedomWorks and LaRouchePAC. The crowd was large enough to distract motorists causing a nearby crash. The Daily Herald sent a reporter to cover the event, while observing: Melissa Bean "has not yet decided whether she supports Obama's plan." The Herald fails to mention that President Obama has never actually proposed a specific plan that could either be supported or rejected by legislators. Nor is there a Bill as of yet in Congress. Tis the silly season.

For the true scoop, your LakeCountyEye's special operative worked the crowd of tea baggers and reports a good time was had by all. Ten things overheard:

1) One lump or two?

2) I don't want the government anywhere near my Medicare.

3) Me neither, Mr. Crane.

4) Is this where the line starts to the meth panel?

5) Hello, my name is Pat Brady. Have you ever considered a run for Congress? Excellent health benefits.

6) I am Rowan Atkinson's #1 fan!

7) Have you signed this Melissa Bean nominating petition yet?

8) McSweeney and Greenberg need rides. Anyone?

9) My insurance company won't cover cognitive dissonance.

10) You can give me affordable government health insurance when you pry it from my cold dead fingers.