Sunday, November 28, 2021

Tough Guy

He is a former anti-abortion lobbyist. State Senator Daniel McConchie now wants you to go to jail:
Illegal abortions are guaranteed to be on the rise this year. Dan McConchie says ...
this year rising crime rates will be even deadlier!!

Women who need an illegal abortion brazenly thumb their noses at the law. While McConchie condemns those who ...
work insidiously to lift up the lives of felons and those with no respect for rule of law

Women who receive illegal abortions are criminals who should be kept in jail. And McConchie strongly opposes ...
efforts to allow prisoners to walk out of jail without bail

Lock them up!

Wednesday, November 24, 2021

Turkey Shoot

I'll give you my gun when you pry it from my cold dead turkey.
BREAKING NEWS: Thanksgiving has been cancelled in Lake County.

Armed with an AR-15 military-style assault weapon, the Thanksgiving Turkey this week gunned his way out of the turkey farm.

The Thanksgiving Turkey was subsequently apprehended. But despite being in illegal possession of a lethal firearm, and despite admitting to the use of deadly force, a jury acquitted the Thanksgiving Turkey of all charges.

One jury spokesman said it was a clear-cut case of self-defense.

The whereabouts of the Thanksgiving Turkey is currently unknown.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Saturday, November 20, 2021

High on the Tokin' Poll

Buy Low, Sell High
Heads up. Is one marijuana joint enough for the Village of Lake Zurich? Maybe not:
Just two weeks after Lake Zurich leaders voted to allow the village's first marijuana dispensary, a new group pitched a plan to build the second.
The Village of Lake Zurich hears plan for second marijuana dispensary
By the same token, it looks like the Village of Lake Zurich might be on a roll. Village approval ratings are flying higher than a kite:
The village of Lake Zurich was given its highest marks yet in several categories by residents participating in the biannual community survey, with 96% of respondents rating their town as a good or excellent place to live.
Lake Zurich receives high marks from residents in community survey
What possibly explains a 96% approval rating?  Your LakeCountyEye obtained a copy of the survey to find out what residents are saying about the Village of Lake Zurich. All ten of them:
10 Most Frequently Heard Responses
to the Lake Zurich Community Survey
  1. Totally Awesome

  2. Rad

  3. Cowabunga

  4. Gnarly

  5. Most Excellent

  6. Primo

  7. Bitchin

  8. Tubuler
  9. 5 Yelps  

  10. Da Bomb
That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Smoke'em if ya got'em.

Monday, November 15, 2021

When the Going Gets Tough the TIF Get Going

the gift that keeps on giving
Note to Ops: Cue the snow. Santa Claus is coming to Lake County:
Santa will jump-start the holiday season when he arrives via firetruck Saturday night at the Deer Park Town Center. His visit coincides with the annual tree-lighting and fireworks display.
Santa's on his way to Deer Park
What is hiding in Santa's sleigh-full of gifts? A TIF district for Deer Park:
Deer Park officials may create a special taxing district to raise money for public improvements and to encourage development in its part of the Rand Road commercial corridor.
Deer Park weighing special taxing district on Rand Road to boost development
A spokes-elf issued a statement from the North Pole: "Santa made a list and checked it twice. All you naughty Deer Park schools, libraries and parks are getting a lump of coal this year."

Thursday, November 11, 2021

Creeping Stagnation

An actual unretouched screengrab from the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source:
"Number of teachers pledging to teach Critical Race Theory in Fox Lake stagnates at one"

In related news, the number of journalistic ethics observed at the Lake County Gazette dissipates to zero.

Saturday, November 6, 2021

Explosive Material

Boom Boom Boom Boom / I'm gonna shoot you right down / Right off your feet / Take you home with me / Boom Boom Boom Boom
The Lake County exploding oil train did not explode. And the Lake County ethylene-oxide cloud did not explode either. Nor, for that matter, did the Lake County nuclear plant, nor the Lake County mosquito abatement truck.

So, what did explode in Lake County last week?
There is no question many northern Lake County residents either heard or felt something Friday afternoon. But what it was remains a mystery. At about 3:30 p.m., emergency dispatch centers began getting reports of what sounded like a large explosion.
'It sounded like a bomb going off': Loud boom heard Friday in Lake County remains a mystery
Note to Ops: Has anyone seen Kyle Rittenhouse's ammo dump?

Tuesday, November 2, 2021

Laughter is the Best Medicine

The enervated theocrats at the McHenryCountyBlog are blaming the Democrats for the high cost of Medicare prescription drugs:
Note to Ops: Cognitive impairment can strike anywhere, at any time. If your prescriptions are too expensive, try this over-the-counter remedy:
Did you know Prevagen is made from jellyfish?