Wednesday, June 12, 2024

Water Pipes

This is not a tooltip.
Note to Ops: Satire is like clean drinking water. Not everybody gets it.

Everyone in Lake County will be getting it, with some help from the Environmental Protection Agency:
Waukegan and North Chicago both plan to take advantage of more than $240 million the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) gave to the Illinois EPA (IEPA) in May for lead pipe replacement as part of President Joe Biden's Investing in America agenda.
Lake Co. cities seeking funds for pipe replacement
A spokesman for the Mundelein cannabis festival said: "The federal government wants to give us new pipes? Most excellent!"

When it was pointed out that the money was for lead pipes, the spokesman said: "So, what's your point?"

Saturday, June 8, 2024

Where's a Farmer When You Need One?

That feeling of deja vu that you have may not be some recurring condition. That's because, once again, backbench State Rep Martin McLaughlin showed up on the Lake County Gazette:
The article with McLaughlin's picture relays a USDA report about farming conditions in Illinois. If McLaughlin is a farmer, he is not wearing his bib overalls. Or his John Deere hat. Or a piece of straw dangling between his teeth. In fact there is no mention of McLaughlin in the article. Or anyone named Martin, for that matter.

But if you GOOGLE the Lake County Gazette for positive USDA forecast, you will get a picture of backbench State Rep Martin McLaughlin.

HaHa. Psych!

Tuesday, June 4, 2024

Urban Bestrewal

building boom
Question of the day: What did the satirist say to the Village of Fox River Grove?

Answer: "It's easier to tear down than build up."

There is a towering hole along historic Rte 14, now, where there once had been a city block:
As a block of buildings in downtown Fox River Grove are demolished into a grassy lot, village officials are in talks with multiple developers to create a new downtown.
Demolition of downtown Fox River Grove block nears completion
Village has several developers interested in the vacant land, officials say
So, what's on tap to sprout up from the smoldering ashes? Nobody knows:
The village is currently in talks with "several developers," but no agreements have been made, yet
Demolition of downtown Fox River Grove block nears completion
Village has several developers interested in the vacant land, officials say
One spokesman for somebody in particular said: "We can always turn the property into a golf course. With a hole that big on the first tee, every golfer is guaranteed to break par."