Monday, October 21, 2024
Friday, October 18, 2024
Some Big Bucks
Perhaps in lockstep with Vladimir Putin, the Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist™ doggedly pursues his war of attrition against the African black rhinoceros:
For the record, the national debt increased nearly $8 trillion during the Trump years:
Does the Creepy Tribune Cartoonist™ harbor some secret animosity toward critically endangered African megafauna? Or is this just a manifestation of a bankrupt imagination with an infusion of some lazy cartooning?
For the record, the national debt increased nearly $8 trillion during the Trump years:
And the elephant is still an endangered species. Just sayin!
Sunday, October 13, 2024
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
An actual unretouched screencap from the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source:
Confused? Well this may explain the funny numbers: The Lake County Gazette has also reported that 556 Lake County students failed the math portion of their SAT exams:
Confused? Well this may explain the funny numbers: The Lake County Gazette has also reported that 556 Lake County students failed the math portion of their SAT exams:
Making Up the GradeThere is good news. Of those 556 students, no fewer than 1140 have been accepted to law school.
Wednesday, October 9, 2024
Making Up the Grade
Boy oh boy, Lake County students are a bunch of knuckleheads. How unintelligent are they? Lake County students are so unintelligent they even fail their IQ tests!
Impossible you say? Because IQ tests (like, say, the SAT exam) measure aptitude, and concepts like pass and fail do not apply. Well, not according to the Lake County Gazette:
In America you take the SAT exam. In Russia, the SAT exam takes Ukraine!
Impossible you say? Because IQ tests (like, say, the SAT exam) measure aptitude, and concepts like pass and fail do not apply. Well, not according to the Lake County Gazette:
It goes without saying that the Lake County Gazette is Lake County's #1 fakenews source. All of the content in the Lake County Gazette comes direct from Russian troll farms, and delivered fresh to your table every day.
In America you take the SAT exam. In Russia, the SAT exam takes Ukraine!
Friday, October 4, 2024
Secret Organization
He may be yesterday's news, but the facts have not changed: Mark Robinson (the self-described black Nazi perv) had been invited to speak in Lake County by the Tenth Congressional District Republican Organization:
They're unanimous -- nobody knows what the Tenth Congressional District Republican Organization is.
Vox populi, vox Dei.
Controversial North Carolina Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson has pulled the plug on a much-criticized speaking appearance at a GOP fundraiser, according to the Tenth Congressional District Republican Organization's website.And yet one disturbing question remains, still unanswered:
Robinson won't speak at local GOP event amid latest firestorm
What could possibly be the Tenth Congressional District Republican Organization?Does anyone know? To find out, your LakeCountyEye asked the man-in-the-street:
They're unanimous -- nobody knows what the Tenth Congressional District Republican Organization is.
Vox populi, vox Dei.
Monday, September 30, 2024
Next of Quinn
When Martin McLaughlin uses the words career politician he means them as an insult. This from McLaughlin's website ...
Who is Martin McLaughlin? McLaughlin is ... wait for it ... another career politician. This from McLaughlin's Wikipedia page:
Note to Ops: Someone who's been in politics as long as Martin McLaughlin is going to know all the tricks of the trade.
Thursday, September 26, 2024
Office Copy
Note to Ops: Have you been moping and are all like ...
Go to the IMDb and download a still from the classic motion picture The Apartment:
Put some tracing paper over the image:
And voila, anybody, even you, can be a political cartoonist!
"It's late September and I really should be back atIf you have, well brood no longer. In this semester of the LakeCountyEye MasterClass™ you will learn how to draw in the style of the Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist™:schoolmy LakeCountyEye MasterClass™"?
Go to the IMDb and download a still from the classic motion picture The Apartment:
Put some tracing paper over the image:
Trace the outline of a few desks, then add Jack Lemmon:
And voila, anybody, even you, can be a political cartoonist!
Sunday, September 22, 2024
Where have you gone, Mr Robinson?
Did you hear the one about the exhibitionist who was a no-show at the local GOP fundraiser? HaHa, hang up your raincoats, the GOP black Nazi perv guy will not be coming to Lake County:
Controversial North Carolina Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson has pulled the plug on a much-criticized speaking appearance at a GOP fundraiser, according to the Tenth Congressional District Republican Organization's website.Tickets however for the fundraiser are still available, either stag or with a date:
Amid pushback, controversial nominee for NC governor Mark Robinson cancels appearance at North Shore GOP fundraiser
It is not known if that is cash-only.
Friday, September 20, 2024
What's that you say, Mr Robinson?
Note to Ops: Pop open the lubricant. Here is your chance to rub elbows with the black Nazi guy:
Who is the black Nazi guy? He is also known as the slavery is good guy. Or as the Nude Africa guy. Or as the I just wanna see the sex tape guy.
Whoever he is, he will be headlining a fundraiser for some local GOP organizations. If you attend, don't neglect to pay some respect to your host, Mark Shaw Who is also known as the couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
Who is the black Nazi guy? He is also known as the slavery is good guy. Or as the Nude Africa guy. Or as the I just wanna see the sex tape guy.
Whoever he is, he will be headlining a fundraiser for some local GOP organizations. If you attend, don't neglect to pay some respect to your host, Mark Shaw Who is also known as the couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
Tuesday, September 17, 2024
Pipe Down
A man with a banana in his ear walked into the Mundelein outdoor cannabis festival. Someone said "Excuse me, do you know there is a banana in your ear?" The man replied "What did you say?" Someone else said "Why is a banana in your ear?" The man replied "What?" Someone else said "There is a banana in your ear!" The man replied "I'm sorry, I can't hear you. The music is too loud."
HaHa, true story. Loud music from the Mundelein cannabis festival has resulted in complaints being lodged at city-hall:
HaHa, true story. Loud music from the Mundelein cannabis festival has resulted in complaints being lodged at city-hall:
The people who spoke about the concert during the public comment section of Monday's board meeting live in the Lakewood Village neighborhood near the dispensary. They primarily complained about noise, saying it went on late into the night.To be sure, any open-air marijuana fest is going to make a stink with some neighbors. But when that stink is over the live music, then you have a problem. One showbiz insider suggests hiring (Lake County favorite son) Ted Nugent next year: "Sure, Ted Nugent is going to play loud, but nobody listens to him any more."
Mundelein residents complain about concert at dispensary
Thursday, September 12, 2024
Run and Take the Money
Note to Ops, dust off your alms chests:
$72 million (a ton of dough by anyone's estimation) would make for a nice down payment on someone's dream. In Lake County, ten of them at the very least:
The nearly $72 million a Lake Forest billionaire and his wife have contributed to federal candidates and groups this election cycle is significantly greater than any other Illinoisans' donations, data from an independent research group shows. The total makes Republican benefactors Richard and Elizabeth Uihlein the nation's third-most prolific campaign donorsLake County moneybags Richard Uihlein has given $72,000,000 to Federal candidates. How much of that money will be spent in Lake County? None. That's because Lake County does not have any Federal Candidates. Well, no GOP Federal candidates to speak of.
Who are the top federal campaign donors from Illinois?
$72 million (a ton of dough by anyone's estimation) would make for a nice down payment on someone's dream. In Lake County, ten of them at the very least:
Look for your LakeCountyEye at an ATM machine near you.
10 Things $72,000,000 Will Get You in Lake County
- 86-ft doobie at the Mundelein cannabis fest.
- Hire a troll to guard the Long Grove bridge.
- Add a passing lane to the new Waukegan Airport runway.
- 1,440,000,000 nickel slot pulls at the Waukegan Casino.
- Two Words: Pickleball Palooza
- Binge-buy your way thru the ULINE catalog.
- Build that big border wall down Lake-Cook Rd.
- Bet it all on bitcoin.
- Some health insurance for your backyard chickens.
- Turn Lake County red.
Saturday, September 7, 2024
Monday, September 2, 2024
Where's Waldo?
What is wrong with this picture?
WTH? Everyone knows that the Lake County Gazette is Lake County's #1 fakenews source, where its stories are randomly generated by news-bots. And everyone knows that these random stories come illustrated with a picture of Lake County backbench state rep Martin McLaughlin. (Why? Because Lake County Gazette.)
This particular story is about who practices law in Lake County. While the guy in the picture, for all your Lake County Eye knows, has never been in Lake County.
A media spokesman for the media said: "OK, that's not Martin McLaughlin. But it is a picture of some middle-aged white guy. Who's going to know the difference?"
Sharpeyed operatives will recognize a Lake County Gazette story. And they will recognize the picture of Martin McLaughlin. Except the picture is not Martin McLaughlin. No, that is a picture of a Peoria Park District Trustee. As in Peoria County, Illinois.
WTH? Everyone knows that the Lake County Gazette is Lake County's #1 fakenews source, where its stories are randomly generated by news-bots. And everyone knows that these random stories come illustrated with a picture of Lake County backbench state rep Martin McLaughlin. (Why? Because Lake County Gazette.)
This particular story is about who practices law in Lake County. While the guy in the picture, for all your Lake County Eye knows, has never been in Lake County.
A media spokesman for the media said: "OK, that's not Martin McLaughlin. But it is a picture of some middle-aged white guy. Who's going to know the difference?"
Wednesday, August 28, 2024
It's Gonna Be YUGE
The Creepy Chicago Tribune Cartoonist™ drew a cartoon about the Federal deficit. Naturally enough, for a symbol he chose a species of African mega-fauna:
A better symbol would be Donald J Trump -- the largest Ex-President since William Howard Taft. Trump weighs in at a whopping 322 pounds, which has been steadily increasing since his inauguration in 2017:
Both the black rhinoceros and the white rhinoceros are critically endangered species. Their numbers are shrinking, with fewer than 20,000 to be found in the wild. Using a rhinoceros to symbolize an expanding Federal deficit would just seem to be lazy cartooning. But then again, the Creepy Chicago Tribune Cartoonist™.
A better symbol would be Donald J Trump -- the largest Ex-President since William Howard Taft. Trump weighs in at a whopping 322 pounds, which has been steadily increasing since his inauguration in 2017:
Just Sayin!
Friday, August 23, 2024
A Keen Grasp of the Obvious
An actual unretouched screen capture from the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source:
In related news, Lake County doesn't have any women's collegiate football teams.
In other related news, Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.
One thing should be crystal clear, the Lake County Gazette is reporting that Lake County did not fund their women's collegiate football teams in 2023.
In related news, Lake County doesn't have any women's collegiate football teams.
In other related news, Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.
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