No Great Shakes

Lake County bowling scores were higher than normal last week. There was an earthquake:

A mild earthquake occurred off the shore of the northern suburbs Wednesday afternoon, officials said. A 2.9 magnitude earthquake was recorded in Lake Michigan near the Illinois-Wisconsin border
Mild earthquake reported in Lake Michigan off the shore of northern suburbs, officials say

In related news, two cows escaped from their Lake County dairy farm:

A pair of cows that wandered away from their home and were found "chilling" in a parking lot in central Lake County were reunited with their owner
'No bull': Lake County sheriff's deputies find wayward cows

Lake County milkshake consumption was higher than normal last week.

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Shake a leg.

Dopes Spring Eternal

Question of the Day: What is a Rope-a-Dope?

	Coined by Muhammad Ali in 1974, "rope-a-dope" is a defensive strategy where a boxer leans against the ropes. By covering up and allowing the opponent to repeatedly throw tiring, non-injuring punches, the defender saves their own energy. Once the attacker exhausts themselves, the defender strikes back to secure a victory.
	The Ayatollahs of Iran VS Donald J Trump

And speaking of dope, Chief Keef is back:

Chief Keef Will Perform In Chicago For 1st Time In 14 Years With Show At Northerly Island

Sadly, Lake County GOP favorite son Chief Keef will not be performing in Lake County. Nonetheless the Lake County GOP has extended an open invitation to Chief Keef -- he is welcome to visit Lake County at any time. A Lake County GOP spokesman said: "We need to remind the voters about all of the drug dealers south of the border that are coming up into Lake County."

Sounds of Summer Concert – Billy Elton

Sounds of Summer Concert – Billy Elton (FREE)

A Back of the Envelope Donation

Question of the Day: When does $50 million get you only a 6th place finish?

Is it when a President Trump bribes FIFA to bend the rules and then the USA team immediately gets beat by 5th place Belgium? No, the correct answer is when that $50 million only puts you in 6th place behind the country's other political mega-donors:

Meet the megadonors pouring more than $1.3 billion into the 2026 election

Lake County moneybags Richard & Elizabeth Uihlein have been observed pouring gobs of green into right-wing coffers. One would naturally assume good times are on the horizon for the Republican Party in Lake County. But despite giving more than $50 million this election cycle, the last donation the Uihleins made to the Lake County GOP was in 2024, and which amounted to a miserly $1050. And that wasn't even cash -- it was for office supplies:

To put that in perspective, $1050 worth of office supplies would not even fill a returned-merchandise dumpster at Uline.

A spokesman for the Lake County GOP said: "We asked the Uihleins for a donation and they sent us packing peanuts."

Celebrity Apparition

Every year, to kickoff the Summer, Lake County unites to celebrate the birthday of model/actress Linda Morand:

Who is Linda Morand? Nobody knows.

The Lake County Gazette says Morand was born here in Lindenhurst. For the sake of accuracy however, "here" needs to refer to Lindenhurst, Long Island, which is in the State of New York:

A spokesman for the Lake County Gazette (Lake County's #1 fakenews source) said: "Close enough for anti-government propaganda work."

Dualing Typos

An actual unretouched screencap from the Chicago Tribune, the Midwest's newspaper of record:

In related news, the Chicago Tribune has purchased the Daily Harold:

Tribune Publishing completes purchase of Daily Herald, adding the suburban newspaper to its Chicago portfolio

A spokesman for the Lake County Gazette Lake County's #1 fakenews source said: "Please insert your own AI news-bot joke here."

America 250th Celebration

America 250th Celebration

Miscast

Luca Brasi, legendary mob enforcer, has died. And no, your LakeCountyEye is not talking a Trump administration functionary. Your LakeCountyEye is talking about Godfather Part 1 actor Lenny Montana. You can read about it in the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source:

Do not bother sending condolences. The actor died in 1992.

So why is the Lake County Gazette featuring a story about a New York actor who died more than 30 years ago? Maybe because he died in Lindenhurst.

Lindenhurst, Long Island -- in the State of New York, to be exact:

It's no secret that the content you see in the Lake County Gazette is generated by Russian AI bots. When asked how a Godfather actor could be misidentified as a Lindenhurst resident, one AI bot said: "It's not personal, it's strictly business."

Sounds of Summer Concert – Disco Circus

Sounds of Summer Concert – Disco Circus

No Contests

Perennial gubernatorial candidate Darren Bailey has filed legal paperwork to knock his opponent Collin Corbett off of the ballot. Typically a political campaign does not want to be associated with embarrassing legal tricks such as these. To maintain a veneer of anonymity, a campaign will recruit a citizen stooge to file the paperwork for them. But in the case of the Bailey campaign, that citizen stooge is Lieutenant Governor candidate Aaron Del Mar:

The Bailey campaign's objection in the governor's race to Corbett was filed with the State Board of Elections by the Republican's running mate, Aaron Del Mar
Illinois GOP governor nominee Darren Bailey seeks to block independent from Nov. 3 ballot

Does this mean that support for the Bailey campaign is so thin that they were unable to find someone outside of their ranks to do their legal dirtywork? No, more likely, this simply means that no one knows who Aaron Del Mar is, and he was just as good a choice as anyone.

In related news, more than half of the Democratic candidates in Lake County are running unopposed:

Of the 31 contests for the Illinois General Assembly, countywide positions, the Lake County Board seats and the North Shore Water Reclamation District, 16 are unopposed
Nearly half of Lake County candidates running in November election face no opponent

A spokesman for the Lake County GOP said: "This is part of our national strategy to suppress the vote. If we knock every candidate off of the ballot and if we don't run any candidates of our own, then the voter has no reason to go to the polls in November."

Who's Your Data

Did you hear the one about the data farm that put cow chips in all of the computers? It wanted to produce AI-slop.

HaHa. Will Grayslake be the site of Lake County's first data center? Maybe not:

The development of the Grayslake T5 data center could soon face a legal challenge after a local opposition group issued a litigation hold against the village.
Legal challenge to Grayslake data center project likely: 'The juice isn't worth the squeeze'

With a nearby data center sucking up all of your ground water and electricity what's to hate?

Coming up next: The Waukegan Airport annexes data center in Grayslake.

Bailey Out

The Lake County GOP had their opportunity last week to see honorary Lake County Governor Darren Bailey in honorary Lake County village South Barrington.  That is, until the crooked judicial system intervened:

A political dinner that was scheduled for Thursday in the northwest suburbs to benefit Republican governor candidate Darren Bailey was postponed after the Tribune raised questions about whether the event complied with a 4-year-old Illinois law prohibiting candidates from holding fundraisers anywhere in the state when the legislature is in session in Springfield.
Fundraiser for Illinois GOP governor candidate Darren Bailey delayed after Tribune raised ethics law questions

Bailey was caught red handed violating a statute -- one he voted for as a legislator -- that prohibits campaign fundraising when the legislature is in session:

The Barrington Township Republican Organization had invited supporters in an online advertisement to "a very private dinner" Thursday at a South Barrington restaurant with Bailey and running mate Aaron Del Mar. The $500-per-plate dinner, limited to 25 seats, would have been "paid for by the BTRO with all NET proceeds from dinner benefiting Bailey for Illinois".
Fundraiser for Illinois GOP governor candidate Darren Bailey delayed after Tribune raised ethics law questions

This comes after Bailey had violated the same law by holding a fundraiser in Joliet:

GOP governor candidate Darren Bailey held fundraiser on legislative session day in apparent violation of ban

How extensive is Bailey's ignorance of campaign finance law? Bailey recently held a fundraiser in the Broadview Six grand jury room -- and while US Attorney Andrew Boutros was improperly influencing that same grand jury:

U.S. attorney acknowledges speech to ‘Broadview 6’ grand jury as calls for his resignation mount

Coming up: You are cordially invited to a fundraiser to benefit Darren Bailey. Address to be provided by the Nuclear Power Agency of Iran.

Air of Confusion

The tinfoil theocrats at the McHenry County Blog are fuming. They are fuming over leaf burning. Leaf burning creates air pollution and air pollution makes people with respiratory ailments suffer:

Oh for the days after Republican Governor Richard B. Ogilvie signed legislation preventing open burning.
Where McHenry County Allows Those with Asthma To Suffer

There was a time, back in the day, when leaf burning was banned:

That was when we could sleep with our windows open.
Richmond Leaf Vacuuming Making Me Envious Again on Friday

They are also fuming over something else -- mosquito spraying. They are fuming because their municipality is -- wait for it -- not polluting the air with insecticides:

The mosquito abatement of unincorporated areas in Algonquin Township, but not in municipalities has been a pet peeve of mine for years. Why should those living outside municipalities get spraying, but not my neighborhood in Lakewood?
Algonquin Township Board Considering Cessation of Mosquito Spraying in Unincorporated Areas

Note to Ops: Repeated exposure to compromised air may lead to long-term cognitive impairment. In related news, the weather man says when in McHenry County to watch out for dense brain fog.

May Newsletter from the Lake County Clerk's Office

May Newsletter from the Lake County Clerk's Office

Agents of Shields

Here's the setup: Township trustees are poorly compensated, therefore it is often difficult to fill township seats. This is where local businesses see their opportunity. Just pack those seats with trustees who will vote for township projects that benefit local businesses. What could go wrong?

HaHa, it's called the Annual Township Meeting -- where once a year in April, the reins of township government are handed over to the voters:

In a well-attended Shields Township meeting last month, residents voted "overwhelmingly" to strip Shields of the ability to purchase, sell or lease property, according to township staff.
Residents strip Shields Township of leasing power: 'The public made their point'

It's looking like Shields Township won't be making any capital expenditures, at least before the courts sort everything out. One local businessman told your LakeCountyEye: "We might as well just abolish township government, if it can't be relied on any more to spread around the wealth."

Next Week: Townships are required to maintain public cemeteries -- while "cemetery vote" refers to deceased people who show up at the polls. Coincidence?