Run and Take the Money

Note to Ops, dust off your alms chests:

The nearly $72 million a Lake Forest billionaire and his wife have contributed to federal candidates and groups this election cycle is significantly greater than any other Illinoisans' donations, data from an independent research group shows. The total makes Republican benefactors Richard and Elizabeth Uihlein the nation's third-most prolific campaign donors
Who are the top federal campaign donors from Illinois?

Lake County moneybags Richard Uihlein has given $72,000,000 to Federal candidates. How much of that money will be spent in Lake County? None. That's because Lake County does not have any Federal Candidates. Well, no GOP Federal candidates to speak of.

$72 million (a ton of dough by anyone's estimation) would make for a nice down payment on someone's dream. In Lake County, ten of them at the very least:

10 Things $72,000,000 Will Get You in Lake County

86-ft doobie at the Mundelein cannabis fest. Hire a troll to guard the Long Grove bridge. Add a passing lane to the new Waukegan Airport runway. 1,440,000,000 nickel slot pulls at the Waukegan Casino. Two Words: Pickleball Palooza Binge-buy your way thru the ULINE catalog. Build that big border wall down Lake-Cook Rd. Bet it all on bitcoin. Some health insurance for your backyard chickens. Turn Lake County red.

Look for your LakeCountyEye at an ATM machine near you.

Bonfire & Brews

Bonfire & Brews: A Taste of Gurnee

Where's Waldo?

What is wrong with this picture?

Sharpeyed operatives will recognize a Lake County Gazette story. And they will recognize the picture of Martin McLaughlin. Except the picture is not Martin McLaughlin. No, that is a picture of a Peoria Park District Trustee. As in Peoria County, Illinois.

WTH? Everyone knows that the Lake County Gazette is Lake County's #1 fakenews source, where its stories are randomly generated by news-bots. And everyone knows that these random stories come illustrated with a picture of Lake County backbench state rep Martin McLaughlin. (Why? Because Lake County Gazette.)

This particular story is about who practices law in Lake County. While the guy in the picture, for all your Lake County Eye knows, has never been in Lake County.

A media spokesman for the media said: "OK, that's not Martin McLaughlin. But it is a picture of some middle-aged white guy. Who's going to know the difference?"

It's Gonna Be YUGE

The Creepy Chicago Tribune Cartoonist™ drew a cartoon about the Federal deficit. Naturally enough, for a symbol he chose a species of African mega-fauna:

I Got Next

Both the black rhinoceros and the white rhinoceros are critically endangered species. Their numbers are shrinking, with fewer than 20,000 to be found in the wild. Using a rhinoceros to symbolize an expanding Federal deficit would just seem to be lazy cartooning. But then again, the Creepy Chicago Tribune Cartoonist™.

A better symbol would be Donald J Trump -- the largest Ex-President since William Howard Taft. Trump weighs in at a whopping 322 pounds, which has been steadily increasing since his inauguration in 2017:

Just Sayin!

A Keen Grasp of the Obvious

An actual unretouched screen capture from the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source:

One thing should be crystal clear, the Lake County Gazette is reporting that Lake County did not fund their women's collegiate football teams in 2023.

In related news, Lake County doesn't have any women's collegiate football teams.

In other related news, Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.

Cartoon Violence

Overheard at a meeting of the Vernon Township Republicans: "See you in the funny papers."

All kidding aside, people who read the comics section of the Vernon Township GOP newsletter are not laughing:

The two-panel cartoon, which the group published this month in an electronic newsletter, depicts a visibly injured woman wearing a "Vote Blue" T-shirt telling an anthropomorphic donkey with tattoos reading "war," "open border" "crime" and more that she won't leave him "as long as I can have abortions." Officials from both parties blasted the cartoon and the group for publishing it.
'A lapse in judgment': Cartoon in GOP newsletter bashed by suburban Democrats and Republicans

Naturally enough, doing what Donald Trump would do, the Vernon Township Republicans doubled down on their toxic cartoon. HaHa, j/k:

Vernon Township Republican organization officials on Wednesday called their publication of a much-criticized political cartoon that made light of domestic violence "a lapse in judgment."
'A lapse in judgment': Cartoon in GOP newsletter bashed by suburban Democrats and Republicans

Note to Ops: Don't let cancel culture harsh your mellow. Look for the bleeped cartoon at your next GOP barbecue and gun raffle ...

If the toon fits, wear it!

Tax Racket

Have you been tricked by a property tax scam? If so, your payment is due. The Lake County Gazette says a fraudulent tax bill may arrive in your mailbox:

Sharpeyed operatives will recognize the picture of backbench state rep Martin McLaughlin. And while it is unlikely that McLaughlin is involved in a property tax scan, either as a victim or a perpetrator, nothing is known for certain -- because Martin McLaughlin is actually mentioned nowhere in the Lake County Gazette story.

A spokesman of unimpeccable provenance said: "No one reads the Lake County Gazette anyways. We could have used a picture of Foghorn Leghorn and no one would have known any difference. Plus, we can use McLaughlin's photo for free."

Gurnee Days 2024

Gurnee Days 2024

You Say Kamala, I Say Kamala

It looks like Joe Walsh won't be ordering the white cheddar cheeseburger up to a suite in the Trump Tower Chicago any time soon. Lake County GOP favorite son Joe Walsh is a Republican for Harris:

Prominent Illinois Republicans throw support behind Kamala Harris

In related news, the new chair to the Illinois Republican Party is Lake County GOP favorite son Kathy Salvi.

Note to Ops: Don't expect to see Walsh at the next Lake County GOP unity brunch & gun raffle.

National Poll Worker Recruitment Day

National Poll Worker Recruitment Day

Creative License

Are you suffering from memory loss, poor coordination, attention deficiency? Well, the Illinois Department of Financial and Professional Regulation has your back. Hey, all you cannabis dispensary owners, it's high time you got around to renewing your licenses. The details are in the Lake County Gazette:

Sharpeyed operatives will recognize the picture of backbench Lake County State Rep Martin McLaughlin. McLaughlin is not mentioned anywhere in the Lake County Gazette story. And while he most likely does not have a license to sell cannabis, Martin McLaughlin does have the look of a Donald Trump Vice Presidential running mate -- aka a license to steal. A license to steal the hearts of all the childless cat ladies!

Chicago Tribute Band

Sounds of Summer – Chicago Tribute Band

The Rich are Different from You and Me

Dust off your slide rules, today's pop quiz will test your math skills.

Q: A billion here and a billion there and pretty soon you're talking what?

A: Two billion.

HaHa, honorary Lake County Republican and US Rep Darin LaHood said this somewhere, to someone:

"If Governor Pritzker didn't have a billion dollars, he wouldn't be in office right now."
Illinois GOP delegation confident of Trump win

He was then asked: If Donald Trump didn't have a billion dollars, would he be running for office right now? Then someone, somewhere else said: "You're pushing a false equivalency. That grifter Trump doesn't have even two nickels to call his own."

The Jabberwocky in Milwaukee

That giant sucking sound you heard came from all of the Lake County Trump delegates going north over border. The GOP national convention this year is in Milwaukee, that horrible city^®.

Lake County GOP favorite son Mark Shaw said:

"as (former President) Ronald Reagan asked, we'll say, 'Are you better off than you were four years ago?'"
Lake County delegates looking forward to again nominating Trump at GOP convention

Then Lake County GOP favorite son Craig Wilcox said:

"Most people know they were in a much better place 3½ years ago than they are today."
Lake County delegates looking forward to again nominating Trump at GOP convention

In related news: Are you experiencing brain-fog? That may be a symptom of Long COVID. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat old predictable slogans.

More Guns

When is the next Lake County gun raffle? August 8, which is just around the corner:

"Do your part to help preserve your Second Amendment Rights."