School's Out

Did you hear the one about the student who dreamed one night he had to take the ACT college entrance exam? But in the dream he didn't know where to go -- he couldn't remember the name of the school or where it was.

No? Well, you can read all about it in the Lake County Gazette:

School announces ACT and Pre-ACT testing schedule

Starting tomorrow, Tuesday, April 15th, students will begin either ACT or Pre-ACT testing. Students will follow the schedule below:

- Tuesday, April 15th: Juniors will take the online version of the ACT. Testing begins at 8 AM and dismissal is at 1 PM.

- Wednesday, April 16th: Sophomores will take the online version of the Pre-ACT. Testing begins at 8 AM with dismissal at 12:00 PM.

- Thursday, April 17th: Freshmen will take the online version of the Pre-ACT. Testing begins at 8 AM with dismissal at 12:00 PM.

Students will not attend on days they are not testing. Late arrivals cannot be admitted to testing; therefore, timely arrival is essential. Morning buses will run on their regular schedules. Students need to bring a charged Chromebook, calculator, and pencil on their test day. Those with alternative schedules due to accommodations have already been notified. Grab-and-go lunches are available each day.

For the record, the Lake County Gazette is Lake County's most dependable fakenews source. Its content is always imported, fresh and direct from Russian troll farms.

This has been confirmed by one GOP insider who told your LakeCountyEye: "Save yourself $100 and have your kid to skip the ACT Test. Once Trump defunds all of the universities, there won't be any 4-year colleges left anywhere in the country."

Viking Park Community Meeting

Viking Park Community Meeting

The Unidentified Lending Library

Of the public libraries in Lake County, not one can hold a candle to the Unidentified Lending Library. The Unidentified Lending Library of Lake County has no name. It has no address. It has books, and all were ghosted.

HaHa, readers of this blog first encountered the Unidentified Lending Library in the pages of the Lake County Gazette:

You Know My Name (Look Up the ISBN)

And the Lake County Gazette (Lake County's #1 fakenews source) now has more riveting news to report on the state of the Unidentified Lending Library:

Library transitions to new book vendor

The library has announced a transition to a new book vendor, aiming to streamline the ordering process and ensure quicker and more reliable arrival of new materials.

The library expressed gratitude towards its community for their patience during this transitional phase. "We appreciate the patience and understanding of our community as we make this change," said the library's statement.

The new vendor is expected to improve service delivery significantly. "Thank you for your continued support as we work to enhance our services," the statement added.

Patrons experiencing delays or having questions are encouraged to contact the library for assistance.

For the record, the Lake County Gazette imports its content direct from Russian bot farms. And the facts all speak for themselves!

I Got the Tariff

So a guy walked into a Tesla dealer. The salesman showed him some cars but the guy was skeptical. He didn't believe a car could run on battery power alone. The salesman asked if he would like to see a demonstration. The guy said OK. So then five thousand people waving signs show up.

HaHa, five thousand people demonstrated in Gurnee last week:

Thousands of people lined three busy blocks in Gurnee holding signs protesting President Donald Trump's newly imposed tariffs, spending cuts and firings by Elon Musk's Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE).
Thousands rally in Gurnee against President Donald Trump, Elon Musk and more: 'I just don't know where the economy is going'

The Lake County GOP was not amused. Their Chairman had this to say on behalf of President Trump:

Keith Brin, the chair of the Lake County Republican Central Committee, said Sunday that Trump's actions since his Jan. 20 inauguration are part of his effort to fulfill campaign promises. They are being done by a man who got the most votes for president, he pointed out. "None of this should be a surprise to anybody," Brin said. "I think these are the same people who will never accept him as a legitimate president, and never agree with him no matter what he does. They are continuing to stoke the fire in these protests."
Thousands rally in Gurnee against President Donald Trump, Elon Musk and more: 'I just don't know where the economy is going'

Soon after, a White House spokesman read a clarification statement: "If you think we're pounding the crazy, now, you ain't seen nothing yet."

You Know My Name (Look Up the ISBN)

An actual unretouched screencap from the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenew source:

The Lake County Gazette imports its content direct from Russian bot farms, and duty-free. So you know it is fresh -- fresh out of ideas:

Library Board seeks new trustee to guide future initiatives

The Library Board is seeking a new Trustee to help guide the Library, engage in strategic discussions, and shape its future.

The Library serves as a vibrant community center dedicated to enhancing knowledge, fostering civic engagement, and expanding access to resources. The Board upholds core values such as accountability, accessibility, intellectual freedom, and diversity.

"As a Trustee, you'll help guide the Library, engage in strategic discussions, and shape its future," said the invitation.

If committed to these principles and interested in making a difference in the community, individuals are encouraged to apply.

Interested applicants should submit a resume and responses to specified questions. To apply or obtain more information, contact the Board.

Application Deadline: April 13, 2025.

A spokesman for P.T. Barnum told your LakeCountyEye: "I don't care what the newspapers say about me as long as they spell my name right."

Community Meeting for Hunt Club Park’s New Playground

Gurnee Park District to host community meeting for Hunt Club Park’s NEW Playground

Public Servitude

The Consolidated Election is on April 1, next Tuesday. So naturally, the Question of the Day ...

Q: Why was the 2025 Election scheduled for April Fool's Day?

A: Make up your own joke here.

HaHa.

Who votes in these municipal elections? Nobody. Why not? Nobody pays attention to them.

Who runs in these municipal elections? Nobody. Why not? These down-ballot offices demand a lot of time and they pay zero.

Those candidates who do run often bank on creative ways to compensate their efforts:

Two candidates for mayor of Arlington Heights on Wednesday denied there would be a conflict of interest between their day jobs if they were to become the top elected official in town. Jim Tinaglia, currently a village trustee who also heads an architecture firm that does work in and out of Arlington Heights, and Arlington Heights Chamber of Commerce Executive Director Jon Ridler were asked about real or perceived conflicts
Arlington Heights mayoral candidates deny conflicts with their day jobs

And it's all perfectly legal ...

"In every single case, I never made one phone call or had one conversation with any of the other board members asking for any sort of consideration. I steered clear of any sort of impropriety," Tinaglia said. "There is no conflict. There is no conflict of interest," he added.
Arlington Heights mayoral candidates deny conflicts with their day jobs

Besides, everyone does it anyways ...

"The chamber is not getting rich off of one business opening up in town," Ridler said. "To think that there’s anything quid pro quo that could go under the table, or for approvals when you're in the mayor position, it's not reality." If elected, Ridler said any real or perceived conflict that comes before the board would be transparent and known by residents, but believes "it's rarely going to happen." He also suggests no one can get elected with zero potential conflict of interest.
Arlington Heights mayoral candidates deny conflicts with their day jobs

Bottom line, the savings are passed on to you, the voter!

IceCream Man + Florida Man = Also Ran

Jim Oberweis is not like the Lake County GOP office holders that live in Florida. Perennial candidate Jim Oberweis is registered to vote in Florida. And since perennial candidates will candidate, perennially, Oberweis is running for Congress in Florida:

Former Illinois state Sen. Jim Oberweis — a Republican now living in Bonita Springs, Florida — was the first Republican to announce a candidacy for the congressional seat set to be vacated by Rep. Byron Donalds as he runs for governor of the Sunshine State.
Illinois man becomes Florida man

How will this affect Oberweis's fully paid-up standing as an honorary Lake County Republican? Not substantially. Operatives who wish to support Jim Oberweis in the primary can simply obtain their Florida absentee ballot. And cast their votes for him:

Statewide Vote-by-Mail Request Form

Note to Ops: If you are mailing you ballot from Illinois, don't forget to vote early. And often.

Political Capital

Note to Ops: There are two things you never want to do for money. Never marry and never go into politics. Only your lawyers will get rich.

HaHa, yes, they can haul you into court on bribery charges. And yes they may even get a conviction. But the transcript will never lie -- it always shows that you made no money from your government job. Unless your name is Elon Musk, there is no money in politics.

What incentives are there to participate in government? Very few as far as your LakeCountyEye can see. Some municipalities have to promise emoluments to get qualified citizens to step up to do their civic duty:

Why some suburbs compensate members of appointed boards

In most jurisdictions, it would seem, the default setting is to let unregulated market forces call the shots:

Two candidates for mayor of Arlington Heights on Wednesday denied there would be a conflict of interest between their day jobs if they were to become the top elected official in town.
Arlington Heights mayoral candidates deny conflicts with their day jobs

For the record, Arlington Heights is a Lake County municipality. In spite of that, Arlington Heights conducts itself like it was Cook County.

The New Arches

It may be the Gateway to the West, but St Louis ain't got nothin' on the Village of Mundelein:

Mundelein officials on Monday, March 10, could pursue creating a proposed gateway feature for Park Street in the downtown area. A large arch that would span Park Street facing Route 45 is being considered.
A gateway arch could be headed to Park Street in Mundelein

The Village of Long Grove strongly supports the proposal. A spokesman for the Village said: "Trucks that need to cross over our covered bridge, will first be routed under the Mundelein arch."

Mayor McCheese was unavailable for comment.

A.H. GOP

Not to be outdone by Donald Trump who annexed our 51st state, Canada, Lake County welcomes its newest municipality, Arlington Heights.

Who knew the Village of Arlington Heights was in Lake County? Not your LakeCountyEye:

Arlington Heights, Illinois

Of course, now that Arlington Heights is a Lake County community, the Lake County GOP is embroiled in a campaign finance controversy:

An Arlington Heights trustee candidate faces a formal complaint alleging she accepted campaign contributions exceeding limits set by the village code. The campaign committee for Michele Hunter received in-kind contributions of $6,353.86 and $1,406.22 on Jan. 17 from the Illinois Republican Party for mailing and printing, according to disclosures filed with the Illinois State Board of Elections.
Complaint claims Arlington Heights trustee candidate violated donation limits

This is not the first Lake County Republican candidate to run afoul of campaign finance laws:

Sly Finance

The official response from the Village of Arlington Heights? Nothing to see here, move along:

Arlington Heights village trustee candidate Michele Hunter didn't violate local campaign finance rules, an investigation by the village attorney determined. But village board members Monday still argued about whether Hunter needs to further amend her campaign committee's filings with state elections officials.
Arlington Heights trustee candidate cleared in campaign finance probe

One Lake County watchdog said: "Arlington Heights proves that the Lake County GOP is making their calls from the Cook County machine playbook."

Boots on the Ground

Lake County's newest GOP Precinct Committeeman is also Lake County's newest State Senator. Coincidence? You decide.

Last week an IL GOP committee named Darby Hills the new 26th District State Senator. Is Darby Hills a Republican?  Absolutely.  If not, why was she summarily also given an open precinct committeeman slot?

A true unsung hero, the precinct committeeperson is the heart and soul of any political organization.  And the Chair of the Lake County GOP appointed Darby Hills to serve ...

an open Republican precinct committee post in Ela Township. Hills lives in nearby Cuba Township, but appointees to precinct posts don't need to live in the precincts they serve.
Darby Hills' appointment to state Senate on hold as Republicans reopen applications for McConchie's seat

So, who is Darby Hills? Nobody knows. What does a State Senator do? Nobody knows. Coincidence? You decide:

One thing is known -- and that would be what a Lake County Republican committeeman does. According to the Lake County GOP ...

As we get closer to an election our committeemen work hard to support our Republican ticket, by knocking on doors, making phone calls, hosting candidates, and putting up yard signs. There are so many way our committeemen support our local Republicans!
Become a Precinct Committeeperson

Note to Ops: Be sure to wear sensible shoes before going out to plant those yardsigns next November.

Succession 3.0

Perhaps under the mistaken assumption that Groundhog Day repeats itself through the entire month of February, the IL GOP met once again to select a new District 26 State Senator. And precisely as predicted by your LakeCountyEye ...

Succession 2.0

Martin McLaughlin was chosen once again to serve the remainder of former State Senator Dan McConchie's term.

Backbench State Rep Martin McLaughlin was indeed chosen again, but with one asterisk. That asterisk being Darby Hills was chosen again to serve out the term:

For the second time in a month, Barrington Hills Trustee Darby Hills has been named the new state senator for the 26th District — but her selection remains the target of court action.
Darby Hills chosen — again — to succeed Dan McConchie in state Senate

Who is Darby Hills? Nobody knows.

A spokesman for the GOP committee said: "If for any reason that the new State Senator cannot fulfill her duties, the first runner up, Martin McLaughlin, shall take over. Good luck to the both of you!"

Shock Resistance

The question of the day is an SAT analogy problem:

Electric Cars are to the auto industry as [your answer here] is to the Federal Government?

Electric Cars : Auto Industry :: ? : Federal Government

The answer is ...

DEI Employees

Electric cars are just like DEI employees. They are only there because of government mandates and subsidies. If the playing field was level, no electric vehicle could hope to compete against an internal combustion engine.

This would explain why the Lake County GOP organized a protest at a Tesla dealership in Libertyville last weekend. Except it was the Democrats who organized the event. Republicans that did show up were there to counter-protest:

Hundreds attended a protest against Elon Musk and President Donald Trump outside a Tesla dealership in Libertyville, with dozens counter-protesting on Saturday. A protest organized by the Lake County Democrats was held late Saturday morning into early Saturday afternoon.
Hundreds attend protest of Elon Musk, President Donald Trump outside Libertyville Tesla dealership

The Lake County GOP was asked why their protesters were not protesting against electric-vehicle Teslas. A spokesman said: "Erm ... did that happen on Opposite Day?"

COMING UP ...
The IL GOP wants to remind you that global warming is a hoax. And they urge drivers to trade-in their Teslas for American cars. "Ship all of those green electric-vehicle Teslas back to Mars where they came from!"

Late to the Party

The question of the day comes from a recent Tesla Inc. interview questionnaire:

Q: Why did Trump slap a 37% tariff on iron alloys imported from China?

A: To stop the steel.

HaHa, if you believe the GOP, any election can get stolen -- and that no-doubt includes Senate District 26, where IL GOP party leaders will choose a new State Senator. The public was told that party leaders would convene on February 21 to vote-in their candidate:

With their first attempt resulting in a legal challenge, a group of suburban Republicans will meet Friday to again choose former state Sen. Dan McConchie's successor in the 26th District. The committee's leader said he doesn't expect the end result will be any different. The gathering is set for 1 p.m. at Palatine Township Republican Organization headquarters, 765 N. Quentin Road in Palatine.
Facing lawsuit, Republicans to meet a second time to choose McConchie's successor

The real vote however will occur when the party leaders convene on February 28:

Any additional applicants will be interviewed privately before a public vote is taken at 1 p.m. Friday, Feb. 28 at the Palatine Township Republican Organization headquarters, 765 N. Quentin Road, Palatine.
Darby Hills' appointment to state Senate on hold as Republicans reopen applications for McConchie’s seat

Sharpeyed operatives will recognize a time-tested technique at pulling off voter fraud. Inform the voters about when election day is, but give them incorrect information.

One GOP party boss told your LakeCountyEye: "I don't see any discrepancy here. These are what we call alternative facts."