Quarterback Sneak

Put on your thinking caps, today's quiz is taken from the Texas Tech college entrance exam:

Q: What did the football coach say to the vending machine?

A: Give me my quarterback.

HaHa. This Chicago Tribune headline story is also about a quarterback:

But this quarterback is a "Springfield labor quarterback":

What's a "Springfield labor quarterback"? Nobody knows.

Surely this would be an example of an AI hallucination. To find out -- and being no different than any other media outlet owned by a Fortune500 Conglomerate -- your LakeCountyEye of course outsourced the investigation to AI:

Your AI overlords have obviously been trained in the art of circling the wagons.

Your LakeCountyEye has yet to hear a response.

Don't Drink the Water and Don't Eat the Food

Are your greens making you green? The Lake County Health Dept warns you to stay away from green vegetation.

The culprit clearly is the recent outbreak of cyclospora and salmonella. Or is it? Actually no. What you now need to steer clear of are toxic algae blooms:

'When in doubt, stay out': Experts warn about potential toxic algal blooms in local waters

Toxic algae blooms are nothing to sneeze at:

The Illinois Environmental Protection Agency says that the toxins can also cause rashes, lung irritations, digestive problems, headaches, lethargy and elevated liver enzymes in humans.
'When in doubt, stay out': Experts warn about potential toxic algal blooms in local waters

And the toxic algae has been spreading like wildflowers:

Reflecting Pool algae bloom is one of biggest recorded in years after $14M renovation

So just why did DOGE fire all of those CDC scientists and FDA inspectors last year? A spokesman for the Trump Whitehouse said: "If we want to make America healthy again, we're first going to need to make America very sick again."

Gurnee Days 2026

Gurnee Days 2026

Sh-Boom

You didn't hear it here. A quiet zone will be established for the Canadian National Railway:

Barrington is slated to take the lead among communities working to recertify a quiet zone along the Canadian National Railway corridor.
Barrington on track with other communities toward renewing Canadian National quiet zone

A quiet-zone is a stretch of rail where engine horns are silenced. This applies to all trains, including exploding bomb trains. One industry spokesman said: "We can't guarantee that you won't hear it when one of our cars explodes. But is that such a bad thing?"

Jack of All Charades

Jack Barry, a pioneer of early television, is best known for rigging TV game shows in the 1950s. And now Donald Trump wants you to believe that Jack Barry is back and is rigging the national elections:

Trump Doubles Down on Election Fraud Claims. Here’s What to Know About US Voting Security

HaHa, j/k. Barry died in 1984. Read about it in the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source:

So why is the Lake County Gazette featuring a story about a network TV personality who died more than 40 years ago? Maybe because he was born in Lindenhurst.

Lindenhurst, Long Island -- in the State of New York, to be exact:

It is no secret that the content of the Lake County Gazette is outsourced to Russian AI bots. When asked why it persistently confuses Lindenhurst Illinois with Lindenhurst New York, the Lake County Gazette AI bot said: "Извините, я не говорю по-английски."^*
__________________________

* Sorry, I do not speak English.

Sounds of Summer Concert at Hunt Club Park – Mike & Joe

Sounds of Summer Concert at Hunt Club Park – Mike & Joe

No Great Shakes

Lake County bowling scores were higher than normal last week. There was an earthquake:

A mild earthquake occurred off the shore of the northern suburbs Wednesday afternoon, officials said. A 2.9 magnitude earthquake was recorded in Lake Michigan near the Illinois-Wisconsin border
Mild earthquake reported in Lake Michigan off the shore of northern suburbs, officials say

In related news, two cows escaped from their Lake County dairy farm:

A pair of cows that wandered away from their home and were found "chilling" in a parking lot in central Lake County were reunited with their owner
'No bull': Lake County sheriff's deputies find wayward cows

Lake County milkshake consumption was higher than normal last week.

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Shake a leg.

Dopes Spring Eternal

Question of the Day: What is a Rope-a-Dope?

	Coined by Muhammad Ali in 1974, "rope-a-dope" is a defensive strategy where a boxer leans against the ropes. By covering up and allowing the opponent to repeatedly throw tiring, non-injuring punches, the defender saves their own energy. Once the attacker exhausts themselves, the defender strikes back to secure a victory.
	The Ayatollahs of Iran VS Donald J Trump

And speaking of dope, Chief Keef is back:

Chief Keef Will Perform In Chicago For 1st Time In 14 Years With Show At Northerly Island

Sadly, Lake County GOP favorite son Chief Keef will not be performing in Lake County. Nonetheless the Lake County GOP has extended an open invitation to Chief Keef -- he is welcome to visit Lake County at any time. A Lake County GOP spokesman said: "We need to remind the voters about all of the drug dealers south of the border that are coming up into Lake County."

Sounds of Summer Concert – Billy Elton

Sounds of Summer Concert – Billy Elton (FREE)

A Back of the Envelope Donation

Question of the Day: When does $50 million get you only a 6th place finish?

Is it when a President Trump bribes FIFA to bend the rules and then the USA team immediately gets beat by 5th place Belgium? No, the correct answer is when that $50 million only puts you in 6th place behind the country's other political mega-donors:

Meet the megadonors pouring more than $1.3 billion into the 2026 election

Lake County moneybags Richard & Elizabeth Uihlein have been observed pouring gobs of green into right-wing coffers. One would naturally assume good times are on the horizon for the Republican Party in Lake County. But despite giving more than $50 million this election cycle, the last donation the Uihleins made to the Lake County GOP was in 2024, and which amounted to a miserly $1050. And that wasn't even cash -- it was for office supplies:

To put that in perspective, $1050 worth of office supplies would not even fill a returned-merchandise dumpster at Uline.

A spokesman for the Lake County GOP said: "We asked the Uihleins for a donation and they sent us packing peanuts."

Celebrity Apparition

Every year, to kickoff the Summer, Lake County unites to celebrate the birthday of model/actress Linda Morand:

Who is Linda Morand? Nobody knows.

The Lake County Gazette says Morand was born here in Lindenhurst. For the sake of accuracy however, "here" needs to refer to Lindenhurst, Long Island, which is in the State of New York:

A spokesman for the Lake County Gazette (Lake County's #1 fakenews source) said: "Close enough for anti-government propaganda work."

Dualing Typos

An actual unretouched screencap from the Chicago Tribune, the Midwest's newspaper of record:

In related news, the Chicago Tribune has purchased the Daily Harold:

Tribune Publishing completes purchase of Daily Herald, adding the suburban newspaper to its Chicago portfolio

A spokesman for the Lake County Gazette Lake County's #1 fakenews source said: "Please insert your own AI news-bot joke here."

America 250th Celebration

America 250th Celebration

Miscast

Luca Brasi, legendary mob enforcer, has died. And no, your LakeCountyEye is not talking a Trump administration functionary. Your LakeCountyEye is talking about Godfather Part 1 actor Lenny Montana. You can read about it in the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source:

Do not bother sending condolences. The actor died in 1992.

So why is the Lake County Gazette featuring a story about a New York actor who died more than 30 years ago? Maybe because he died in Lindenhurst.

Lindenhurst, Long Island -- in the State of New York, to be exact:

It's no secret that the content you see in the Lake County Gazette is generated by Russian AI bots. When asked how a Godfather actor could be misidentified as a Lindenhurst resident, one AI bot said: "It's not personal, it's strictly business."

Sounds of Summer Concert – Disco Circus

Sounds of Summer Concert – Disco Circus