Sunday, January 29, 2023

Bet the Company

This just in from the Lake County Bureau of Statistics:
Q: How many Lake County Chambers of Commerce are there that endorse Internet casino gambling?

A: No fewer than 2, if you believe the Lake County Gazette -- Lake County's #1 fakenews source.
As readers of this blog will recall ...
You Bet
The Lake County Gazette published a fake Grayslake Chamber of Commerce press release extoling the rewards of online casino gambling.

Now the Lake County Gazette has published a similarly worded fake press release from the Lincolnshire Chamber of Commerce:
One media watchdog told your LakeCountyEye: "Everyone knows the Lake County Gazette obtains all of its content from Russian Troll Farms. I wouldn't be surprised if they had a botnet of online casinos up and running to pay for their war."

Tuesday, January 24, 2023

The Defensive Line

NSFW
Your LakeCountyEye has an urgent plea from the Lake County Gun Merchants Assn:
"If you don't own any assault weapons, how will you defend them against those who come to confiscate your assault weapons?"
Assault weapons have been banned in Illinois, but backbench State Rep Martin McLaughlin opposes the new law:
State Rep. Martin McLaughlin, a Republican from Barrington Hills, suggested the measure jeopardized someone's right to defend themselves.
Illinois' sweeping firearms ban certain to end up in court, and some experts doubt it will stand
Do homeowners really need assault weapons to protect themselves? One Lake County GOP spokesman said: "If you live in Barrington Hills like McLaughlin does, then absolutely. The mosquitoes down there are bigger than crows."

Thursday, January 19, 2023

Hired Gun

Today's pop quiz was submitted by the Illinois State Rifle Association:
Q: Ed Sullivan Jr is a lobbyist for the Illinois State Rifle Association. What was Sullivan's favorite book in junior-high?

A: A Farewell to Arms
HaHa j/k. The correct answer is the Warren Zevon classic rock ballad Lawyers, Guns and Money:

Lawyers, Guns and Money (2007 Remaster)
Album: Excitable Boy
Lake County favorite son, Ed Sullivan Jr doesn't want assault weapons banned in Lake County:
Ed Sullivan, a lobbyist for the Illinois State Rifle Association, said legal action will be swift.
Illinois Bans Semiautomatic Weapons, Critics Vow Court Test
For the record, Ed Sullivan Jr is a former Lake County GOP elected official. It is not known if Sullivan has seen any of Lake County lately.

Sunday, January 15, 2023

Don't Take the Law into Your Own Hands, Take It to Court

too surreal
The history books of the future will say Lake County played a prominent role in the Illinois assault weapons ban. One prominent name in that history is Lake County favorite son, Ed Sullivan Jr.

Sullivan, a former GOP office-holder, is a lobbyist for the Illinois State Rifle Association. Ed Sullivan Jr wants to see the assault weapons law struck down by the courts:
Sullivan echoed ISRA executive director Richard Pearson's "challenge accepted" statement from Tuesday, noting that lawsuits are on the way. He said gun rights advocates will seek an injunction halting the implementation of the law, and that legal precedents show the law is unconstitutional.
As advocates in Lake County celebrate passage of assault weapons ban, local gun rights backers mull options
When asked if it would be appropriate to initiate a court challenge against the weapons ban in Lake County, one Lake County GOP spokesman said: "Yippee yi yo ki yay, Buckaroo".

Wednesday, January 11, 2023

Bet the Farm

An actual unretouched screencap from Lake County's #1 fakenews source, the Lake County Gazette:
The Lake County Gazette reproduced the Grayslake Chamber of Commerce logo.  And a supposed press release lauding the rewards of online casino gambling.

One captain of industry told your LakeCountyEye: "Interest rates must be higher than I thought, if the Grayslake Chamber advises members to raise capital by placing bets on the Internet."

Friday, January 6, 2023

Cash & Kari

you can't spell arizona without nra
It has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that January 1 was the first day of 2023.

Your LakeCountyEye was also surprised that the gunfire heard throughout the County was in fact not new years fireworks. No, those gunshots were Lake County Republicans discharging their weapons in celebration.

After learning that Lake County moneybags Richard Uihlein has been donating to right-wing causes, Lake County Republicans celebrated a big contribution that went to the benefit of Lake*:
If election denier Kari Lake got a drubbing last week, it was despite money that flowed from corporate America to a campaign committee supporting her effort to become Arizona’s next governor.
Kari Lake's Defeat in Arizona Came Despite Backing From Corporate America
the Uihlein-backed dark money nonprofit Restoration Action Inc. hired Arizona Republican Gina Swoboda as an executive director last year, paying her $108,750 in salary. Swoboda, a former Trump campaign official and the vice chair of the Arizona Republican Party, is now leading a misguided charge against the ballot count in that state on behalf of GOP gubernatorial candidate Kari Lake.
Inside the Billionaire-Backed 'Hub for Election Denial'
It is unclear if the Lake County GOP will actually see any of that Uihlein money. It may help if they change their name to the Kari-Lake County Republican Party.
*Arizona gubernatorial candidate Kari Lake

Monday, January 2, 2023

Say It Don't Spray It

An actual unretouched screencap from the tinfoil theocrats at the McHenryCountyBlog:

One randomly selected spokesman told your LakeCountyEye: "It looks like that vandal did not have spell-check activated on his spray-can."

Thursday, December 29, 2022

Year-End Blooper Reel

Note to Ops: Being omniscient is a mixed blessing. You remember with crystal clarity all of your mistakes.

These are your LakeCountyEye's 10 boo-boos from 2022:

What your LakeCountyEye predicted:
Missing bison resurfaces in Hawthorn Woods: owners warn public not to go out without shoes
What the news media reported:
Missing bison resurfaces in Hawthorn Woods: owners warn public not to track, chase

What your LakeCountyEye predicted:
Canadian National plan to reduce train delays in Lake County plus $5.00 gets you a cup of coffee
What the news media reported:
Canadian National plan to reduce train delays in Lake County gets support from board

What your LakeCountyEye predicted:
The Lake Villa GOP was supposed to raffle off five guns, including an AR-15 rifle. But an accidental shooting in a foot led to the event’s postponement.
What the news media reported:
The Lake Villa GOP was supposed to raffle off five guns, including an AR-15 rifle. But mass shootings in Buffalo and Uvalde led to the event’s postponement.

What your LakeCountyEye predicted:
Long Grove’s historic covered bridge has not been hit since 2020. ‘I cannot believe that people still avoid crossing that bridge.’
What the news media reported:
Long Grove’s historic covered bridge has now been hit 35 times since 2020. 'I cannot believe that people still attempt to cross that bridge.'

What your LakeCountyEye predicted:
Amen Bro! Mark Curran on Trump, election fraud and J6
What the news media reported:
Oppo dump! Mark Curran on Trump, "election fraud" and J6

What your LakeCountyEye predicted:
Lake County Board member does not call League of Women Voters' members 'hags'
What the news media reported:
Lake County Board member to apologize for calling League of Women Voters' members 'hags'

What your LakeCountyEye predicted:
Senate GOP Leader McConchie confident he will win re-election in a landslide
What the news media reported:
Senate GOP Leader McConchie decries "rigged system"

What your LakeCountyEye predicted:
Another in the many Uihlein grand slams
What the news media reported:
Another in the many Uihlein losses

What your LakeCountyEye predicted:
As if someone gave a rat's ass, petition filing for school board and most municipal races begins Monday
What the news media reported:
Petition filing for school board and most municipal races begins Monday

What your LakeCountyEye predicted:
Route 53 task force asks "Is this still a thing?"
What the news media reported:
Route 53 task force gives green light to greenway as IDOT demurs

What your LakeCountyEye predicted:
Predicted Republican 'red wave' creates a Tidy-Bowl maelstrom in Lake County
What the news media reported:
Top Stories of 2022: Predicted Republican 'red wave' creates barely a ripple in Lake County

Eleven, but who's counting?

Saturday, December 24, 2022

Take the Holiday Challenge

politics ain't beanbag
That one special day of the year that everyone is waiting for has nearly arrived. After months of painstaking preparations, holiday merrymakers everywhere are ready to celebrate boxing day -- when you can return all of the stupid stuff that Santa left under the tree for something good.

HaHa, j/k.

Of course, your LakeCountyEye is not referring to boxing day. No, your LakeCountyEye obviously refers to the final day for objections to be filed against candidates for 2023 election.

Normally that day would fall on Dec 26, erm, boxing day.

But since everyone was extra good this year, the deadline has been extended to Dec 28 for many school board contests:
The deadline to file objections to candidate filings for local school boards and the regional board of schools trustee positions has been extended to 5 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 28.
Candidate objection deadline in Lake County extended
A holiday tip from Old St Nick: Take the list and check it twice. Is someone on that list naughty?  Then by all means, load up your sleigh and fly that ballot objection straight down the chimney.  Ho Ho Ho!

Monday, December 19, 2022

Happy Birthday

A Trump digital trading card is only $99 -- the perfect gift.
Join your LakeCountyEye in sending a birthday shoutout to a fellow you may not have met, but whose name everyone in Lake County will recognize.

A political boss by any definition of the word, this go-getter rose to the highest echelons of his Party -- only to preside over the decay of that same once all-powerful Party and its eventual sad demise.

Your LakeCountyEye of course refers to General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, Leonid Brezhnev. (Dec 19 1906 – Nov 10 1982)

Fun fact: Brezhnev liked to drive fast sports cars, often to the disregard for public safety.

If Brezhnev were alive today he would be 116 years young.

Happy Birthday Leonid!

Thursday, December 15, 2022

Watertowery McWatertowerface

Truth, they say, is stranger than the Lake County Gazette:
Name ideas are being accepted through Friday for a new water tower to be built by Lake County's public works department at 18534 W. Old Gages Lake Road near Grayslake.
Help name Lake County's new water tower
Your LakeCountyEye votes for:
God's Golf Ball

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Drink a cup of kindness.

Saturday, December 10, 2022

Trigger Warning

An actual unretouched screencap of a drawing executed by the Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist™ ...
What could that possibly be? No one knows.

One thing is known: The Tribune's Creepy Cartoonist™ -- aka the Hieronymus Bosch vis-à-vis the Land of Lincoln -- excels at putting nightmare images down on paper:
A seasonal note: Your LakeCountyEye will be in trauma therapy over the balance of the year.

Tuesday, December 6, 2022

M4Lware

Your pop quiz today is an analogy question taken from an SAT exam:
Q) GRINCH : CHRISTMAS ::

A) Moms for Liberty : Your Local Public School
B)
C)
D)
The correct answer is (A).

HaHa, Moms for Liberty is a fake grassroots organization that is funded with MAGA dark-money and operates out of Florida. Their mission is to infiltrate your community and blow up your public schools:
The Right-Wing Mothers Fuelling the School-Board Wars
They operate by establishing a beachhead in your community with a local chapter:
School board elections are next year and the petition period is now. Moms for Liberty could be in your community at this very moment, plotting to take over your school board -- and you wouldn't know it before it was too late.
TICK ...
TICK ...
TICK ...
TICK ...
BOOM.

Friday, December 2, 2022

It's All About the Cheddar

On, Wisconsin. On, Wisconsin. Plunge right through that line.
The Lake County election has been certified, and the numbers are clear: more people have crashed into the Long Grove bridge than voted for the Republican Party:
In Lake County, Democrats won every competitive countywide race and secured 14 of the 19 county board seats up for election.
In the suburban counties, the blue wave spread further
What up with that GOP -- the Party that once owned Lake County's political terrain? A few Party officials blame Darren Bailey. They say the voters were not ready for some farmer riding in on his turnip truck from McHenry Clay County.

But the Republican Party produced some high-quality candidates who lost as well. Like Congressional Candidate Kash Jackson Max Rice -- he reaped a mere 28% of the vote, which is not significantly better than the rounding error. And Supreme Court candidate Mark Curran who, despite being Lake County favorite son Mark Curran, couldn't top 39% in Lake County.

If anyone is to blame that would be Lake County moneybags Richard Uihlein. Whilst being from Lake County and whilst riding in on the moneybags truck, Uihlein chose to send his campaign donations elsewhere:
The Uihleins live in Illinois and have focused much of their giving in Wisconsin.
Inside the Billionaire-Backed 'Hub for Election Denial'
One knowledgeable political scientist offered a theory to explain it all: "It's nothing personal. Only business."

Sunday, November 27, 2022

MFs

Keep your government hands off my public school.
They're making a list, checking it twice. Gonna find out who's naughty or nice.

Would that "they" perhaps be Santa and his eight tiny reindeer? Nope, your LakeCountyEye refers to Moms For Liberty.

Moms For Liberty -- aka MFL -- is a "grassroots" movement that happens to be a 501(c)(4) headquartered in Florida and funded by dark money. Their mission is to get control of your school board.

MFL will parachute into your community, then hijack the school board meetings by airing grievances about ...
  • critical race theory
  • vaccine and mask mandates
  • study topics that include gender, race, identity, sex, discrimination
  • a science-based curricula
Then they will recruit and run candidates for your school board. And before you know it you will be looking at your property tax bill and wondering what happened to that world-class school that you moved into your community for.

Note to Ops: You better watch out.  They're coming to town.