Nothing Succeeds Like a Successor

Pop Quiz!

This politician, who never lost an election to his legislative seat, was considered a representative-for-life. Then on the last day to submit Primary petitions he announced he would not seek reelection in 2026. And his hand-picked successor was the only name left on the ballot. Can you name this Illinois machine politician? And for bonus points, can you name the hand-picked successor?

If you named 4th District Congressman Chuy García, that was a good guess -- but you are wrong.  The correct answer is Lake County District 17 Commissioner Michael Danforth. His hand-picked successor is Joe Salvi:

Michael Danforth has represented District 17 for nine years. He filed to run for reelection but withdrew after the filing deadline, saying he wanted time for family. Salvi submitted paperwork on the last day of candidate filing and subsequently received Danforth's endorsement.
Newcomer, experienced write-in candidate square off in Lake County District 17

Lake County GOP favorite son Eleanor Sweet McDonnell is running against Salvi as a write-in candidate:

McDonnell said the timing and politics of that situation led her to run as write-in candidate.
Newcomer, experienced write-in candidate square off in Lake County District 17

One political scientist said: "Someone would have better luck on that ballot qualifying as an Independent candidate. That corner of the County is where your GOP voters are home-schooled. Winning as a write-in there will be a tough row to hoe."

Stop the Spiel

Question of the Day:

Q: What is Donald Trump's new justification for going to war against Iran?

A: Iran stole the 2020 election for Biden.

Don't laugh, there are plenty of Republicans who still believe the 2020 election was stolen. And they are all running for Congress in the 11th District:

Three of the four Republicans running for Illinois' 11th Congressional District seat have expressed doubts that Joe Biden legitimately won the 2020 presidential election.
GOP congressional candidates express doubts about Biden’s 2020 White House win

One political scientist said: "Be careful what you wish for. If they do give the 2020 election to Trump, that means this would be his third term as President. The Constitution is clear on this matter: Trump would need to be removed -- by force if necessary -- from the White House."

Early Voting Begins Today for the March 17, 2026 General Primary Election

Early Voting Begins Today for the March 17, 2026 General Primary Election

Write-Off Candidates

Does Donald Trump know everything you need to know about apes and the 2026 mid-term elections? If not, then what explains the monkey-shines going on with the GOP Primary in Illinois?

A GOP candidate for the 9th Congressional District has denied ever being arrested, despite evidence to the contrary:

A Republican candidate in Illinois' 9th Congressional District was arrested and charged with felony theft in Hawaii more than 20 years ago — but the case subsequently was dismissed and the arrest was expunged, public records and legal documents show.
GOP congressional candidate's 2001 theft case was dismissed and arrest was expunged, documents show

And a GOP candidate for the 11th Congressional District created a fake video featuring an endorsement from Donald Trump:

"Let me tell you something, folks, this guy right here — he's incredible," the fake Trump said. "I've seen a lot of hardworking people in my life, believe me, but this man — he works harder than anyone. He's honest, he's loyal and he doesn't quit."
GOP candidate deletes video of fake Trump endorsement

A spokesman for the Republican National Committee said: "These outstanding candidates, and others like them, are the reason we will hold our majorities in both houses of Congress. Any talk about cancelling the mid-term elections is mere idle speculation."

Brown, Delivered

No one expected to see Tedora M Brown on their bingo card. Even fewer expected to see her on their early-voting ballot. But there she is:

An Illinois appeals court on Friday reversed lower decisions and ordered Republican congressional candidate Tedora M. Brown's name to be added to 11th District ballots. The 1st District appellate court in Chicago ordered Brown "be placed on the ballot immediately." It also ordered the Illinois State Board of Elections to "take all steps necessary" to enforce the order.
GOP candidate wins appeal and slot on 11th Congressional District ballots; DuPage halts early voting as result

Tedora Brown had been removed from the Primary ballot after it was determined that her nominating petition was one signature below the minimum required. But a sympathetic judge ordered that signer to be released from ICE detention, and Brown is now back on.

HaHa, j/k. What actually happened was, the FBI seized her petition and conducted a scientific recount.

One political scientist said: "Tedora Brown has three Primary election opponents, all male. Unless one or more of those opponents identifies as gender-female, Brown wins in a landslide."

Lake County Clerk's Office USPS Announcement

Lake County Clerk's Office USPS Announcement

You Can't Spell NATIONALIZE Without ICE

It might not be a coincidence that Cleveland Ohio has the Cavaliers to conduct a full-court press. While Rocio Cleveland courts the press with her cavalier conduct:

The Republicans running to represent Illinois' 9th Congressional District are split on President Donald Trump's recent proposal to nationalize elections. Of the four GOP candidates, only Rocio Cleveland — an ardent Trump supporter who called the president "a real solid man, a real alpha male" — backed the idea.
Most GOP candidates for 9th Congressional seat oppose Trump's suggestion to nationalize elections

Lake County GOP favorite son Rocio Cleveland wants to be your next 9th District Congressman. Not to be outdone, Donald J Trump -- arguably America's first gangster president -- says that local elections should be run by the Federal Government.

Good idea, or merely "there are no stupid ideas"? One political scientist said: "Be careful what you wish for. Let's say Rocio Cleveland is elected to the 9th Congressional District. If that election was nationalized, the Justice Department would prosecute her for election fraud, and subsequently Donald Trump is appointed to the seat."

Bridge of Size XS

Did you hear the one about the ICE agent who set up a stakeout on Robert Parker Coffin Rd? He heard that the Long Grove Bridge is where the El Caminos and Eldorados get caught.
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HaHa, if Illinois was in Florida then another Florida man crashed into the Long Grove Bridge:

Yet another vehicle struck Long Grove's iconic covered bridge at Robert Parker Coffin Road Wednesday evening. Village officials said this is the 73rd strike since the bridge reopened in August 2020.
Long Grove's iconic covered bridge takes another smack

In related news, self-driving cars may become legal in Illinois:

A bill filed last week would authorize autonomous vehicle pilot programs in a handful of Illinois counties
Waymo-backed bill could make self-driving cars legal in Illinois in three years

Officials are confident this will significantly reduce the number of bridge crashes seen in Long Grove: "All of those self-driving Teslas on Illinois roads are going to blow up way before they get anywhere near the Long Grove Bridge."

You Can't Win If You Don't Get on the Ballot

If brown is the new black, then is Tedora M Brown the new Black Knight (from Monty Python and the Holy Grail)? The Black Knight, who is comically dismembered in a sword fight, refuses to admit defeat. While Tedora Brown refuses to admit defeat after being removed from the ballot for the 11th Congressional District:

Brown's attorney said he filed an emergency appeal requesting an appellate court take the matter up quickly. Early voting in the March 17 primary starts Feb 5. "She's going to keep fighting"
Judge: GOP candidate shouldn't be on 11th District ballots due to signature shortage

In related news, Murder Incorporated the Trump Administration recently issued an executive order: Henceforth, any person who has been removed from the ballot will be subject to deportation. If you have been kicked off your ballot, you must report to an ICE Detention Facility where you will be extradited to a foreign prison forthwith.

Note to Ops: You can't make this stuff up anymore.

Flower? Power? NIMBY

There is an old saying: "Buy land, because they want to build a data center there."

HaHa, the Tech Bros won't be rubbing elbows in Barrington Hills because the Village rejected a proposal to build a data center:

$2 billion data center proposal in Barrington Hills withdrawn

This comes on the heels of a u-pick flower farm that was also shut down by the Village:

Barrington Hills couple faces uphill battle to keep flower farm open to public

For the record: "Barrington Hills is a community where landowners determine how they enjoy their land." And: "A community low in legislation and high in property rights, Barrington Hills residents can indulge their passions and interests at home."

Property Freedoms - Village of Barrington Hills

Provided, apparently, those passions and interests involve firearms:

Property Freedoms - Village of Barrington Hills

Note to DHS Ops: Barrington Hills would be a location tailor-made for your new ICE Detention Facility. Just Sayin!

They're Not Booing, They're Chanting ROCIO

History records two Cleveland administrations (1885-1889 & 1893-1897). And now, more than a century later, the second Rocio Cleveland video has dropped:

Rocio Cleveland Congresswoman Candidate 9th District Fights the Corrupt Illinois GOP

Lake County GOP favorite son Rocio Cleveland is a candidate for one of the County's vestigial Congressional Districts.  And as readers of this blog are aware ...

Something the Cat Dragged In

Cleveland was recently seen trolling a Democratic candidate in a different Congressional District.

In the new video, Cleveland is at some GOP soiree and, since necessity can be a virtue, is seen trolling the Republicans. And collecting more than a few boos.

Cleveland seems to be campaigning on K-thru-12 school issues. A tall order considering that the schools are locally controlled, while Congressmen are tasked with legislating the Federal Government. If the video is any indication, Cleveland may be better suited for the US Senate -- where the ability to filibuster a meeting would be welcomed.

Last Year's News

They revamped the Lake County Gazette and gave it a new appearance. In fact, if the Lake County Gazette was a person it would have been arrested by ICE agents -- just because it looks different.

One thing hasn't changed, the Lake County Gazette remains Lake County's #1 fakenews source. And now when you click the State Government tab, their most recent story is stamped Sep 2, 2025:

(The picture of backbench State Rep Martin McLaughlin looks like it was taken on Sep 2, 1995.)

For the record, the content you read on the Lake County Gazette is generated by Russian troll farms. And it is a well-known fact that Russia still uses the Ptolemaic Calendar.

Severance

Lake County GOP favorite son Joe Severino and running-mate Rantch Isquith are candidates for Governor. Some say their campaign is all about collecting the greens -- their Primary opponents have taken to calling them Vinegar Joe and Rantch Dressing.

HaHa.  Luckily, things haven't gotten that far, as Severino has been tossed off the ballot:

Board members removed Republican Joseph Severino from the ballot after finding that the Lake Forest resident and his lieutenant governor pick, Rantch Isquith, had insufficient signatures on their nominating petitions.
GOP race for governor tightens up after Severino removed from ballot

Severino accuses his objector with using Trump tactics against him:

Severino argues that thousands of signatures were improperly challenged, that objections were made in bad faith and that the board applied deadlines and evidentiary rules in a manner that violated due process.
Governor's race

So Severino has responded with some Trump tactics of his own:

Joseph Severino has filed a lawsuit seeking to remain on the ballot for the March 17 Republican primary for governor. He's asking the Cook County Circuit Court to reverse a decision by the Illinois State Board of Elections that removed him and running mate Rantch Isquith from the ballot after sustaining objections to their nominating petitions.
Governor's race

Note to Ops: No doubt about it, the Illinois Republican Party is pwned by Donald Trump.

Brown Out

Tedora Brown may be qualified for a position in DOGE -- her numbers do not add up. Brown will not be a GOP candidate for the 11th Congressional District, because her nominating petition is one signature shy a franchise:

A suburban congressional candidate's name was struck from upcoming primary ballots Thursday after the Illinois State Board of Elections decided her petitions fell one signature short of the legally required 799.
GOP congressional candidate falls one signature short, removed from ballot

Ordinarily, candidate Brown would be advised to not quit her day job, except she is under indictment for her day job:

Brown is awaiting trial on 13 federal counts of wire fraud in a case alleging she and her husband misused COVID-19 relief funds. They obtained at least $742,000 in small business loans and grants for businesses that didn't exist or weren't operating, prosecutors said in 2023.
GOP congressional candidate falls one signature short, removed from ballot

Tedora Brown still has some options. Obtain a Presidential pardon on the wire fraud charges. Failing that, at least get a pardon for that one signature.

Frosty Fest (Festival Frosty)

Frosty Fest (Festival Frosty)