Thanksgiving Countdown

2020 may have been a year unlike any other. But as 2020 winds down, it is good to remember that this moment marks a special time of the year -- and ever it will -- past, present or future.

The last week of November will always be reserved as a period to pause and be thankful, and to count your ballots.

Note to Ops: Watch for the discovery recount.

And Happy Thanksgiving!

Vaporware

Are you in municipal government? Then remember this life hack: Do not zone a marijuana dispensary across a highway from a Taco Bell. Your constituents are going to get run over.

HaHa, it goes without saying that people will even cross state lines for legal marijuana.  So it should be no surprise that in the Village of Deer Park the philosophy is:

If we don't build it, they will come.

There isn't a marijuana dispensary in Deer Park, but the Village is collecting the sales tax anyways:

Deer Park to tax pot sales -- even though there are no dispensaries yet

Deer Park is a bedroom community that bet the barn on brick-and-mortar retail.  But given that retail is now broke -- like the Village of Deer Park -- they are eager to scare up new revenue. One person who is knowledgeable said: "We are confident that none of our cannabis consumers will object to paying a Deer Park sales tax on a product they didn't buy in Deer Park. What they don't know won't hurt them."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Ober the Re-Counter

Like Monty Python's Black Knight who, despite losing four limbs in battle, refuses to concede defeat, perennial candidate Jim Oberweis is a glutton for punishment.

Even though he declared victory on election night and flew to Washington DC for a new-Congressman orientation, Oberweis now wants a recount in the 14th Congressional District. Why? Because he lost by 5,356 votes:

Illinois election results: Oberweis asks for 'discovery recount' after Underwood's projected win in 14th District race
'Mr. Oberweis falsely declared victory with more than 20,000 votes outstanding. Now that he's officially lost, he wants a recount,' Underwood for Congress spokeswoman said

A dyed-in-the-wool spokesman for Ex-President Donald J Trump said: "Be sure to also steal some votes for Trump while you're at it!"

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Fudge Bar

This week's Golden McHenry County Blog Fractured Syntax Award™ goes to Lake County Board member Dick Barr. Lamenting the election night "blue wave" that swept over Lake County, Barr said:

"I'm stunningly surprised," he said. "There seems to be disconnect between politicians and issues. The values represent Republican ideas, but they voted for Democratic candidates who do not."
Final election tally confirms Lake County riding crest of a ‘blue wave’

What did Dick Barr mean? No one knows.

To find out, your LakeCountyEye ran the text through the Elmer Fudd Translator:

"I'm stunningwy suwpwised," he said. "Dewe seems to be disconnect between powiticians and issues. De vawues wepwesent Wepubwican ideos, but dey voted fow Democwatic candidates who do not."
ELMER FUDD TALK

Didn't help.

Illin'

There is no truth to the rumor that Republican maga-donors Liz and Dick Uihlein did not test positive for COVID-19:

Liz and Dick Uihlein, the Lake Forest couple who are mega-donor players in Illinois and national conservative and Republican politics who downplayed the impact of the COVID-19, have tested positive for the coronavirus, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported on Thursday.
Liz, Dick Uihlein, Lake Forest mega-donors and COVID-19 skeptics test positive for coronavirus

Were the Uihleins exposed to the coronavirus while in the office?

In March, the New York Times reported that Uline was requiring its workforce to stay on the job despite complaints from employees, including those crowded into its call centers. One Uline manager sent a note to employees urging them to downplay the illness. "If you, or family members, are under the weather with cold/allergies — or anything aside from Covid-19," it read, "Please do NOT tell your peers about the symptoms & your assumptions. By doing so, you are causing unnecessary panic in the office."
Uline founders Liz and Dick Uihlein test positive for COVID-19. She has criticized coronavirus restrictions.

No, the office is undoubtedly coronavirus-free, because ,,,

Sources said that Liz Uihlein had been in the Uline offices recently and did not wear a mask while there.
Uline founders Liz and Dick Uihlein test positive for COVID-19. She has criticized coronavirus restrictions.

Note to Ops: Why not chip in a couple bucks and buy the Uihlein's some face masks? They're only $12/carton from ULINE:

ULINE SURGICAL MASKS

It's for a good cause!

It's All Ober but the Shouting

It may not be cheap, but you can attend Fantasy Congressman-Elect Camp this year:

Jim Oberweis Friday posted a photo of himself at the Capitol for new member orientation, but he is not the projected winner of the race in Illinois' 14th District.
Jim Oberweis Attends House New Member Orientation Despite Projected Loss In Illinois’ 14th District

According to the Fantasy Congressman-Elect Camp brochure, perennial candidates can indulge in their fantasies of being a Congressman or Senator, if only for a day …

• Sit Where Davy Crockett Sat
  
  
• Earmark a Bill
  
  
• Observe a Congressional Liaison
  
  
• Four-Star Dining in the Congressional Cafeteria
  
  
• Visit that Congressional Budget Office that You've Read About
  
  
• Take a Congressional Recess
  
  
• Share a Beer with Justice Kavanaugh
  
  
• Two Days and One Night in Cosmopolitan Washington DC
  
  
• Trump Hotel Accommodations
  
  
• Masks Optional
  
  
• 2 Complimentary Tickets to the Jan 20 2021 Trump Inauguration
  
  
• Not Available to Actual Elected Congressmen
  
  
• Must be 18 or Older

Note to Ops: If you can afford it … Why Not?

Ober and Out

It's official. Perennial candidate Jim Oberweis has kept alive his perenniality streak. Oberweis failed to get elected to the 14th Congressional District:

AP declares Democrat US Rep. Lauren Underwood winner in Illinois’ 14th District over Republican Jim Oberweis

Typical of a perennial candidate, Oberweis prematurely declared victory on election night:

GOP Candidate Jim Oberweis Declares Victory, But Democrat Lauren Underwood Does Not Concede In Tight 14th Congressional District Race

And he refuses to concede, even after after losing:

AP projects Underwood to win 14th District, but Oberweis vows to fight on

One spokesman said: "Jim Oberweis has the qualities to be President!"

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Halloween Nut Bar

An actual unretouched screencap fron Dick Barr's Facebook page:

Barr is the Lake County Commissioner representing District 3. His term expires in 2022.

It's safe to say Dick Barr has Kyle Rittenhouse's vote on ice.

It Ain't Ober Til it's Ober

Note to Ops: OK, men, everyone who defeated Lauren Underwood in the 2020 election take one step forward.

Not so fast, there, Oberweis.

HaHa, perennial candidate Jim Oberweis says he is the winner in the 14th Congressional District:

Illinois State Sen. Jim Oberweis, owner of Oberweis Dairy, declared victory Wednesday in his quest to unseat Rep. Lauren Underwood (D-Illinois) in the 14th Congressional District.
GOP Candidate Jim Oberweis Declares Victory, But Democrat Lauren Underwood Does Not Concede In Tight 14th Congressional District Race

The numbers say otherwise. New vote-by-mail results released in Lake County give Underwood a 584 1,137 3,524 4,288 4,604 vote advantage over Oberweis. There are still more vote-by-mail ballots that have not been counted and Underwood's lead should be expected to grow.

It remains conceivable that Jim Oberweis could win in the 14th Congressional District. If not, Oberweis may take a job with the Trump administration. Where Donald Trump has declared victory over Joe Biden.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

The Most Democracy Money Can Buy

Who is the PEOTUS -- the President-Elect of the United States? To find out, your LakeCountyEye asked Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, visiting Trump University Professor at the College of Lake County.

"Ya", said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "This election is tighter than a strip-mall scalp reduction job."

It seemed to your LakeCountyEye that things are looking up for Joe Biden.

"Donald Trump may be down", sniffed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "but don't count him out."

Your LakeCountyEye noted the red flag.  Would Trump order the Supreme Court to throw the election in his favor?

"Don't make me laugh." chortled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "They ran that crude trick back in 2000. No, Trump is going to win in the Electoral College."

The Electoral College?

"The Electoral College." replied Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The voters don't vote for the President. State electors vote for the President."

Your LakeCountyEye did not follow.  Won't the electors vote for Biden?

"Yes, under ordinary circumstances. But this is an unordinary President." smiled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "In most states, Presdential electors can vote for any candidate they want. Regardless of how their state voted. If enough electors flip for Trump, then Trump wins."

Why would any presidential elector do that? Your LakeCountyEye wanted to know.

"If you have to ask, you'll never know. You know," whispered Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "there are very wealthy people who want Trump to win."

Your LakeCountyEye was not sure where this was going.

"Some of these wealthy plutocrats wouldn't mind having a presidential elector or two in his vest pocket." explained Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "You don't have to look far to find rich people who have given tens, even hundreds of millions to political causes. Even here in Lake County."

Bribery? Your LakeCountyEye was agog. Isn't bribing a presidential elector illegal?

"Show me in the Constitution where it is illegal to buy off a Presidential elector." chuckled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Let's suppose Biden wins the minimum 270 electoral votes.  Then Trump only needs to flip two electors.  How much would that cost one of these Trump Maga-donors? $2 million? $20 million?"

Your LakeCountyEye heard enough. Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your Operatives not to terminate their Mar-a-Lago memberships just yet."

Vote Like There's No Tomorrow

It has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that there is an election tomorrow. And for President of the United States.

Who knew? Not your LakeCountyEye.

Does anyone have plans to vote? Your LakeCountyEye has been told that a lot of time, money and effort goes into holding an election. And it would be embarrassing if no one showed up to vote.

Just Sayin!

The Costume Party

Halloween Life Hack: Put the kiddos in their hazmat suits before they go trick-or-treating. Then they will return germ-free -- and as an added bonus, you don't have to buy any costumes.

HaHa, there were some awful scary little devils working your LakeCountyEye's neighborhood today. These are the best costumes of 2020:


Third Place:
He says he is a doctor but he is actually a dentist. Doctor Howard Cooper may have a job waiting for him on the next Trump administration Coronavirus Task Force.

Second Place:
Mark Curran hasn't been Sheriff since 2018. But it never hurts to wear the uniform. Especially when making citizen's arrests on people violating social distance rules.

The Winner:
"If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?"

Boo!

Spread the Love

Do you crave herd immunity? Are you looking for the next Lake County GOP super-spreader fundraiser where you can flaunt your anti-masker street cred? Well wait no more. The Lake County GOP super-spreader has come to you:

Lake County residents will no longer be able to dine indoors at a restaurant, gather inside at a bar or congregate in groups of more than 25 as of 12:01 a.m. Saturday because of surging cases of COVID-19 in Lake and McHenry counties.
COVID numbers prompt stoppage of indoor restaurant and bar service in Lake, McHenry counties; ‘We simply need to stay in'

COVID-19 positivity rates now exceed 8% in Lake County.  One spin doctor said: "Why go to the trouble of attending a GOP super-spreader event at some crowded restaurant when you can now catch COVID from the comfort of your home?"

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Camouflage Uniform

If there is a super-spreader fundraiser nearby, then sure as shootin' you will find someone from the Lake County GOP there. Last week, the super-spreader event was a Trump rally in Janesville Wisconsin. And the someone was Lake County Ex-Sheriff Mark Curran:

Despite campaigning in a jurisdiction where he is not on the ballot, did you know that Mark Curran is a candidate for US Senate in Illinois? Your LakeCountyEye did not.

Of course, Curran has campaign yardsigns planted illegally by the public roads:

But is Curran really running for US Senate? Sharpeyed operatives will observe that is the uniform of the Lake County Sheriff. And that Curran has not been Sheriff since 2018.

It should be obvious that Curran would not be campaigning under blatantly false pretenses. No, that must be Mark Curran in his Halloween costume and the signs are a promotion for a haunted house.

Scary!

Cheese Spreader

Stricken by the after-effects of their super-spreader fundraiser in Lake Forest, the Lake County Republicans held their next one in Wisconsin. Lake County GOP favorite son Mark Curran was observed in Janesville not wearing a mask, disregarding social distancing norms and in close proximity to P∅TUS -- the Patient Zero of the United States:

When asked what Curran -- an Illinois candidate for US Senate -- was doing north of the border so close to the election, a spokesman said: "There is scarcely a soul anywhere who did not vote early already. Our candidate had to go up to Wisconsin to find voters who haven't cast a ballot in Illinois."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.