Thursday, April 2, 2020

Old Mill Creek Hack

Does anyone need a taxi in Grand Prairie? As in Alberta? As in Canada?

If extreme social distancing is your preference, then Old Mill Creek has your back. The Village of Old Mill Creek website is, for all intents and purposes, an online SEO ad for an Alberta taxi service:


Fantastic Reasons on Why You Should Hire a Taxi
Some occasion calls for an epic party, and what better way to celebrate than to roll like a Rockstar in the middle of the city? Indulge your guests and give them a party experience they have never experienced before, a party on Wheels! Limousines are good, but a Grande Prairie Taxi is excellent, here's why.
Village of Old Mill Creek
Can't remember who to call? Use this handy mnemonic:
Think of Grand Theft Auto.
Only instead of Auto, think of Taxi.
And think of Prairie, instead of Theft.

Sunday, March 29, 2020

It's a Long Way to Gary

An actual unretouched screencap from the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 source of fakenews:

Lake County Councilman Charlie Brown (D-Gary) recently challenged the need for a $25,000 overtime funding request from the Lake County Public Works Department in light of the mild winter. "Something doesn't smell right," Brown said during a meeting of the council.
Lake County Council split by $25,000 overtime request late in snow season
Note to Ops: While it may be the largest municipality in Lake County Indiana, that is still no way to talk about the City of Gary.

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Orange is the New Black Death

Today at 12:01pm an agent of the Federal Government hand delivered to your LakeCountyEye President Trump's Coronavirus Guidelines for America.

Note to Ops: It may defeat the purpose to communicate instructions for combatting a highly infectious pandemic via the US Mail. People these days are even afraid to touch their mailboxes. Just Sayin!

Having no such qualms (along with a Hazmat Suit from the last chemical spill) your LakeCountyEye secured an unredacted copy of President Trump's Coronavirus Guidelines. So you don't have to.
To be sure, these are desperate times. Could there be a more trusted source of vitally important & reliable medical facts, other than legitimate businessman and US President, Donald John Trump? Your LakeCountyEye does not think so. Here's the Trump Ten:
Donald J Trump's 10 Big Beautiful Tricks for Finagling the Coronavirus
  1. Stock up on toilet paper. They aren't making it any more.

  2. Spray-on tan is as effective as a face mask.

  3. COVID-19 will be rebranded as COVFEFE-19.

  4. The Justice Dept has given President Trump total immunity.

  5. Avoid Chinese restaurants.

  6. A 6-foot social distance is about as far as you can swing a golf club.

  7. Lost your job? Use that free time to plan a vacation at a TRUMP Casino or Resort.

  8. Not everyone has bone spurs. Tell your draft board you have the Coronavirus.

  9. If your State wants Federal dollars then you better start investigating Hunter Biden.

  10. President Trump's hair is not on fire.
Look for your LakeCountyEye sheltering in place near you.

Monday, March 23, 2020

Ay Corona!

Your LakeCountyEye
In compliance with the Trump Administration's suspension of habeas corpus and declaration of martial law, your LakeCountyEye will be blogging from home for the foreseeable future.

In his inaugral address, President Trump said, "We shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty." And likewise your LakeCountyEye is prepared to spare no sacrifice for the good of the nation. At least until that coronavirus rescue check arrives from the government.

Note to Ops: Your generous donations will ensure that your LakeCountyEye remains online 24/7, while maintaining a 6-foot social distance from you.

Items of vital need:
  • Cheetos
  • Mountain Dew
  • Toilet Paper
  • Hand Sanitizer
  • Scrunchies
Remember: only if everyone works together will your LakeCountyEye make it through these difficult times.

Thursday, March 19, 2020

There's No Need to Fear

Who says voting is a waste of time? On Tuesday, Lake County favorite son Mark Curran became the elected US Senator of the Illinois Republican Party.

Despite running virtually unopposed, Curran managed to beat 4 other also-rans and is now a GOP candidate for US Senate.  In his victory speech, Curran talked about the Saturday morning cartoon shows:
"People like those stories," Curran said Wednesday. "They like the underdog -- as long as it's not an underdog that bores them."
Curran knows he's an underdog against Durbin -- but voters "like the underdog"
Mark Curran has every right to fancy himself the not-boring Underdog. But frankly your LakeCountyEye doesn't see the resemblance:
Then again, if Curran ever wanted a part in an Underdog cartoon, he be shoo-in for the role of Cad Lackey:

Mark Curran

Cad Lackey

Not plane, nor bird, nor even frog,
it's just another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!
Note to Mark Curran campaign Operatives: Don't sell your candidate short!

Saturday, March 14, 2020

Corona Vote

Did the Trump administration allow the Coronavirus to become a pandemic as part of their strategic effort to suppress voter turnout? If so, the plan backfired. The Coronavirus is suppressing the vote of those over 50, in poor health, maybe addicted to tobacco and other substances, with little education, and no health insurance.

HaHa, Operatives are asked to observe the 100 foot rule when they go to the polls. Make sure you stay at least 100 feet away from anyone with a temperature above 100 degrees. It's the law!

If there is a long line at your poll, please do not be deterred. Many of these people will be panic shoppers. Who think they got in a grocery line for a $20 gallon jug of Purell.

Hoarders Alert: Everyone who goes to the polls this year will get a free roll of toilet paper ...
The Primary Election is March 17, next Tuesday. Vote early and vote absentee.

Tuesday, March 10, 2020

6 Guns Rvr Vu

Is that a gun in your pocket?
Your LakeCountyEye went to an Airbnb gunfight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

Haha, the latest Airbnb shootout was held in Barrington Hills:
Authorities continue to investigate the fatal shooting of a man during a house party early Saturday at a rented Barrington Hills home, but they offered no new details about the slaying or the victim's identity Sunday.
Police: Investigation into deadly Barrington Hills shooting continues
Barrington Hills Mayor Martin McLaughlin (who is also a candidate for State Representative) perhaps needed to inoculate himself against a village fatality occurring on his watch.  If not, why was McLaughlin quick to point his finger at Airbnb?
Barrington Hills Mayor Martin McLaughlin said Airbnb rentals are prohibited by village regulations. "If this was a commercial enterprise that was renting property without a homeowner present, then that already does not comply with our current village code, and that would be a violation," he said.
Police: Investigation into deadly Barrington Hills shooting continues
It should be noted that Martin McLaughlin, who strongly opposes more restrictive gun control laws, believes that individual rights should not be infringed by government regulations:
I believe that government is never a solution to problems but rather in most cases is the problem itself.
Candidate Profile Martin McLaughlin
It is unknown whether or not homicide complies with current Barrington Hills village code.

Saturday, March 7, 2020

Out and About

orange you glad I didn't say banana
Lake County honorary former Republican Congressman Aaron Schock is in the news:
Former conservative congressman Aaron Schock, of Peoria, published a lengthy note on social media, starting simply "I am gay" and taking aim at both news outlets as well as overzealous federal prosecutors who charged him with using his campaign fund as a private piggy bank — only to later drop the charges.
Former U.S. Rep. Aaron Schock: ‘I am gay’
What's next for this erstwhile rising GOP star? Your LakeCountyEye observes that the former office holder never held a real job besides holding some office or other. So do not be surprised if this signals his return to electoral politics. If Richard Nixon can pull off a successful comeback anyone can.

Is there room in today's Republican Party for someone who was forced, mid-term, to resign from a powerful elected position and who has also come out of the closet? Your LakeCountyEye suspects that even an honorary Lake County GOP politician can read the writing on that big beautiful wall.

Wednesday, March 4, 2020

Discussion About Super Tuesday

Here is your chance to discuss “Super Tuesday", the Illinois primary, and more.
  • Saturday
    March 7 2020
    1:00 pm

  • Lake Villa District Library
    40 N Munn Rd
    Lindenhurst

  • RSVP:
    (847) 266-VOTE (8683)
    Let's Talk Politics
Let's Talk Politics is a moderated discussion and allows opportunities for voters to talk about important issues of the day with each other.

Sponsored by Lake County Democrats, Tenth Dems, Lake Villa Democrats.

Sunday, March 1, 2020

Mclickbait

It has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that news items about the McHenry County Blog have appeared here without proper attribution:
Portendous
Reliable sources tell your LakeCountyEye that political blogsites do not generate any ad revenue unless people are clicking on that blogsite. And that in the case of the McHenry County Blog, tirelessly fighting taxes does not come cheap. No matter how many government pensions one may be living on.

In the way of a mea culpa, your LakeCountyEye admits that it is getting difficult to remember to take the Prevagen pills on a regular basis.

To offset any lost revenues, your LakeCountyEye will post a link to the McHenry County Blog below:

McHenry County Blog
Operatives are encouraged to click the link above, so that they may partake of the full McHenry County Blog experience.

Thursday, February 27, 2020

No Bologna on the Corona

The Coronavirus: Apocalyptic Pandemic? Or media-fired mass hysteria?

To find out, your LakeCountyEye asked Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Viral Marketing at the College of Lake County.

Your LakeCountyEye dug up Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi inside a sterile room at an undisclosed location.

"Ya." said Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The Trump Administration is partnering with local mosquito control organizations to make sure this coronovirus never sees the light of day."

Your LakeCountyEye was confused. Local mosquito control organizations?

"The North Shore Mosquito Abatement District. The Northwest Mosquito Abatement District. The Southlake Mosquito Abatement District. Clarke Mosquito." replied Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "All the major sprayers. The biggest, most tremendous sprayers!"

Your LakeCountyEye now was nonplussed. The Trump administration is going to contain the coronavirus by spraying mosquitoes? Surely he wasn't serious.

Crickets ... finally Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi said "Why not?"

Because it is February?

"It's never too early to get a jumpstart on the competition." sighed Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The alternative is to miss the boat and sink like the Titanic."

Your LakeCountyEye was all like, but there is no scientific evidence that the coronavirus is spread by mosquitoes.

"Fake science." sniffed Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "And by that I mean there is no fake science evidence that the coronavirus is spread by mosquitoes."

Your LakeCountyEye produced a news item on the mobile device:
The world's largest manufacturer of chlorpyrifos, an agricultural pesticide linked to brain damage in children, has announced that it will stop producing the chemical by the end of the year.
Largest maker of pesticide linked to brain damage in kids to stop producing chemical
Announcement comes after Trump administration reversed plans to ban chlorpyrifos and rejected scientific conclusions of experts
And your LakeCounytEye thought out loud, whoa now, did that say they won't be manufacturing your insecticide any more?

Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi smirked. "We obtain all our nerve agents from eBay. Where the insecticides are tax free!"

Your LakeCountyEye heard enough. Did Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your Operatives that now is the time to invest in the Stock Market. Prices have been slashed in the petro-chemical sector!"
Mosquitomist Two U.L.V.

Monday, February 24, 2020

Drop a Dime

Sportsbook
The Illinois March 17 Primary is a short three weeks away. And to operatives throughout Lake County, this reminder means one thing: Have you filled out your 2020 NCAA March Madness bracket yet?

If you haven't already, you can pick up a bracket card at the Waukegan Casino.

HaHa, j/k:
As the city of Waukegan waits to hear which developer will receive the Illinois Gaming Board's blessing to build a casino, city officials are looking into what infrastructure upgrades might be needed around a facility and how they'll pay for them.
Expanded Tri-State access at Route 120 among infrastructure improvements eyed by Waukegan while awaiting casino license
Of course you need to be in Waukegan when the casino opens if you want to be close to the action.  But don't go and park your RV in the Amstutz breakdown lane just yet.  Your LakeCountyEye has learned that the Waukegan Casino will not be built in Waukegan, after all.  No, the casino has been awarded to a high bidder in Mettawa:
Mettawa Mayor Casey Urlacher resigned from his post on the Illinois Civil Service Commission on Friday, a day after federal prosecutors named him as one of 10 defendants indicted in connection with an illegal sports betting ring.
Embattled Mettawa Mayor Casey Urlacher resigns from Illinois Civil Service Commission
You heard it here first -- bet the farm!

Friday, February 21, 2020

Portendous

An actual unretouched screencap from the McHenry County Blog:
Note to Ops: The tiredout taxfighters at the McHenry County Blog are not even portending to be literate any more.

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

Voter Contact Training for Grassroots Activists

Learn about effective voter contact. A training is scheduled for local Illinois Democratic precinct committeepeople and grassroots activists.
  • Sunday
    February 23 2020
    4:00 pm

  • Sullivan Community Center
    635 N Aspen Dr
    Vernon Hills

  • RSVP:
    (847) 266-VOTE (8683)
    tenthdems.org/training
Various presidential campaigns and local candidates will have representatives available to provide speaking tips and encouragement.

Sponsored by Lake Dems, Tenth Dems, Sixth Dems, Fremont Dems, and Vernon Dems.