Thursday, February 27, 2020

No Bologna on the Corona

The Coronavirus: Apocalyptic Pandemic? Or media-fired mass hysteria?

To find out, your LakeCountyEye asked Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Viral Marketing at the College of Lake County.

Your LakeCountyEye dug up Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi inside a sterile room at an undisclosed location.

"Ya." said Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The Trump Administration is partnering with local mosquito control organizations to make sure this coronovirus never sees the light of day."

Your LakeCountyEye was confused. Local mosquito control organizations?

"The North Shore Mosquito Abatement District. The Northwest Mosquito Abatement District. The Southlake Mosquito Abatement District. Clarke Mosquito." replied Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "All the major sprayers. The biggest, most tremendous sprayers!"

Your LakeCountyEye now was nonplussed. The Trump administration is going to contain the coronavirus by spraying mosquitoes? Surely he wasn't serious.

Crickets ... finally Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi said "Why not?"

Because it is February?

"It's never too early to get a jumpstart on the competition." sighed Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The alternative is to miss the boat and sink like the Titanic."

Your LakeCountyEye was all like, but there is no scientific evidence that the coronavirus is spread by mosquitoes.

"Fake science." sniffed Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "And by that I mean there is no fake science evidence that the coronavirus is spread by mosquitoes."

Your LakeCountyEye produced a news item on the mobile device:
The world's largest manufacturer of chlorpyrifos, an agricultural pesticide linked to brain damage in children, has announced that it will stop producing the chemical by the end of the year.
Largest maker of pesticide linked to brain damage in kids to stop producing chemical
Announcement comes after Trump administration reversed plans to ban chlorpyrifos and rejected scientific conclusions of experts
And your LakeCounytEye thought out loud, whoa now, did that say they won't be manufacturing your insecticide any more?

Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi smirked. "We obtain all our nerve agents from eBay. Where the insecticides are tax free!"

Your LakeCountyEye heard enough. Did Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your Operatives that now is the time to invest in the Stock Market. Prices have been slashed in the petro-chemical sector!"
Mosquitomist Two U.L.V.

Monday, February 24, 2020

Drop a Dime

The Illinois March 17 Primary is a short three weeks away. And to operatives throughout Lake County, this reminder means one thing: Have you filled out your 2020 NCAA March Madness bracket yet?

If you haven't already, you can pick up a bracket card at the Waukegan Casino.

HaHa, j/k:
As the city of Waukegan waits to hear which developer will receive the Illinois Gaming Board's blessing to build a casino, city officials are looking into what infrastructure upgrades might be needed around a facility and how they'll pay for them.
Expanded Tri-State access at Route 120 among infrastructure improvements eyed by Waukegan while awaiting casino license
Of course you need to be in Waukegan when the casino opens if you want to be close to the action.  But don't go and park your RV in the Amstutz breakdown lane just yet.  Your LakeCountyEye has learned that the Waukegan Casino will not be built in Waukegan, after all.  No, the casino has been awarded to a high bidder in Mettawa:
Mettawa Mayor Casey Urlacher resigned from his post on the Illinois Civil Service Commission on Friday, a day after federal prosecutors named him as one of 10 defendants indicted in connection with an illegal sports betting ring.
Embattled Mettawa Mayor Casey Urlacher resigns from Illinois Civil Service Commission
You heard it here first -- bet the farm!

Friday, February 21, 2020


An actual unretouched screencap from the McHenry County Blog:
Note to Ops: The tiredout taxfighters at the McHenry County Blog are not even portending to be literate any more.

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

Voter Contact Training for Grassroots Activists

Learn about effective voter contact. A training is scheduled for local Illinois Democratic precinct committeepeople and grassroots activists.
  • Sunday
    February 23 2020
    4:00 pm

  • Sullivan Community Center
    635 N Aspen Dr
    Vernon Hills

  • RSVP:
    (847) 266-VOTE (8683)
Various presidential campaigns and local candidates will have representatives available to provide speaking tips and encouragement.

Sponsored by Lake Dems, Tenth Dems, Sixth Dems, Fremont Dems, and Vernon Dems.

Monday, February 17, 2020

Going Viral

Close, but no cigar.
Have you tested positive for Coronavirus yet? If you have, your health department wants your coordinates:
Since a case of the coronavirus was detected last Friday in Chicago, Lake and McHenry counties' health departments actively have been monitoring the novel coronavirus situation. There have been no coronavirus cases detected in Lake and McHenry counties at this time, according to local health officials.
Lake, McHenry counties closely monitoring coronavirus, warn of flu
confusionImmediate health risk remains low, health officials say
Note to Ops: Your best defense against infection is your underground bunker.  And it's not too late to order your locally sourced Medline Hazmat Suit:
Zytron 200 Chemical Protection Suit by Kappler
If, however, your budget does not permit a capital expenditure against personal protective equipment, then do as your LakeCountyEye does: Stockpile up on disinfectant.

As readers of this blog are aware ...
eBay is Collecting Illinois Sales Tax
Agriculture-grade insecticides are available tax-free on eBay:
Certain chemicals used in farming like insecticides and poultry remedies should also be tax-free.
eBay Charges Tax On Some Exempt Items In Illinois After New Law
Better safe than sorry!

Friday, February 14, 2020

Open Air Guitar

not to scale
Can it really be true that the Village of Mundelein is planning a municipal park dedicated to the electric guitar?

Well duh:
Plans for a new municipal park on the site of a former guitar factory in Mundelein got rave reviews from village officials this week.
Could a park with a guitar-inspired promenade replace vacant factory in Mundelein?
One knowledgeable official said the park will be an all-natural wooded area: "Shredders will be on site."

Bring your own axe.

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Now pick a lane.

Sunday, February 9, 2020

Passing in the Wind

Many are called few are chosen.
It has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that there will be a primary election on March 17. And in Illinois. Who knew? Not your LakeCountyEye.

Ex-Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran will be on the ballot, this time wrestling for US Senator. According to the Daily Herald:
The Republican candidates in the March 17 primary are retired information technology professional Casey Chlebek of Glenview; former Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran of Libertyville; former police officer Peggy Hubbard of Belleville; Dr. Robert Marshall, a physician from Burr Ridge; and Dr. Tom Tarter, a urological oncologist from Springfield.
Republican Senate candidates haven't done much fundraising
Your LakeCountyEye recognizes the aforementioned Mark Curran. While perennial candidate Robert Marshall wants to break up the State of Illinois into a southern slave state and a northern free state.  But who are the other jackdaws? Nobody knows.

What kind of Senator would Curran be? He would probably be a reliable vote to acquit at the next impeachment trial of Donald John Trump. And he would have all the MAGA voters in the tank.

The datapoints all point in one direction and that direction is straight out and beyond: Lake County favorite son Mark Curran will be the next Illinois US Senatorial candidate.

Take that to the bank!

Friday, February 7, 2020

No Joe

collector's item
Does anyone know who won the Iowa Caucus? Was it Joe Walsh or Donald Trump?

If anyone won, it was not Joe Walsh:
With meager funding and backlash from his own party, it seemed inevitable outlier Republican Joe Walsh would end his primary challenge to President Donald Trump.
Walsh ends GOP presidential campaign but says fight against Trump isn't over
Iowa voters seem to have decided that the Republican Party does not have room for more than one primary candidate with expensive hair.

A knowledgeable political veteran  told your LakeCountyEye: "Running on an assumption that your opponent will be impeached is not a bankable campaign strategy."

What next for Ex-Presidential Candidate Joe Walsh? A campaign insider said: "Don't rule out Joe quite yet. There are rumors that the Ukrainians will hack the Republican Primary."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Monday, February 3, 2020

Alternating Curran

This is not the waiting room at the urologist:
The animated GIF shows Ex-Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran talking to a Grayslake police detective.

And they are not talking about where to be on the lookout for speed traps. No, radio personality William J Kelly filed criminal assault charges against Curran.

One high ranking Republican official, who spoke under conditions of anonymity, said the charges were "a witch hunt" and "a sham" and "a hoax" and that "nothing was done wrong, zero was done wrong.”

In related news, Mark Curran is on the ballot for US Senator.