Monday, December 28, 2015

A Coalition of the Unwilling

coal: the other white meat If there was a fly on the wall at the last Waukegan City Council meeting, it was eaten by the canary in the coal-mine. According to the News-Sun ...
An official with New Jersey-based NRG Energy reiterated this week that its Waukegan Generating Station will continue to function as a coal-burning plant indefinitely despite ongoing calls by local environmental groups for the company and the city to publicly detail long-term plans for the lakefront site. More than two dozen members of Clean Power Lake County and the Sierra Club attended last week's City Council meeting to present what they said were more than 2,000 petitions signed by Waukegan residents calling for a task force to study options for plant operation and future land use.
Despite protests, Waukegan power plant to burn coal indefinitely
In related news, Santa Claus released his post-holiday audit. The ledgers show a significant uptick in lumps of coal delivered to stockings in Lake County.

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Now dash away, dash away, dash away all.

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Cold Caller

He's making a list. He's checking it twice.In Waukegan, he will be instantly recognized. He has white hair. He has a white beard. He has been sent out into the cold and goes ring-ring ring-ring ring-ring ring-ring ring-ring.

If you guessed the Salvation Army Santa, give yourself a lump of coal. The correct answer is former Lake County State's Attorney (and a founding member of the Waukegan Emergency Telephone System Board) Michael Waller.

Haha, according to the News-Sun ...
Waukegan Mayor Wayne Motley has announced that former Lake County State's Attorney Michael Waller — one of the founding members of the city's Emergency Telephone System Board — will not be reappointed to another term. Both Waller and Motley said this week that the decision was unrelated to criticism Waller has faced in light of several disastrous prosecutions.
Embattled ex-Lake County prosecutor leaves Waukegan's 911 board
It is not known if Waller plans to file a lawsuit against Lake County for wrongful eviction. Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Godwin's Law

Although today marks the winter solstice, it may already be springtime for Hitler. The international symbol for evil incarnate, Adolf Hitler has been getting a lot of press lately. Even the Daily Herald has jumped on the bandwagon ...

"FILE - In this Dec. 5, 2013 file photo Adolf Hitler, leader of the National Socialists, emerges from the party's Munich headquarters."
Records show Hitler enjoyed special treatment in prison
It should be noted that Mr Hitler has been looking very relaxed in more recent file photos. Small wonder, he commands a comfortable double-digit advantage in all the presidential polls.

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Hot Numbers

Who is polling all the Lake County Republicans these days? The News-Sun is on the story ...

"Lake County Republican Federation President Larry Falbe (left) showing County Board Chairman Aaron Lawlor and LCRF Executive Committee member Chris Foreman results of the straw poll (Posted by erin0000060, Community Contributor)"
Lake County Republican Federation Announces Results of Presidential Straw Poll
Your LakeCountyEye would be remiss not to note that Lake County Republican Federation President Larry Falbe (left) never looked better. Photographic proof that a December tan, facial scruff and shredded physique are guaranteed to turn any bean counter into the chairman of the board!

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Uneasy Marks

James Marter
Under ordinary circumstances, Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran would have announced that he will be a candidate for Lake County Coroner. However this election cycle has been anything but ordinary. So yesterday Curran, instead, endorsed US Senator Mark Kirk's opponent in the March Primary. According to the Daily Herald ...
GOP Senate hopeful James Marter of Oswego announced the endorsement by Curran on Tuesday. "Mark Kirk may have spent significant time attending to the needs of the Cook County law enforcement, but has done nothing for the Lake County sheriff's office," Curran said in a statement. The comment drew a swift rebuke from Lake County Board Chairman Aaron Lawlor, who backs Kirk.
Lake sheriff backs Kirk opponent for U.S. Senate
As of this posting, Mark Curran has not switched his endorsement of James Marter to someone else. But your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Sunday, December 13, 2015

On the Beat

... and without missing a beet! If a tree fell on the Amstutz Expressway would anyone care? To test the hypothesis, the City of Waukegan shut down the beleaguered freeway last week. According to the News-Sun ...
The Amstutz Expressway in Waukegan is scheduled to be shut down from 9 a.m. to 11 p.m. Monday for the filming of a TV commercial, another in a series of temporary closures of the roadway over the years by film productions.
TV commercial shoot will close Amstutz Expressway Monday
Local residents were polled for their reaction, and were asked: "How do you beat the rat race in Waukegan?"

One public servant told the pollster "with a tire iron."

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Beat it.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

The Rain of Terror

Ordinarily the City of Highland Park would be up in arms. But the Supreme Court declined to lift the ban on their assault weapons. The News-Sun says ...
The U.S. Supreme Court's refusal Monday to take up a challenge to Highland Park's ban on assault weapons protects similar restrictions in Chicago and other parts of Illinois and sends a message that municipalities have the right to determine how to best protect their communities, according to legal experts. The lack of action was a blow to the National Rifle Association and other pro-gun advocates who had hoped the high court would issue a ruling that once and for all clarified whether weapons such as AK-47s, AR-15s and Uzis are protected under the Constitution.
Supreme Court rejection of gun case considered a victory by Highland Park
When the issue is a blow of any kind, your LakeCountyEye immediately thinks of Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Ordnance Professor at the College of Lake County.

"The Supreme Court just kneecapped their holiday celebration, over in Highland Park." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Everyone gathers at Port Clinton Square on New Years to fire their AR-15s."

Your LakeCountyEye was under the impression this was a safety concern.

"Safe for the terrorists, maybe." grimaced Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The word on the street is that Highland Park has been disarmed. I've heard that the terrorists have all the B&B rooms there booked up straight through Valentines Day."

An unwelcome development.

"Ya." agreed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Highland Park has become a mecca for the radicals."

Was Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi making like Donald Trump?

"Mr Trump says the Muslims are not welcome here." shot back Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "But he is pandering to the prejudice of his supporters with a gross and inadequate stereotype."

The blaggard.

"Studies show there are specific, well-defined demographic populations who are a clear and present danger to themselves and others. Religious extremists, drug dealers, whack jobs, to name a few. And they all share a common mental disorder. The clinicians classify them as douchebags with guns."


"Don't be surprised if you're not familiar with the term." explained Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The latest DSM-5 only recently identified these douchebags as anyone in possession of a weapon who would be hardpressed, if asked, to hold their nose -- let alone a firearm."

Your LakeCountyEye did not know that.

"I agree with Mr Trump that the borders need to be sealed." explained Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "But if we are serious about protecting ourselves, then it is the douchebags with guns who need to be kept out."

Your LakeCountyEye felt safer (but not safe) already. Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Remind your Operatives that if all our guns get douched, then only douchebags will have guns."

Friday, December 4, 2015

The Peter Roskam Principles: Divide & Conquer

Bonjourno, as they say in Benghazi, Italy. You probably don't know who I am. My name is Peter Roskam, the vestigial Congressman of Lake County. I've agreed to conduct this virtual townhall meeting for the benefit of this blog ... but more importantly this is my opportunity for me -- U.S. Congressman Peter Roskam -- to better get to know, and fraternize with you, my constituents.
Has this ever happened to you? Your hardworking staff works overtime long hours and weekends to ensure that you, Peter Roskam, are safely on the 2016 election ballot:

Candidate List -- GENERAL PRIMARY -- 3/15/2016
Only you wake up that very same day and discover that you, Peter Roskam, have been primaried. And not only that, but primaried by some guy named Gordon Kinzler. Just who is Gordon Kinzler anyways, and why isn't he voting for his Congressman in Washington, Peter Roskam? Staff says he must be some teaparty deadender:

Candidate List -- GENERAL PRIMARY -- 3/15/2016
Now you are probably wondering, why am I -- Peter Roskam, 5-term Congressman, former Chief Deputy Whip and current member of the House Benghazi Committee -- worried about some teaparty deadender who is on the same ballot against a 5-term Congressman, Peter Roskam? Well, the answer in a word is two little words: Eric Cantor. Eric Cantor, you will recall was the 7-term Congressman and House Majority Leader, who got challenged by a teaparty deadender (some guy named Dave Brat) in the 2014 primary. Long story short, I've been told that Mr Cantor currently manages a 24-hour Chipotle in Bethesda.

Well, I informed my staff in no uncertain terms that this would not do. I immediately got on the horn and made some phone calls. And one week later, on the last petition filing day, lo and behold there were three names on that same ballot:

Candidate List -- GENERAL PRIMARY -- 3/15/2016
I, Peter Roskam, will let you in on a little secret.  A wise man -- who was named H.L. Mencken (and not Peter Roskam) -- once said: "No one ever lost an election underestimating the intelligence of the American voter." So when John Q Teaparty-Voter goes to cast his ballot against Peter Roskam next year, he won't know the difference between a Gordon Kinzler and a Gerald Drabik -- or between a Peter Roskam for that matter. This is an example of Peter Roskam's Divide and Conquer principle: divide the opposition vote, and virtually ensure that 5-term Congressman Peter Roskam will be well on his way to being 6-term Congressman Peter Roskam.
This is Peter Roskam reminding you that if you keep true to your principles you will never have to see the insides of a D.C.-area Chipotle.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

The Lackey Doth Request Too Much

It is guaranteed by the Illinois Constitution: you have a fundamental right see your candidate for office removed from the ballot. In Lake County, the ballot action is in the 6th Congressional District, where an epic number of candidates (five) have filed:

Candidate List
One sole individual requested the petitions of four of these candidates -- all with the exception of Peter Roskam:
Who is this assiduous requestor? The shutterbugs at the McHenryCountyBlog snapped an old photo of David Rivera in a Roskam for Congress teeshirt:
Although Congressman Peter Roskam was absent, campaign worker David Rivera was there to carry the flag ... or at least wear the tee shirt.
Pro-Life Pig Roast at Irene Napier’s Farm
The US House of Representatives Telephone Directory lists David Rivera as Congressman Peter Roskam's "outreach rep":
US House of Representatives Telephone Directory
... while zoominfo says that Rivera is Roskam's "Outreach Coordinator":
David Rivera | Outreach Coordinator
What does a Congressional Outreach Coordinator do? As far as your LakeCountyEye can tell, he is the guy you turn to when you want to reach out and knock someone off the ballot.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Chinese Take Out

the gang of five
Q:How many Chinese hackers does it take to hijack the Village of Lakemoor website?
A:Ha ha ha, of course they do.

If you answered correctly then the joke is on you. The Daily Herald said that when Chinese hackers took down Lakemoor's website in September ...
The village summoned its technology consultant to investigate. For a time, the website remained visible. Then it went black. A check of the activity log showed attempted and actual log ins from an address in China
Lakemoor uses hack as opportunity to improve website
Whenever fact is stranger than fiction, your LakeCountyEye summons Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of sino.cyber.spycraft at the College of Lake County.

"Ya," said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The tiny Village of Lakemoor has a bigger case of Chinese crackers on its hands than a fortune cookie factory."

Your LakeCountyEye was at a loss to why the Chinese would hack the Lakemoor website.

"They probably were not applying online for a building permit on a laundromat." deadpanned Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Some think it was a training exercise. When young Chinese boys and girls go to hacker school, they start out practicing on easy targets."

Like Hogwarts?

"No, like the Village of Lakemoor." replied Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi.

Your LakeCountyEye whipped out the BlackBerry, and produced a news clipping:
More than 50,000 vehicles pass through the intersection of routes 12 and 120 in Lakemoor every day. Village officials need 50 of those drivers to get caught by red-light cameras and pay $100 fines to hit this year's $1.8 million revenue target.
Tiny Lakemoor gets big bucks from red-light cameras
"Ya, who hasn't hacked into a municipal website to expunge a red-light camera violation?" asked Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "But I daresay the Chinese have bigger fish in their gunsites. A fish to the tune of $1.8 million."

The Chinese hackers stole $1.8 million?

"I said big fish. $1.8 million is small potatoes." chuckled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi.  "If that was me, I would hack into the camera system and get a livestream of the video feed."

The Chinese are spying on Lake County?

"Don't be silly." smiled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "They could use that video to mail out their own traffic tickets."

Your LakeCountyEye heard enough. Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your Lakemoor operatives to watch their speed when they are on Route 12. And if they do get a ticket in the mail, be sure to doublecheck that the return address is in English."

Thursday, November 26, 2015

There's Snow Business

pay with a smile Lake County is cleaning up from Snow-liath 2015, the world's tallest wooden snowstorm. The tiny Village of Lakemoor cleaned up in particular. That's because, as the Daily Herald observed ...
More than 50,000 vehicles pass through the intersection of routes 12 and 120 in Lakemoor every day. Village officials need 50 of those drivers to get caught by red-light cameras and pay $100 fines to hit this year's $1.8 million revenue target. That's 36 percent of Lakemoor's total expected income for this year.
Tiny Lakemoor gets big bucks from red-light cameras
Your LakeCountyEye learned that at least as many drivers slid through the intersection at Rte 12 and Rte 120 during the blizzard last weekend. "We may as well put a freeze on our revenue generating efforts," said one official. "Everything from from now through the end of the year is icing on the cake."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

A Winter Blast

NIMBY Did you hear the one about the NRA member who skidded into a snowbank? He could not escape, even after he gunned the engine. Haha, while you wait for roadside assistance to arrive, your LakeCountyEye has compiled a pop-quiz:
Where is the "Murder Capital" of Illinois?
(A) Cook County
(B) McHenry County
Those who guessed (A) may want to reread this CBSChicago story:
For Cook County, the rate of gun deaths between 2004 and 2010 was 9.31 with a population of 5,188,229 people. The rate of McHenry County, which is just to the northwest of Cook County and has a population of 301,728 people, was slightly higher: 9.41
Cook County’s Rate Of Gun Deaths Low Compared To Some Neighbors, Southern States
As a consequence of these grim statistics, refugees are fleeing gun violence in McHenry County. Most seek safety and a better life in Cook County. Combine that with porous borders around Lake County, and it is not hard to see that a humanitarian disaster is immanent.

Your LakeCountyEye has learned that the Mayor of Cook County promised to block McHenry refugees from entering his County. Not to be outdone, Governor Bruce Rauner announced that Illinois would temporarily stop accepting McHenry County refugees, in the aftermath of these gun violence statistics.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

The Plane Facts

The International House of Pancakes may have to name a pancake in honor of Peter Roskam if he books any more international flights.
Beneath the pancake lies another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!
Haha, Roskam has logged more overseas air miles than any other Illinois Rep in Washington:

Where Illinois lawmakers traveled
While International may not be Peter Roskam's middle name, it is the address of the Lake County Congressman's constituent services office:
Peter Roskam Federal Government Office
2700 International Drive
Suite 304
West Chicago, IL 60185
District Offices
The address, as some Operatives may know, is in the DuPage County Airport. A sweet deal by any standard, Roskam maintains a constituent services office inside an airport terminal. Conventional wisdom notes that this makes the office both hard to find, and within a perimeter of airport security. Both of which will tend to discourage constituents from requesting services from their Congressman. Such as funding for Planned Parenthood and things of that nature.

Your LakeCountyEye has learned, however, that nothing is further from the truth. One source explained that the Congressman's job simply requires him to spend a lot of time in airports. Willie Sutton said he robbed banks because that's where the money is. Your LakeCountyEye's source says that Peter Roskam's office is in the DuPage Airport because "that's where the airplanes are."

Monday, November 16, 2015

Mr Roskam Goes to TBD

Old Blood and Guts Unless Peter Roskam legally changed his name to Paul Ryan, he is not Speaker of the House yet. Haha, Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, will have to wait in line to be third-in-line for the presidency -- the new Speaker of the House is Wisconsin Representative Paul Ryan.

Roskam nevertheless had nice things to say about Ryan ...
"He invited House Republicans to go in a different direction," Roskam said of Ryan.
Roskam says new Speaker Ryan will plot a 'different direction'
Roskam did not say which specific different direction House Republicans would be going.

However, as reported in this blog ...
Travelin' Man
Roskam has already logged overseas Congressional trips in the direction of, and to, Indonesia, Kosovo, Nepal, Timor-Leste, Poland, Israel, Poland, Israel, Ukraine, Georgia, Ireland, Germany, Switzerland, Turkey, Ukraine, Taiwan:

Where Illinois lawmakers traveled
Based on his past itinerary, Roskam may be hardpressed to find a different direction to go. Your LakeCountyEye observes, however, that Peter Roskam has not traveled to outer space yet.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Travelin' Man

If bad news travels fast, then Peter Roskam must be bad news. Haha, Peter Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, has been all over the map lately. At least according to the Chicago Tribune, who compiled an itinerary of Roskam's recent overseas trips:

Where Illinois lawmakers traveled
Roskam logged the most frequent flyer miles of any Illinois Congressperson:
Rep. Peter Roskam, a Republican from Wheaton, ranked second in the delegation with eight foreign trips. He and Adam Kinzinger each visited 13 countries, some twice. Roskam went farther afield — a look at air miles shows him with the most of any Illinois delegation member.
Illinois' lawmakers in Congress have taken 70 foreign trips to 44 countries
What's next for Illinois's peripatetic Peter? A spokesman told your LakeCountyEye: "The Congressman is planning a fact-finding mission to Benghazi. He expects to be there some time before the 2016 election."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

This Salutation Will Not Be Publicized

Wasted away again in Libertyville. Along with its dead-tree edition, the Daily Herald also has a logrolling edition. Mention the Daily Herald in your blog and the Daily Herald may return the favor:
What's a sign you're from the suburbs? "Having appeared in the Daily Herald at least once in your lifetime." So says digital site Thrillist, which includes placement in our pages among other qualifiers, such as having gone to Six Flags Great America with your high school physics class and knowing your exact proximity to the nearest Portillo's.
You know you're from the 'burbs when...
Can free media be that easy -- who knew?

Will the Daily Herald reward your shoutout with a h/t and link to your website? In the interest of science, your LakeCountyEye has been commissioned to test the hypothesis with a clinical trial. The design is as elegant as it is simple: (a) Compile some stupid Internet Top 10 List. (b) Salt it with a reference to the Daily Herald. (c) See what happens ...
Ten Signs You're from Lake County
  1. The Neighbor Dog Ate Your Daily Herald Once in His Lifetime

  2. Wrongfully Convicted

  3. You Know the Fastest Shortcuts Under the Route 53 Extension

  4. Registered to Vote at the Lake County Election Commission

  5. Favorite Ben & Jerry Flavor: Scoop o'the Loop

  6. You Don't Count Sheep at Night -- You Count Canadian National Oil-Cars

  7. Been Stuck on a Great America Ride ... 8 Hours ... and Counting

  8. Dated Princess Nudelman

  9. "I served with G.I. Joe. I knew G.I. Joe. G.I. Joe was a friend of mine. Sir, you're no G.I. Joe."

  10. Lake County Eye? Never Heard of It
Look for your LakeCountyEye in a Daily Herald near you.

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Would You Buy a Rolex from this Man?

Being a millionaire blogger has its advantages. The mailman still delivers junk mail, but it is hugely classy junk mail.

M.J. Miller & Co. -- a Barrington jeweler -- sent their catalog this week:

M.J. Miller & Co.
Gems & Precious Jewels
Your LakeCountyEye always hastens immediately to the men's watches (page 45):
Those are some super-luxury-looking timepieces. But who is that super-luxury-looking model? He looks familiar:
Your LakeCountyEye knows why he is smiling -- it looks like the model with the world-class manicure is sporting a $7000 Seiko:
Do models get to keep the merchandise they pose with? This is probably a question only a millionaire blogger would ask.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

The Fake News

See ya in court! A spectre is haunting Lake County. And it is not the spectre of stale Halloween candy. No, this is the spectre of the faith that honest people place in their law enforcement officials -- and how some individuals would abuse this faith for their own personal gain. This of course refers to those telephone scammers who have been posing as Lake County Sheriff deputies:
Police are warning Lake County residents about a telephone scam in which callers say they're from the Lake County sheriff's office. The calls appear on the caller ID as a telephone number used by the sheriff's office, making appear to be a valid, the sheriff's office said in a news release. The caller then tells potential victims that a complaint has been filed against them and gives them the phone number of an "investigating officer" to call.
Calls from 'sheriff's office' are a scam, Lake County authorities warn
One law enforcement official called your LakeCountyEye to pass along a warning: bad guys will carefully stage their exploits. And while they won't deceive trained law enforcement officials, unsuspecting individuals are often easily fooled. "It is not just victims who end up losing their money. A Major Crimes Task Force investigation can cost the taxpayers $300,000 or more from the git-go."

Everyone is asked to be vigilant and to exercise some common sense precautions: "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Monday, November 2, 2015

The Commendation Will Not Be Scrutinized

All of Lake County's newspapers are on the Internet -- and some of these are laughably epicfail websites. The Daily Herald however is not one. The Daily Herald says ...
The Daily Herald received five first-place awards Thursday in the annual Northern Illinois Newspaper Association contest, including best website, best news series and recognition for its editorial writing, sports column writing and education reporting.
Daily Herald named best website, wins other awards
But don't listen to your LakeCountyEye. Read all about it instead on the Daily Herald website:
Daily Herald named best website, wins other awards
Note to Ops: Never bury your lede.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Investing in Our Future: The Case for Early Childhood Education

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy
Children are born with the same potential to become successful learners. Beginning at one year of age, however, significant deficits begin to show in children from high-risk environments. Research shows there is no single investment that can break the cycle of poverty more effectively than a high-quality early childhood education. Children who have access to high-quality early childhood education are academically and socially more successful in school. Nancy Ronquillo, President and CEO of Children's Home and Aid Society, David Lloyd, Director of Fiscal Policy, at Voices for Illinois Children, and a parent of a child receiving services at the Jerri Hoffman Child and Family Center in Carpentersville, Illinois will lead the discussion. The panel will be introduced by former State Representative Kathleen Ryg.
  • Sunday
    November 8, 2015
    2:00 pm
  • The Stevenson Center on Democracy
    25200 N St Mary's Rd
    Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
    773- 281-0378
  • $15
  • No Charge for Students

Friday, October 30, 2015

The Intersection Will Not Be Signalized

Click Here Like an unstoppable force against an immovable object, Lake County drivers encounter a fundamental paradox every time they get in their cars. There are not enough roads to get to where they want to go. And yet, in Lake County, there is nowhere to go.


The News-Sun this week published a story about an upcoming LCDOT public meeting. The story betrayed some deadpan Lake County highway humor:
Scheduled for Nov. 4 from 5 to 7 p.m. at the Hawthorn Woods Aquatic Center, 94 Midlothian Road, the informal meeting will give all interested parties an "opportunity to provide comments on the preferred alternative, which includes a signalized intersection, a five-lane roadway section, and bicycle and pedestrian facilities," according to an invite from Lake County DOT.

Technically, Gilmer and Midlothian is already signalized and has left- and even right-turn lanes

Where Lake County's rural heritage collides with progress
Note to Ops: A joke is only a joke. But a good headline is clickbait.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Bad Paper

There is not a shred of evidence to support the rumor that Peter Roskam will portray Jack the Ripper this Halloween ...
But your LakeCountyEye has learned that Roskam -- Lake County's vestigial Congressman -- will host a document shredding openhouse this weekend. Operatives who are drowning in paper are invited to dispose of those old documents -- including but not limited to ...
  • Bank Withdrawal Slips (Under $10,000)
  • Unreleased Tax Returns
  • Classified State Department Communiques
  • Federal Subpoenas
  • The Affordable Health Care Act
  • "Surplus" Yardsigns from in Back of the Van
  • Rogaine Prescriptions
  • Scott Walker for President Petitions
  • Union Contracts
  • Illinois No-Firearms Signs
Congressman Roskam will be on-hand to demonstrate the "you're-doing-it-wrong" approach to document shredding ...

GOP Rep. Explodes At IRS Chief, Dramatically Crumples Redacted Report: ‘This Is Junk!
... as well as the appropriate way to dispose of that potentially embarrassing paper-trail:

A Republican lawmaker dramatically ripped up some paper during Hillary Clinton's Benghazi hearing
Note to Ops: Time is limited. Professional cut-ups have been asked not to attend.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

You Gotta Know When to Fold'em

What -- and get out of show business? Operatives may need pencil and paper to solve this story problem: Take one career Washington politician. Combine the politician with one high-profile Congressional investigation into misdeeds committed in the far-east.  What do you get? Ops who answered the Benghazi Investigation are wrong. The correct answer is the House Ethics Committee probe of Peter Roskam's 2011 trip to Taiwan.

Haha, readers of this blog may recall that Lake County vestigial Congressman Peter Roskam got into some hot water a few years ago:
The House Ethics Committee announced Friday it was probing Rep. Peter Roskam (R-Ill.) without detailing what was at issue. Roskam's office disclosed that at issue was a trip he took with his wife to Taiwan in October, 2011 -– at a time his daughter was living in Taiwan. At issue is whether the $25,652 costs for the trip were paid for by the Chinese Culture University -– a permitted funder -— or as the independent Office of Congressional Ethics asserts, the Roskam visit was "organized and conducted by the government of Taiwan, with little to no involvement by the University," which would make it an impermissible funding source.
House ethics panel probing Rep. Peter Roskam over Taiwan trip
Roskam would have gotten off with a slap-on-the-wrist. But since the government of Taiwan did not return calls from the Ethics Committee, he got off scott-free instead.

As if to show that he hadn't only benefited from an expenses-paid vacation on Taiwan's dime, Roskam has been showcasing a recently-acquired mastery of origami -- the oriental art of paper folding.

Here, Roskam constructs a not-to-scale fetal tissue donation for a gathering of values-voters:

GOP Rep. Explodes At IRS Chief, Dramatically Crumples Redacted Report: ‘This Is Junk!
And meeting with faith-based constituents, Roskam demonstrates undivided support for Israel -- with a depiction, in origami, of Moses parting the Red Sea:

A Republican lawmaker dramatically ripped up some paper during Hillary Clinton's Benghazi hearing
What's next for Peter Roskam, the Edward Scissorhands of Capitol Hill? NRA members will learn how to fold an Illinois No-Firearms sign into a 100% civilian-legal semi-automatic weapon.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Paper Tiger

Not to be confused with the Ebola virus, Lake County has Benghazi fever. Peter Roskam got some media attention for himself during the Benghazi hearing this week in Washington. Roskam -- Lake County's vestigial Congressman -- woke everyone up during the 11 hour marathon slog when he dramatically ripped up a piece of paper:

A Republican lawmaker dramatically ripped up some paper during Hillary Clinton's Benghazi hearing
Roskam also had it in mind to teach Hillary Clinton some manners:
In a testy exchange at the start of Thursday's hearing, Republican Rep. Peter Roskam of Illinois appeared concerned that he did not have Clinton's full attention. During a lengthy question about a 2011 memo that described her as "the public face of the U.S. effort in Libya," the former secretary of state began flipping through her notes, prompting an irritated reaction from Roskam. "I can pause while you're reading your notes from your staff," he said in a somewhat patronizing suggestion that Clinton was relying heavily on rehearsed talking points.
Did that just happen? Five odd moments from the Benghazi hearing
This was not a first-time performance for Peter Roskam. In 2013 he taught acting IRS chief Daniel Werfel some manners:
During his time questioning Werfel, Rep. Peter Roskam (R-IL) began berating Werfel over the heavily redacted documents members of Congress received, at one point dramatically crumpling the paper in his hand and exclaiming, "this is junk!"
GOP Rep. Explodes At IRS Chief, Dramatically Crumples Redacted Report: 'This Is Junk!'
Word on the street is that Roskam is rehearsing a new setpiece, where he dramatically pushes the US Affordable Health Care Act through a wood chipper.

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Women's Libya?

The bar is admittedly low, but Lake County's ladies-man in Washington would have to be Peter Roskam. The ladies love to cast their votes for Congressman Roskam. They vote for him despite the fact that Roskam would levy restrictions on a women's fundamental reproductive rights:
Roskam Praises Today's Court Ruling Against Obamacare Contraception Mandate
... and despite the fact that Roskam supports legislation that would deny many women access to basic health care services:
Roskam Helps Introduce Bill to Fully Defund Planned Parenthood
One source told your LakeCountyEye that Roskam's secret is that he knows what the ladies really like: "Congressman Roskam understands that women want to be told who is boss. Hillary Clinton got the Peter Roskam treatment this week, and she loved every minute of it!"
ROSKAM: Well, you just recited the Clinton doctrine to us, and let me tell you what I think the Clinton doctrine is. I think it's where an opportunity is seized to turn progress in Libya into a political win for Hillary Rodham Clinton, and at the precise moment when things look good, take a victory lap, like on all the Sunday shows three times that year before Gadhafi was killed, and then turn your attention to other things. I yield back.

CLINTON: Well, Congressman, that is only a political statement which you well understand, and I don't understand why that has anything to do with what we are supposed to be talking about today.

Clinton testifies before House committee on Benghazi
The same source told your LakeCountyEye that the ladies have an eye for upper body strength in their representatives. "Just look at how Roskam ripped apart that piece of paper for Hillary. Too bad he didn't have one of his phone books handy!"

A Republican lawmaker dramatically ripped up some paper during Hillary Clinton's Benghazi hearing
The source also said that every woman is encouraged to vote for Peter Roskam, however "they must be at least 18 to participate."

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Surface Tension

Release the Kraken Surprising all the pundits, Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran did not announce that he will run for Clerk of the Circuit Court in 2016. Instead, the Daily Herald noted that ...
Lake County Circuit Court Clerk Keith Brin on Tuesday announced plans to seek re-election in 2016. Brin, a Republican from Highland Park, was elected to the post in 2012. A Democratic candidate hasn't yet surfaced.
Brin to run agin for court clerk
One observer told your LakeCountyEye, "There is still six feet of water in the Circuit Court basement. It's anybody's guess what is swimming around down there, below the surface."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Unarmed Robbery

Nigeria Follies As of June of this year, 3142 active concealed carry licenses were granted to McHenry County firearm owners:
Another indication that McHenry County has been targeted by fastbuck artists comes from the McHenryCountyBlog:
On 10-07-15 at 1501 hrs, a Harvard Resident (f-37 yoa) reported they received a message about winning a large amount of money. The resident sent $250 via a wire transfer to Nigeria as well as personal identifiers to claim the winnings. The resident later learned it was a scam.
Nigerian Internet Scam
Willie Sutton once said he robbed banks because that's where the money is. But one criminal observer recently told your LakeCountyEye they target McHenry County because "that's where people from McHenry County live".

Operatives are asked to observe sensible precautions when visiting McHenry County.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Reductio ad Referendum

Absolutely Free There is a old saying in Lake County: "If the Route 53 Extension did not exist, it would be necessary to invent one."

Haha, the News-Sun noted that ...
Opponents of the proposed Route 53 extension lined up before the Lake County Board on Tuesday to criticize what they described as a lack of transparency and public input on the issue, with one speaker calling on the county to conduct an advisory referendum in 2016 to get an updated take on support for the long-debated concept.
Route 53 opponents take fight to Lake County Board
The Lake County Board was urged to slate a new Route 53 Referendum. Only this time they needed to spell out how much it will cost, both in dollars and against the environment. Also, to ask the voters during a high-turnout, Presidential election -- and not during an April, off-year election.

Lake County Board Chairman Aaron Lawlor was overheard to say ...
"I don't want to get into a debate about Route 53."
Route 53 opponents take fight to Lake County Board
Note to Ops: Nothing to see here. Move along please.

Friday, October 9, 2015

Speaker Softly and Carry a Big Stick

Is Peter Roskam the next Denny Hastert? The National Review thinks so. Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, does not hide the fact that his radar is trained on the leadership of the US House of Representatives. And now that the Speaker of the House's seat is up for grabs, Roskam may have the opening he wants. The National Review said ...
A senior aide to another House Republican who has worked with Roskam thinks he might replicate the ascent of former House speaker Dennis Hastert, known as "the accidental speaker" because of how he took advantage of an unexpected vacancy in 1998. "Hastert's path to leadership must be on his mind," the aide says.
Peter Roskam: The Next-Next Speaker?
The Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist has drawn a toon symbolizing the catch-ass-catch-can freeforall transpiring under the Capitol dome in Washington:

The battle for the Speaker's gavel
One guy in the cartoon is the spittin' image of Peter Roskam:
You don't think this is another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™? Then bite me!
The identity of the other fellow, in the polkadot shorts, and getting his rear-end bit, is unknown. One thing is certain, someone is openly bending the Hastert Rule. Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Kuwait and See

We certainly do get around. Like Webster's Dictionary we're Morocco bound. Other than having been liberated by coalition forces during Operation Desert Storm, Lake County has little else in common with the constitutional monarchy of Kuwait. Nonetheless a delegation of Kuwaitis are here to see how traffic is managed in Lake County.

According to the News-Sun ...
About two dozen Kuwait National Police and Traffic Engineers visited Lake County Monday as part of a United Nations program run through the Northwestern University Center for Public Safety.
Kuwaiti police, engineers visit Lake County to learn about traffic safety
One source with his nose under the tent told your LakeCountyEye, "After we get a down payment on the Route 53 Extension, we got a bridge to show them in Brooklyn."

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. مواصلة التحرك لا يوجد شيء أن نرى هنا.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Ambassador Thomas Pickering: the US, the UN and the Future

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy
Thomas Pickering, Ambassador to the United Nations under President George H.W. Bush (1989 - 1992) will speak about the wide ranging mission of the United Nations and its relevance in today's dynamic, interdependent, nuclear world. He will also present ideas for strengthening the U.N. as it moves forward.
  • Saturday
    October 10, 2015
    2:00 pm
  • The Stevenson Center on Democracy
    25200 N St Mary's Rd
    Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
    773- 281-0378
  • Coffee and conversation will follow the presentation
  • $15
  • No Charge for Students

Thursday, October 1, 2015

The Doldy Herald?

the royal oppositionVeterans Day may be November 11, but the Daily Herald is already in the tank for Congressman Robert Dold.

Haha, Illinois congressional lawmakers have voted this year to kill ObamaCare, defund Planned Parenthood and to shut down the US government. This is what the Sun-Times said:
Roskam, Hultgren, LaHood vote against stopgap funding measure: Illinois delegation roll call
While the Daily Herald spun the stories thus:
Dold one of three Republicans to oppose Obamacare repeal
Dold breaks with Republicans on Planned Parenthood vote
Dold breaks with GOP on shutdown vote
Word on the street is that Robert Dold wants to be remembered as Lake County's disruptive legislator. A source at the Daily Herald explained it this way: "Dog bites man is not news. Dold bites Boehner is news." Your LakeCountyEye is hardpressed to disagree.

With an election coming, the Herald is developing more stories about Dold.  Your LakeCountyEye has seen galleys for ten of them -- so you don't have to:
Ten Future Daily Herald Stories
About Congressman Robert Dold
  1. Dold Gives Republicans the Cold Shoulder, Says Global Warming is Real

  2. Dold Breaks with GOP Colleagues, Performs Gay Marriage

  3. Dold Blasts GOP, Discards All His Firearms in Lake Michigan

  4. Dold Surprises Everyone, Nominates Nancy Pelosi for Speaker

  5. Dold One of Three Republicans to have Abortion

  6. Dold Says: "It's True, We Put Together a Special Benghazi Committee and Hillary Clinton's Numbers are Dropping!"

  7. Bernie Sanders Asks Dold to be Running Mate

  8. Dold Breaks the Faith, Converts to Islam

  9. Dold Favors Tax-and-Spend Big Government Programs Like Route 53 Extension

  10. Daily Herald Completely Drops Pretense of Journalistic Objectivity
Look for your LakeCountyEye, disrupting the rabblement near you.

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Speaker for Yourself

There is no truth to the rumor that Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran resigned last week as Speaker of the US House of Representatives. Point in fact, it was Speaker of the House John Boehner who resigned.

Haha, as readers of this blog are unexpectedly aware ...
The Schock of the New
the last time the US Congress was sucked into a galeforce power vacuum, Peter Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, got swept out of his Majority Whip leadership post.

The stakes are higher this time, by an order of magnitude. For his part, Roskam says picking a Speaker of the House should be more like choosing a mate and less like booking an Uber ride:
I'm going to work hard to make sure we get the leadership we need, not just settle on the fastest, easiest choice.
Roskam: Don't settle on 'fastest, easiest' speaker choice
Roskam, a old fixture in the US House leadership pool, wants to school his less experienced colleagues on the do's and don'ts of picking their first Speaker.  The Sun-Times observed ...
Before electing a replacement for House Speaker John Boehner, Rep. Peter Roskam, R-Illinois, gained the support of enough colleagues Saturday to force a meeting to "confront the underlying issues" that led to Boehner's resignation. Though Roskam wasn't announcing a bid for a leadership spot, the move by the Wheaton lawmaker sets the stage for a possible run in the wake of the shuffle triggered by Boehner's surprise announcement Friday he'll leave Congress at the end of October.
Rep. Peter Roskam setting stage to move up after Boehner departure
Your LakeCountyEye obtained a copy of the memo:

Attn Colleague:

It is not every day a sitting speaker of the House of Representatives steps down because of divisions within a deeply conflicted Republican majority. If we launch headfirst into leadership elections like this is a typical succession, without ever taking the time to diagnose our current ailments, we won't heal the fractures in a conference that has thus far proved unleadable.

Meeting with a new leader candidate can be difficult, I know. Here are some commonsense Do's and Don'ts that have guided me throughout my tenure in the House:
  • Do make eye contact.
  • Do clean up; make hygiene a priority.
  • Do smile.
  • Don't talk about your Ex-Speaker.
  • Don't get drunk.
  • Do be on time.
  • Do not be judgmental if he has bad hair.
  • Don't tell political jokes.
  • Don't overdo the cologne.
  • Do offer to pay the bill.
Finally, there are plenty of fish in the sea, I know. If the choices are overwhelming, my door is always open. I'm here to help you.

Peter Roskam
Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Goof of the Week

on the fritz As readers of this blog are as likely as not aware ...
Up Against the Walsh
last week the Daily Herald reported that Congressman-emeritus Joe Walsh will be challenging Randy Hultgren in the 2016 GOP Primary.

Well, nothing could be further from the truth. The Illinois Review straight-out asked Walsh ...
"Are you, or someone on your behalf, circulating petitions to challenge Hultgren in the 14th CD?" Walsh's response via text was four letters: "Nope."
Your LakeCountyEye regrets the error, and in the future will refrain from repeating unsubstantiated campaign rumors.

In related news, fresh on the heels of dropping out of the race for Lake County State's Attorney, Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran announced that he will be suspending his campaign to challenge Randy Hultgren the 14th Congressional District.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

A Legal Vacuum?

when the going gets tough the tough get going Fresh on the heels of Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker dropping out of the race for Lake County State's Attorney, Mark Curran announced he would do the same. The Daily Herald said ...
Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran has ended his run for state's attorney, just weeks after announcing plans to challenge incumbent Mike Nerheim in the 2016 Republican primary.
Curran drops out of state's attorney race
Curran's announcement, for one, came as a surprise. As readers of this blog are aware, Sheriff Curran launched his hail-mary-pass campaign for State's Attorney only six weeks ago, declaring in a press release that ...
Mike Nerheim has done nothing to raise the caliber of the office. Today I made an opening statement, but I will be presenting evidence throughout the campaign that change is needed.
Throwing Good Money After Bad?
Those readers overcome by a sense of deja-vu may recall that Curran performed a similar flip-flop in 2013, on a decision to run for Illinois Attorney General:
With Mark Curran now the last man out, there is no one left running for Lake County State's Attorney. One keen observer noted this could benefit the County in the long run: "If we quitclaim the State's Attorney office, Lake County will see considerably fewer wrongful conviction suits in the future."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Monday, September 21, 2015

Melissa Flynn and Elizabeth Richter:
Chicago's Green City Market

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy
Chicago's Green City Market has been honored as one of America's Top 10 Farmers' Markets by USA Today. Located in Lincoln Park, the independent nonprofit market was founded in 1998 by the late chef, author, and entrepreneur Abby Mandel to encourage local, sustainable agriculture. Board member Elizabeth Richter and Executive Director Melissa Flynn will share the story and mission of the market, and the contribution the market and its vendor-farmers make to ensure Chicagoans access to locally produced, healthy food. The market is dedicated to connect local farmers and producers to chefs, restaurateurs, food organizations and the public.
  • Sunday
    September 27, 2015
    2:00 pm
  • The Stevenson Center on Democracy
    25200 N St Mary's Rd
    Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
    773- 281-0378
  • Coffee and conversation will follow the presentation
  • $15

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Monkey Out of Whack?

If your spider-sense is tingling that may be because you have been randomly selected by Lake County. The News-Sun says ...
The Live Well Lake County Steering Committee and Lake County Health Department and Community Health Center are sending invitations for a health status survey to 5,000 households in the county during the first week of September. These randomly selected Lake County residents will provide vital health information that will help guide the Department's and partners' community health improvement plans, supporting better health outcomes for all in Lake County.
New Survey Launched to Collect Data on Lake County Health Conditions and Challenges
Of course if your spider-sense is tingling, that could also be a sign of an underlying health problem. Those who did not receive an invitation from the Lake County Health Department can take heart -- your LakeCountyEye has obtained a copy and you can participate in the program anyways:
This postcard from the Lake County Health Department arrived in the mail on Saturday, Sep 19 -- and was paid for by the Lake County taxpayer.  So if you live in Lake County, just go over to Survey Monkey ...
... and answer all the questions:
Note to Ops: Your results may vary.