Monday, September 29, 2014

The Hunger Game

Even though Peter Roskam is Lake County's vestigial Congressman, one would be hard pressed to find someone in the county even remotely familiar with his name. Whether by design or by default, Roskam has managed to keep a low profile throughout this election year. Your LakeCountyEye had to search the Internet back well into the previous year for any mention of Peter Roskam. This despite the fact that there have been more than a dozen stories posted about Roskam in 2014 on this blog alone! Truth indeed is stranger than fiction.

A November 2013 press release out of Roskam's Washington office says ...
In advance of the Thanksgiving Holiday, Congressman Roskam and his wife, Elizabeth, met with volunteers and helped pack food at Feed My Starving Children in Schaumberg.
Congressman Roskam Packs Food for Philippines
That was back in the day. Fast forward to the present and Roskam plans to be in Crystal Lake to support the Illinois House Republican Organization -- a special guest for an evening of fine food and bourbon tasting:
On the menu:
  • Hors d'oeuvres
  • Salad of Organic Greens
    Garden Grown Tri-Colored Sage and Chili de Arbol Vinaigrette
  • Combination of Local Grass Fed Red Angus Filet Tips and Wild Caught Salmon Cake
  • Butternut Squash and Purple Mashed Potatoes
  • Bourbon-infused Black Bottom Pie with Fresh Whipping Cream
It is unknown whether any starving children have been invited. Your LakeCountyEye has been told that Congressman Roskam will request a doggie bag.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Tryon Your Hand At It

With the 2014 election season in full swing, your LakeCountyEye has been busier than a growth-hormone-fed rooster in a backyard chicken coop. Whenever freetime is available, your LakeCountyEye can be found searching the Internet for ...
Haha, your LakeCountyEye discovered that if you Google "ILLINOIS" & "CHEAP LEVITRA" & "VIAGRA ONLINE WITHOUT PRESCRIPTION" & "BUY CIALIS IN AUSTRALIA", a local elected official will appear at the top of your search results:

These Google hits link to Mike Tryon, the former Chair of the McHenry County GOP, and a current State Representative. Operatives who follow the links to Tryon's website will not be disappointed:

Your LakeCountyEye got a screencap of Tryon's website, above.  The tiny mousetype in the corners may be hard to read, so your LakeCountyEye blew up some insets. Tyron's website bears links galore to cheap Internet Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, and more!

Best Viewed in Internet Explorer 10!
Be sure to visit Tryon's website with Internet Explorer if you want to see for yourself the links to those magic erectile dysfunction pills.

Your LakeCountyEye has long been searching for an unobtrusive way to monetize this blog and turn it into a moneymaking cash cow. Well thanks to State Rep Mike Tryon, your LakeCountyEye now knows how it is done.

Note to ops: this is a closely guarded secret to be held between you and your LakeCountyEye. It is not known what would arise if the McHenryCountyBlog ever found out.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

No Guns or Butter

630 dog Ks in 630 dog days Your LakeCountyEye doesn't know how they are supposed to celebrate the New Year or the Fourth of July in the village of Highland Park. According to the News-Sun ...
A district court judge ruled Thursday that Highland Park's ban on assault weapons and large-capacity magazines does not violate constitutional rights under the Second Amendment, according to the city.
Judge upholds Highland Park's ban on assault weapons
Lake County citizens typically commemorate victories like these by gathering in their town square to discharge their firearms in celebration.  But, observes your LakeCountyEye, they will not be in Highland Park.

Something else they will not be celebrating, is the price of victory:
The city spent $89,887 in legal fees defending the assault weapons ban in the first three months of 2014, according to legal bills obtained through a Freedom of Information request in May of this year.
Judge upholds Highland Park's ban on assault weapons
$90,000 is not an insignificant amount, even in the village of Highland Park. One official from one undisclosed village told your LakeCountyEye that a $90,000 line item on their city budget is equivalent to "a month's revenue out of our Half Day Road speed trap."

Your LakeCountyEye decided to do some actual research and discovered that there were quite a few village budgets with line items equivalent to $90,000 -- well, OK, 10 to be exact:
Ten $90,000 Expenditures Found in Some Lake County Village Budgets
  1. 101 AR-15 Assault Weapons (now available at Walmart)
  2. 1800 Potholes
  3. 15 Village Trustees (Park City only)
  4. 1½ Springfield Lobbyists
  5. 1 Bike Lane
  6. 28 grams Medical Marijuana (estimated street value)
  7. 19% Stake in a Mine Resistant Vehicle
  8. 1 Backyard Chicken Inspector
  9. Walking Around Money
  10. 27 inches of Route 53 Extension
Look for your LakeCountyEye in a nuisance suit near you.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

The Road to Riches

hope springs eternal Short of threatening to move across State lines unless they get tax concessions, the Route 53 Blue Ribbon Commission has run out of ideas for financing the Route 53 Extension. The News-Sun observed that ...
After months of laboring through a bushel of options on how to build a 25-mile road for about $2.6 billion, the project's finance committee has arrived at an interlocking set of funding plans. What the components share in common is that everyone will hate at least one of the ideas. And lots of people will hate the entire idea, starting with spending $2.6 billion on a road that only begets bad funding ideas.
Route 53 payment plan gives something for everyone to hate
Desperate times call for desperate measures. So your LakeCountyEye paid a visit to Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Leveraged Financial Instruments at the College of Lake County.

Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi asked to meet on the Amstutz Expressway, the on-screen location of every Hollywood chase scene ever filmed since Ben Hur. He said, "Every time they shoot a movie here, the City of Waukegan pockets a nice chunk of money for itself. Well, it was only a matter of time before the Route 53 Commission woke up and smelled the Benjamins."

Your LakeCountyEye was nonplussed. Did that mean they planned to finance the Route 53 Extension by making the limited-access toll-road available to Hollywood filmmakers?

"They are already under contract" offered Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "to film the Easy Rider sequel on the Route 53 Extension. The daily commuter isn't even expected to notice. Lake County has plenty of senior citizens riding around on their Harley Davidsons, as it is."

Your LakeCountyEye was all like: and not to mention good ole boys in pickups with gun racks.

"And the LCDOT is already stockpiling barrels of yellow-line paint", continued Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "for a remake of the Wizard of Oz. Tell your ops there will be an open casting call for munchkin extras."

Your LakeCountyEye made a mental note.

"This financing plan will also help save on construction costs." added Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "They will only have to build the bridges half-way across the overpasses. For a remake of Thelma and Louise."

Your LakeCountyEye was none too pleased to hear that. Something else to avoid during rush hour.

"And think about this." cautioned Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "After one or two Chicago winters the Route 53 Extension is expected to revert back to its feral state -- a post-apocalyptic moonscape of potholes and roadkill and homeless squatters. Well, one Hollywood studio has already optioned the rights."

Your LakeCountyEye had a hunch. Another Mad Max movie?

"No flies on you today." chuckled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "I've heard that the the International Demolition Derby Association -- as well as NASCAR -- have sent out feelers."

Your LakeCountyEye heard enough. Was there any parting advice?

"Tell your ops," said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "that if the location shots on Duck Dynasty look familiar, they'll know why."

Friday, September 19, 2014

Addressing Mental Illness in the Justice System
Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy
Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart, a nationally recognized leader for his innovations in law enforcement techniques and policies, will speak on the growing crisis of mental illness in the criminal justice system. Dart and his staff have worked to reduce over-crowding at the jail and instituted programs to provide job skills for inmates. He re-structured the Sheriff's Police Force and improved the operations of the Court Services Department. And he launched the Office of Mental Health Policy and Advocacy which operates a 24-hour Care Line for mentally ill ex-inmates and families of current mentally inmates, while screening all "pre-bond" detainees for mental illness. He has received many awards from national and local mental health advocacy organizations for his efforts to end what has become a de facto criminalization of mental illness.
  • Sunday
    September 28, 2014
    2:00 pm
  • The Stevenson Center on Democracy
    25200 N St Mary's Rd
    Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
    773- 281-0378
  • Admission: $15
  • Coffee and conversation following

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Small Compensation

my eyes are up here Illinois's billionaire candidates are amping up their efforts to buy themselves the November election.  Unless they win, they will be forced to pay their employees a decent wage.

Haha, a Chicago Tribune poll says a large majority of voters want to raise the minimum wage:
The poll found 69 percent of Illinois voters back an increase in the state's $8.25-an-hour minimum wage to $10 by Jan. 1 for adults over age 18.
Poll: Illinois voters back referendum issues
Local planners have positioned Lake County to uniquely benefit from an increased minimum wage. That's because the average Lake County job starts at $4.95 per hour.

They say a rising tide lifts all boats -- and what is true for Blarney Island will be true for Lake County. A $1.75 hike in the minimum wage will mean a sudden increase in discretionary spending, county-wide. Industries expected to benefit, above all, include video gaming, medical marijuana and gun sales.

Operatives eager to participate in the good times are advised to get in on the ground floor and snag themselves a good Lake County minimum wage job, while they are still to be gotten. Your LakeCountyEye has been told there are only about 10 left:
Lake County's Ten Best Minimum Wage Jobs
  1. Bouncer at the Quonset

  2. Highly Paid Satirical Blogger

  3. CN Railroad Cowcatcher Attendant

  4. Libertyville TIF District Meter Maid

  5. Woodpecker Hole Inspector on the Goliath Rollercoaster

  6. Special Fundraising Facilitator to the Illinois Route 53/120 Blue Ribbon Advisory Council Finance Committee

  7. Curator of the Lake County Election Commission National Monument

  8. Barrington Hills Bicycle Repairman

  9. Rap Star

  10. News-Sun Fact Checker
Look for your LakeCountyEye, workin it.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

The Loan Arranger

Your LakeCountyEye recalls, back-in-the-day, when rollercoasters were made of wood, and they gave away razors so as to make out like bandits selling the razorblades. Times have not changed. Nowadays, they still build rollercoasters out of wood, and they give away student loans so as to make out like bandits collecting the interest.

Obtaining a student loan, to be sure, is not for the faint of heart. Luckily, Peter Roskam is giving a usurious 110% of effort to borrowers and lenders alike. Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, is touting legislation that will make it easier to obtain a student loan:
At a time when our economy is still weak from the recession, lawmakers must step up to ensure college remains affordable for our nation's kids.
Roskam: Making college more affordable for everyone
And as if to prove he isn't making empty (campaign) promises to cash-strapped parents of callow college students, Roskam visited Enterprise Recovery Systems, a student loan collection agency. Roskam talked about the Telephone Consumer Protection Act (TCPA), which prohibits collection agencies -- like Enterprise Recovery Systems -- from contacting student loan deadbeats on their cellphones -- like the awesome new iPhone 6 Plus:
Employees also voiced concerns that collection agencies are currently restricted from calling student loan borrowers on their cell phones due to TCPA rules, and Roskam encouraged employees to engage the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) through letter writing and advocacy campaigns. According to a recent Center for Disease Control (CDC) study, 57.1% of all American households now are either exclusively or predominantly wireless. They asked what Congress can do to persuade the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) to modernize the regulations for the TCPA.
Enterprise Recovery Systems Hosts Congressional Visit By Rep. Peter Roskam
Here Roskam poses with someone from Enterprise Recovery Systems. Roskam is the management-looking guy in the corporate suit:
If you have a student loan and you suddenly start getting text messages from, you know who to thank: Congressman Peter Roskam!

Friday, September 12, 2014

Not Even with a 10 Point Poll

You may already be a winner. Are cowcatchers a legitimate campaign expense? They should be, because the National Republican Senatorial Committee just threw Jim Oberweis under the bus.

Haha, US Senate candidate Jim Oberweis just got some bad news. The Chicago Tribune is saying that ...
An official with the National Republican Senatorial Committee on Thursday declined to commit to giving money to Illinois state Sen. Jim Oberweis in his bid to oust three-term Democratic U.S. Sen. Dick Durbin.
National GOP group won't commit to helping Oberweis
It was just week ago that Oberweis was riding high on the results of a fake self-commissioned poll that had him within striking distance of sweet November victory. But, as readers of this blog are keenly aware ...
I Scream You Scream We All Scream
your LakeCountyEye quickly followed-up with the only poll that matters: the candid camera poll. A photograph of Oberweis talking to a half empty room in Algonquin went viral, and no sooner had the NRSC caught wind of this macaca moment did they pull the plug on the high flying Oberweis campaign. Coincidence? Note to ops: in winner-take-all electoral politics, there are no coincidences.

Operatives are advised to throw away those useless bookmarks. Some websites -- Real Clear Politics, FiveThirtyEight, even the Princeton Election Consortium, for instance -- merely track the opinions. But how many lead the opinions?

Monday, September 8, 2014

I Scream You Scream We All Scream

EAT MOR CHIKIN Your LakeCountyEye be totally liveblogging from the Oberweis Dairy, conveniently located on 5572 Grand Ave, Gurnee. That banana royal sundae on the soda fountain looks awesomely flavorsome. Toppings include caramel, chocolate, pineapple, strawberry.

In related news, the bloggers at the McHenryCountyBlog said ...
A newly released poll commissioned by IL U.S. Senate candidate Jim Oberweis shows him trailing by only six points against 32-year career politician Dick Durbin.
Oberweis poll shows race at 6 points
Jim Oberweis spoke Wednesday at an Algonquin Township Republican Central Committee meeting ...
U.S. Senate hopeful Jim Oberweis updates Republicans in Algonquin
... where he drew some 30 people -- a hefty number for any US Senate candidate on a meteoric rise up in the polls.

The shutterbugs at the McHenryCountyBlog got some snapshots of the event:

Jim Oberweis Addresses Algonquin Township Republicans
Even if the suits and the party hacks were eliminated from the room count, it is clear that career politician Jim Oberweis drew maybe 10 or 15 people -- a hefty number for any US Senate candidate on a meteoric rise up in the polls!

In the meantime, don't forget to visit your Oberweis Dairy, conveniently located at 684 S Rand Rd, Lake Zurich. Look for your LakeCountyEye, making doe eyes at a peanut butter sundae, wrapped in a fresh baked waffle bowl.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Upwardly Mobile

blogger formalwear Labor Day falls 2 months before the November election, and traditionally marks the start of the campaign season. To political operatives, Labor Day traditionally marks the start of next-job-seeking season, for many of the same reasons.

Political ops, marginally employable in the best of circumstances, are advised not to despair. That's because municipal elections are scheduled for April 2015 -- just around the corner after the real election on November 4th. In anticipation of this municipal election, trustees from the Village of Park City voted to give themselves a raise -- $7,200 -- up from $6,000. It is not too late to be a candidate on the Park City ballot!

Park City's Mayor told the News-Sun ...
the raise will help ensure the city council attracts higher caliber candidates while also retaining experienced members.
Park City Council votes to give itself a raise in 2015
Illinois State law does impose residency restrictions on city council candidates. Ops are asked to make up their own jokes here. Move along.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Go Play in Traffic

He may not believe women have a right to basic health care. He may not believe their children have a right to basic nutrition & educational services. He may not believe a woman has a right to make her own reproductive decisions. Nonetheless, the women of the 6th District vote to send Lake County Congressman Peter Roskam back to Washington year after year. How does he do it?

No, Peter Roskam is not at war against women at all, and he can prove it: he wants to stop human trafficking. According to the Daily Herald, Roskam recently sponsored a forum on human trafficking ...
"It (human trafficking) is happening in the suburbs," Roskam said. "It is happening in ways that should be apparent to us, but we don't even see it." Human trafficking is defined as obtaining a service through force, fraud or coercion, officials said. It could either be labor trafficking or sex trafficking.
Roskam: Human trafficking a growing threat in suburbs
To ensure that the suburbs are protected from the scourge of human trafficking, Roskam voted for H.R. 5272. This overwhelmingly House Republican supported bill will ...
make it easier for the government to deport Central American minors who have entered the United States illegally.
House passes two Republican measures in response to surge of child migrants
These same children that enter the United States illegally will never be exposed to human trafficking in the Chicago suburbs. That's because they will be sent back home. Where they can be prey instead to the human traffickers from where they came from.