Saturday, August 31, 2013

A Bunch of White Walsh

Like many a banty rooster unceremoniously expelled from the chickencoop, Lake County's Ex-Congressman Joe Walsh has landed on his feet. Walsh, whose career has arced from thinktank advisor to venture capitalist to US Congressman, is now a diskjockey on WIND AM 560.

To commemorate the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King's I Have a Dream speech, Walsh posted on his website his own I Have a Dream speech -- one that looks more like an Internet top ten list:
  • I have a dream that all black parents will have the right to choose where their kids attend school.
  • I have a dream that all black boys and girls will grow up with a father.
  • I have a dream that young black men will stop shooting other young black men.
  • I have a dream that all young black men will say "no" to gangs and to drugs.
  • I have a dream that all black young people will graduate from high school.
  • I have a dream that young black men won’t become fathers until after they’re married and they have a job.
  • I have a dream that young unmarried black women will say "no" to young black men who want to have sex.
  • I have a dream that today’s black leadership will quit blaming racism and "the system" for what ails black America.
  • I have a dream that black America will take responsibility for improving their own lives.
  • I have a dream that one day black America will cease their dependency on the government plantation, which has enslaved them to lives of poverty, and instead depend on themselves, their families, their churches, and their communities.
My Own Dream for America
Walsh seems to have developed a keen interest in African-American bloodlines.  When he was a Congressman, Walsh himself had a reputation for being a deadbeat dad. Operatives are asked to make up their own jokes here.

Walsh is now telling the Daily Herald that that he may throw his hat in the ring again, and run for US Senate in 2014:
The McHenry Tea Party favorite says he's keeping his options open, but the only race he named Thursday was U.S. Senate. "It's probably the race that I'm most seriously considering," Walsh said, adding he'll decide within a month.
Walsh weighing a bid for Durbin's U.S. Senate seat
If it does happen, it won't be necessary to watch the TV debates between Walsh and Senator Durbin. Just assume Walsh will answer every question with a noun, a verb, and Impeach Obamacare.

Your LakeCountyEye recalls a famous National Lampoon cover, from back in the day:

If You Don't Buy This Magazine
We'll Kill This Dog
Your LakeCountyEye suspects that Walsh may be sending a copycat signal to the Illinois Republican Party establishment:
If You Don't Buy Ads On My Radio Show, I Will Run For The US Senate!

Friday, August 30, 2013

You Say Petition, I Say Apparition

Is it almost September already in Lake County?  Then, keep an eye out for neatly combed and freshly scrubbed faces, clutching new fountain pens and immaculate white notepads, and happily but deliberately advancing through your neighborhood en route to their appointed commission.  If your LakeCountyEye conjures an image of the little shavers on their way to elementary school -- close but no cigar.  September, of course, is when poorly paid campaign interns are going door to door to get your signature on their nominating petitions.

For anyone so desirous as to see their name on the March 2014 ballot, the first day to circulate your nominating petition is September 3rd -- next Tuesday.  Your LakeCountyEye has already contracted to gather signatures for one ballot hopeful:
Sharpeyed operatives will have already observed line #13 of this petitioner's instructions:

13. Signatures need to be in ink.
No pencil, crayon, marker, or invisible ink allowed.
When it comes to campaigning -- and, in particular, when tasking marginally employable interns -- it is always better to err on the side of caution.  The minute that you, the campaign manager, thinks it is silly to specifically forbid invisible ink, then -- BAM -- in will come walking a volunteer with a petition signed in invisible ink.  Take it from your LakeCountyEye, leave nothing to the imagination; you won't be sorry.

This is not to say that the old invisible ink trick hasn't already been tried. Back in the day, your LakeCountyEye recalls, one candidate delivered for certification, a thick stack of empty petition sheets. And naturally, this candidate was challenged. At the hearing, the candidate swore that his petitioners used invisible ink by mistake. His opponent objected, on the ground that petitions must be signed in blue or black ink. The candidate had anticipated the objection and responded that his petitioners had used invisible blue or black ink. Needless to say the election panel ruled in the candidate's favor and allowed the petitions. True story, although the ruling was reversed when it was appealed to a real court.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

iFramed: The Case Review Panel

At the axis of Michael Nerheim's successful 2012 campaign was a promise to create a case review panel. Four months after he was elected Lake County State's Attorney, Nerheim selected the first five cases to send to his case review panel.  Four of the cases were felonies. One case, the Chicago Tribune reported, was Vince Testa's.
The only misdemeanor case is that of Vince Testa, who was convicted of battery and resisting arrest after a January 2010 confrontation with police at his home outside Libertyville in which he was shocked with a Taser on video camera. The footage shows the altercation that followed Lake County sheriff's officers' attempts to serve an arrest warrant on Testa's son.
The Chicago Tribune article had two significant observations. The first observation was that none of the cases that Nerheim selected involved DNA evidence. The implication was that without DNA evidence, none of the cases were likely to be overturned.

The Chicago Tribune also observed that along with three murders and a sexual assault, Nerheim chose to review Vince Testa's misdemeanor conviction for resisting arrest.


One reason is that on December 3, 2012, Testa petitioned Nerheim to review his case.
As I posted on this blog, in iFramed, there is compelling video evidence to believe that Testa was, to use an old fashioned term, railroaded by the Lake County justice system. The video evidence to this effect is available on Testa's website, which is also called iFramed.

If Michael Nerheim ever visited the website, or watched the video, he would have realized that Vince Testa was someone who, at the very least, believed he was innocent, and had taken a lot of time and effort to prove that to others. Testa wrote in his letter to Nerheim,
One of the main reasons we made the documentary was because we had a story we wanted to share with our fellow citizens in Lake County. We wanted our pain and frustration to serve as a warning to others so that they might protect themselves from what we have experienced. [...] Through telling our story we have been contacted by others who have had similar pain and grief, to varying degrees. Their reputations have been ruined, their spirits broken, their faith in our country shattered.
Despite only being a misdemeanor case, Testa's would have had the potential to be another high-profile embarrassment for the office of the Lake County States Attorney, and would probably need to be dealt with quickly.

There is no question in my mind why Nerheim selected Testa's misdemeanor conviction as the fifth case to send to his review panel.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Cross the Rubicon

Ever since WLS broke the news, Lake County has been all cattywampus:
One of the state's Republican leaders is leaving his current post with a higher office apparently in mind. Tom Cross is stepping down as leader of the Republicans in the Illinois House.
Tom Cross stepping down as Ill. House GOP Leader
Without a leader to lead them, will the Illinois House Republicans now be like a Mundelein freerange chicken with it's head cut off? Not a pleasant thought.

As readers of this blog are presciently aware ...
Silky Sullivan
It's no secret that Mundelein Republican legislator Ed Sullivan Jr, has been openly coveting the post. At least, someone has been dropping rumors to that extent into the MSM. Just don't ask your LakeCountyEye who.
Everything else being equal, the job is Sullivan's for the taking. By your LakeCountyEye's count, the House Republican Caucus has a super-minority of 7 members. Which means Sullivan needs 4 votes to become the next House Republican leader. Realistically speaking, Sullivan can count on his own vote -- so he actually only needs 3 other legislators to vote for him. There must be at least 3 other Republican legislators in the burbs who would give him their vote.  Like a David McSweeney or somebody.  If Sullivan isn't able to round up a crumby three more votes, he might just not be ready to be the next House Republican leader.  Just Sayin!

Haha, j/k. Everybody is now saying the next House Republican leader will be some guy your LakeCountyEye never heard of, named Jim Durkin. The end.

Saturday, August 24, 2013


On the night of January 19, 2010, Lake County Sheriff Deputies forced their way into the suburban Libertyville home of Vince Testa. A Deputy shot Testa in the back with a Taser, in front of his wife. Testa was bound, taken from his home, and arrested.

Prior to the event, Testa had no criminal record. The Lake County Sheriff's Deputies were at Testa's house to arrest his son for a minor charge, one that was later dismissed. But Testa was charged that night with resisting arrest. The reason? The Sheriff's Deputies would not produce a search warrant for Testa's son, so he refused them entry into his home.

I am not making any of this up.

Testa's unbelievable story is documented on his website, called iFramed. In Vince Testa's own words,
iFramed is the story of police brutality and a road to discovery of the injustices in our legal system, particularly in Lake County, Illinois.
Testa's ordeal, which began almost four years ago, has not ended yet.  It is chronicled in a 75 minute video -- and worth the investment of your time.

Whether or not deserved, Lake County's justice system has a reputation of being as incompetent as it is insular. I believe it is an accurate description and I see little sign that this will be changing any time soon.  The justice system in Lake County has three arms: the Sheriff, the State's Attorney, and the Court.  If you want to see how the three can operate in tandem to do an injustice to one man, then I highly recommend Vince Testa's video.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

One Born Every Minute

The Antioch Rescue Squad accountant who responded to the 911 call had good news and bad news for your LakeCountyEye. No, your LakeCountyEye does not have tick-borne Lyme Disease. Your LakeCountyEye has something much worse -- the gamblin' bug.

Haha, the Lake County Board voted last week to legalize slot machines video gambling in unincorporated Lake County. According to the News-Sun ...
"I understand why people are opposed to it," said Rob Hardman, co-owner of Blarney Island on Grass Lake Road west of Antioch. "The problem is (video gaming) is in Lake County — it's very much in Lake County."
County makes 'tough vote' to repeal ban on video gaming
The Mayor of incorporated Gurnee, for one, was none too pleased. Kristina Kovarik told the Daily Herald ...
"It was the stupidest thing the county could have done," Kovarik said Wednesday. "It was stupid, period."
Gurnee mayor: Lake County gambling vote 'stupid'
So true, so true, but most elected officials will readily tell you that legalized gambling is a stealth tax on the stupid.

As luck would have it, the production offices of this blog are located in unincorporated Lake County.  And if your LakeCountyEye understands the new legislation correctly, this blog is now Lake County's #1 Internet destination for online gambling. Your LakeCountyEye has gone to great trouble and expense to develop a convenient new video gaming Internet app, below:

Lake County's Internet gamblers can now play video poker from the comfort of their unincorporated homes and not the discomfort of some gin soaked unincorporated saloon!

Sharpeyed ops may notice that in reality there is no such thing embedded, above, on this blog. That is because, in reality, your LakeCountyEye did not go to great trouble and expense to develop a video gaming Internet widget. Instead, your LakeCountyEye has cut out the middle man, to pass on the savings to you. Lake County gamblers are invited to Email their gamblin' dollars directly to your LakeCountyEye at ...
This way, every dollar saved is an extra dollar in your pocket.

Remember, if you don't play you can't win. Send that walkin'around money of yours to ...
... with the subject line:
Offer void where prohibited by law.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

North By Northeast Illinois Vacation Destinations

Your LakeCountyEye got the itch. Yes, video poker is now legal in unincorporated Lake County -- but no, your LakeCountyEye ain't got the gamblin' itch. As readers of this blog are paresthetically aware ...
Don't Sprayz Me, Bro
Being basically built on swampland nobody wanted, Lake County enjoys more than its fair share of mosquitoes. And that's the itch your LakeCountyEye got.

Happily, Lake County is favored with one safe harbor from biting insects.  The South Lake Mosquito Abatement District, entrusted with a mission to destroy mosquitoes and any other insects that get in the way, has been aerial bombing the Village of Highland Park with an insecticide called DUET. According to the News-Sun ...
While the DUET label cautions the product is harmful to bees, mosquito control officials note the spraying is conducted at night when bees have retreated to their hives.
Residents criticize mosquito district for fly-over spraying
So whereas the industrious bees are safely retired to their hives at a reasonable hour, the village of Highland Park has been exterminating their nocturnal cousins -- bugs that carouse all night, and who knows how late.  Like those disreputable crickets and katydids and fireflies.

The news that airplanes are spraying mosquitoes over Highland Park was timely and welcome news indeed for your LakeCountyEye. Operatives will find your LakeCountyEye summer vacationing in prophylactic Highland Park -- now 100% insect free!

To prove it, here are some vacation snapshots courtesy the Polaroid Instamatic:

Your LakeCountyEye at Port Clinton Square

Your LakeCountyEye at Ravinia

Your LakeCountyEye
at the Chicago Botanical Gardens

Your LakeCountyEye on the set of
Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Highland Park operatives may look for your LakeCountyEye, that handsome devil.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Don't Sprayz Me, Bro

Raid!Lake County can boast a surplus two things: mosquitoes and assault rifles. So it should be no surprise that the #1 Lake County nighttime fun activity for the entire family is target practice. Against biting insects. It should also be no surprise that the Village of Highland Park, which recently banned assault rifles, is reporting a bumper crop of mosquitoes this year. According to the News-Sun ...
A group of Highland Park residents criticized officials with the South Lake Mosquito Abatement District on Monday, Aug. 12, for a decision to conduct fly-over spraying on July 11.
Residents criticize mosquito district for fly-over spraying
When the conversation turns to things by nature all bugs, your LakeCountyEye turns to the bugs expert, Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Math Death at the College of Lake County.

The obvious question was: "How safe is insect spraying?" Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi had a quick response: "Safe as milk. Just ask the insecticide manufacturer. Or the application contractor. Or the responsible government body. If you can't trust the word of vested special interests like these, who can you trust?"

Safety, of course, comes at a price. Your LakeCountyEye wanted to know if this was reflected in the tax bill. "Not at all." replied Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "In fact, save yourself a couple of bucks. The next night they spray, treat the family to icecream cones. When the clerk offers to upgrade your cones with extra toppings, tell him no thanks. Tell him you'll be outside, waiting for the mosquito spray. Different insecticides will deposit different color residues on the cones!"

Your LakeCountyEye was intrigued and asked, "What insecticide do they use?" Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi said the chemical they now use is called DUET.

"DUET?" mused your LakeCountyEye. "That sounds safe."

"Absolutely." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "I do recall one insecticide that was not as popular. It was marketed under the brand name: A CUTE NEUROTOXIN"

Your LakeCountyEye wondered how the DUET was applied.

"Aerosol particulates delivered through a spray mechanism." replied Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Typically a fogger mounted on a pickup truck. Sometimes from an airplane, like in Highland Park last month. This is a funny story -- I know one pilot who sprayed "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" over his girlfriend's home."

"Very romantic." said your LakeCountyEye. "Did they get married?"

"It's actually a sad story." replied Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "She's still in the Hospital ICU."

This was more than your LakeCountyEye needed to know, and asked "Do you have any parting advice?"

Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi only said "Tell your operatives, if they want to pick up a couple fast bucks, open a retail Hazmat supply shop in Highland Park."

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Blog1 Off

Auk! Your LakeCountyEye has sad news to report about -- according to the Daily Herald ...
A long-running blog about Island Lake politics and events unceremoniously closed over the weekend. The site, at, once was run by then-Trustee Laurie Rabattini and then by a series of activists
Island Lake blog shut down
Operatives will recall that the was the innovative Lake County political blog that launched 1,000 Daily Herald stories and editorials.'s rabid rhetoric and untutored approach to rational discourse became the de facto standard for political dialog in Island Lake. Your LakeCountyEye recalls that introduced at least one new term to the political lexicon:
No Ifs, Ands or Rebuttles
As a tribute to, your LakeCountyEye has compiled 10 epitaphs to commemorate its passing:
Ten Euphemisms for the Departure of
  1. Demised
  2. Passed On
  3. Is No More
  4. Has Ceased To Be
  5. Expired and Gone to Meet Its Maker
  6. A Stiff, Bereft of Life, Rests in Peace
  7. Pushing Up the Daisies
  8. Its Metabolic Processes are Now History
  9. Kicked the Bucket
  10. Shuffled Off the Mortal Coil, Rung Down the Curtain and Joined the Bleedin' Choir Invisible
So, on this solemn occasion, a moment of silence is requested for the, as your LakeCountyEye offers a prayer of Requiem Æternam:
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.
That is an

Friday, August 9, 2013

Government of the Repeal, by the Repeal, for the Repeal

DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN!Perhaps they got their marching orders this week from Speaker of the House John Boehner, who said, "we ought to be judged on how many laws we repeal". In any event, Lake County's elected officials are in an especially repellent mood, and promise to repeal a number of unpopular Lake Country laws.

One law these elected officials want to repeal establishes a new independent election commission in Lake County.  State Representative David McSweeney told the Daily Herald ...
"Springfield politicians will stop at nothing to further consolidate power," McSweeney said in a statement.
Lake County lawmakers trying to repeal election commission
McSweeney did neglect to explain how the law is supposed to consolidate power. As your LakeCountyEye understands it, the new law does quite the opposite -- it distributes power by transferring election duties from the Lake County Clerk to an independent election commission.  It may be instructive to note that David McSweeney is not a professional stand-up comedian; he is a Springfield politician.

Perhaps not uncoincidentally, another law under scrutiny regulates slot machines video gaming in Lake County. According to the Daily Herald ...
The question of whether to allow video gambling in unincorporated Lake County will go to the full county board with a key recommendation from the finance committee. The county board's finance and administrative committee recommended repealing the 2009 ordinance that banned video gambling
Lake County panel says repeal video gambling ban
If the ban is lifted, planners estimate that most of the new gaming licenses would go to businesses in the Chain O' Lakes area -- which would be a boon to homeowners there, who presently have to drive all the way to Mundelein to get near any loose slots. Not surprisingly, your LakeCountyEye has learned that the croupiers at the Waukegan Casino are planning to relocate their casino to Blarney Island.

But in spite of all the political saber rattling, smart money is betting that neither law gets repealed during the current legislative calendar. Your LakeCountyEye can report, however, that compromise legislation may be in the works. Do not be surprised if Lake County's independent election commission is shut down some time this year -- but only in unincorporated Lake County.  One source told your LakeCountyEye, "No one there ever votes anyways."

Finally, there is still no word whether another unpopular law has been repealed in Lake County, yet -- ObamaCare. Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised as events warrant.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Let Them Eat Cake

rib eye on the boneIf anyone is capable of dodging uncomfortable questions asked by busybody reporters, that would be Peter Roskam. Nominal Lake County Congressman and Junket King, Peter Roskam was in Algonquin this week for a ribbon-cutting ceremony at a low-income senior living community. If your LakeCountyEye reads the Northwest Herald correctly, buttinsky reporters covering the event were more interested in Roskam's all-expenses-paid trip to Taiwan and subsequent US House of Representatives ethics investigation:
While in McHenry County on Monday to celebrate the opening of an affordable senior housing community, U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam, R-Ill., said he fully expects to be cleared of any wrongdoing regarding a trip he took to Taiwan in 2011.
Roskam: No rules violated on Taiwan trip
Operatives do not need to be reminded that affordable senior housing is federally subsidized independent living facilities intended for low-income senior citizens. Low Income is sometimes defined as having to choose between buying medicine or buying food.

What those meddlesome reporters failed to ask Roskam was to explain why he voted to cut the Federal Food Stamp program by $20 billion:
H.R.1947: Federal Agriculture Reform and Risk Management Act of 2013
Nine percent of all Food Stamp recipients are senior citizens. And for those who sometimes have to choose between buying medicine and buying food, the Food Stamp program can be a life-saver.

Your LakeCountyEye did not know if any Food Stamp recipients were there to help Peter Roskam celebrate their new affordable housing center. One Roskam supporter your LakeCountyEye talked to was unconcerned about the bald-faced hypocrisy. She said she still plans to vote for Roskam: "He seems like such a nice young man. If he says the government spends too much money on Food Stamps, I trust him. Besides, I'll start eating cat food before I'd want to become dependent on Food Stamps."

Monday, August 5, 2013

McHenry County Blotto?

There is no truth to the rumor that CEO Jeff Bezos purchased the McHenryCountyBlog, today, for a quarter billion dollars. Nor that Bezos bought the blog -- which covers politics in mostly agrarian McHenry County -- for the opportunity to "put that gluepot out to pasture".

This hasn't, however, changed the fact that the McHenryCountyBlog has been, metaphorically speaking, out to pasture for the past couple of hours. And by "out to pasture" your LakeCountyEye means deadair flatlined.  As of this posting, there is Nothing Found on the McHenryCountyBlog:

McHenry County Blog: Nothing Found
Honesty, when this refreshing, is always to be commended. Your LakeCountyEye nonetheless has long suspected there was a finite amount of bandwidth available over in McHenry County, and this may just confirm it.

For the record, this blog -- the LakeCountyEye -- is also for sale to the right buyer and at the right price. Your LakeCountyEye knows that those reconnaissance bots are surveilling this blog. Note to operatives at give your LakeCountyEye a call. There's lots of pasture land over here in Lake County, too.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Q the Eye/08.04.13

Dear LakeCountyEye,

I've been a faithful Lake County government employee for nearly 20 years, and now we've gotten word that our office is being downsized. Is there anyone hiring in Lake County?

Not Working Stiff
Dear Stiffed,

Ὥρος HōrosYou're in luck. A new multi-million-dollar-budget government bureaucracy is opening for business on August 26; send your resume to the Lake County Election Commission -- and feel free to use your LakeCountyEye as a reference.

Just don't make the mistake of one local wage earner in a situation remarkably similar to yours, who decided to make a big stink over it instead. As readers of this blog are flagrantly aware ...
Sore Losers
A new law, passed this year, transfers election authority from the Lake County Clerk's office to an independent election commission. Lake County Clerk Willard Helander was adamantly opposed to the law; and the Lake County State's Attorney filed a lawsuit last week asking for an injunction to stop the new election commission, and to have the law declared unconstitutional.

Well, guess what? If the courts do grant a temporary injunction, then oversight of elections in Lake County will be in legal limbo until the constitutionality of the law is decided. Quite possibly the court may not make a decision until a week or two before the next Primary Election. And if the law is unconstitutional, then, haha, the Lake County Clerk will have one or two weeks to put together an election.

So now, according to the News-Sun, an attorney representing County Clerk Willard Helander is telling the court that they now want to ...
oppose the request for the temporary injunction, although he refused to elaborate afterward on why he is seeking to fight an injunction against a law Helander has adamantly opposed.
Hearing for elections lawsuit set for Aug. 16
The moral of the story: The next time someone makes a stink, do not be surprised if they get served a steaming plate full of something odious they did not order.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ...

Friday, August 2, 2013

Awesome Is As Awesome Does

Rumor has it that Peter Roskam's campaign staffers never have to wait for the Chinese take-out delivery guy. That's because lobbyists pay for staffers' carfare to the restaurant. Haha, as readers of this blog are wantonly aware ...
A Chinese Junket
Peter Roskam, a Congressman who represents Lake County, got himself into a chinese cucumber pickle by having taken $25,000 from a questionable source for an opportunity to visit Taiwan. Lake County's newspaper of record, the Daily Herald, was not amused -- and, in an editorial, demanded that Roskam ...
Please explain to us and to your suburban constituents why, legal or not, you should accept a free junket apparently engineered by a foreign government that is interested in influencing your exercise of power? In fact, why should you accept a free junket sponsored by anyone seeking to influence you? Please explain to us why, legal or not, you should accept a free trip for your wife, paid for by a private grant that apparently had been engineered by that same foreign government?
Editorial: Roskam, ethics and an oddly funded trip to Taiwan
Smart politicians who are the target of undesirable media quickly pivot to damage control mode. When bad press appears on the Internet, operatives and staff are directed to post rebuttals at the offending websites.

Roskam was the beneficiary of one high-profile proponent -- Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran -- who took the Daily Herald to task on their own turf. Parachuting into the Daily Herald website, Curran dropped an A-Bomb in the comment section of the offending editorial ...

Editorial: Roskam, ethics and an oddly funded trip to Taiwan
... and like a special op, Curran was out as swiftly as he got in.

Operatives faint of heart are advised to avert their eyes. The Daily Herald is punk'd -- Mark Curran lays the smackdown!