Sunday, August 28, 2016

The Sillery Season

Operatives wishing to drown their sorrows can join Robert Dold next week. Dold -- Lake County's serial congressman -- will be headlining a fundraiser at a local watering hole:

Beat Hillary at the Distillery
To see what's brewing, your LakeCountyEye contacted Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Spirit Communications at the College of Lake County.

"Ya." chuckled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "So Donald Trump walks into a bar and orders a 50 foot tall Harvey Wallbanger. The bartender says he can make one ... if Trump can pay for it. Don't worry, says Trump, Mexico will pay for it."

Haha, cute. Your LakeCountyEye produced a clipping from the National Journal:
Rep. Bob Dold (R), who has said he will not support Donald Trump, will headline an anti-Hillary Clinton fundraising event called "Beat Hillary at the Distillery" on Sept. 10.
Dold to Attend Anti-Clinton Event
"Dold is making a smart bet by saying he does not support Trump." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "No one wants to lose the vote of the undocumented worker."

But isn't Dold saying he wants to defeat Hillary Clinton? Your LakeCountyEye did not see how Robert Dold could have things both ways.

Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi nodded. "I don't know either, how anyone can beat Hillary Clinton without supporting Donald Trump. That's like trying to win at poker without any big hands."

Your LakeCountyEye noted that Dold says he is going to vote for a write-in candidate.

"In that case," replied Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi "Dold could vote for Chuck Norris. The US Constitution says Chuck Norris doesn't even need to be on the ballot to be elected President."

Your LakeCountyEye pointed out that Chuck Norris does not run for President -- Presidents run for Chuck Norris.

"Then if I were Dold," offered Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi "I would tell my people to write-in Brad Schneider for President. If Schneider became President then, according to laws of succession, Dold gets the congressional seat."

Maybe Dold has changed his mind, and he now supports Trump?

"That would give Dold and Trump a lot to share in common, then." observed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Trump changes his mind every day. If Trump and Dold had the same shoe size they could swap flip-flops."

Is there anything a Robert Dold gains by supporting Donald Trump?

"There would be a job waiting for Dold in a new Trump Administration." noted Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Head croupier at a Department of Homeland Security Casino."

Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your Ops in the 10th Congressional District to be sure their resumes are up-to-date by November."

Thursday, August 25, 2016

The Comic Con

Fanatic fans of The Family Circus, Hi & Lois, Mary Worth, Garfield can all rejoice. Your opportunity to dress up in public as your favorite comicbook superhero has arrived. Lake County's Comic Con is on -- and will go all weekend.

The News-Sun has the details ...
When: Aug. 26, 27, 28
Where: Lake County Fairgrounds Convention Center, 1060 E. Peterson Road, Grayslake
Tickets: $5-$7 daily; $10 for three-day pass; free for active military and kids 12 and younger

Count-I-Con adds '80s dance, zombie walk
Note to attendees: costumes are optional but you are advised to know your superheroes. Who wants to say hello to the Swamp Thing, only to be told later that you were chatting up the Man Thing? Not your LakeCountyEye!

For that reason, your LakeCountyEye has assembled a cheat sheet of Lake County's most popular costumed crime-fighters. There are only 10 -- all easy to memorize:
Lake County's 10 All-Time Greatest
Comic Book Characters

  1. Stimpson J Cat

  2. Bullwinkle J Moose

  3. Homer J Simpson

  4. Elmer J Fudd

  5. John J Fadoozle

  6. Wolf J Flywheel

  7. Cuthbert J Twillie

  8. Phineas J Whoopee

  9. Sheldon J Plankton

  10. Donald J Trump
Look for the notorious D J LakeCountyEye, mixing it up.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Assessing, the Damage

objection oriented programming Unhappy with your assessment? That's because it is the job of the Lake County Assessor to make an ass out of ess and ment.

Haha, those who disagree with their assessment customarily had 30 days to appeal -- by marching down to the election booth, and throwing their Assessor out of office. And voting-in, instead, an Assessor who will value homes at considerably less than the ones over in the next Township.

A lucrative sleight-of-hand like that, however, is going to have a short shelf-life. According to the Daily Herald
Cuba Township Assessor Rebecca Tonigan says her work to fairly set property values has been "undermined" by an appointed Lake County official. Tonigan and other township assessors are questioning why Lake County Chief Assessment Officer Martin Paulson's office kept them out of the most recent property valuation process. The township assessors contend the result without their input was across-the-board percentage increases set by Paulson's office that could lead to higher property taxes.
Lake County assessors clash over property value hikes
Note to Ops: Cuba Township is just across the border from McHenry County. Where homes are still valued the old fashioned way -- by their Township Assessors.

Just Sayin!

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

The Process of Elimination

flush with success Proponents of clean government suffered a setback this week. Governor Rauner signed a Bill that could liquidate some sanitary districts in Lake County.

For details, see this legislator's press release:
The new law allows the Round Lake Sanitary District and Fox Lake Hills Sanitary District to enter into agreements with Lake County to undertake their assets and responsibilities and eventually dissolve.
New law to save Lake County taxpayers’ money
Note to Ops: Sometimes that campaign press release divulges too much information.

Just sayin!

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Second Bananas

trump action Abraham Lincoln said famously at Gettysburg:
Government of the Second Amendment people, by the Second Amendment people, for the Second Amendment people, shall not perish from the earth.
And the Second Amendment people have spoken. Lake County ranks #4, with the most concealed carry licenses issued in Illinois. The News-Sun said ...
In Lake County, 8,403 people have active concealed carry license holders — a rate of 11.9 holders per 1,000 people, according to a Freedom of Information Act request by the News-Sun.
Lake County fourth in state in concealed carry licenses
Note to Ops: This works out to better than one chance in a hundred the next Lake County voter you meet has a hidden weapon.

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Nothing to see here.

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Agitprop the Presses

Does Lake County's #1 fake newspaper -- the Lake County Gazette -- publish a fake horoscope? The mind boggles.

Haha, as readers of this blog are truly aware ...
The Fake News
homeowners are receiving a political broadsheet from the Liberty Principles PAC, called the Lake County Gazette. Although the Lake County Gazette has all the looks of a real newspaper, it is unknown if anyone is being fooled by it. There is an old saying, however in Illinois politics:
If you are going to lie, at least be good at it.
So perhaps not surprisingly, the publishers of the Lake County Gazette asked to be recognized by the Illinois Press Association. The Illinois Press Association was not amused. They issued a statement that was reprinted in POLITICO:
Technology has significantly lowered the barrier for entry into publishing—for both print and digital, making it extremely difficult to distinguish between legitimate news and political propaganda. News and information shape the decisions we make every day and the importance of news literacy is becoming more and more important each day. People are continually inundated with messages from this growing number of platforms and it is often unclear as to the source or the integrity of the message or the platform.

The newspapers published under the banners of Chambana Sun, DuPage Policy Journal, East Central Reporter, Kankakee Times, Lake County Gazette, McHenry Times, Metro East Sun, North Cook News, Rock Island Today, Sangamon Sun, SW Illinois News, West Central Reporter, West Cook News, are not members of the Illinois Press Association, nor are they eligible for membership in the Association.

Note to Ops at the Lake County Gazette: If you want to be a member of the Illinois Press Association, then just say you are a member of the Illinois Press Association. It's not like you're not the fake news, after all.
Take it from your LakeCountyEye, member in good standing of the Illinois Press Association.

Friday, August 5, 2016

Guilt by Association

There was a fly on the wall this week, at a GOP press conference in Schaumburg. And for the record, the fly was sent to the lab and tested for Zika.

Haha, also present was the Daily Herald -- which said that State Senate candidate Mike Amrozowicz was ...
Flanked by a large poster showing former President Richard Nixon and House Speaker Michael Madigan side by side ...
Suburban GOP lawmakers push for term limits, dismiss questions about unity

A telling pause?
Using the poster as a visual aid, Amrozowicz pointed out that Madigan was first elected in 1971. And in that same year -- 1971 -- Nixon had not been impeached.

Students of history will note that in 1971, Kim Jong-il had not been impeached, either.

Kim Jong-il

Mike Amrozowicz
Dear Reader: It has been decreed that you shall chuckle
at this hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!
That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Don't tell a Seoul.

Monday, August 1, 2016

If the Chicken Feeds it Ledes

What about Berwyn? Summer in Lake County is so hot, you could fry an egg on your patio furniture. Provided, of course, you have the necessary permits for the backyard chicken.

Haha, the Village of Wauconda may allow its homeowners to raise backyard chickens. The Daily Herald says ...
Prompted by residents' inquiries, Wauconda officials are investigating whether to allow people to keep chickens in their backyards.
Should backyard chickens be allowed in Wauconda?
Wauconda is not the first area town to debate the backyard chicken issue, according to these Daily Herald stories:
Bartlett weighing whether to allow backyard chickens

Elgin continuing backyard chicken program

Grayslake to allow backyard hens for eggs

No backyard chickens in Arlington Heights

Palatine man gets his chickens, but that's all for now

Round Lake taking further look at pet chicken request

Mundelein: No chickens, bees in backyards
Informed sources tell your LakeCountyEye that the Daily Herald has been nominated for a Pullet-zer Prize this year.

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. No yolk.