Saturday, December 30, 2017

In Mexico What is the Word for AWOL?

treasurer hunt
Will Lake County Treasurer David Stolman (Republican) be saying Merry Christmas, now that Donald J Trump has declared that we can all say Merry Christmas again? One thing is certain, those who will not be saying Merry Christmas are the Treasurer's employees and staff. The Treasurer's Office ...
had been swamped with an unprecedented number of property owners seeking to prepay their property taxes so they can take advantage of a federal tax deduction set to be rolled back as part of the tax bill Congress approved earlier this month. Lines have been out the door with wait times of 45 to 60 minutes, and they've received more than 2,000 phone calls each day this week
Lake County continues accepting property tax prepayments in wake of tax code overhaul
The new GOP Tax Bill eliminates the property tax deduction on payments made after 2017; and all but guaranteed that the Lake County Treasurer's office would be working overtime and long holiday hours this week.

One person not inconvenienced by the new GOP Tax Bill was Lake County Treasurer David Stolman (Republican). Sources tell your LakeCountyEye that Stolman was nowhere to be seen this holiday week, despite his office being flooded by testy taxpayers.

Don't bother looking for Stolman's name in the story cited above. It was an executive assistant to the Lake County Treasurer who took the Tribune's call.

Where was the no-show Lake County Treasurer? If anybody knows, they're not telling your LakeCountyEye. It's as if the County Building in Waukegan was a David-Stolman-Free Zone.

Note to Ops: If you happen to see David Stolman, anywhere, be sure to wish him a Merry Christmas. Or a Feliz Navidad. Or a whatever.

Thursday, December 28, 2017

Tax Holidays

Nice Stache
The Lake County Census Bureau missed a bet. Everyone from Lake County was in Waukegan this week, to pay their 2018 property taxes in advance. According to the News-Sun ...
Long lines winding through the lobby of the Lake County courthouse are the result of property owners hoping to take advantage of a federal tax deduction set to be rolled back.
Due to unprecedented interest, Lake County opens up online property tax prepayments
The new GOP Tax Bill will eliminate the property tax deduction on payments made after 2017. This added up to those long lines at the County Building this week, into the Treasurer's office. How long were those lines? So long that people made a few extra bucks by renting out their homes to Airbnb while they waited. One homeowner told your LakeCountyEye: "I got plenty of red tape to trim the Christmas tree now!"

Lake County vestigial Congressman Peter Roskam, who sits on the House Ways & Means Committee, is a principal architect of the new Tax Bill. A spokesman issued a statement: "The law includes a provision where anyone who waits in line to pay their property tax before the Dec 29 deadline automatically casts an early vote against Peter Roskam in the 2018 election. So none of you people have to bother with voting against Congressman Roskam next November."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Sunday, December 24, 2017

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

Make Christmas Great Again
Legitimate Businessman. President of the United States. And now Televangelist. Donald J Trump has tweeted that we're all saying Merry Christmas again.

And this means you, you losers at the U.N.:
Merry Christmas!
Amharic መልካም ገና
Arabic عيد ميلاد سعيد
Armenian Շնորհավոր Սուրբ Ծնունդ
Azerbaijani Milad bayramınız mübarək
Bengali মরিচ ক্রিসমাস
Bosnian sretan božić
Chichewa Khrisimasi yabwino
Chinese 圣诞快乐
Croatian sretan Božić
Gujarati મેરી નાતાલ
Hausa m Kirsimeti
Hindi क्रिसमस की बधाई
Hmong zoo siab Christmas
Igbo ezi ekeresimesi
Indonesian Selamat Natal
Kannada ಮೆರ್ರಿ ಕ್ರಿಸ್ಮಸ್
Kazakh рождество құтты болсын
Khmer រីករាយ​ថ្ងៃ​បុណ្យ​ណូអែល
Korean 메리 크리스마스
Kurdish Kirîstmas piroz be
Kyrgyz Рождество майрамы менен
Macedonian среќен Божиќ
Malagasy tratry ny krismasy
Malay Selamat Hari Natal
Malayalam സന്തോഷകരമായ ക്രിസ്മസ്
Maori koa Kirihimete
Marathi मेरी ख्रिसमस
Mongolian баярын зул сар
Burmese ပျော်ရွှင်သောခရစ္စမတ်ဖြစ်ပါစေ
Nepali क्रिसमस मनपर्छ
Pashto کرسمس مو مبارک
Persian کریسمس مبارک
Punjabi ਮੇਰੀ ਕਰਿਸਮਸ
Russian счастливого Рождества
Samoan manuia le kirisimasi
Serbian срећан Божић
Sesotho kereseme e monate
Shona kisimusi yakanaka
Sindhi ميري ڪرسمس
Sinhala සුබ නත්තලක්
Slovenian vesel božič
Somali christmas faraxsan
Spanish Feliz Navidad
Sundanese Wilujeng Natal
Swahili Krismasi ya furaha
Tajik мавлуди Исо муборак
Tamil கிறிஸ்துமஸ் வாழ்த்துக்கள்
Telugu క్రిస్మస్ శుభాకాంక్షలు
Thai สุขสันต์วันคริสต์มาส
Turkish mutlu Noeller
Ukrainian щасливого Різдва
Urdu میری کرسمس
Uzbek Rojdestvo bilan
Vietnamese Giáng sinh vui vẻ
Xhosa Ikrismesi emnandi
Yoruba ikini ọdun keresimesi
Zulu Jabulela Ukhisimusi
Note to Ops: Seasons Greetings!

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Fly Me to the Moon

Does the Creepy Tribune Cartoonist™ want a Rhinoceros for Christmas? He definitely likes to draw pictures of the endangered rhino -- for no apparent reason:

Launch of the Tax Bill
One thing is certain, last Sunday the Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist™ was watching 60 Minutes:

Saving rhino with helicopters
An effort to conserve a species has rhinos flying high ... and upside down
Conservationists in Africa are airlifting Rhinoceroses to safe preserves, before the species is completely wiped out by poachers. More than a 1/4 of the planet falsely believes that rhinoceros horn has medicinal properties.

For the record: Rhinoceros horn does not cure erectile dysfunction.

Just sayin!

Monday, December 18, 2017


Unless your name is Ebenezer Scrooge, it's that most wonderful time of the year. And your LakeCountyEye has compiled a helpful checklist:
Seasonal Decorations
Holiday Gifts
File an Objection to Your Opponent's Nominating Petition
Haha, the Lake County Election Board met this week to hear ballot objections. According to the Daily Herald:
A challenge to the nominating petitions of a Lake County Board candidate was upheld and another overruled Friday, and a candidate in a third county board race withdrew. The Lake County Election Commission completed two hearings Friday.
2 candidates gone after challenges in Lake County Board races
Sharpeyed operatives will recall that an Illinois statute created the Lake County Election Commission back in 2013. And a lawsuit filed by Lake County Board Chairman Aaron Lawlor killed the Lake County Election Commission soon after.

Note to Ops: Like Marley's ghost, the Lake County Election Commission is back from the dead.

Friday, December 15, 2017

Net Neutrality We Hardly Knew Ye

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Sente in the Clowns

In Lake County there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and the Lake County Gazette.

Haha, here is an actual unretouched screencap from Lake County's #1 fake news source, the Lake County Gazette:

Marko Sukovic is running in House District 59 against Rep. Carol Sente (D-Vernon Hills). The district includes Mundelein, Vernon Hills and Wheeling.
Sente opponent calls for further discussion on sanctuary state policy
Even though he is a State Rep candidate in District 59, nobody's ever heard of Marko Sukovic. But the big question remains: Who is Carol Sente?

There's nobody on the ballot for State Rep District 59 who goes by that name:

Illinois State Board of Elections
Note to Ops at the Lake County Gazette: When you outsource your News Division to Russian web bots, you get what you pay for.

Monday, December 11, 2017

Despicable Pete

Legitimate businessman and U.S. President Donald J Trump wants payback. Trump aims to raise taxes on those big urban states that did not vote for him -- like Illinois, New York, California.

One Golden State blogger noticed:
On December 4, 2017, Peter Roskam of Wheaton, Illinois, has been picked as one of the negotiators by Congressman Paul Ryan for the notorious "tax bill and jobs act", passed by the House and Senate recently, that screws the poor and middle class, by giving massive tax breaks to corporations and the filthy rich.
Despised Peter Roskam of Wheaton picked for notorious tax bill negotiations
Peter Roskam, it goes without saying, is one of those minions burning the midnight oil to ensure that Trump's tax bill becomes law before Christmas.

While Roskam is Lake County's vestigial Congressman, few people know that he is also a familiar face in California -- where he had a co-starring role in the Hollywood blockbuster Despicable Me:


For the love of Pete, not another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!
Note to Ops: Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Let the Chips Fall Where they May

It goes without saying that politics is a lot like comedy. If you aren't getting any laughs, you can always work dirty.

This may explain the political cartoon this week inked by the Creepy Chicago Tribune Cartoonist™:

Rauner vs Ives

Or go apeshit?
Is that a shiteating grin on your face or is this is just another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™?
Note to Ops: Even though the Tribune Creepy Cartoonist™ must resort to bathroom humor, that is no thumbs up for you to go ahead and sling mud.

Now go scat!

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Caesarian Delivery

Q: Cur transire ad Rubiconem pullum? A: Ut ad alterum latus.
The massive GOP JackPot Tax Cut is riding a business-class ticket straight to President Donald J Trump's desk. And among the Bill's authors, Lake County vestigial Congressman Peter Roskam is bullish on the uptick:
U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam said Monday the Republican-led House and Senate have "crossed the Rubicon" by passing separate overhauls of the tax code and predicted lawmakers soon would bridge gaps between the two versions.
Roskam: Republicans have 'crossed the Rubicon' with tax overhaul plans
Up and down Lake County, the big question is: "Who are the big winners?" The answer, of course, is: low income middle class wealthy taxpayers.

Haha, j/k. The big question actually is: "Huh -- what's a Rubicon?"

A $64,000 question, to be more precise. So your LakeCountyEye asked the top 1% of the top 1% and you would be surprised to hear what gives. All 10 of them:
Ten Timely Investment Vehicles
for Some of Those
Hard Earned Rubicons
Do Not Delay!
  1. Rubicon Yachts

  2. Rubicon Venture Capital

  3. Gurkha Black Ops Rubicon Cigars

  4. Rubicon Fund Management LLP

  5. Rubicon Estate Winery

  6. Rubicon International Services

  7. Rubicon Wealth Management, LLC

  8. Rubicon Minerals

  9. Rubicon Mortgage Fund, LLC

  10. Rubicon Republican Party
Look for your LakeCountyEye crossing that whatchamacallit near you.

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Iran Nuclear Deal: Is War Back on the Table?

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy
Trita Parsi, founder and President of the National Iranian American Council, will speak on the current status of the Iran nuclear agreement reached in 2015 between that country and the US, United Kingdom, Russia, France, China and Germany.
  • Sunday
    December 10, 2017
    2:00 pm
  • The Stevenson Center on Democracy
    25200 N St Mary's Rd
    Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
  • $15
    (Students Free)

Monday, December 4, 2017

Jill Wine-Banks Keynote Awards Dinner

The Watergate scandal resulted in 69 government officials being charged and 48 were found guilty. That was 45 years ago, back when we had a President who could say things like "When the president does it that means that it is not illegal."

This is a chance to see one of the Watergate Federal prosecutors.

Watergate Prosecutor and MSNBC Contributor
Jill Wine-Banks to Keynote
Local Democrats' Annual Awards Dinner

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Party Pooper

That special time of the year -- those days and nights betwixt Thanksgiving and New Years -- is nigh upon thee. And your LakeCountyEye has a helpful checklist:
Seasonal Decorations
Holiday Gifts
File Your Nominating Petitions
Haha, the deadline to file for office in the 2018 election is December 4, next Monday. While there are many requirements to file, the most important is your Loyalty Oath:

Illinois Loyalty Oath
Sharpeyed operatives will note that you are being asked to swear that you are not a Communist:
... and furthermore, will note that an arguably Communist Party does not exist any more -- at least not outside the territorial boundaries of North Korea.

An embarrassing oversight, to be sure. To rectify the situation, your LakeCountyEye has compiled the names of suitable, alternative extremist political parties, against which Illinois candidates can swear their dis-allegiance. Ten by last count:
10 Political Parties More Appropriate
for the Illinois Loyalty Oath
  1. Guns and Dope Party

  2. United States Pirate Party

  3. Silly Party

  4. Very Silly Party

  5. STAG Party

  6. Surprise Party

  7. Objectivist Party

  8. Sovereign Citizens

  9. Oath Keepers

  10. Republican Party
Look for your LakeCountyEye crashing a party near you.

Monday, November 27, 2017

Turf War

No Foolin'?
Lake County may be the unlawful conviction capitol of Illinois. But if some township assessors get their way, Lake County could become the unlawful contravention capitol as well:
A lawsuit filed Thursday claims policies enacted by Lake County's appointed assessment supervisor are unfairly inflating property tax bills for thousands of residents. The suit filed by the Lake County Assessors Association and several residents argues Lake County Chief Assessment Officer Marty Paulson is ignoring annual revaluations by some township assessors and instead applying a blanket increase on all properties in a township. The suit also names the county as a defendant, since the county board hired Paulson.
Assessors claim Lake County is unfairly taxing thousands
One spokesman who knows a thing or two about township officials said: "If we win this suit then everyone will be able to afford a house in Lake County. And not just these $300-per-hour trial lawyers."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Water/Lead Testing Results: Round Lake High School

This is part of an e-mail sent to parents of Round Lake High School students last week.
Sent: Wednesday, November 22, 2017 9:32 PM
Subject: Water/Lead Testing Results: RLHS

Dear Round Lake High School Parents/Guardians:

The purpose of this letter is to provide you with results of recent water testing that was conducted at Round Lake High School on November 4, 2017. In January 2017, a bill that required Pre-K through 5th grade schools to test drinking water for lead was approved in the State of Illinois. Water is being tested at all schools within the District.

The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) requires corrective action for water samples that contain lead levels above 15 parts per billion (ppb). The Illinois Department of Public Health (IDPH) is administering the law and the requires direct parental notification for any water samples with lead levels above 5 parts per billion.
Testing was completed by DSH&SC. The complete report for RLHS can be located on the District website .

Of the 296 samples taken at RLHS, 41 sample tested above the 5 parts per billion notification level. The list below details the location of each sample.

First Draw
Second Draw

Second Draw
Classroom L203
207 ppb
<2.0 ppb

Classroom B305
5.38 ppb
8.39 ppb
Classroom L203
28.3 ppb
<2.0 ppb

Classroom B301
6.63 ppb
<2.0 ppb
Classroom G301
26.3 ppb
3.48 ppb

Classroom C304
7.89 ppb
<2.0 ppb
Classroom G301
20.5 ppb
12.0 ppb

Classroom C304
6.17 ppb
<2.0 ppb
Classroom G301
13.8 ppb
3.15 ppb

Classroom C304
7.63 ppb
<2.0 ppb
Classroom G302
22.7 ppb
2.36 ppb

Classroom C304
7.61 ppb
<2.0 ppb
Classroom G303
6.83 ppb
4.72 ppb

Classroom C304
5.68 ppb
<2.0 ppb
Classroom G303
110 ppb
76.1 ppb

Classroom C303
7.64 ppb
<2.0 ppb
Classroom G305
5.00 ppb
2.78 ppb

Classroom C303
5.65 ppb
<2.0 ppb
9.74 ppb
<2.0 ppb

Classroom C303
5.87 ppb
<2.0 ppb
Classroom D301
6.47 ppb
5.57 ppb

Classroom C303
6.54 ppb
<2.0 ppb
Classroom B300
11.0 ppb
5.47 ppb

Classroom C302
6.14 ppb
<2.0 ppb
Classroom B300
7.33 ppb
<2.0 ppb

Classroom C302
6.63 ppb
<2.0 ppb
Classroom B304
10.1 ppb
<2.0 ppb

Classroom C302
5.62 ppb
<2.0 ppb
Classroom B310
5.89 ppb
<2.0 ppb

Classroom C302
9.59 ppb
<2.0 ppb
Classroom B310
6.62 ppb
<2.0 ppb

Classroom C302
7.10 ppb
<2.0 ppb
Classroom B307
5.40 ppb
<2.0 ppb

Classroom K223
5.28 ppb
3.48 ppb
Classroom B305
10.5 ppb
23.4 ppb

Upon receiving results, the identified areas were immediately taken out of commission. Remedies for these areas will include filtration systems and replacement of fountain and any necessary plumbing which may be causing the higher than acceptable levels of lead. These areas will be retested once remedies are complete. Follow up results will be communicated to you once available.

For additional information about lead testing, please visit:
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
After seeing the effects of lead contamination in Flint Michigan, it is disturbing to know that this can also occur in Lake County.

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Stick to Your Gunsels

"zero emissions endless possibilities"
It has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that we're saying Merry Christmas again. So as a consequence, this year's holiday quiz will test your vocabulary.

The News-Sun wants to know ...
what word is best to characterize those who commit crimes, engage in criminal activity and terrorize neighborhoods and residents. "Hoodlums" used to be an all-around catch-all phrase cops once employed. "Perps" is another police-friendly phrase. "Gunsels" is quite dated.
Words can hurt, but then so can thugs and gunsels
  • Hoodlum
  • Perp
  • Gunsel
Now, your LakeCountyEye can tell you what a hoodlum is. And what a perp is. But -- huh -- what's a gunsel?


From Yiddish גענדזל‏ (gendzl, "gosling")

  1. A young man kept for homosexual purposes; a catamite.
Operatives are reminded, don't overdo it this Thanksgiving weekend. Go easy on the stuffing.