Tuesday, March 29, 2016


no younger than 14, in Iowa The bigshots among the Illinois GOP have been asked to drop their guns. They cannot bring firearms to the Republican Convention. According to the Sun-Times ...
Secret Service will not allow people to carry guns into the July Republican National Convention in Cleveland, quashing the hopes of more than 45,000 people who have signed a petition saying attendees should be allowed to bring firearms. The Secret Service said on Monday it has the authority to preclude guns from sites visited by the people it protects such as U.S. presidential candidates, presidents and former presidents.
Secret Service says 'no' to guns at Republican convention
Some convention-goers are not giving up without a fight. A new online petition has been posted, saying the Secret Service should to be abolished.

One presidential candidate was quick to rebuff the idea: "Then who is supposed to quarterback the booty patrol, after I get to the White House?"

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Giv'em the gun.

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Conventional Weapons

Lake County Republicans bound for the GOP Convention face a vexing choice: Which guns should they take with, to Cleveland this July?

FOX 32 observes that ...
Thousands of people have signed a petition demanding the right to carry guns at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland this summer. Ohio is an open carry state, but guns are banned at Quicken Loans Arena. The Change.Org petition claims that Cleveland is a dangerous place, and that the GOP and the owners of Quicken Loans Arena are depriving attendees of their right to carry arms. Petitioners also claim that the GOP convention might be a target for ISIS terrorists.
Thousands demand right to carry guns at GOP convention
Packing a suitcase is a taxing enough, even without having to pack heat. So your LakeCountyEye consulted an expert, Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Unconventional Behavior at the College of Lake County.

"Ya," said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Who in their right mind would get anywhere near Cleveland without their pocket rocket?"

Easier said than done, it occurs to your LakeCountyEye.

"No doubt about it," agreed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "it is difficult to transport your guns and ammo by commercial air, these days. If they want my opinion, the RNC should reserve some space on the floor for a gun show. That way the delegates could arm themselves after they get to the convention site. Plus, firearm vendors never do background checks. So the Republican delegates with mental illnesses or felony convictions will be properly armed as well."

Other than standing tall for the 2nd Amendment, your LakeCountyEye was not sure why GOP delegates were making a fuss over their right to bear arms.

"Some delegates are itching for a floor fight, and they need to come prepared. You never want to bring a knife to a gun fight." Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi then smiled. "Forewarned is forearmed."

Have the Presidential candidates said anything?

"I hear Ted Cruz plans to secure the uncommitted delegates by doling out the pork," confided Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "He will be frying bacon on the barrel of his AR-15."

So, should anyone who likes his bacon crispy be worried about ISIS?

Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi shook his head. "The last place ISIS would attack is at the Republican convention -- Donald Trump might be ISIS's best recruiter. ISIS may be crazy but I don't think they are stupid. They ought to pledge a donation to every candidate who radicalizes a new ISIS recruit with his campaign rhetoric."

Nothing a little waterboarding wouldn't fix. Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your operatives that if they plan to attend the Republican Convention, they better be sure they are signed up for ObamaCare."

Friday, March 25, 2016

The Pensioner's Delemma

Your LakeCountyEye is obligated by due deligence to post this undeluted screen cap taken from the Internet:
County Seeks Delapidated Home's Condemnation
The source of the shoddelly captioned blog post is the antedeluvian McHenryCountyBlog.

Deligent readers may suspect that crocodele tears are being shed over this delettantish effort -- which your LakeCountyEye will readely admit.

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. No more delly-dallying.

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

The Elephant in the Rumpus Room

make america great again Wednesday may be hump day, but last Tuesday was Trump Day in Lake County. Trump dominated the GOP Primary throughout the County, outpacing his closest rival, Jeb Bush, by a comfortable 30,697 to 524.

Trump romped -- despite dire predictions in the wake of an aborted Trump rally in Chicago, a week before the election:
"Donald Trump created that hostile environment," said state Rep. Ed Sullivan, a Mundelein Republican and backer of Ohio Gov. John Kasich. He predicted a backlash against Trump. But if there isn't one, Sullivan said, "God help us."
Trump backlash swift and loud, but does it matter?
It is conceivable that God asked for a Democratic ballot, because the predicted backlash did not occur.

One political scientist told your LakeCountyEye: "Trump does so well at the ballot box because voters say they won't vote for Trump, and then they vote for Trump. The pollsters need to understand that Trump voters speak in code."

Well, your LakeCountyEye has not only cracked that code, but can identify with 100% certainty who will vote for Donald Trump. Listen for one of these 10 tell-tale tip-offs:
Ten Euphemisms for Voting for Donald Trump
  1. Punch One ... In the Face

  2. Pull a Short Finger

  3. Take a Trump

  4. Fondled the Donald

  5. Got My Degree in P/E at Trump University

  6. Buy a Rauner

  7. Let's Juice the Orange

  8. Voto a Favor de Donaldo Trump

  9. It's Gonna Be HUGE

  10. Trump You
Look for your LakeCountyEye wearin' the orange at a Trump Rally near you.

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Cancel My Subscription to the General Election

If it's on the Internet, it must be true. March Madness has arrived, and your LakeCountyEye is two for two. In the wake of the March Madness March 15 Primary, your LakeCountyEye predicted that State Senator Dan Duffy would resign early, and then predicted he would be replaced by Dan McConchie:
Take this Job and Duff It
McConchie, a right-to-life lobbyist who fought a close primary battle, will be the GOP candidate in the November election for Duffy's Senate seat. Now the Daily Herald says McConchie will be picked to serve out the remainder of Duffy's term in the State Senate:
Lake County Republican Chairman Mike Amrozowicz said picking McConchie in this case is a "no-brainer" because voters have already spoken.
McConchie likely to start state Senate term early
If the voters have spoken, however, it is not 100% clear what they said -- especially in McHenry County, where the primary election was botched. One party official spoke candidly to the Northwest Herald ...
"It was the worst-managed election I have ever experienced living in McHenry County, and it's been 20 years. ... I don't know why anybody would trust the results of the election yesterday."
McHenry County primary election: 'Worst-managed' in decades or isolated problems?
Your LakeCountyEye observes that the Daily Herald trusts those results, implicitly. And moreover, with zero percent of the precincts reporting, the Daily Herald has already called the November election in McConchie's favor:
McConchie likely to start state Senate term early
One McHenry County spokesman told your LakeCountyEye: "If Mr McConchie wants to start his 2017 Senate term early, that's fine with us. And if that means canceling the November, 2016 election, that's fine with us as well."

Friday, March 18, 2016

Take this Job and Duff It

... but don't keep calm and quit your day job. If the Illinois Senate is a two-way street, then State Senator Dan Duffy just blew his last red light.

Haha, the lameduck District 26 Senator says he will resign early.  According to the Northwest Herald ...
Duffy, R-Lake Barrington, announced the day after Tuesday's election that he would resign his 26th Illinois Senate District seat effective April 3 to take a job as president and CEO of Prevent Child Abuse America, a Chicago-based nonprofit with chapters in all 50 states, most of which do home visitations to ensure the healthy development of children.
Illinois Sen. Dan Duffy to step down early to lead nonprofit
Note to Ops: Nostradamus has nothing on your LakeCountyEye. Not to brag but, it was as far back as 2011 that this blog predicted Dan Duffy would resign from his Senate seat:
Freakout Punch
(To put this feat in perspective, Nostradamus was still alive in 2011.)

Duffy's announcement came one day after the election -- where Dan McConchie won a closely contested GOP primary in Senate District 26. It was probably no coincidence that Duffy waited until after a winner was called in his Senate district.

Republican Party insiders have been tasked with appointing someone to serve the remainder of Duffy's term, which expires at the end of the year. And your LakeCountyEye can now predict with great certainty that those insiders will select Casey Urlacher. The current Mayor of Mettawa, Urlacher finished a close second behind McConchie in the primary.

Haha, j/k. You don't need to be Nostradamus to know that the GOP insiders will appoint McConchie -- a pro-life lobbyist and activist -- to fill Duffy's vacant seat.

Well, duh.

Thursday, March 17, 2016

For an Election Lasting More Than 24 Hrs, Seek Medical Help

This isn't what I ordered! Your LakeCountyEye has some good news to report from Mini-Super-Tuesday: Election numbers are finally trickling in from McHenry County.

Haha, if you lost sleep Tuesday night waiting to see who won in Illinois, it's not because you totally forgot about daylight savings time. Thank McHenry County instead -- which totally bungled the election. According to the Northwest Herald, problems already ...
started with the opening of the polls at 6 a.m. with the failure in some precincts of the electronic poll books used to verify voters' registration, and continued into Wednesday. As of late Wednesday – a full 24 hours after the closing of county polls that were extended 90 minutes by emergency court order – County Clerk Mary McClellan's office had yet to post the provisional ballots cast during that hour and a half. A number of county and state races were too close to call. It's a given among veteran McHenry County candidates something always goes wrong in the county on Election Day.
McHenry County primary election: 'Worst-managed' in decades or isolated problems?
One contest impacted was the heavily mail-bombed Senate District 26:
Though he was leading a tight three-way race in the 26th Illinois Senate District Republican primary, Dan McConchie was not ready to declare victory on Wednesday afternoon.
Dan McConchie leads close 26th Illinois Senate race, not declaring victory yet
Dan McConchie was reluctant to declare victory because his opponent, Casey Urlacher, did unexpectedly well in McHenry County. Despite the fact that the McHenry County GOP prides itself on being solidly pro-life -- and that Dan McConchie lobbies for Americans United for Life (a pro-life organization) -- Urlacher (the Mayor of Mettawa) beat McConchie in McHenry County by 6 percentage points. The only plausible explanation for this sort of ballotbox behavior would have to be that Casey Urlacher is the brother of an Ex-Chicago Bear, Brian Urlacher. And that they share the same last name.

One political scientist summed up the situation on the ground in McHenry County: "I don't think anyone in McHenry County ever got tipped off that there was supposed to be an election on March 15."

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Louis

The voters sent a message to the Lake County GOP, soundly rejecting establishment candidates backed by Party insiders. Your LakeCountyEye, of course, refers to the stunning defeat of Louis Atsaves for the post of Moraine 203 Committeeman. The soon to be ex-Moraine Township GOP Chair, Atsaves was defeated by one Margaret "Peggy" Siebert -- of whom your LakeCountyEye has never heard:

Lake County -- Election Results
The numbers were not close, but your LakeCountyEye sill expects to see a petition for a recount. One Party insider predicted it would possible to make up a 100-plus vote deficit, "provided they have a stack of absentee ballots salted away somewhere in some Post Office".

Another Party insider was less sanguine. He told your LakeCountyEye that sometimes they are not booing -- they are actually chanting LOUIS LOUIS. But in this situation however the Moraine voters were in fact booing.

Despite the unexpected loss, your LakeCountyEye has no doubt that Party insider Louis Atsaves will land on his feet. Atsaves's wife was appointed by Governor Rauner to a Commission that compensates its members at nearly $120,000/year:
Clout of Commissions
With the unexpected freetime available, perhaps Mr Atsaves will take the opportunity to reanimate his blog Common Sense in Illinois' 10th, which like Ted Williams's head is currently preserved under cryogenic suspension. One Party insider observed that Ted Williams's lifetime batting average -- .344 -- would have been good for a solid second-place finish in Moraine 203.

Sunday, March 13, 2016

The Breaking News

An actual unretouched headline, lede and screencap from Lake County newspaper of record, the Chicago Tribune:
The McLaughlin campaign has received word that multiple complaints have been filed against lobbyist Dan McConchie, candidate for State Senate, for breaking election laws and illegally coordinating campaign activities with special interest PACs and political nonprofit organizations.
From the community: Lobbyist Dan McConchie Caught Breaking Election Law
The link is broken, and the Trib may have expunged the webpage. But the original can be seen on the Wayback Machine:
Lobbyist Dan McConchie Caught Breaking Election Law
(Internet Archive)

Internet Archive Wayback Machine
Your LakeCountyEye contacted one legal expert, who was all like: "I'd tell them, if they can't sue the Tribune for libel, at least try suing the Internet Archive."

Note to Ops: This information is intended for satirical purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Cruz in Chicago

Your LakeCountyEye went to a hockey game this week. And a Donald Trump rally broke out.

Haha. Much like when the Mongol hordes crossed the Russian Steppes, the Presidential candidates were in Illinois to ask for your vote next Tuesday.

One candidate, GOP frontrunner Ted Cruz, flew in to dispel rumors that he is not trustworthy enough to be President:
Ted Cruz looked to expand upon his base of support in Illinois on Friday, portraying himself to party regulars in Chicago and the Northwest suburbs as the only candidate who had the delegates and the ability to overtake Donald Trump.
Cruz tells suburban GOP only he can overtake Trump
With the Illinois Primary just 3 days away, your LakeCountyEye has been privy to a squatload of oppo dumps. And the junior Senator from Texas has not gone unsullied.

Did you know that Ted Cruz was an original cast member of the 60s sitcom Green Acres?

Ted Cruz

Mr Haney
This is no repeat of another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!
Arnold the Pig (who incidentally is registered to vote in Lake County) was unavailable for comment.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Retire, Rehash, Reefer

Paid For by the Rauner Turnaround AgendaSome township senior centers have been asked to set an extra chair at the mah-jong table. Chief Keef -- rap star and Lake County favorite son -- is retiring:
Chief Keef is throwing in the towel when it comes to his rap career. The Chicago-based rhymer announced his retirement on Twitter last week, saying that too many rappers sound like him.
Chief Keef Announces Retirement, Says Too Many Rappers Sound Like Him
One retirement planner told your LakeCountyEye that savvy millennials are cashing-in early -- particularly in states where Medicare payments can be applied toward their medical marijuana.

Keef's announcement impacts the City of Waukegan, which is sponsoring a music festival in May:
Despite skepticism from several aldermen about the logistics of staging a large concert at Waukegan Municipal Beach, the City Council voted unanimously Monday to strike a deal with Vet Fest LLC that would allow a series of Memorial Day weekend concerts.
Waukegan finalizes deal for Vet Fest, acts could be announced soon
Your LakeCountyEye has learned that festival organizers are now negotiating with a Chief Keef tribute band:
Chief and Re-Keef
A Ted Nugent tribute band has already been booked to headline the event:
A Complete Re-Ted
Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Q the Eye/03.08.16

Dear LakeCountyEye,

How can I become fantastically famous in Lake County?

A Short Fingered Vulgarian
Dear Mr Trump,Ὥρος Hōros

First and foremost, do not be a candidate for President of the United States. A surer path to oblivion has not been devised. Remember Lincoln Chafee or George Pataki? Your LakeCountyEye did not think so.

Like every first-time candidate, you need to make the acquaintance of your voters by direct mail. Nothing can turn a disengaged electorate into rabid supporters quite like a stack of 4-color full-page glossy paeans to your awesomeness. Haha, j/k. If anything, those campaign mailers of yours will be turned directly into into the dumpster.

A Lake County candidate is better advised instead to establish a presence on social media. And by social media, your LakeCountyEye, of course, refers to the blogosphere. Where else do Netizens of all stripes gather to swap pics of the grandkids and kitty videos?

And while many in number, there is one (and only one) Internet blog that can be said to serve the entire body politic of Lake County. Your LakeCountyEye, of course, refers to the McHenry County Blog. Their web traffic is just huge. And by huge, your LakeCountyEye means HUGE. Any candidate who finds his name posted on the the McHenry County Blog is guaranteed to become a household name in Lake County.

The trick is simple and foolproof: Retrieve all of those discarded campaign mailers out of your trashbin, highlight your name and address, and send them to the McHenry County Blog:

Proft PAC Disses Urlacher & McLaughlin

Realtors Mails Second Piece for McLaughlin

Proft PAC Hits Urlacher as “Enemy”

Act today and you will be hugely famous quicker than you can say Walter Mondale!

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ...LakeCountyEye@gMail.com

Saturday, March 5, 2016

A Discussion of the Syrian Crisis, the Iran Connection and How They Impact the Middle East

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy
Irv Badr, who spent his childhood living and studying in the Middle East, South Asia and South East Asia is an authority on the area's politics, religions and cultures. He has traveled extensively in the region and is fluent in multiple Middle Eastern languages. Badr is a frequent speaker at Middle East forums and political interest groups' gatherings in the Chicago area.
  • Sunday
    March 13, 2016
    2:00 pm
  • The Stevenson Center on Democracy
    25200 N St Mary's Rd
    Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
    773- 281-0378
  • $15
    No Charge for Students
  • Coffee and Conversation Afterwards

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Campaign Cash

The next Illinois primary election will be held in two weeks. Since most Operatives are occupied with stealing yardsigns, the month's pop quiz is a simple multiple choice:
Who said it?
We're going to grab and grab and grab. We're going to bring in so much money and so much everything.
(a) Donald Trump
If you chose (a) give yourself a nice fat wrongful conviction settlement. The correct answer is Donald Trump.

Haha, as campaign promises go, the appeal of free money is certainly as good as any and probably better than most. Just ask Bernie Madoff or Reverend Ike.

This is a lesson not lost on the candidates in Illinois Senate District 26, where the voters are primed to get rich quick if they elect the right person:
Tuesday, March 15 is Primary day. Until then your LakeCountyEye will be pricing some canine-friendly retirement property in the Waukegan Savanna.