Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Q the Eye/03.08.16

Dear LakeCountyEye,

How can I become fantastically famous in Lake County?

A Short Fingered Vulgarian
Dear Mr Trump,Ὥρος Hōros

First and foremost, do not be a candidate for President of the United States. A surer path to oblivion has not been devised. Remember Lincoln Chafee or George Pataki? Your LakeCountyEye did not think so.

Like every first-time candidate, you need to make the acquaintance of your voters by direct mail. Nothing can turn a disengaged electorate into rabid supporters quite like a stack of 4-color full-page glossy paeans to your awesomeness. Haha, j/k. If anything, those campaign mailers of yours will be turned directly into into the dumpster.

A Lake County candidate is better advised instead to establish a presence on social media. And by social media, your LakeCountyEye, of course, refers to the blogosphere. Where else do Netizens of all stripes gather to swap pics of the grandkids and kitty videos?

And while many in number, there is one (and only one) Internet blog that can be said to serve the entire body politic of Lake County. Your LakeCountyEye, of course, refers to the McHenry County Blog. Their web traffic is just huge. And by huge, your LakeCountyEye means HUGE. Any candidate who finds his name posted on the the McHenry County Blog is guaranteed to become a household name in Lake County.

The trick is simple and foolproof: Retrieve all of those discarded campaign mailers out of your trashbin, highlight your name and address, and send them to the McHenry County Blog:

Proft PAC Disses Urlacher & McLaughlin

Realtors Mails Second Piece for McLaughlin

Proft PAC Hits Urlacher as “Enemy”

Act today and you will be hugely famous quicker than you can say Walter Mondale!

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ...LakeCountyEye@gMail.com

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