Sunday, December 29, 2013

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Repeat

And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper? Your LakeCountyEye learned a valuable lesson this week: do not dispose of that old Christmas tree by burning it, especially out on the front lawn. Instead, the recycle bin is the best place to discard a plastic and aluminum tree.

Haha, it's that time of year to ring out the old, ring in the new. Fittingly, as of January 1, recycling will be mandated for everyone in Lake County. Like it or not, according to the Daily Herald ...
While curbside recycling already is offered by waste haulers to many homes in unincorporated areas, a new county law requires it be provided universally as part of the trash service. "Now, you're going to get recycling whether you like it or not and you're going to pay for it," said Walter Willis, executive director of the Solid Waste Agency for Lake County.
Recycling coming to unincorporated Lake County
Your LakeCountyEye likes it not, preferring the tried and true: simply chuck those unwanted recyclables over the nearest Route 53 Extension noise barrier wall. Out of sight, out of mind!

Admittedly your LakeCountyEye has, in the past, made a withdrawal from a recycle bin. Or two. Or three. (Your political opponent's curbside trash is archaeological gold to any oppo researcher. Totally.) But your LakeCountyEye is not yet in the habit of using a recycling container to make a deposit.

Is it possible to teach an old dog new tricks? Time will tell. Until then, the LakeCountyEye recycle bin is already nearly filled to capacity. There may be room to squeeze in there maybe 10 more recycle-worthy discardables.
Ten Things to Expect in a Lake County Recycle Bin
  1. Walsh for Congress Yardsigns

  2. Medical Marijuana Seeds and Stems

  3. AR 15 Backyard Target Practice Shell Casings

  4. Copies of US Senate Nominating Petitions
    (IL, Republican)

  5. Dos Equis Empties
    Stay thirsty my friends!

  6. Leftover Daily Herald eEditions

  7. "No Electioneering Within 100 Feet"
    Property of the Lake County Election Commission

  8. Lead Slugs that Won't Go In the Video Gambling Machines

  9. Curran for Attorney General Yardsigns

  10. Depleted Tinfoil Hats
Look for your LakeCountyEye, dumpsterdiving near you.

Thursday, December 26, 2013


The News-Sun can boast some memorable headlines. Your LakeCountyEye recalls this classic from July of 2012 ...
Hard to swallow — heroin hidden in suspect's butt
A headline of that caliber deserves to be embroidered and hung on a wall. Happily, the good old reliable News-Sun has delivered again, this week, with ...

Rep. Schneider tauts new tech in town hall meeting
No doubt this headline counts as a mere also-ran. But that's because Tauts New Tech, technically speaking, is a spellaprop -- while Hard to Swallow answers the question of whether or not newspaper headline writers are permitted to ingest performance enhancing substances, during their lunch breaks.

A spellaprop occurs when a misspelled word defeats a spell-checker because it is the wrong word but spelled correctly. In "Rep. Schneider tauts new tech in town hall meeting", the word tauts functions as a verb but lexicographically is an adjective:
Taut \Taut\, adj. [Dan. t[ae]t; akin to E. tight. See Tight.]
1. Tight; stretched; not slack.
2. Snug; close; firm; secure.
It is hard to tell what the News-Sun headline writer had originally intended to say. Any of these qualify as a reasonable guess:
  • Toots
  • Texts
  • Torts
  • Tilts
  • Twits
  • Taints
  • Toasts
  • Taunts
  • Trouts
  • Twerks
A little bird, however, tells your LakeCountyEye that the intended word might have been TWEETS ...

I Taut I Taw A Puddy Tat
Look for your LakeCountyEye, tauting a performance enhancing substance near you.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!

a gateway gunChristmas only comes once a year in Lake County. And if you are anything like your LakeCountyEye then, as the Holiday nears, visions of sugar-plums dance in your heads.

In Highland Park those sugar-plums may be doing the sabre-rattling dance. According to one News-Sun story, published on Christmas Eve ...
A Highland Park pediatrician and the Illinois State Rifle Association are challenging the constitutionality of the city of Highland Park's assault weapons ban which, they say, prohibits firearms commonly used for self-defense within the home. Arie S. Friedman and the rifle association are asking for an injunction to prevent enforcement of a law that assault weapons be turned in or rendered inoperable.
Lawsuit challenges Highland Park's assault weapons ban
While the Holiday Season may seem to be an unlikely time for a 2nd Amendment court battle, your LakeCountyEye has been told that an injunction is immediately needed now. One source (who sounded like a character straight out of a low-budget movie, similar to A Christmas Story) told your LakeCountyEye: "How many little boys and girls will have their Christmas ruined when they find, under the tree, a big bar of soap, or something even less palatable ... and not the AR-15 assault rifle that was promised by Santa?"

Tough questions indeed. Look for your LakeCountyEye in Highland Park, this Christmas. There promises to be fresh venison on the grill.

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Highway of Dreams

Terra Nullius Lake County transportation planners all agree on two things. In the future automobiles will only be found in museums. And in the future they will still be trying to fund the Route 53 Extension.

Haha, the Lake County Division of Transportation's 2040 master plan does not anticipate phalanxes of motorists cruising up and down a Route 53 Extension. Instead, according to the News-Sun ...
"The big push here is to get people out of their cars," said Bruce Christensen, transportation coordinator. "There are people who would bike, if they had the facilities." But Christensen said the No. 1 item on their wish list is a gift from another agency: the state Route 53 extension from Lake Cook to Route 120 in the county's center, a project that the Illinois State Toll Highway Authority has discussed for decades. A new planning committee, of which Underwood is a member, is searching for ways to fund the idea that would include a bicycle path. But Christensen said he had seen plenty of such groups come and go. "I'm 67 years old, and they started reviewing the extension when I was in high school," he said.
Lake County 2040 transit plan steers away from cars
Translation: if you hold any hope of riding the Route 53 Extension in your lifetime, don't hold your breath.

The cost of the gold-plate super-highway is fast approaching $3 billion. The News-Sun says ...
Revised cost estimates for all 25 miles of a Route 53/120 extension in 2020 dollars now include a high-end figure of $2.87 billion, nearly $500 million more than a low-end estimate aired last year. New price ranges were revealed Tuesday, Dec. 3, at a finance committee meeting of the Route 53/120 Blue Ribbon Advisory Council (BRAC), the public/private panel that recommended construction of the roadway in June 2012.
New Illinois Route 53 roadwork estimates could reach $2.87 billion
One implausible contact from the Blue Ribbon Advisory Council told your LakeCountyEye that alternative funding sources are under consideration:
  • Cultivate medical marijuana on the median strip that divides the high-speed lanes.

  • Install video gambling machines in the toll booths.

  • License conceal carry owners to use highway signs for target practice.

  • Sell the Route 53 naming rights. Smirnoff, are you listening?
"Until we start getting some serious proposals," the contact told your LakeCountyEye "we might just as well hold a bake sale. By the way, our toll house cookies are second to none."

Please do not drop your cookies in a Route 53 toll basket.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

More Laws

legal apologetics They say laws are like sausages -- the best ones are all pork. Haha, a whole rash of new Illinois laws will arrive with the new year. And operatives are advised to take note.

To help sort through all the clauses, your LakeCountyEye consulted Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Legal Technicalities at the College of Lake County. Your LakeCountyEye met Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi at the Deer Park Mall, where he was dressed as Santa Claus.

"The new gay marriage law does not go into effect until 2014." he said. "Please get off my lap."

Your LakeCountyEye quickly apologized.

Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi explained why he was working as a mall Santa: "I need the money. Last month I threw a cigarette out of my car. That cost me $1,500!"

One new Illinois law will penalize anyone caught improperly disposing a cigarette. Your LakeCountyEye asked if he was fined for littering.

"Are you kidding?" replied Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Heck no. I dropped a medical marijuana cigarette."

Your LakeCountyEye quickly guessed that the lost blunt had an estimated street value of $1,500.

"Precisely." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "And just for the record I am privy to that information second-hand."

Your LakeCountyEye observed that medical marijuana will be legal in 2014.

"Ya, but don't go and change the bong water just yet." sighed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Municipalities in Lake County are all passing ordinances to restrict the cultivation and distribution of cannabis."

That's harsh, thought your LakeCountyEye.

"Harsh to the extreme." agreed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "But some clever entrepreneurs have already found a loophole in the restrictions. I won't name any names, but if you're at a Christmas tree lot, don't let the guy sell you a Scotch Pine or Colorado Blue Spruce. Ask instead for an Acapulco Gold."

Awesome, thought your LakeCountyEye.

"Word on the street," whispered Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "is that municipal tree-lighting ceremonies are breaking attendance records this year."

By now, the children in line to see Santa were getting impatient and cranky. Your LakeCountyEye asked if there were any other new laws that operatives should know about.

"Absolutely." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi.  "Your operatives will be able to carry a concealed weapon, in 2014. And just for the record, that was a gun in my pocket."

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Jingle Drone?

December is the time of the year when everyone in Lake County stops to pause and reflect. They search the heavens for some sign of an old and familiar emissary of largess & free gifts making his daily rounds.

Santa and his sleighful of eight tiny reindeer? Haha, good guess but dead wrong. Your LakeCountyEye, of course, refers to President Barack Obama riding a predator drone.

Chicago Tribune
Quite frankly, your LakeCountyEye thought the joke was funnier the first time around -- in Dr Strangelove ...
Fear not, you did not witness a nuclear double pulse.
This is another atom side splitting LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!
Your LakeCountyEye wonders if the Tribune Creepy Political Cartoonist™ has ever seen North by Northwest ...
Now, that is how the funny gets done, son -- just sayin!

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Q the Eye/12.12.13

Dear LakeCountyEye,

How many petition signatures do I need to win the next election?

Fifty Percent Plus One
Dear Fiddy, Ὥρος Hōros

In Illinois? Zero. But you will need to knock all of your opponents off the ballot.

Haha, ever since an little known community organizer named Barack Obama got elected to the Senate by maneuvering Everett Dirksen off the ballot, the sure path to electoral supremacy has been the petition challenge.

With Illinois election law wound tighter than a $2 watch, anyone who knows which end of the yardsign goes in the ground can get their opponent thrown off the ballot. And your LakeCountyEye is not about to enumerate the various ways to engineer an election challenge (although there are in fact ten of them). Instead, the secret to a truly successful challenge is in delegating your petition challenge over to the appropriate frontman.

Nothing says triple-digit-percent election loss like a lone candidate who files a petition challenge on his own behalf:

It goes without saying, someone without any friends willing to challenge the opponent's petition is probably not going to do any better on election night.

Take it from your LakeCountyEye, this is the sort of dirty job that needs to be done by a frontman. And by frontman your LakeCountyEye means party hack.

Latest Objections Filed
The minute your objection is filed, your opponent will be telling the media that you are undemocratic, play dirty politics, and want to deprive the voters of their rightful ballot choice. But with a frontman doing all your dirtywork, you look those media guys square in the eye and tell them you don't know a thing about the objection against your challenger -- but you wish him well. And by frontman your LakeCountyEye means hatchetman.

So if you're the next Barack Obama destined for glory in the US Senate, make it your #1 priority to find some Party goon willing to take the fall for knocking all your opponents off the ballot.


And if you don't know the name of a willing stooge, just call. Your LakeCountyEye knows someone who works cheap!

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ...

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Remembering Sandy Hook on the First Anniversary

Lake/McHenry Organizing for Action will be hosting a Lake County event on gun violence.

Remembering Sandy Hook on the First Anniversary

Saturday, December 14, 2013 from 2:00 – 4:00 pm

Genesee and Clayton Streets, Waukegan

Lake/McHenry Organizing for Action (OFA) invites you join them in a public event:
Remembering Sandy Hook on the First Anniversary
Goals of the event are to remember the victims of Sandy Hook and local gun violence victims and to raise public awareness for Congressional action to pass common sense gun legislation and Universal Background Checks.
For more information, visit the website: Lake McHenry OFA

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Charm Offensive

The National Republican Congressional Committee is already girding its loins for the 2014 election, and women voters are targeted. Your LakeCountyEye is serious. According to POLITICO ...
Speaker John Boehner is serious, too. His own top aides met recently with Republican staff to discuss how lawmakers should talk to female constituents. "Let me put it this way, some of these guys have a lot to learn," said a Republican staffer who attended the session in Boehner's office.
GOP men tutored in running against women
One of those guys decidedly not with a lot to learn is Lake County's ladies man in Washington, Congressman Peter Roskam. Despite a record of voting for Bills that would handcuff women against making reproductive choices, obtaining affordable health care, and providing basic nutrition & educational services to their children, Roskam has always been able to count on the ladies of his district to provide him with a comfortable cushion of victory at the polls.

If you are one of those guys with a lot to learn -- and you know who you are -- you've come to the right place. For a LakeCountyEye exclusive, Peter Roskam has generously agreed to share some of his secrets and tips on how to win over those very special ladies:
Roskam's Rules for Charming Your Impressionable Women Voters
Be Complimentary
Remember the old saying: catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

You paid for those pearly whites -- show some of them!

Do Not Be Overbearing
They may be the weaker sex, but resist the temptation to take advantage of it.

Look Good
Before After

Show Your Passion
No one is going to name any names, Congressman Hultgren.
Tomorrow: Ex-Congressman Joe Walsh reminds you that fathers have rights, too.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Chrome Drones

Lake County cyber-shoppers are have been informed their Christmas deliveries will arrive late this year. The Amazon Drone was last seen stuck in the bug-zapper at the South Lake Mosquito Abatement District.

Haha, the Amazon Drone is some web-widget-thingy that uses to deliver their tax-free Panatelas, and whatnot, without incurring UPS costs. Your LakeCountyEye found a picture of the drone on the Internet:

Chicago Tribune
Sharp-eyed operatives will have immediately recognized the work of your LakeCountyEye's very own Creepy Tribune Cartoonist™. Sharper-eyed ops will notice the caption in the cartoon is wrong, and should suspect a printer's error. Here is the corrected caption:
Shouldn't Send 'Em Over McHenry County
For those doubting that a screwup of that caliber is even possible, here's the skinny:
You weren't just blindsighted by the glare.
Nope, this is another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!
Note to ops: When in McHenry County, be vigilant for Bezos with guns.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Polls, Tolls and Rigamaroles

Christmas 2013 is out of the red and squarely in the green -- Black Friday was a jing-a-ling success in Lake County. Your LakeCountyEye, eyes always peeled for a bargain, laid some hands on a new Steely Dan ...

... album:
When Black Friday comes
I'll collect everything I'm owed
And before my friends find out
I'll be on the road.

Katy Lied
The road in question, of course, is the Route 53 Extension.

Haha, operatives still stuck in holiday traffic can pass the time by participating in the Route 53 Extension Project Feasibility Analysis Survey. The Daily Herald has the details ...
Do I want to pay $3.45 instead of 95 cents to travel from Arlington Heights to Libertyville 12 minutes faster? How about $2.95 rather than 95 cents to shave seven minutes off my commute? Or what about $1.20 for a savings of six minutes? My brain hurts after completing the Illinois tollway's online Route 53/120 project feasibility study.
Save time or money on extended Route 53?
You decide
Holiday cheer & feasibility surveys, no doubt, do not mix. Nonetheless, your LakeCountyEye -- who knows a thing or two about brain-freeze (especially in December) -- accepted the challenge, and went to the Illinois Tollway website:
Illinois Route 53/120 Project Feasibility Analysis Survey
Your LakeCountyEye can report that the Daily Herald was not exaggerating, this is one difficult survey, indeed:
The website looks to have been designed by the same team that did ObamaCare -- your LakeCountyEye was unable to get beyond the splash-page.

Truth be told, the Illinois Route 53/120 Project Feasibility Analysis Survey seems to be password protected. Surely somebody has the password.



Wednesday, November 27, 2013

The Bank Holiday

ceiling catThe Geneva Conventions may not apply to the War on Christmas, which has escalated precipitously in 2013. Thanksgiving was moved back to November 28 this year, giving holiday Christmas shoppers a meager 4 weeks to avert total retail Armageddon. To put an already dire economic situation in some perspective, Thanksgiving comes so late in 2013 that Black Friday will fall on a Saturday. Haha, j/k. But in point of fact, Black Friday will occur in January this year. Look it up.

Your LakeCountyEye has been told that defenders of the holiday Christmas spirit are not about to throw in the white flag, not just yet. Hundreds, if not thousands, of brave Lake County retail employees have pledged be in their shops & stores, all day, on Thanksgiving Day -- and manning their stations for the opportunity to serve, you, the holiday Christmas shopper.

Never was so much owed by so many to so few!

Well, your LakeCountyEye is not going to take this lying down -- even after a couple Hungry-Man frozen turkey dinners. Can you join your LakeCountyEye in observing the holiday Christmas holidays as they traditionally have been for thousands of years? All you need to do is go out on Thanksgiving Day and buy some stuff. Here are 10 suggestions to get everyone revved up and into a holiday shopping mood:

Only You Can Help Save Christmas
Ten Things to Buy on Thanksgiving Day in Lake County
  1. Route 53 Extension Toll House Cookies

  2. Homegrown Medical "Mistletoe"

  3. Plan your same-sex holiday wedding at this Lake County boutique shop ...
    Don We Now Our Gay Apparel

  4. Have your family portrait professionally taken by a Mundelein squad car.
    Perfect for holiday cards.

  5. Unincorporated Lake County Backyard Chicken Egg Nog

  6. Augment that festive holiday spray with festive South Lake Mosquito Abatement District spray.

  7. CN Stationary Model Train
    (no electricity required)

  8. Gurnee is your destination for that must-have outdoor decoration:
    Rudolph the Red Light Camera

  9. Radioactive Pet Rocks

  10. From the North Pole direct to the Election Polls:
    The Lake County Election Commission
    In original box!

Look for your LakeCountyEye, revved up maxxed out.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Scrape Along by the Skin of Your Teeth

The tax paladins at the McHenryCountyBlog, at a bare minimum, like to appear to be watching your money. To that end, they are at present in the process of posting the salaries of every Illinois state employee who lives in McHenry County:
Salaries of State Employees Living in McHenry County – 3
Your LakeCountyEye, no slouch either when it comes to other people's livelihoods, has periodically been posting the annual remuneration of Illinois's public sector pensioners. The complete list of names is extensive, and this blog is currently making its way through the S portion of the alphabet. Here are the SKINNERs ...

Better Government Association Pension Database
Of course, $79,000 is a lot of money -- unless you happen to be the Daily Herald ...
Roskam had taken six trips worth $79,000 since taking office in 2007, a relatively small number compared to U.S. Rep. Jan Schakowsky's 23 trips worth about $198,000 in the same time.
Roskam cleared in Taiwan trip investigation
Can anyone break a $79,000 bill?

Thursday, November 21, 2013


Operatives of a certain age may remember when the silent movies became a thing of the past -- and may even recall that first line of dialogue ever spoken in a talkie ...
I have one just word for you, Benjamin: Plastics
Well, that was back in the day. For those who desire to see some of those Benjamins today, your LakeCountyEye has just one word:
Search Engine Optimization
... Benjamin.

Haha, even a poorly read and moreso poorly written local-focus blog has the potential to be the next Cheezburger -- and the secret is Search Engine Optimization, SEO for short. The best part is, the miracle of Search Engine Optimization is so easy & fast that its magic will work for you, too.

Just consider one painfully underperforming blog about politics in Lake County. This blog adopted the tried and true SEO trick of salting its content with one of a few special field-tested keywords:
You may just see a bunch of inane repetitions of the word LINK. But this savvy blogger saw pure search-engine gravy:
This lucky hometown blogger now has an Alexa ranking that is the envy of the blogosphere:
Seen enough? Call your LakeCountyEye for a SEO rate card today. Don't delay, the clock is ticking.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

In the Wake of the News:
One PDF Scrubbed from the Lake County Website

At the center of story I posted here, In the Wake of the News, is a lawsuit filed by Kirk Denz against his homeowner's association. A link to a PDF copy of the lawsuit is available on the blog post.

If your read the lawsuit, you may have glanced at this clause on page 18.
The Sheriff's Office Press Release in question had been obtainable from the Lake County website. This is no longer so. It appears that the PDF document had been removed from the Lake County website and is no longer available. This, I've been told, occurred not long after Denz filed his lawsuit.

Google still has a record of the document.
But the link is now inactive.
The document had been available on the Lake County website for downloading since 2003.

Monday, November 18, 2013

The Monkeyshines in Mundelein

log cabin republican As heavyweight matchups go, this one may rival the Rumble in the Jungle and even the Thrilla in Manila. In one corner sits the defending champ and 6-time incumbent, Ed Sullivan Jr. And in the other corner is his challenger, past treasurer of the Lake County Republican Party, Bob Bednar. At stake is who will be the next undisputed State Representative of Lake County's 51st District.

Bob Bednar vows to uphold the 2012 Illinois Republican platform which calls for a constitutional amendment to preserve traditional marriage. Not surprisingly, right off the heels of Ed Sullivan's vote to legalize same-sex marriage in Illinois, some heavy hitters have entered the ring for Bednar. According to the Illinois Review ...
Fallout from passage of the gay marriage bill is being felt in Lake County where an email from Lake County GOP Vice Chair Jack Koenig states that he and Chairman Bob Cook are backing Bob Bednar in his attempt to unseat Republican State Rep. Ed Sullivan who voted for the bill (SB10) to redefine marriage in the state of Illinois.
Lake County GOP chair backs opponent of Republican State Rep. Ed Sullivan
Predictably, Keith Brin -- rumored next GOP Chair of Lake County -- is none too pleased. Brin thinks it is inappropriate for current GOP Chair Bob Cook to take sides in a Republican Primary, and said so in writing. According to the CapitolFaxBlog, Brin warns Cook that ...
if you will not disavow these series of events tagged with your name as Chairman, I would ask you to resign your official position until such time as a replacement may named.
Court clerk wants disavowall or resignation
Candidate: Lake County GOP chairman supports Sullivan ouster
The 51st District that Sullivan represents is paired with State Rep David McSweeney's 52nd District. The two districts -- 51 & 52 -- comprise Senate District 26, which is represented by Dan Duffy.

It is known that both Duffy and McSweeney voted against the marriage equality bill that Sullivan supported. It is not known whether Dan Duffy plans to support Ed Sullivan or Bob Bednar. Nor is it known whether David McSweeney will support Ed Sullivan or Bob Bednar.



Sunday, November 17, 2013

The $79,000 Question

bars & stripes foreverIt's official. Peter Roskam -- Lake County's nominal Congressman -- is off scot-free. As readers of this blog are remotely aware ...
A Chinese Junket
Roskam was under investigation by the US House Ethics Committee for a junket fact finding trip he took with his wife to Taiwan (where his daughter works). The allegation under scrutiny was whether or not Roskam's free vacation cultural exchange mission was paid for by the government of Taiwan. Long story short, since the Taiwanese government was not returning the Ethics Committee's phonecalls -- haha, case closed.

The Daily Herald crunched some of the numbers ...
Roskam had taken six trips worth $79,000 since taking office in 2007, a relatively small number compared to U.S. Rep. Jan Schakowsky's 23 trips worth about $198,000 in the same time.
Roskam cleared in Taiwan trip investigation
The moral here appears to be that while $79,000 seems like a lot of money, everything is relative when compared to something else. Of course, typical of the Herald, that something else -- here, Jan Schakowsky -- drops into the story from out of nowhere, seemingly apropos of nothing.

Your LakeCountyEye has been told, however, that the Herald's journalistic drive-by analogy was quite propos. The story, when originally submitted, contained numerous other comparisons to show that $79,000 is -- in the grand scheme of things -- a small number. It's just that 79,000 10 of them had to be cut out because of space constraints:
Ten Things Much More Expensive than
Peter Roskam's Six Congressional Trips
that Cost $79,000
  1. The Lake County Election Commission

  2. Average Lake County Video Poker Jackpot

  3. Obamacare Insurance Minimum Deductible

  4. The Island Lake Police Pension Fund IOU

  5. An Illinois Gay Marriage Lake View Honeymoon

  6. Antioch Rescue Squad Legal Defense Fund

  7. Gallon of Lake Michigan Tap Water

  8. South Lake Mosquito Abatement District Petty Cash Drawer

  9. Street Value of a Nickel Bag of Lake County Medicinal Marijuana (Estimated)

  10. The Route 53 Extension
Look for your LakeCountyEye hoping to break a $79,000 dollar bill.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Female Trouble?

Among old hands at the battle of the sexes, there is an often repeated saying: "Be nice to people on the way up because you will see them going down." Naturally, it was only a matter of time before Peter Roskam -- Lake County's ladies man in Congress -- would find himself, all of a sudden, with female trouble.

Roskam regularly scores big on election night, and he counts on the ladies of his congressional district for his muscular margins of victory. This comes in the face of the fact that he enjoys a leadership role in a political party with a reputation for being Mr In-Between: in between a woman and basic health care; in between her children and basic nutrition & educational services; in between her and what she can decide to do with her body.

It goes without saying that no ladies man can play the same trick over and over -- and expect to come out on top in the long run. So, in what may be a sign that a Roskam internal poll is intimating that his appeal with the ladies is petering out, he is sponsoring a forum this weekend. A forum devoted to you -- and only to you -- the ladies of his congressional district:
Your LakeCountyEye has been asked to extend an invitation to the ladies of Lake County -- please attend Peter Roskam's Women's Forum. Roskam is expected to be there, front and center, and will mansplain, in language that you can understand, his behavior when he away in Washington. And to promise never, ever, ever to do any of those things again. He really means it, this time.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Lake County's Sans a Commission

... but do they have an Ogle County?That giant sucking sound you hear is a collective sigh of relief coming from Lake County. The Lake County Election Commission has been ruled unconstitutional, sparing voters here the burden of having to participate in fair and transparent elections. Predictably, the Daily Herald is not not-amused about Judge David Akemann's decision:
The law sought to impose the election panel on "any county with a population of more than 700,000 persons ... that borders another state and borders no more than 2 other Illinois counties," a description that fits just one of Illinois' 102 counties — Lake. Akemann found that, in violation of constitutional prohibitions against legislation written for an isolated locality, there was nothing in that particular combination of factors — population and borders with other states or counties — to cry out for an election commission, and his conclusion seems indisputable.
Editorial: Election commission ruling not just an issue of semantics
When conclusions seem indisputable, your LakeCountyEye turns to the one expert capable of turning order into chaos, and in the wink of an eye -- Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Unconstitutional Law at the College of Lake County.

Your LakeCountyEye ran into Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi on the Motor-Voter line at the Secretary of State's office, where he was chuckling to himself: "Ya, the Lake County party bosses got some downstate Corn County judge to say the new Election Commission is unconstitutional. But a ruling like that opens up a giant can of worms."

Your LakeCountyEye was confused. A giant can of worms?

"Ya, even bigger than the jumbo size cans you see at Sam's Club." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "There are hundreds of laws on the books written specifically for an isolated locality in Illinois." He produced from his Backstreet Boys backpack an edition of the Illinois Compiled Statutes, and rattled off a few examples:
The county clerk in counties of 3,000,000 or more inhabitants ...
35 ILCS 200/9-45

In counties with 3,000,000 or more inhabitants, no person shall ...
35 ILCS 200/21-220

In counties of 2,000,000 or more inhabitants, the regional superintendent may ...
105 ILCS 5/3-11

... except in counties of 1,500,000 or more inhabitants where there shall be standing objections to all such petitions.
730 ILCS 5/3-3-4
"All of these laws are written for one unnamed County." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Are they unconstitutional? Should they thrown off the books?"

Your LakeCountyEye speculated that could be a good thing.

"A good thing?!" replied Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Which county do you think these laws are all talking about? More than 1,500,000 -- 2,000,000 -- 3,000,000 inhabitants?"

Your LakeCountyEye knew the answer to that one ... Cook County?

"No flies on you today." chortled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "If they scrapped all of these laws, the government of Cook County would instantly implode into a 300 foot burning pile of stolen tires. Would that be a good thing?"

Your LakeCountyEye wasn't sure.

"Then imagine," continued Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi "lawless & savage gangs of feral Cook County hooligans, in their gangsta SUVs, executing raids north of Lake-Cook Road, plundering all of our womenfolk and tax-free cigarettes. Not a pretty thought?"

Your LakeCountyEye could only think about ... feral Cook County hooligans?

"Oh, I think you know who I am talking about." deadpanned Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Have you ever seen Inverness? It's in Barrington Township."

Your LakeCountyEye decided the interview was over and asked if there was any parting advice.

"Absolutely." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Tell your operatives that if they wake up some morning and find that all of their tax-free cigarettes and womenfolk are gone, they will know who to blame!"

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Dumby and Dumber

It is unknown whether Lake County State Senator Dan Duffy ever uttered a sentence that did not contain a noun, a verb, and a flat tax. Haha, is there anyone in Lake County who does not believe in tax fairness? Poor people think a graduated income tax is fair -- one that makes rich people pay their fair share. While rich people favor a flat tax, where they are taxed at the same rate as poor people.

Duffy recently mailed a tax fairness survey to his constituents:
The survey begins with a personal greeting ...
Dear Friends,
In 400 BC the great philosopher, Plato, is credited with saying, "those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber."
So true, so true.

Duffy governs represents communities including South Barrington, Lake Barrington, North Barrington, Barrington Hills, Inverness, Tower Lakes.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Redistricting Local, State and National Voting Boundaries

The Stevenson Center will host a program on Redistricting Local, State and National Voting Boundaries:

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy
In collaboration with Change Illinois, the Center will host Nicholas Stephanopolous, Professor at the University of Chicago Law School, specialist in national and international redistricting models; Kathleen Jung Hee Fernicola, Director of Policy and Programs, Asian Americans Advancing Justice; Mike Lawrence, former Director of the Paul Simon Public Policy Institute and before that, press secretary and senior advisor to Governor Jim Edgar; with James Nowlan, former State Representative and Senior Fellow, Institute of Government and Politics at the University of Illinois, moderator, to discuss the pros, cons and difficulties in the redistricting process.
  • Sunday
    November 17, 2013
    2 PM
  • The Stevenson Center on Democracy
    25200 N St Mary's Rd
    Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
  • Cost $15
  • Coffee and conversation following

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Same Sex Marriage: The Blowback

Abraham Lincoln, who is known to have shared a bed with at least 11 boys and men during his youth and adulthood, would have been proud. Marriage equality is now the law of the land in the Land of Lincoln.

Haha. Predictably, the first fourth estate is not amused. The McHenryCountyBlog -- the Huffington Post of uneducated and rural Illinois -- points an accusatory finger at one legislator:
Franks Votes for Gay Marriage, Bill Passes
The Northwest Herald -- the New York Times of uneducated and rural Illinois -- could not resist the temptation to pile it on:

Illinois lawmakers vote to allow gay marriages
One Lake County State Rep -- Barbara Wheeler -- was having none of this legislative gaiety tomfoolery, and told the Northwest Herald ...
she could not support the bill because she believes marriage should be between a man and a woman. Wheeler did not participate in the debate on the House floor before voting against the bill. "I'm Catholic, and the message hasn't been more clear to me from my Catholic church, my bishop and my priest that this is something that is not going to be good for our communities," Wheeler said.
Illinois lawmakers vote to allow gay marriages
Note to operatives: when times are tough and money is tight and your employer is having trouble making payroll, remember one thing. You can make ends meet by doing freelance work for the Vatican.

By your LakeCountyEye's preliminary tally, every Republican legislator in Lake County voted against the marriage equality bill. Every Republican legislator, with the exception of one -- and his name escapes your LakeCountyEye at the moment.

Another suburban Republican legislator, opposed to the bill, was not about to mince with his words and worries the bill will lead to polygamy. According to the Daily Herald ...
Religion was at the center of the debate, and state Rep. Tom Morrison, a Palatine Republican, argued the approval of same-sex marriage could pave the way to polygamy. "A 'no' vote today simply preserves the current social order, which has served us well for thousands of years," he said.
How Illinois' vote for same-sex marriage unfolded
Your LakeCountyEye couldn't agree with Representative Morrison more. Those marriage customs that were good enough back in Biblical times are still good enough for today:
Many of the Old Testament Prophets and Patriarchs had multiple wives, including Lamech, Abraham, Jacob, Esau, Gideon, Saul, David, Solomon, Rehoboam, Elkanah, Ashur, Abijah and Jehoiada. Some interpretations also suggest Moses had a second wife in Tharbis. Other polygamists identified in the Bible include Ahab, Ahasuerus, Ashur, Belshazzar, Benhadad, Caleb, Eliphaz, Ezra, Jehoiachin, Jehoram, Jerahmeel, Joash, Machir, Manasseh, Mered, Nahor, Simeon, and Zedekiah.
Old Testament polygamy
Note to ops: No one ever went broke by making a living at representing (or catering to) uneducated and rural Illinois.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Voting Equality

Teresa of ÁvilaEvery man, woman, and child in Lake County waits frantically on tenterhooks. Not until Friday will they learn if, henceforward, their vote is to be tallied by an independent election commission. According to the Daily Herald ...
A judge will take two weeks to decide whether the controversial state law ordering the creation of a Lake County election commission is legal. Kane County Judge David Akemann — on the bench because Lake County Chief Judge Fred Foreman is a defendant — announced his plans Friday at the end of a nearly hourlong hearing in Waukegan. His ruling is expected Nov. 8. Adopted this summer as part of a broad election-related package, the legislation strips oversight of Lake County's elections from the county clerk and gives it to a new, five-member commission.
Judge to decide in 2 weeks if law ordering new Lake County election panel is legal
While the ruling may deprive the Clerk's Office of control over county elections, privately Lake County Clerk officials are not worried. Your LakeCountyEye has been told that for any election business the County Clerk's office may lose, the office expects to easily recoup back from issuing same-sex marriage licenses.

Haha. In related news, although technically not legal until June 30 of next year, same-sex marriage became legal in Illinois yesterday. A LakeCountyEye attaboy to everyone.

OK, who knows how to chicken dance?

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Beau Jest

Having sprung forward in March, it's that time of the year, in Lake County, to fall back. Likewise in blogging, when pageview numbers are down, it is not unwise to have something tried-and-true to fall back on. This may explain why the supercentenarians at the MchenryCountyBlog have posted a titillating story about some hankypanky goings-on over at the Will County board:
A former female County Board member is trying to obtain compromising photos of herself taken by a former flame. She thinks he may have sent the photos to another bow.
If You Have an Affair on the County Board, Don’t Let Him Take Intimate Pictures
It is unknown who or, more precisely, what kind of object the unspecified bow is ...
Bow \Bow\ (bou), n.
1: a knot with two loops and loose ends; used to tie shoelaces
2: a slightly curved piece of resilient wood with taut horsehair strands, used in playing certain stringed instrument
3: front part of a vessel or aircraft
4: curved piece of resilient wood with taut cord to propel arrows
5: something curved in shape
6: bending the head or body or knee as a sign of reverence or submission or shame
7: an appearance by actors or performers at the end of the concert or play in order to acknowledge the applause of the audience
8: a decorative interlacing of ribbons
Late onset dementia is a terrible crippling malady, even for an Internet blogger. Happily, your LakeCountyEye has been assured that this Bow in question is a heartbreaker, from back-in-the-day:

Clara Bow

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

The Night of the Illiana

Halloween is when the undead are released from their crypts to toll the living of Lake County. If you find yourself on the highway, take care to watch out for the undead in all of their forms: the vampires, the ghosts, the zombies, the Route 53 Extension.

Haha, with no further ado, the Illiana Expressway got a big boost last week from Lake County Chairman Aaron Lawlor.  According to the Daily Herald ...
Amid a split among suburban leaders, the controversial Illiana Expressway received a shot in the arm Thursday when a planning board endorsed the road, marking a significant political victory for Gov. Pat Quinn.
Planning board approves Illiana Expressway construction
Lawlor sits on that planning board that voted to give a green light to the Illiana Expressway. Up until then, Lawlor had been undecided. The Daily Herald reported only a week earlier that ...
Aaron Lawlor previously said he needed time to study the different analyses.
Illiana Expressway fails to get support from planning group
What was the reason for the sudden change of heart? A proposed map of the Illiana Expressway has been leaked to your LakeCountyEye:

Illiana Expressway plan
As operatives can plainly see, the proposed Illiana Expressway will end precisely where the Route 53 Extension is proposed to begin. In Lake County, between Crown Point and Lowell.


Saturday, October 26, 2013

In the Wake of the News:
Private Covenants

A story I posted here, In the Wake of the News, needs a correction. I said that the Village of Round Lake passed a zoning ordinance restricting the use of watercraft on Wooster Lake. And that Kirk Denz then reciprocated by getting a state law passed to overturn these zoning ordinances. That is not quite correct. Denz obtained a clarification of the law from Springfield, which had the effect of overturning the zoning ordinances.

This is important because the story revolves around a Declaration of Conditions, Covenants and Restrictions (DCCR) -- or more simply put, a homeowners covenant -- between residents of Wooster Lake. The basic issue, as I see it, is over how and by whom are these covenants enforced.

Denz has subsequently filed a lawsuit against the homeowners association, Wooster Lake Conservation & Control Association (WLCCA). One statement alleged in the suit leapt out when I read it. One year prior to the Round Lake zoning ordinance, Deputies on August 6, 2004
"... arrived at the Petitioner's home in a Lake County Sheriff's squad car while fully uniformed, waved a provided copy of the WLCCA DCCR's in the faces of Petitioner Kirk Denz and his guest Jim Murray, repeatedly threatening ticket and arrest ..."

My immediate question was: On whose authority were Lake County Sheriff Deputies sent to enforce a homeowners covenant? These covenants are basically legal agreements between homeowners and have no statutory force.

Not too long ago, the political career of a Lake County State Senator was cut short when it was revealed that she requested inappropriate favors of the Lake County Sheriff's Department. Is there a mindset among some elected Lake County officials that the Sheriff's Department is their private police force?

To my knowledge, this incident with Kirk Denz was never investigated by the State's Attorney or the press.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Luck o'the Irish

Make mine a double. If you were Ed Sullivan Jr you'd be feeling like you were in clover about now. Yes, the Republican State Representative is likely to be challenged by a member of his own party in the upcoming Primary Election. And yes, this blog has been trumpeting a totally made-up highly believable rumor ...
Sullivan's Traversal?
that Sullivan may switch sides and run instead as a Democrat.

Well, Jim Durkin, the leader of the Illinois House Republican Caucus, must keep abreast of the local developments here by monitoring this blog. That's because soon after the aforementioned rumor appeared on this blog, Durkin told the Daily Herald that ...
he'll back incumbent lawmakers that have primary election challenges next year even if their views are at odds with his own. Among suburban Republicans so far, state Rep. Ed Sullivan of Mundelein is facing a potential opponent in the primary over his backing of same-sex marriage.
New Republican leader "absolutely" supports incumbents in primaries
Sullivan is sitting in clover because, by all appearances, he is presently at the center of a bidding war. At the risk of angering the right-wing of his Party, Leader Durkin is signaling that he is ready to parachute into District 51 with a sackfull of the greenstuff -- on Sullivan's sayso.

Your move, Leader Madigan.

Note to ops: Bidding wars do not just happen by luck or magic. A lot of scutwork and skulduggery has to be executed before the magic happens. If you are an ambitious elected official who worries that their stock is being sold short, then your LakeCountyEye is here to help. These days, a politician without professional representation is like a State's Attorney without a conviction. Lacking the services of a professional agent, you -- Mr Career Politician -- are going to be remembered as being Mr-Pants-On-Fire. Because your political career will have been spent warming a seat.

Call your LakeCountyEye today for a ratecard. And a list of satisfied clients.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

In the Wake of the News

The government may have been shut down for 16 days, but there is an ongoing conflict closer to home in Ingleside that has been going strong for more than a decade. The conflict is over the sort of watercraft that are acceptable on Wooster Lake, and is an example of what happens when environmental concerns go against individual property rights. It is also an example of how political clout is wielded in Lake County.

The story appeared in the newspapers as recently as 2011 when the Daily Herald reported that ...
Round Lake village board members have repealed a nearly 6-year-old ordinance that limited boat speed on a private lake. Under a staff recommendation agreed to by the village board, property owners along Wooster Lake are now responsible for settling their differences and deciding whether to have no-wake restrictions for the roughly 100-acre body of water.
One side had obtained a municipal zoning ordinance to get their way.  The other side reciprocated by getting a state law changed to overturn the zoning ordinance. The News-Sun reported that ...
Wooster Lake is back to being wide open for boats to travel at any speed after a Round Lake ordinance was rescinded last month. The controversy on the lake goes back many years and resulted in state legislation to allow boat owners to accelerate their boats beyond the no-wake limit that some area residents wanted to impose on the 100-acre lake off Route 134.
In what may be the latest skirmish in the battle, a small claims suit has been filed in Lake County Court.

The complainants charge that restrictive covenants from a Wooster Lake homeowner association filed with the Lake County Recorder of Deeds have slandered the reputation of their neighborhood, and have negatively impacted their property values. The claim is for a judgment of $5000.

To my knowledge, this development has not been covered by any of the newspapers. I will watch the case and post updates.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Improving Learning in Public Schools

The Stevenson Center will host a program on Improving Learning in Public Schools:

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy
Three giants of school reform, Martin "Mike" Koldyke, founder of AUSL, Academy of Urban School Leadership, and John Simmons, founder of SLI, Strategic Learning Initiatives, discuss working models for improving learning in public education, two vibrant non-profit organizations with moderator, Eleanor Nicholson, co-founder of High Jump, Senior Instructor at Erikson Institute, and twenty-five years in school administration, including two years as Interim Principal of Erie Elementary Charter School.
  • Sunday
    October 27, 2013
    2 PM
  • The Stevenson Center on Democracy
    25200 N St Mary's Rd
    Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
  • Cost $15
  • Coffee and conversation following