Sunday, June 4, 2023

Do Bears Split-T in the Woods?

well, da
Chicago says goodbye to Taylor Swift. Which goes to prove there is someone who has played at Soldier Field that the Bears can beat.

It is widely believed that the Chicago Bears will move to the Arlington Race Track. Horse racing rules are different from football. For one thing, you can make money if you bet on the second-place contestant (and even the third-place contestant). This could work to the Bears advantage.

Now, in pro sports no deal is ever really sealed, not until the players are on the field:
Chicago Bears officials met with Naperville Mayor Scott Wehrli on Friday to discuss the possibility of abandoning their plans for a new stadium development in Arlington Heights in favor of building it in the large western suburb. In a move that could be used as bargaining leverage, the team said in a statement Friday that plans to build "the largest single development project in Illinois history" are "at risk" in Arlington Heights.
Chicago Bears listen to proposal from Naperville for stadium site. Arlington Heights 'no longer our singular focus,' team says.
If the Bears decide to not play in Arlington Heights, where will they play?

Sports insiders are saying the Bears will buy the Waukegan Airport.  That way they can build a new stadium on any one of the Lake County Forest Preserves that the Airport owns.

Tuesday, May 30, 2023

I'll Bet

Finally, it's summertime. In Lake County, summer is the season when the sun sets at midnight -- and naturally everyone wants to know where the 24 hour gambling is.

Is there 24-hour gambling in Waukegan? Nope, only on the weekends:
Currently open for consecutive 20-hour shifts from 8 a.m. to 4 a.m. the next day, starting May 12, the casino will open at 8 a.m. on Fridays and not close until 4 a.m. the following Monday.
Waukegan casino expects to add sportsbook by August; expanded weekend hours and more table games also planned
For true 24/7 gambling in Lake County, go to Lincolnshire instead!

The Greater Lincolnshire Chamber of Commerce wants you to play online casino gambling. Where you can gamble anywhere, anytime 24/7/365.

At least that's what the Lake County Gazette says:
Note to Ops: Are you the executive director of a Lake County chamber of commerce or other civic organization? Then direct your organization to endorse online casino gambling. The Greater Lincolnshire Chamber of Commerce did just that and got free media from the Lake County Gazette. It's not for nothing that the Lake County Gazette is Lake County's #1 fakenews source.

Thursday, May 25, 2023


Question of the day: How many Lake County Forest preserve trees will be chopped down to make room for the new Waukegan Airport runway?

Answer: Enough to print the 1250 page environmental impact report.

HaHa, they dropped the Waukegan National Airport Runway Replacement Preliminary Draft Environmental Assessment report, and the NewsSun has it:
News-Sun obtains preliminary environmental impact report for Waukegan airport runway extension ahead of potential summer hearing
Fun fact: If laid end to end, the 1250 page report would be long enough to land an airplane at the Waukegan Airport. But if you want to fly in on the company Gulfstream, you'll need a bigger runway -- built on land which can be seized from the neighboring Forest Preserve.

The report is going to the Lake County Board, who will decide whether to cede Forest Preserve land to the Waukegan Airport.

One long-range government planner is not too worried and told your LakeCountyEye: "By the time anyone finishes reading that report, global warming will have killed off all of the Forest Preserves anyways."

Saturday, May 20, 2023


artist's rendition
It is not known which McHenry County man. in particular, shot in the foot the McHenry County man who shot himself in the foot, this time. What is known is that the McHenry County man who shot himself in the foot was shot in both feet:
Police say the victim was found with gunshot wounds to both legs and was transported to Northwestern Medicine McHenry Hospital with non-life-threatening injuries.
Man shot in both legs at McHenry apartment complex: police
One local arms merchant told your LakeCountyEye: "When it comes to legs, McHenry County gun owners generally have only two. So that may be the record."

Monday, May 15, 2023

The Color of Money

Pop quiz!

Today's question will be an opportunity to test your financial acumen:
Q: Where's the money?
The surprising answer comes from the pages of the Lake County Gazette:
A: Black Lives Matter
The Lake County Gazette says nearly 94 million dollars was donated to Black Lives Matter by just 3 Lake County companies:
AbbVie Inc
Abbott Laboratories
Baxter International Inc
Should this be regarded simply as more malarkey from the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source? A lobbyist for the pharmaceutical industry told your LakeCountyEye: "I believe it. Ninety four million is walking-around money."

Wednesday, May 10, 2023

Willard and Cooch

Like a mail-in ballot that was stamped Return to Sender, Willard Helander is back.

Lake County favorite son Willard Helander will be giving a speech on election suppression protection at some fundraiser in Orland Park:
Helander to speak at Midwest Election Integrity Summit
The keynote speaker is Ken Cuccinelli, who was a Homeland Security Czar under President Trump. Cuccinelli -- aka The Cooch -- is best known for proposing new verbiage for the "give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free" plaque on the Statue of Liberty:
Note to Cosplayers: Do not expect Willard Helander to appear dressed as Lady Liberty.

Saturday, May 6, 2023

No Scratch Fever

Ted Nugent got cancelled yet again.  This time he got cancelled in Birmingham Alabama:
Ted Nugent's concert in Birmingham has been canceled amid a wave of controversy on social media. Nugent, 74, a hard rock veteran and political provocateur, was set to play on July 18 at Avondale Brewing Co. His appearance here, which was announced on Monday by promoter Red Mountain Entertainment, inspired intense reactions this week among concertgoers, who expressed anger and disappointment on the venue's Facebook and Instagram pages.
Ted Nugent concert in Alabama canceled amid social media backlash
If red state Alabama doesn't want Ted Nugent, where in the world could he go?

Well, Lake County favorite son Ted Nugent is welcome to come back to Waukegan. Where he could get a gig at the Waukegan casino:
there are openings for food and beverage personnel, as well as dealers. Dealers either need experience or will have to go to dealer school to learn to run the different games. Classes generally last six weeks.
Waukegan casino expects to add sportsbook by August; expanded weekend hours and more table games also planned
It is not known if Ted Nugent has any experience as a dealer. But he could apply for a position as a security guard:
A fun fact, Ted Nugent's nickname is the Motor City Madman. Nugent would be advised not to share this information on his job application.

Tuesday, May 2, 2023

Charity Begins at Someone Else's Home

give til it hurts
Operatives who are fundraising in Lake County are advised to wear a face mask. That's because when Richard Uihlein eschews, the Lake County GOP catches a cold. And Lake County moneybags Richard Uihlein has been eschewing:
The suburbs' most prodigious political donor and his wife made about $6.9 million in campaign contributions in the year's first quarter -- but only one went to a candidate in Illinois. The vast majority of donations from Lake Forest's Richard and Elizabeth Uihlein went to Republican congressional campaigns in 21 other states and to national groups, records show.
Lake Forest megadonors eschewed suburban candidates in the first quarter, records show
Lake Forest's Uihleins give to just one Illinoisan
No doubt about it, contribution dollars are draining out of Lake County and are going to out-of-state candidates. And yet, local Republican leaders are unfazed. One Lake County GOP spokesman said this: "We've been telling our candidates, all along, to move to a red state. They're not going to win in Lake County."

Friday, April 28, 2023

All the News That's Counterfeit to Print

Like a mafia crime family, the Lake County Gazette is going legit.

In a startling turn of events, the Lake County Gazette no longer obtains its news content from Russian Troll Farms. Instead, what used to be Lake County's #1 fakenews source is now obtaining its news content directly from Republican Party operatives:
A publisher of far-right websites and mailings designed to look like newspapers created a special online portal for top Illinois GOP candidates and activists to directly seek favorable coverage during last year's elections, according to a newspaper report that prompted state Democrats to denounce the actions as "deceitful" to voters. The Washington Post reported Thursday that Brian Timpone, an ally and business partner of right-wing radio talk show host Dan Proft, used a password-protected portal that allowed Republicans to pitch stories, provide questions for interviews, place campaign announcements and run "verbatim" op-eds on websites and mailings that are published by the Local Government Information Services organization.
Illinois Democrats denounce as 'deceitful' a pipeline used in last year’s elections to right-wing local news sites
Evidence of the editorial overhaul is clear.

Here is a story posted by one Lake County GOP operative, State Representative Martin McLaughlin:
And a story posted by another Lake County GOP operative, State Senator Daniel McConchie:
One Lake County GOP spokesman told your LakeCountyEye: "If you can't believe a Republican operative, who can you believe?"

Monday, April 24, 2023

Scatter Train

Bomb train happens.
Question of the Day:

The Lake County exploding bomb train failed to explode once again. Where did it happen this time?

If you answered Blue Island, give yourself a non-exploding cigar:
A CSX freight train derailed in Blue Island shortly before 9:30 p.m. Wednesday.
CSX freight train derails in Blue Island Wednesday night
One amateur pyrotechnical expert told your LakeCountyEye: "Well, that blows."

Wednesday, April 19, 2023

Election Dissection

They're not making them any more.
Can you spot the error below?

The 2023 election results were certified in Lake County. And right-wing extremist candidates swept all of the library and school board races. Soon, the books in the schools will be burned. And in the libraries, sex education will be replaced with Bible study.

HaHa, j/k:
Amid all the attention on this month's elections in Wisconsin and Illinois, one outcome with major implications for 2024 flew under the national radar: School board candidates who ran culture-war campaigns flamed out.
Why GOP culture warriors lost big in school board races this month
Note to Ops: Enjoy it while it lasts. The next local election is 2025.

Friday, April 14, 2023

Wrong Number

Question of the Day:
How many people moved to Lake County in 2019?
Answer: That would depend on who you believe.

If you believe the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source, the answer is 16,316:
Some of you may be skeptical. Then you should believe Lake County's #1 fakenews source, the Lake County Gazette -- where the answer is 6,320:
OK, who is correct, the Lake County Gazette or the Lake County Gazette?

One thing is unequivocal, both "newspapers" are published by Dan Proft. This is the same Dan Proft who recently fessed up to cooking the books:
After the state Democratic Party filed a complaint against him for failing to disclose more than $1 million in receipts to the political action committee he runs, right-wing radio talk show host and GOP political operative Dan Proft is blaming the discrepancy on a near $3 million typo.
Dan Proft corrects a nearly $3 million typo on campaign finance report following complaint by Democrats
Note to Ops: Get your Lotto numbers somewhere else.

Monday, April 10, 2023

The Bully Culprit

cock and bull story
He was the top of the ticket candidate for his political party. He was, however, subsequently hauled into court, whereupon he threatened the judge. And now ...
Breaking News!
He is is going to jail.

Your LakeCountyEye of course is referring to Lake County favorite son and honorary Republican, Kash Jackson:
A man who ran for governor in 2018 was sentenced to four years in prison for threatening two Lake County judges. Grayson K. Jackson, also known as Kash Jackson and Benjamin Winderweedle, 44, threatened to kill the two judges who presided over an ongoing civil case Jackson was party to during a call in October 2021 to the Lake County sheriff's court security office.
Former governor candidate gets 4 years in prison for threatening Lake County judges
One random Lake County GOP spokesman was overheard to say: "The New York judge who is trying Donald Trump has received dozens of threats. And Trump is walking free right now. They're a bunch of snowflakes out here in Lake County."

Friday, April 7, 2023

Election 2023 Post Mortem

School Snitch
Even with no Republicans on the ballot, every Lake County Republican candidate failed to win their School or Library Board race in Tuesday's election:
Typically low-turnout, nonpartisan school board elections took on a different tenor this spring, particularly in parts of northern and southwestern Lake County. From Antioch District 34, where 13 candidates duked it out for six open seats, to Barrington — where a New York-based political action committee spent more than $13,000 backing seven candidates for the school, library and village board — voters mostly supported incumbents and their slates.
Apparent winners emerge as dust settles in unusually intense Lake County school board races; 'Our community has some healing to do'
One exception was Millburn District 24 school board member Peter Pettorini. Despite being under criminal investigation, Pettorini (who is President of the Lake Villa Township Republican Club) was not shown the door by the voters.

An expert in political science offered this explanation: "You need to put an asterisk by Pettorini's name. He did not lose this time because he was not running for re-election. His term expires in 2025. We'll see if Pettorini can pull off that trick in two years."

Sunday, April 2, 2023

The Law and Order Party

oh my
Question of the day:
Q: The Democrats are soft on crime!

A: Let's see you do any better if you were up against an unprecedented Republican crime wave.
HaHa, Donald J Trump has been indicted for cooking his books. And now a conservative New York PAC has been caught red handed as well:
A New York-based political action committee belatedly reported that it so far has spent more than $13,000 backing conservative candidates in next week's local school board elections in Illinois. Its reports were submitted beginning late Tuesday after the Tribune wrote that the group had not disclosed what it spent on mailers that began arriving in Chicago-area mailboxes last week within the time frame required under state law.
Out-of-state PAC backing conservative school board candidates belatedly files spending report
The PAC is funded by Lake County moneybags Richard Uihlein. Closer to home, an Illinois PAC funded by Uihlein also got itself into legal hot water:
the Illinois Democratic Party filed a legal complaint against the Darren Bailey campaign for governor. The complaint says that the campaign illegally coordinated with an independent political action committee (known as a super PAC). The super PAC, called the "People Who Play By The Rules PAC", is led by Republican political operative, talk show host, and one-time failed gubernatorial candidate, Dan Proft. The People Who Play By The Rules PAC is funded almost entirely by billionaire businessman and Republican mega-donor, Richard Uihlein.
Illinois Democrats File Legal Complaint Against the Darren Bailey Campaign
Finally, there is Millburn District 24 school board member Peter Pettorini. Can he get some of that Uihlein money? Pettorini is President of the Lake Villa Township Republican Club. And he is under criminal investigation:
Round Lake High teacher, Millburn school board member under criminal investigation
Pettorini may qualify.

Tuesday, March 28, 2023

Perp School?

The Lake County GOP is sweating bullets. Why? Because there is a preeminent Republican, a former candidate and office holder, who is under criminal investigation. And who could be indicted.

Your LakeCountyEye, of course, refers to Peter Pettorini:
A Round Lake High School English teacher is on leave and the subject of a criminal investigation stemming from an allegation made against him in early January, but school and police officials are not disclosing the nature of the accusation.
Round Lake High teacher, Millburn school board member under criminal investigation
Pettorini is an elected member and vice president of the Millburn District 24 school board:
Of course the voters decide who will sit on the school boards. As they will do again on April 4, election night.

But will the voters get to vote for or against Peter Pettorini? No. Pettorini's term does not expire until 2025.

Stay tuned. By 2025 Pettorini may have the endorsement of another high-profile Republican under criminal investigation, Donald J Trump. In this highly charged political environment any arresting development is possible.

Friday, March 24, 2023

It'll All Come Out in the White-Wash

Can someone send Dan Proft a jar of body wash?  His conservative PAC, People Who Play By The Rules, is underwater by $1.2 million.  At least according to a complaint filed last week with the Illinois State Board of Elections.

But now Proft says the error was a typo:
After the state Democratic Party filed a complaint against him for failing to disclose more than $1 million in receipts to the political action committee he runs, right-wing radio talk show host and GOP political operative Dan Proft is blaming the discrepancy on a near $3 million typo.
Dan Proft corrects a nearly $3 million typo on campaign finance report following complaint by Democrats
No doubt, the money originally belonged to Lake County moneybags Richard Uihlein:
Proft's independent expenditure PAC was almost entirely funded by conservative billionaire megadonor Richard Uihlein, the founder of the Uline office supply and packaging firm.
Dan Proft corrects a nearly $3 million typo on campaign finance report following complaint by Democrats
It was possibly an in-kind donation from Uihlein:

Tuesday, March 21, 2023

Hush Hush Money

So who needs Yelp? The Illinois Democratic Party is reviewing restaurants, too. For instance, they don't like the way Dan Proft cooks his books:
For the second time in four months, the Illinois Democratic Party has filed a complaint with the State Board of Elections against right-wing radio talk show host and GOP political operative Dan Proft, this time alleging he failed to disclose $1.2 million in contributions to the conservative political action committee he runs.
Democrats file another election complaint against Dan Proft's political operation, alleging $1.2 million in undisclosed contributions
HaHa, if Dan Proft is Big Chef then that makes Richard Uihlein Elsie the Cash Cow. Lake County Moneybags Richard Uihlein has been providing the cheddar:
Proft's independent expenditure PAC, People Who Play By The Rules, was almost entirely funded by ultraconservative billionaire megadonor Richard Uihlein.
Democrats file another election complaint against Dan Proft's political operation, alleging $1.2 million in undisclosed contributions
$1.2 million is a lot of money, even if your name is Uihlein. Where did it all disappear to?

Sunday, March 19, 2023

Take One for the Fuel

it's greek to me
Question of the day: Can government be run like a business?

Those who live in Mundelein may be finding out. The Village of Mundelein just purchased a filling station:
Anticipating a possible future land deal, Mundelein is buying the site of a former gas station in the downtown area.
Mundelein buying former Citgo station on Hawley Street
According to rumors, the deal was struck because a delegation from the Waukegan Airport was seen to be appraising the property.

A source told your LakeCountyEye: "You know, those light aircraft don't have any indoor plumbing. The Waukegan Airport needs a 7000ft runway nearby some restrooms."

Wednesday, March 15, 2023

You Say Greenway I Say Runway

green as grass
There is an old saying in Lake County ...
Nobody Expects the Route 53 Extension
The Lake County Board endorsed a proposal to transform the Route 53 Extension -- 1,100 acres of land — into a greenway:
Supporters want the land to be transferred from the Illinois Department of Transportation to the Illinois Department of Natural Resources so it can be protected in perpetuity as a state park, trail or other open space.
Lake County Board might endorse using Route 53 right of way as greenway
One Waukegan Airport head honcho spoke to your LakeCountyEye: "And they say the Route 53 Extension will be a State Park -- not an airport runway? Tell me more."

Saturday, March 11, 2023

Doing Land Office Business

release the hounds
Not to be outdone by the Lake County Forest Preserves, the South Barrington Park District is getting into the land speculation business:
South Barrington Park District officials again are asking voters to approve selling 34 acres off Bartlett Road and Route 59. It's the fourth time the district has brought the proposal to voters.
South Barrington Park District again seeking voter permission to sell land
If everything goes as planned, the South Barrington Park District could turn a tidy profit. They hope for ...
a sale price of about $2 million.
South Barrington Park District again seeking voter permission to sell land
A spokesman for the Waukegan Airport said: "Our maps indicate that the South Barrington Park District is 7000ft from the Waukegan Airport. We will be filing legal papers to annex that property."

Wednesday, March 8, 2023

Highway to the Heavens


Not satisfied with merely commandeering 52 acres of Lake County Forest Preserve land ...

Questions Loom as Lake County Considers Forest Preserve Land Sale to Waukegan Airport
the Waukegan Airport now wants to annex the Amstutz Expressway.

One aviation top-gun told your LakeCountyEye: "The Waukegan Airport will need a 7000ft runway to land any of those C-130 cargo planes. And the Amstutz brings all that and more.  Besides there's never anyone on that road -- why not put it to some use?"

Sunday, March 5, 2023

Misplaced Trustee

Good news, your pop quiz is a TRUE/FALSE question:
Q: As a member of the Board of Trustees, Margot Dallstream advocates to make Barrington a great place for the residents, business owners, and the visitors alike.

This campaign mailer says Margot Dallstream is a Village of Barrington Trustee:
But the last time your LakeCountyEye checked, there was no one on the Barrington Village Board named Margot Dallstream:
Barrington Village Board
Given a choice, would someone think this mailer is a deliberate misrepresentation or an honest mistake?

You decide:
Note to Ops: Padding the resume is how George Santos got elected.

Thursday, March 2, 2023

Buffalo Stakes

It may be that no prophet is accepted in his hometown. But when that hometown is Lake County, then no profit is given by Richard Uihlein. Lake County moneybags Richard Uihlein, and Mrs moneybags Elizabeth Uihlein, are notorious for spreading their millions among conservative candidates and causes. But if you are in Lake County, don't expect to see much of that wealth. Knowledgeable sources are saying ...
the Uihleins will focus on national politics "and to be only nominally engaged in Illinois" for at least the next two cycles.
Where suburban GOP megadonors Richard and Elizabeth Uihlein's $36 million went last fall
Despite that, the Uihleins are known to be generous when it comes to celebrities. They ...
contributed to the losing U.S. Senate campaigns of Herschel Walker in Georgia and Dr. Mehmet Oz in Pennsylvania
Where suburban GOP megadonors Richard and Elizabeth Uihlein's $36 million went last fall
This fact was not lost on the Lake County Republican Party, who recruited a local homegrown celebrity for the 2023 election:
Now, out of the numerous qualified and informed candidates for school board, the Lake County Republicans chose to back a quadrupedal ungulate. When asked if it was appropriate to get behind a bison for school board, a Lake County GOP spokesman said: "Absolutely. Let the chips fall where they may."

Sunday, February 26, 2023

This Land is My Land

fly the friendly skies
A moment of silence, please -- devote some time to remember that terrible day when a mechanized and belligerent constituency claimed ownership over its peaceful and agrarian neighbor to the west. And then initiated hostilities to do so.

Of course, your LakeCountyEye refers to the Waukegan Airport. And its campaign to annex the Waukegan Savannah Forest Preserve.

Plans are in the works to cede 53 acres of the Waukegan Savanna over to the Waukegan Airport:
Waukegan airport runway proposal clears hurdle despite opposition
The open-space will be converted to a 7000ft runway. What up with that?

One economic analyst told your LakeCountyEye: "No Russian oligarch is going to dock his billion dollar super-yacht in Waukegan Harbor -- not unless there is a airport nearby.  One with a 7000ft runway where he can beat it out of the country on short notice."

Wednesday, February 22, 2023

Rushing Roulette in Waukegan

To honor the Trump Taj Mahal, the new Waukegan Casino opened in time for Presidents Day:
A long-awaited casino expected to provide an economic boost to Waukegan and the area opened this past weekend to VIP fanfare and a big crowd. Thousands attended the grand opening Friday of The Temporary by American Place
Long-sought casino in Waukegan opens to VIP fanfare and thousands of visitors
The casino is being called The Temporary -- what up with that?

A pit boss told your LakeCountyEye: "We tried to call it The Permanent -- but people started asking for an appointment with a hairdresser. Then our application for a Illinois cosmetology license was denied. They said giving haircuts in a casino is way too obvious."

And speaking of temporary casinos, the Trump Taj Mahal filed for bankruptcy in 2014. Donald Trump's hairpiece was unavailable for comment.

Sunday, February 19, 2023

They Paved Paradise

Grab land, they're not making it anymore.
Now that Tyson the Bison has been released from captivity ...
The Continuing Story of Buffalo Billy
the Waukegan Savanna is being opened up for Tyson to roam free.

HaHa, j/k. The Waukegan Savanna is actually being sold to the Waukegan Airport to build a 7000ft runway.

HaHa, j/k again. The Waukegan Savanna is not being sold to the Waukegan Airport. No, the Waukegan Savanna -- a publicly owned Lake County Forest Preserve -- is being given away to the Waukegan Airport:
plans are afoot to make 52 acres of the 774-acre Waukegan Savanna available to allow for a longer runway at the Waukegan National Airport at the northwest edge of that city. Trees would be cut down for a safety zone.
Longer Waukegan Airport runway is not a good reason to take forest preserve land
What up with that?
Critics question the need for a longer runway at Waukegan's airport, saying the money could be better used to improve local schools and roads and to clean up Superfund sites. "The whole thing is bizarre," former Waukegan Mayor Bill Morris told us. "This is all about corporate interests wanting to fly nonstop to Asia."
Longer Waukegan Airport runway is not a good reason to take forest preserve land
A spokesman for Waukegan City Hall said: "How are the Russian oligarchs supposed to get to the new Waukegan Temporary casino, if there isn't a 7000ft runway waiting for them?"

The Forest Preserve Board is scheduled to vote on a Memorandum of Agreement. The meeting will be held at 1pm Tuesday February 21, at the LCFP offices at 1899 W Winchester Rd in Libertyville.

Friday, February 17, 2023

The Continuing Story of Buffalo Billy

tastes like chicken
It was Valentines Day earlier this week, so naturally the wild ungulates are back in the news.

Whereabouts has been Tyson the Bison, Lake County's runaway buffalo? The same place where all runaway buffalos end up, in court:
What may be the last word on an escaped bison that roamed Lake County for months before being captured last May played out in court Friday.
Citations over Tyson the bison's escape dismissed
Escaping from his owners, Tyson the Bison ranged the Lake County forest preserves for the better part of last year. The animal was eventually captured, at the cost of thousands of dollars. So of course, charges were filed.

Well, all charges were dismissed this week:
Judge Raymond D. Collins found the prosecutors did not make the case
Citations over Tyson the bison's escape dismissed
The Lake County GOP issued a strongly worded statement: "This is just the sort of thing we've come to expect now that Illinois has eliminated cash bail. Tyson the Bison has been allowed to walk, scot-free like nothing ever happened. We will be locking up our homes and keeping our wives and daughters inside. You never know if Mr Bison is in your neighborhood."

Sunday, February 12, 2023

Cupid Is as Cupid Does

Feb 14 is this week. Which means it is high time to order that personalized card, pencil in some Xs and Os, and see it delivered to that one person who counts.

Your LakeCountyEye of course refers to your 2023 Election mail-in ballot.

HaHa. Lake County moneybags and the Mrs moneybags, Dick and Liz Uihlein, are one prominent Lake County couple. The Uihleins have a track record of giving large sums to right-wing causes. But like the battling Bickersons, the 2 Uihleins are not always on the same page:
The split between the Uihleins — the most powerful donor couple in the GOP, if not all of politics — has come to represent the rift cleaving the Republican Party writ large. While Liz has spent millions of dollars buttressing the party hierarchy, including candidates and super PACs backed by GOP leaders, Dick has invested even more heavily in tearing it down, pouring millions into far-right primary challengers and insurgent groups.
House divided: The megadonor couple battling in the GOP's civil war
Dick and Liz Uihlein have landed on opposite sides of some of the main fights illustrating the divides in the Republican Party.
It is unknown if the Uihleins dole out their largesse in festive wrappings:
However, one Lake County GOP spokesman said: "Gentlemen, there is plenty of money to go around for everyone. Please get in line. And let us know if you're in with the whackjobs. Or if you're one of their cynical enablers."

Tuesday, February 7, 2023

More Bang for the Buckeyes

it can't happen here
The Lake County exploding bomb train failed to explode in Lake County again.

This time it exploded in Ohio:
A fireball and plumes of black smoke billowed above East Palestine, Ohio, on Monday afternoon as officials released toxic chemicals from multiple rail cars that derailed last week.
Ohio skyline lit up by fireball, black plumes of smoke as toxic chemicals are released from derailed train
One industry spokesman told your LakeCountyEye: "I can explain it so anyone can understand. Our exploding bomb trains go through Lake County Ohio. And your exploding bomb trains go through Lake County Illinois. Got it?"

Your LakeCountyEye regrets the error.

Friday, February 3, 2023

Affront Money

Lake County moneybags, Richard Uihlein, has been generous to a fault.

Literally so:
"Billionaires Dick and Liz Uihlein bankrolled groups that brought us the January 6th insurrection and funneled millions towards the effort to overturn the 2020 election. Then they doubled down on their investment, sending millions more to anti-democratic and extremist groups that fueled the election denialism movement just days after the deadly assault on our Capitol."
Richard Uihlein spent heavily around Jan. 6, report finds
In related news, on April 4 Illinois will hold a consolidated election.

A Lake County GOP spokesman said: "We categorically deny there will be an election on April 4. And be sure to send your six-figure donation payment to the Republican Party of Lake County."

Sunday, January 29, 2023

Bet the Company

This just in from the Lake County Bureau of Statistics:
Q: How many Lake County Chambers of Commerce are there that endorse Internet casino gambling?

A: No fewer than 2, if you believe the Lake County Gazette -- Lake County's #1 fakenews source.
As readers of this blog will recall ...
You Bet
The Lake County Gazette published a fake Grayslake Chamber of Commerce press release extoling the rewards of online casino gambling.

Now the Lake County Gazette has published a similarly worded fake press release from the Lincolnshire Chamber of Commerce:
One media watchdog told your LakeCountyEye: "Everyone knows the Lake County Gazette obtains all of its content from Russian Troll Farms. I wouldn't be surprised if they had a botnet of online casinos up and running to pay for their war."

Tuesday, January 24, 2023

The Defensive Line

Your LakeCountyEye has an urgent plea from the Lake County Gun Merchants Assn:
"If you don't own any assault weapons, how will you defend them against those who come to confiscate your assault weapons?"
Assault weapons have been banned in Illinois, but backbench State Rep Martin McLaughlin opposes the new law:
State Rep. Martin McLaughlin, a Republican from Barrington Hills, suggested the measure jeopardized someone's right to defend themselves.
Illinois' sweeping firearms ban certain to end up in court, and some experts doubt it will stand
Do homeowners really need assault weapons to protect themselves? One Lake County GOP spokesman said: "If you live in Barrington Hills like McLaughlin does, then absolutely. The mosquitoes down there are bigger than crows."

Thursday, January 19, 2023

Hired Gun

Today's pop quiz was submitted by the Illinois State Rifle Association:
Q: Ed Sullivan Jr is a lobbyist for the Illinois State Rifle Association. What was Sullivan's favorite book in junior-high?

A: A Farewell to Arms
HaHa j/k. The correct answer is the Warren Zevon classic rock ballad Lawyers, Guns and Money:

Lawyers, Guns and Money (2007 Remaster)
Album: Excitable Boy
Lake County favorite son, Ed Sullivan Jr doesn't want assault weapons banned in Lake County:
Ed Sullivan, a lobbyist for the Illinois State Rifle Association, said legal action will be swift.
Illinois Bans Semiautomatic Weapons, Critics Vow Court Test
For the record, Ed Sullivan Jr is a former Lake County GOP elected official. It is not known if Sullivan has seen any of Lake County lately.

Sunday, January 15, 2023

Don't Take the Law into Your Own Hands, Take It to Court

too surreal
The history books of the future will say Lake County played a prominent role in the Illinois assault weapons ban. One prominent name in that history is Lake County favorite son, Ed Sullivan Jr.

Sullivan, a former GOP office-holder, is a lobbyist for the Illinois State Rifle Association. Ed Sullivan Jr wants to see the assault weapons law struck down by the courts:
Sullivan echoed ISRA executive director Richard Pearson's "challenge accepted" statement from Tuesday, noting that lawsuits are on the way. He said gun rights advocates will seek an injunction halting the implementation of the law, and that legal precedents show the law is unconstitutional.
As advocates in Lake County celebrate passage of assault weapons ban, local gun rights backers mull options
When asked if it would be appropriate to initiate a court challenge against the weapons ban in Lake County, one Lake County GOP spokesman said: "Yippee yi yo ki yay, Buckaroo".

Wednesday, January 11, 2023

You Bet

An actual unretouched screencap from Lake County's #1 fakenews source, the Lake County Gazette:
The Lake County Gazette reproduced the Grayslake Chamber of Commerce logo.  And a supposed press release lauding the rewards of online casino gambling.

One captain of industry told your LakeCountyEye: "Interest rates must be higher than I thought, if the Grayslake Chamber advises members to raise capital by placing bets on the Internet."

Friday, January 6, 2023

Cash & Kari

you can't spell arizona without nra
It has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that January 1 was the first day of 2023.

Your LakeCountyEye was also surprised that the gunfire heard throughout the County was in fact not new years fireworks. No, those gunshots were Lake County Republicans discharging their weapons in celebration.

After learning that Lake County moneybags Richard Uihlein has been donating to right-wing causes, Lake County Republicans celebrated a big contribution that went to the benefit of Lake*:
If election denier Kari Lake got a drubbing last week, it was despite money that flowed from corporate America to a campaign committee supporting her effort to become Arizona’s next governor.
Kari Lake's Defeat in Arizona Came Despite Backing From Corporate America
the Uihlein-backed dark money nonprofit Restoration Action Inc. hired Arizona Republican Gina Swoboda as an executive director last year, paying her $108,750 in salary. Swoboda, a former Trump campaign official and the vice chair of the Arizona Republican Party, is now leading a misguided charge against the ballot count in that state on behalf of GOP gubernatorial candidate Kari Lake.
Inside the Billionaire-Backed 'Hub for Election Denial'
It is unclear if the Lake County GOP will actually see any of that Uihlein money. It may help if they change their name to the Kari-Lake County Republican Party.
*Arizona gubernatorial candidate Kari Lake

Monday, January 2, 2023

Say It Don't Spray It

An actual unretouched screencap from the tinfoil theocrats at the McHenryCountyBlog:

One randomly selected spokesman told your LakeCountyEye: "It looks like that vandal did not have spell-check activated on his spray-can."