Sunday, May 30, 2010

Mark Kirk Caught with His Pants Down

Forward to about the 13 minute mark in the C-SPAN video, to see Mark Kirk boasting to the House Budget Committee that he was the "Navy's Intelligence Officer of the Year, 1998". It must be the Memorial Day weekend because the blogosphere is atwitter over the video, more specifically over what is or is not to be found on the 10th District Congressman's military record. According to the Daily Herald,
Kirk has claimed for years to have received the Navy Intelligence Officer of the Year award for service during the Serbian conflict in the late 1990s. In fact, Kirk recently conceded on his blog that he wasn't honored with that award.
Senate candidate Kirk says award was for his entire military unit
A KirkForSenate Press Release is now saying that Kirk's unit was a recipient of the Rufus Taylor Intelligence Unit of the Year award. (Assuming the Navy does issue a Rufus Taylor Intelligence Unit of the Year award, Kirk may have been better advised to just stop his losses and quit while he was ahead.) The presser also calls Kirk's Senate opponent, Alexi Giannoulis, a failed mob banker. Meow! Team-Kirk must be smarting over the fact that someone blew the whistle on them. According to the News-Sun, the Washington Post, who broke the story,
said its inquiries were sparked by complaints from a "representative" of Illinois Treasurer Alexi Giannoulis, the Democratic candidate for senate
Kirk admits he listed wrong military award on bio
It should be no surprise to Operatives that reporters are notorious for rarely ever engaging in any actual hands-on investigative research; whenever a media outlet does break some news, it's because someone leaked them the story. Team-Kirk ought to know that in an age where everyone's secrets are readily available on the Internet, their candidate has an easily verifiable record that stretches back more than a decade. The first rule of oppo research: always oppo your own candidate first!

Needless to say, your LakeCountyEye has been engaged this weekend in some actual hands-on investigative research. Here are 10 more surprises to be found on Mark Kirk's permanent record.

10 More Misstatements on Mark Kirk's Political Resume

  1. Invented the Internet.

  2. Was Born in Honolulu.

  3. Did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.

  4. Saved Broadway Bank from Collapse.

  5. Voted for Cap and Trade.

  6. Didn't Ask.

  7. Didn't Tell.

  8. The Dog Ate My Homework.

  9. Spells fiasco: f i a s c o e

  10. The Congressman is also a Ladies Man.
    Mark Kirk gets some dates

Anyone not affiliated with British Petroleum is encouraged to send their leaks to

Saturday, May 29, 2010

On the Campaign Whale

The Shedd Aquarium's principal moneymaker -- their pod of white beluga whales -- have produced another calf. Which means it is time once again to name the new baby beluga whale. It goes without saying the Shedd has yet to miss an opportunity to turn these infrequently periodic events into some easy PR/Ad-buzz for the Aquarium.

Operatives may be wondering, Why is your LakeCountyEye giving the fish-eye to the Shedd Aquarium? Because whales are like babies and dogs: in politics, it never hurts to be seen kissing one. Predictably our local politicians have taken the bait and are in line to soak up some of the free feelgood PR. According to the Daily Herald ...
Name dropping: Suburban leaders weigh in on belugas
no fewer than 22 local pols are competing to name the whale.
• Des Plaines Mayor
• Elk Grove Village Mayor
• Gurnee Mayor
• Former Lake Park District 108 School Board Member
• Itasca Community Library Director
• Roselle Village President
• Naperville Mayor
• Palatine Mayor
• Hanover Park Mayor
• Inverness Mayor
• Prospect Heights Mayor
• River Trails Elementary District Superintendent
• Northwest Suburban High School District 214 Member
• Superintendent of Arlington Heights Elementary School District 25
• Mount Prospect Mayor
• Principal of Prospect High School,
• Executive Director of the Arlington Heights Chamber of Commerce
• Mayor of Schaumburg
• Maine Township High School District 207 Superintendent
• Arlington Heights Mayor
• Rolling Meadows Mayor
• Hoffman Estates Mayor
Your LakeCountyEye hasn't seen this many politicians interested in a fish since Harriet Miers was nominated to the Supreme Court ...
Creepy Tribune Cartoonist Pretends Not to Care about Elena Kagan's Sexual Orientation
For those local politicians who haven't jumped on the baby beluga bandwagon yet, what are you waiting for? The contest is still open -- you can't win if you don't play. In case your PR guy has taken a long weekend, here are 10 suggested names for the the baby beluga whale.

Top 10 Names for the New Baby Beluga Whale

  1. Flipper

  2. Princess Nudelman

  3. Special Porpoise Entity

  4. Namor the Sub-Mariner

  5. Caucasian Carp

  6. Javier, the Beluga Caviar

  7. Lady Belugaga

  8. The LOLrus

  9. Baby B.O.P.*

  10. Chicken of the Sea

*Blow Out Preventer

Your LakeCountyEye will be spending the holiday by the LakeCountyEye Koi Pond. Chasing away the Blue Herons.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Creepy Tribune Cartoonist
Pretends Not to Care about Elena Kagan's
Sexual Orientation

Does anyone think the (predictably creepily drawn) Senate Judiciary Committee will go anywhere near the whole lesbian thing? And with a ten foot pole? The only ones who care about these things are the right-wing blogs & talk-radio, where the sexual orientation of any nominee to high post is so much grist for their mills. Of course this didn't stop the Chicago Tribune from bringing up the issue -- and being shocked that anyone would bring up the issue.

Chicago Tribune, 05/19/2010

Operatives may be wondering: Well howcome your LakeCountyEye is bringing up the issue? The answer is: Keyword Stuffing. It is well known that web traffic can be doubled, tripled even, just by the judicious insertion of a few performance enhancing keywords into a website. While the precise identity of these keywords are closely held industry secrets, your LakeCountyEye is privy to insider information of this as well as diverse other provenance.

Experts agree, the one keyword always guaranteed to boost the web-stats of even the most moribund website is: LESBIAN. Other high yield keywords include LESBIANISM, LESBIANS and LEBANESE. As well as LESBIAN. And LESBIAN1.



Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Cross the Border

The McHenryCountyBlog last week posted an eye-popping statistic ...
... the Illinois Auditor General's study of Rod Blagojevich’s All Kids taxpayer-subsidized health care program says 75% of 71,665 children on the program were "undocumented immigrants."
Illegal Aliens Compose 75% of All Kids Taxpayer Subsidized Health Care Program
The facts & figures cited, including the 75% number, were all from a recent Daily Herald story. Of course if someone -- ie your LakeCountyEye -- had been paying any attention, your LakeCountyEye would have smelled something fishy. As these things go, IllinoisReason (the blogosphere's binary opposite to the McHenryCountyBlog) was paying attention and called out the McHenryCountyBlog ...
Former state legislator Cal Skinner posted a rather sensational article over at Ill Review — mirrored at his own McHenry County Blog — falsely claiming a recent audit showed "Illegal Aliens Compose 75% of "All Kids" Taxpayer Subsidized Health Care Program" (his title). He's wrong. And he even dragged the Daily Herald into it despite the fact they got the story correct.
Ill Review's Skinner Gets Facts Wrong on Undocumented Immigrants
IllinoisReason was charging McHenryCountyBlog with selectively misquoting the Daily Herald. The Herald story does contain an important -- and omitted -- caveat ...
As of June 30, 2009, there were 71,665 children enrolled, 75 percent of which - 54,073 - were classified as undocumented immigrants, auditors found, though they cautioned mistakes in state All Kids data suggest the number is inflated.
Audit rips All Kids health care, cites widespread abuse
As your LakeCountyEye reads it, All Kids's own documents indicate that 75% of their enrollees are no-doc immigrants. However, the Herald story also cautions that the All Kids's figures are likely to be in error.

One McHenryCountyBlog commenter, perhaps a sockpuppet, fired back ...
the main point is the atrocity in the fact that ANY undocumented immigrants (ergo ILLEGAL to begin with) can avail themselves of ANY tax payer supported programs, aid, assistance, or help.
Illegal Aliens Compose 75% of All Kids Taxpayer Subsidized Health Care Program
Your LakeCountyEye, an observer of the big picture, would have to concede the larger point -- whether the figure is 75% or 50% or 25%, there are illegal immigrants working the system to their advantage.

Your LakeCountyEye's take-home: if Identity Politics is your game, then one can do worse than point a finger at the undocumented immigrants. Tapping into resentment, the so-called Southern Strategy, worked for Nixon in 1968. And as a political strategy, it works in 2010. There is resentment for all those illegal aliens that live wherever it is that they live; resentment that illegal aliens receive taxpayer-funded services; resentment that their children get public medical care.

A note to LakeCountyEye Operatives: When tapping into resentment, it also doesn't hurt to be rapping -- wrapping one's self in the flag. But when it comes to playing the Politics of Resentment your LakeCountyEye would advise anyone with the chutzpah, that it is even better to wrap it in religious symbols. It works for the McHenryCountyBlog, where these images (and more) regularly appear ...

Message of the Day – A Bumper Sticker
(McHenryCountyBlog 03/28/2010)

Message of the Day – A License Plate Holder
(McHenryCountyBlog 09/13/2009)

Message of the Day – A Bumper Sticker
(McHenryCountyBlog 06/29/2009)

Message of the Day – The Side of an Apartment Building
(McHenryCountyBlog 05/24/2009)

Message of the Day – A Bumper Sticker
(McHenryCountyBlog 05/17/2009)

Message of the Day – A Tee Shirt
(McHenryCountyBlog 04/05/2009)

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Clerk of the Circuit City?

The Lake County Courthouse is now equipped with some new video monitors. The News-Sun reported today ...
Special fund bankrolled new TVs
Coffelt takes County Board off the hook
the Clerk of the Circuit Court bought ten new 40-inch monitors for $40,000. At $4000 per unit, Circuit Clerk Sally Coffelt must not shop for her electronics at the Best Buy, where a 40-inch TV can be brought home & installed that same day for $500 and change.

The purpose of the monitors, according to the News-Sun, is to ...
display the names and courtrooms scheduled each day. The display is similar to what people see when they go to the airport. That's where the idea came from, Coffelt said.
(While waiting for a delayed flight, your LakeCountyEye hazards to guess.) Coffelt also told the News-Sun that money for the monitors came from a ...
designated project fund that did not come from tax dollars.
Um, ok, if taxpayers did not pay for the equipment, then who did? Your LakeCountyEye doubts that it was an out-of-pocket expense for Coffelt. But one never knows, the many Coffelt friends & family members on the Circuit Clerk's payroll may have chipped into a hat a couple bucks each to cover the expense.

Other Counties make their Court Records available on the Internet -- even in bronze-age McHenry County you can take care of your traffic tickets on-line. Of course this is all probably too much to hope for from the Lake County Clerk of the Circuit Court. At least they can manage 40-inch screens! Here are the 10 most watched shows on the new Lake County Courthouse HDTVs.

10 Top Rated Shows on the New Lake County Courthouse Monitors
1Judge Judy
2Grand Theft Auto IV
3Waukegan Escape Artist
4Video Poker
5Dan Duffy Red Light Videos
6Scottsdale Holiday Invitational Girls Basketball Tournament Cancelled
7Wet I own the (female body part), so I make the rules T-Shirt Contest
8Dog the Bounty Hunter
9Leave Britney Alone!
10The Ballad of Sally Coffelt

For those wondering, your LakeCountyEye may be contacted at the Lake County Courthouse. Look for the propeller-head with the universal remote.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Divided Interest?

It's an immutable law of supply & demand: voters demand smaller government & lower taxes and (prior to elections) politicians supply promises to make it happen. Of course, immutable laws are made to be broken, and this one was broke big-time by Senate Bill 3010. This bill gives Illinois townships the authority buy or build new township halls without requiring approval from their voters. Big expansion of government powers. And it passed easily last week -- voted for enthusiastically by both Democrats and small-government Republicans. The McHenryCountyBlog took note of this anomaly ...
Legislators Dissing Voters
blessing Libertarian Senator Dan Duffy for voting against the bill, while blasting just about every other local legislator for supporting SB3010.

Among those other legislators voting YEA was Rep. Ed Sullivan Jr. of Mundelein. Which seems unexpected, given that Sullivan can be counted on to promise his voters smaller government & lower taxes every election cycle. Unexpected, until you factor in that Sullivan is also the Fremont Assessor. Fremont as in Fremont Township. Could it be that Sullivan's focus on smaller government is clouded by divided loyalties -- loyalty to his district voters versus loyalty to the Fremont Township board?

It is obvious, we think, that Sullivan, as Fremont Assessor, could benefit from a Bill that would make it easier for a Township to obtain lavish office space. And there is a trend in that direction. Ela Township just billed taxpayers nearly $3 million for a new 11,000 sq/ft Hall. The voters in Grafton Township in McHenry County are fighting a proposed $5 million Hall. Does Fremont Township need/want a new Hall? Shouldn't have Sullivan recused himself from voting on SB3010 -- a clear conflict of interest?

Monday, May 10, 2010

Seal of Approval

Some local Senators were mixing it up Friday on the Senate floor; the Daily Herald provided the blow-by-blow ...
Lawmaker's fundraising letter prompts criticism
It was a case of Dan the Torpedoes, Full Speed Ahead -- as Senator Dan Kotowski charged Senator Dan Duffy with a campaign impropriety.

The State of Illinois Seal was prominent on a Duffy campaign fundraising letter mailed out to donors. (The charge is apparent payback for an earlier criticism levelled at Senator Michael Noland, who sent a letter to lawmakers and lobbyists on Senate stationery.) It is old news but bears repeating: to be a targeted scapegoat, like this, and from the Senate floor, means Duffy has no friends -- on either side of the aisle.

Now the merits of this particular charge are open to debate. Absolutely, the State Seal is for official State of Illinois documents, and shouldn't be ever seen on campaign lit. And absolutely, they all do it anyways, so what's the big deal?

Personally, your LakeCountyEye sees nothing untoward with the practice.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Shirt List

You've gone viral when the media latches on a nickname that identifies who you are, like, say, Nail-Polish Driver. All of which means T-Shirt Girl has gone viral. As posted here ...
Lock'em Up & Throw Away the Tee
a Round Lake Park woman was tossed in jail for wearing a naughty T-shirt while waiting in the gallery at the Lake County Court. The exact message on the T-shirt, noted by the News-Sun, was ...
I own the (female body part), so I make the rules.
The story got some MSM attention and now T-Shirt Girl has been contacted by NBC News and The View and, according to a News-Sun update ...
T-shirt girl to file suit
is filing a lawsuit. Operatives wishing to eyeball the details of the Contempt-of-Court contretemps are directed to The Smoking Gun ...
"I Have The Gavel, So I Make The Rules"
which has the images and court documents.

Coincidentally, I Have The Gavel, So I Make The Rules is a T-Shirt that your LakeCountyEye has worn to Court on a couple of occasions -- and to no avail, not even a raised eyebrow. Of course it should be no surprise that your LakeCountyEye has fulfilled more court dates over the years than the LakeCountyEye highboy has T-shirts. Some of which are listed here.

10 LakeCountyEye T-Shirts Worn to Court Without Incident

  1. I have the yeast, so I raise the dough.

  2. I make the vaccine, so I call the shots.

  3. I own the loom, so I pull the strings.

  4. I follow the bride, so I take the train.

  5. I have the diamond rasp, so I filed the suit.

  6. I shot the Sheriff, so I did not shoot the Deputy.

  7. I have the International Prototype Meter, so I make the rules.

  8. I am not on staff, so I am not a crook.

  9. I have the clutch, so I make the passes.

  10. I write the songs, so I write the songs.

Your LakeCountyEye thought that one of these would have elicited at least a smirk from someone. Of course, it is hard to read a T-Shirt when it's worn under those black robes that they expect you to wear.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Lock'em Up & Throw Away the Tee

A Constitutional crisis is unfolding and within our midst. Judge Helen Rozenburg, at the Waukegan County Court on Monday, tossed a spectator into the County lockup on a charge of contempt. The reason? The spectator was wearing a T-shirt with an inappropriate message. The improper message? It was, according to the News-Sun ...
I own the (female body part), so I make the rules.
Round Lake Park woman protests penalty for T-shirt
One doesn't need to be a Constitutional scientist to recognize a flagrant violation of our free speech rights. Sharp-eyed Operatives will discern that the actual message has been redacted and the News-Sun has violated our First Amendment rights to know what was written on the T-shirt!

To avert a Constitutional showdown of Watergational proportion, your LakeCountyEye has volunteered to break news and divulge the fulltext of the pernicious shirt ...
I own the County Judge, so I make the rules.
This and many other Lake County Lawyer Jokes are available free of charge, courtesy Google.

Creepy Tribune Cartoonist Doubles Down;
Draws Yet Another Creepy Cartoon

Read it and creep ...

Chicago Tribune, 05/06/2010
... the horror ... the horror ...

Castro Fight

Is Island Lake Trustee Laurie Rabattini nipping at Buffalo Grove Trustee Lisa Stone's heels? As reported here ...
FOIA Fevah
Rabattini is on the cusp of eclipsing Stone as the new Lisa Stone of Lake County elected officials. One strategy Rabattini employed to great effect was to liken, on her blog, other Island Lake elected officials with Nazis. Stone, obviously feeling the heat, retaliated this week after the passage of a Buffalo Grove ordinance to regulate the conduct of Village meetings. According to the Daily Herald, Stone, who opposed the ordinance, said Fidel Castro would be proud ...
Buffalo Grove passes new rules; Stone says 'Castro would be proud'
In the parlance of Texas hold'em, Stone is telling Rabattini I'll see your Hitler and raise you a Castro.

Now, sharp-eyed operatives will undoubtedly observe, that in the hierarchy of demonizers, when it comes to invidious comparisons, Fidel Castro is no slouch. However, even Castro does not approach Adolf Hitler, who in the pecking order of defamatory signifiers, is still the H-bomb. And true enough. However this is a weighted contest, so a couple of qualifiers: The difference between Buffalo Grove and Island Lake is the difference between well-heeled-Winnetka and back-woods-Johnsburg. Moreover Stone wasn't merely venting on some marginally relevant Internet blog. Stone's remarks were on the record -- directed toward Buffalo Grove elected officials during a village board meeting.

Advantage Lisa Stone.

In related news, look for the LakeCountyEye Political Demonizer™ with the all-new adjustable Castro beard™ Web Widget. Coming soon!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Creepy Tribune Cartoonist
Draws Another Creepy Cartoon

The creepy Chicago Tribune editorial cartoonist shriveled your LakeCountyEye's Grape-Nuts this morning ...

Chicago Tribune, 05/05/2010
Look out lady, the INFLATION goblins want to swallow your kid!

Posted from Underneath the LakeCountyEye Bed

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

GOP Wish: Welsh on Walsh

Joe Walsh, Tea Party paladin and Eighth Congressional District candidate, may be well-advised to sport his Don't Tread On Me T-shirt. Because GOP Party leaders would like to see Walsh thrown under the campaign bus. Press leaks rivaling a BP oil spill have, the past few weeks, brought a flood of media attention to Walsh's campaign. Notably, Walsh was 6 months late filing his financial disclosure statement with the FEC.
GOP Congressional Candidate Joe Walsh Fails To File Personal Financial Disclosure Form
And this week, some staffers resigned from the Walsh campaign, while inviting FoxChicagoNews and the Grayslake police to participate.
2 of Republican Candidate Joe Walsh's Aides, Some Volunteers Quit
More important to a political campaign than a good message is being able to control that message. Local GOP poobahs monitoring the Walsh campaign message no doubt think a geologist in Iceland has the better command over the next eruption. Small wonder the Republican committeemen in Cook and party chiefs in Lake Counties are powwowing over how to get Walsh to make like Mark Sanford and take a hike.

Don't expect anything soon. Walsh is the decisive winner of a 6-way primary, who appealed to party activists and the Tea Party membership. He has moved his family all the way from well-heeled Winnetka to back-woods Johnsburg. Johnsburg is both in-district and in McHenry county, his base of support. Walsh also recently brought on-board McHenry County Board member Nick Provenzano to manage his campaign. Perhaps most importantly, Walsh is unemployed, which ipso facto makes running for Congress his current livelihood.

Although envious of how the Democrats surgically dispatched Scott Lee Cohen, if the IL GOP are searching for a way to trash-can Walsh they have their work cut out. This means either offering him a real job somewhere, or digging up the kind of oppo-dirt that will make Walsh exit-stage-right quietly. Michael Madigan made the inconvenient Scott Lee Cohen go away after a two hour meeting. Unfortunately for the eighth district GOP, they have no equivalent to a Michael Madigan. They may need to hire the House Speaker's services for an afternoon.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Regrets Only

Sarah Palin is on your LakeCountyEye radar this week. The politician with more EXes in front of her name than a porn star will headline a Republican funder May 12 in Rosemont. Palin is a favorite among the Tea Partiers, which makes her a proven draw and fundraiser. However those to expect to not show up, and in droves, are any 2010 Republican candidate within earshot of the event. The Daily Herald explains why ...
... for all of Palin's star power as a former vice presidential candidate whose autobiography recently dominated the best-seller charts, many Republicans running for office in Illinois are not jumping up to meet her. "They don't want to take the risk, but I'm sure they will take the money," surmises Paul Green, a veteran political professor with Roosevelt University. A photo with Palin could prove damaging to some Republicans running in suburban districts that have been trending more and more Democratic in recent elections, Green says.
Republicans hopefuls will keep their distance when Palin comes to town
LakeCountyEye Operatives inside camp Palin have obtained their fundraiser's invitation list, along with some of the sent regrets. Ten have been mustered below. Someone is not amused!

10 Candidates Who Send Sarah Palin Their Regrets
CandidateOfficeRSVP Excuse
1Dan DuffyState SenateStuck at a Red Light
2Mark KirkUS SenateSubmarine Duty
3Matt MurphyState SenateWaiting for a Legislative Fleet Vehicle
4Peter RoskamUS CongressRépondez s'il vous plaît?
This is America. We speak English.
5Bill BradyGovernorAppointment with IRS Auditor
6Joe WalshUS CongressCampaign Bus Wheels Repossessed
7Bob DoldUS CongressHeld up at the Pharmacy.
Bob Dold knows a little about Viagra.
8JoAnn OsmondState RepresentativePlease RSVP to Linda Pedersen
9Mark CurranLake County SheriffScheduled Conference Call w/God
10Rod BlagojevichAnother Ex-GovernorInsufficient Capacity at the Rosemont for More than One Drama Queen

With this many no-shows, there are no doubt plenty of good seats available -- exclusively at TicketMaster. As for your LakeCountyEye ...
I just got an invitation through the mails:
"Your presence requested this evening,
It's formal, a top hat, a white tie and tails."
Nothing now could take the wind out of my sails.
Because I'm invited to step out this evening
With top hat and white tie and tails.
I'm putting on my top hat,
Tying up my white tie,
Brushing off my tails.
I'm duding up my shirtfront,
Putting in the shirt studs,
Polishing my nails.
I'm stepping out, my dear,
To breathe an atmosphere
That simply reeks with class;
And I trust
That you'll excuse my dust
When I step on the gas.
For I'll be there,
Putting down my top hat,
Mussing up my white tie,
Dancing in my tails.

Top Hat, White Tie and Tails
See you in Rosemont!