Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Digressional Districts

If 14 was 8. I don't mind. I don't mind.The public sector pensioners at the McHenryCountyBlog can be counted on to call a spade a spade -- or in this case to call Joe Walsh the Tip of the Spear ...
"Tip of the Spear" Joe Walsh is Front Page Negative News in Chicago Tribune
But Walsh may have just been caught wetting the tip of his spear because it is indicating that the wind is blowing in the direction of the Eighth Congressional District. Walsh, a victim of redistricting, had been running for re-election in the Fourteenth Congressional District, against Republican incumbent Randy Hultgren. The Daily Herald is now reporting that Walsh may have decided to run in the district he represents, the Eighth:
Eighth District Congressman Joe Walsh is expected to announce as early as the next day or two whether he will run for re-election in a district different from the one where he has already been campaigning. Such a move would allow the McHenry Tea Partyer to avoid a bitter, costly primary fight against a fellow Republican freshman but at the same time would require him to launch a new campaign in a far more Democratic-leaning district.
Walsh might switch districts, announcement expected
It was widely believed that Walsh faced a better chance at beating Hultgren in Fourteen, than beating a generic Democrat in the Eighth. If Walsh does file to run in the Eighth instead, that would indicate he is polling poorly in Fourteen. So poorly, he is being forced to go for broke in Eight.

Randy Hultgren would be the obvious beneficiary of a defection by Walsh. Tammy Duckworth, the likely Democratic nominee in the Eighth District, would also benefit from the opportunity to run against Walsh. Walsh would be harder to beat than the token Republican opposition currently on tap in the Eighth. But Duckworth has already seized the opportunity to fundraise against Walsh, a nationally recognized leftwing bugbear. Ditto goes for Raja Krishnamoorthi -- a possible, but less likely, Democratic nominee in Eight.

The biggest loser is Frank McClatchey, the declared Democratic candidate in the Fourteenth District. McClatchey had an outside chance against a Republican with high negatives like Walsh -- even in a Republican vote sink. But McClatchey, by your LakeCountyEye's reckoning, has no chance at beating a Randy Hultgren.

Other losers would be the McHenryCountyBlog. Walsh would be effectively moving his campaign operation to Schaumburg. Schaumburg is to McHenry County as The Office is to Dukes of Hazzard.

The other big loser is your LakeCountyEye. Without Joe Walsh to kick around any more your LakeCountyEye is on a collision course to losing some serious raison d'etre Mo-Joe.

Say it ain't so, Joe!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Signature Song

That's AmoreTis the season in Lake County -- when bands of merry emissaries wander door to door, sing the praises of their king of kings, asking only in return your sign of recognition. Ha ha, it's petition season for the 2012 election in Lake County. As readers of this blog are misfortunately aware ...
Christmas in Springfield?
the petition filing deadline for Congressional candidates has been extended to Christmas Eve and beyond. Candidates for Congress who are down for the count and ready to concede defeat, now have until Christmas to meet their petition requirement.

Operatives are advised to check their peepholes before answering their doors -- on the other side may be poorly-paid and surly campaign petition circulators. Or they just might be the LakeCountyEye carolers only wishing to spread some holiday cheer:
Christmas Notes

Will you take this petition?
It's for our politician.
We'd like you to sign,
Your name on this line.
Knockin' for a long-shot congressman.

Many thanks, you've been too kind.
Christmas day is our deadline.
You are number four.
We'll need many more.
Knockin' for a long-shot congressman.

In the WalMart is a cardboard snowman.
Let's all pretend he lives in Mundelein.
We'll say: Are you registered to vote, man?
He can say: Since nineteen and sixty nine!

Only need another million.
When its done we'll be chillin'.
Fabricate to play,
The Chicago way.
Knockin' for a long-shot congressman.

Christmas Notes
Look for your LakeCountyEye, walkin' in the you know what.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Christmas in Springfield?

Lake County has celebrated another Thanksgiving. Its observance traditionally marks the beginning of a month-long season of festive preparation where friends, family & neighbors all come together to engage in what is truly a once-in-a-year occasion. Yes, the War on Christmas, simmering all year, has again erupted into a shooting war. The opening salvo against this most sacred of holidays is typically fired from the war-room of some activist nanny-state federal court. This year is no exception. According to the Chicago Tribune ...
A federal judge today moved back the filing schedule for Illinois congressional candidates to late December while deliberations continue on a lawsuit challenging the state's new U.S. House district boundaries. The start date for filing candidate petitions was to begin next Monday. But U.S. District Judge Joan Lefkow, one of three federal judges overseeing a Republican challenge to the Democratic-drawn boundaries, set Friday, Dec. 23, through Tuesday, Dec. 27, as the new filing period.
Federal court pushes back congressional candidate filing while Illinois map in dispute
Operatives will not need to consult their pollsters to see that Christmas -- Dec. 25 -- falls smack dab in the middle of Dec.-23-through-Dec.-27, the new federally mandated Congressional filing period.

As readers of this blog are acutely aware ...
The Petition Edition
Not a holiday.the Congressional primary ballot in Lake County is looking to be packed tighter than the Millburn Strangler in a ComEd outage. Typically most congressional candidates are utter noobs, unable to meet even their minimum petition requirement. But every one of those Congressional campaigns, experiencing near-death right about now, just got mouth-to-mouth resuscitated with this federal ruling.

Scores of congressional candidates will now be forsaking their holiday obligations in last-minute pursuit of petition signatures. And holiday shoppers will be staying home in droves rather than risk being overpowered by an army of campaign operatives desperately advancing to hit that magic-number of signatures before the new post-Christmas deadline. Thank you, unelected panel of federal judges, the Grinch himself couldn't have done a better job stealing Christmas in Lake County.

Your LakeCountyEye shudders to think what those activist judges have next up the sleeves of their black robes, in pursuit of their total War On Christmas. Oh, the humanity, won't somebody think of the children?

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy X-Giving!

Your LakeCountyEye wishes each and every reader of this blog a Happy Thanksgiving!

Gobble gobble!
  • Bonne Action de grâce
  • Feliz Día de Acción de Gracias
  • Fröhliche Danksagung
  • Glædelig Helligdag
  • Vrolijke gedenkdagen
  • God Helgdag
  • Święto dziękczynienia
  • 感恩節快樂
  • 感謝祭おめでとう
  • سعيد عيد الشكر
  • Rojashukrépirozbe
  • Masaya pasasalamat
  • Keje
  • 즐거운 추수 감사절
  • С Днем благодарения
  • ŞükranGününüzkutluolsun
  • щастлив благодарност
  • sretan zahvalnosti
  • šťastný díkůvzdání
  • lykkelig taksigelse
  • Ευτυχής ημέρα των ευχαριστιών
  • שמחה והודיה
  • खुश धन्यवाद
  • felice ringraziamento
  • fericit mulţumire
  • Happy Thanksgiving

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Debatable Candidates

Capra CornYour LakeCountyEye has confirmed that because of decennial redistricting, the number of candidates on the 2012 ballot will exceed the number of registered voters in Lake County. With the petition deadline a short week away, an emergency plan is in the works to bus up migrant voters from Cook County.

Ha ha, as readers of this blog are abundantly aware ...
The Petition Edition
the 2012 election cycle has produced a bumper crop of new candidates, who all want support from the same limited pool of party operatives, like so many bumper cars crowded in a, erm, bumper shop.

In politics, as it is in the Bible, many are called but few are chosen. The typical sales pitch delivered in the proverbial smoke-filled room, your LakeCountyEye has learned, follows a predictable trajectory:
 Candidate:I'm running for Congress and I need your help.
 Operative:Awesome. What are your qualifications?
 Candidate:I have a lot of ideas.
 Operative:I meant what do you bring to the table?
 Candidate:My ideas! Washington is broken and I know how to fix it.
 Operative:Outstanding. Of course anyone who listens to Limbaugh and Hannity can repeat all the talking points. But what differentiates you? More to the point, how much money have you raised?
 Candidate:Money? I don't have any.
 Operative:Then what's your fundraising plan?
 Candidate:That's why I'm here, asking for your support. I need someone to raise the money for me.
 Operative:Have you thought about running for your county board instead?
 Candidate:County board? What's that?
For the record, the above transcription is taken from a candidate interview conducted in 2009. The candidate's name? Joe Walsh. The rest is history.

Monday, November 21, 2011

The Petition Edition

Sign on the dotted line.It's Thanksgiving week in Lake County -- traditionally a time to pause & reflect and make sure your petition packets are bound, correctly numbered and in sequential order. Ha ha, it's the last Monday before the first filing day and operatives are running around like turkeys with their heads chopped off hoping to secure enough signatures to meet their minimum ballot requirement.

Now that the county's been redistricted, virtually every office holder is up for re-election in 2012 -- from your congressman at the top of the ballot all the way down to the lowly precinct captain at the bottom, and with a bunch of state legislators & county board reps packed in between. That crowd of last minute shoppers at your grocery store are actually petition circulators -- so do like your LakeCountyEye and memorize this helpful phrase ...
Ich weiß nicht Englisch!
and purchase that sixpack of holiday cheer with no unwanted delay!

According to the LakeCountyEye rule of thumb, if you are reading this but still don't have your minimum required signatures then please go home, you're not a real candidate. (For the record, a real candidate in your situation would file a short petition stack and hope no one challenges.) Nothing screams political loser noob louder than the candidate who files X plus 2 signatures for an office requiring X signatures. Seriously, if you can't file a challenge-proof X times 2 signatures, then just file a sheet or two from that last Chamber and/or Union meeting. At least it will look like you got something or other up your sleeve.

Regardless what anyone says, operatives this week can be expected to -- erm -- forge ahead to meet their petition goals. Of course your LakeCountyEye doesn't need to convene a roundtable ring of experts to make it known that forgery is illegal. However your LakeCountyEye is reminded of one enterprising operative who, back in the day, produced a thick stack of petitions with names copied out of a Minneapolis phone book. A skeptical collaborator reminded him that they were filing in Lake County. "Right," said the operative. "These are all people from Minnesota. Who's going to suspect that any of these names were forged?"

Look for your LakeCountyEye outside a grocery store near you.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Monument to Cupidity?

Your LakeCountyEye, last observed careening about the uncharted northern steppes of Lake County ...
The Bob & Tom Show
after one too many right turns is blogging tonight from Crystal Lake. To make matters worse, the GPS tracking device attached to the LakeCountyEye low-speed vehicle indicated that Crystal Lake is in gasp! McHenry County.

Luckily, your LakeCountyEye was able to find an information kiosk. However hopes for getting directions back to the LakeCountyEye compound got the kibosh when that kiosk turned out to be a Sheriff's sub-station instead:
Rogue's Gallery
Just your LakeCountyEye's luck, there was nobody at home in the sub-station.

Can some operative contact the McHenryCountyBlog?
Could TIF Monument Ads Help City Collect More Sales Taxes?
Hopefully one of the public sector pensioners over there will know where your LakeCountyEye is stranded.

Friday, November 18, 2011

The Bob & Tom Show

The 99% have taken to the streets and your LakeCountyEye has joined their ranks to Occupy the Lake County Roundabouts. Frankly, after an hour of stone cold protest marching round and round and round a traffic circle, your LakeCountyEye needs to set for a spell and maybe check the e-mail.

Frequent commenter TK writes:
"Comparing Bob Dold to Tom Delay is dirty pool! You're a shill for the Chicago machine!"
While frequent commenter Louis G Althusser writes:
"Comparing Bob Dold to Tom Delay is hard cheese! You only print oppo from the DCCC!"
Well, when the great unwashed speaks, your LakeCountyEye listens. As readers of this blog are backwardly aware ...
Dold & Hammer
your LakeCountyEye dug up some startling parallels between 10th District Congressman Robert Dold and former Republican House Majority Leader Tom Delay. But after reviewing the new oppo, it has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention a disservice has been perpetrated on the representative and that Robert Dold is no Tom Delay. The two politicians are totally different. Different in 10 ways, to be exact:

Ten Differences Between Robert Dold and Tom Delay
  1. Tom Delay: Aries
    Robert Dold: Cancer

  2. Tom Delay: Convicted in Texas of Money Laundering
    Robert Dold: Never Convicted in Texas of Money Laundering

  3. Tom Delay: CEO of Albo Pest Control
    Robert Dold: CEO of Rose Pest Solutions

  4. Tom Delay: Resides in Sugar Land, Texas
    Robert Dold: Resides in Kenilworth, Illinois

  5. Robert Dold: Does not live in Illinois's Tenth Congressional District
    Tom Delay: Does not live in Illinois's Eighth Congressional District

  6. Tom Delay: Federal law prohibits a convicted felon from possessing a gun.
    Robert Dold: 2010 NRCC Young Gun

  7. Tom Delay: Awesome Nickname -- The Hammer
    Robert Dold: Awesome Nickname -- TBD

  8. Tom Delay: Competed on Dancing with the Stars, Season Nine
    Robert Dold: Not seen on Season Nine of Dancing with the Stars

  9. Robert Dold: Does a spot-on impression of Quick Draw McGraw
    Tom Delay: No spot-on impression of Quick Draw McGraw

  10. Tom Delay: Left-Wing Bugbear
    Robert Dold: Yeah, he wishes

Robert Dold

Quick Draw McGraw
Fool you once, shame on me. Fool you twice,
you're looking at another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!

Look for your LakeCountyEye galloping off into the sunset.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Dold & Hammer

Who knew, but with redistricting Lake County is to be officially rebranded Lake County 2.0 -- and with it is getting some new congressional reps. Joe Walsh's Eighth Congressional District is leaving Lake County for good, relocating to a nice retirement condo down south; Peter Roskam's Sixth District and Robert Dold's Tenth District are moving in and plan to be around for a long time. If you count 10 years a long time. Following an act like Joe Walsh & his Figurative Fists of Fury is no mean feat, so Roskam and Dold are naturally all like: "What am I supposed to be over here, the Route 53 Extension?"

Lake County has its share of narrow political niches, and plenty of boutique blogs narrowly focused on their niches. Your LakeCountyEye however is committed to covering all of Lake County 24/7/365, and with that pledge is committed to profiling all of the County's newest congresscritters -- the newest of which being the aforementioned Robert Dold.

Robert Dold represents Lake County's newest drawn Congressional District, the 10th, which in 2012 will make a sort of Y incision starting at Deerfield, going all the way up to Zion and over to Round Lake. Not much is known about Dold. His name is comically similar to former Kansas Senator Robert Dole's. Both are Republicans but the similarity seems to end there, as Dole is both a war hero and a moderate Republican.

A more striking similarity exists between Dold and another GOP congressman, ousted Republican Party boss Tom Delay:
  • Prior to entering politics, both Dold and Delay were exterminators.
  • Neither Dold or Delay served in the armed forces.
  • Grover Norquist helped Tom Delay start the K Street Project.
    Grover Norquist campaigned for Robert Dold.
  • Tom Delay does not live in Illinois's new Tenth Congressional District.
    Neither does Robert Dold.

Robert Dold

Tom Delay
You're not seeing double,
you're seeing another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!
JFK famously said the torch has passed to a new generation. Tom Delay has gone to sit on the bench at another federal institution. The citronella torch has passed to Robert Dold!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Assessing the Damages

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.There is no truth to the rumor that some Avon Township homeowners expecting assessment blue cards were instead mailed pink slips. Ha ha, j/k. As readers of this blog are cannedidly aware,
Q the Eye/11.10.11
Avon Township this week resolved a wrongful termination suit, resulting in a $450,000 court ordered fine judgement settlement ... whatevs.

Chicago perfected the spoils system: "I got you elected, now if you don't give me a job you're spoiling for a fight." So to the victor goes the spoils but, as operatives sometimes ask, what do you do when the losers won't leave? There is an art and etiquette to firing those unwanted employees, and if not done correctly expect to be like the sadsacks in Avon Township, spending a lot of quality time in a deposition room.

Appearances to the contrary, there are ways to sack that unloyal government hire without risking serious blowback. No stranger to the unforewarned heave-ho, here are 10 of the best strategies for finessing a termination your LakeCountyEye has witnessed over the years.

Ten Failsafe Ways to Fire that Recalcitrant Government Employee
  1. Hire Trump to do your dirty work.
  2. Bus in some union busting goons from Wisconsin.
  3. Relocate the office to a location off the Millburn Strangler; then fire everyone for being late to work every morning.
  4. 2 words every government official should remember:
    Extraordinary Rendition
  5. Sack that employee the Herman Cain way. Nuff said?
  6. Ouryay Iredfay!
    Fire them in Pig Latin.
  7. Don't fire those over-paid employees, shrink their paychecks instead. Install a slot machine in the lunchroom.
  8. Outsourcing is your friend. Transfer everyone to Kuala Lumpur.
  9. Organize an angry mob of small-government Tea Partiers.
  10. Cut out the middleman: just abolish township government.

Look for your LakeCountyEye -- where else -- in the unemployment line.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Thank you

Thank you to all of the men and women who served and continue to serve this great nation in the Armed Forces. All of us owe you our sincere gratitude.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Q the Eye/11.10.11

Dear LakeCountyEye,

Fired up by OWS, I organized an Occupy Prairie Crossing. But so far it's been a one-person occupation -- me -- and I'm reconsidering my career path. How about government service? Can a decent living be made there?

Sent from My iPhone

Dear Jobs Aspirant,

Ὥρος HōrosTo coin a phrase -- yes you can. A good living can be made from the public sector, just help a friend or relative get elected to a local government position and then hire on to their staff.

Now you're probably wondering if the life of a government featherbedder is meant for a hotshot gogetter like yourself. So here is the genius part of the plan: Just make it sure that your friend or relative is bounced out of office in the next election. The replacement guy coming in is then sure to fire you on the spot. And all you need to do is hire an ambulance chaser to file a federal suit for wrongful termination.

One local settlement, selected at random, may illustrate your upside potential. Four township employees recently won a substantial judgement, according to the Daily Herald:
Avon Township will pay $450,000 to settle a federal lawsuit that claimed some assessor's office employees were fired or pressured to retire for political reasons in January 2010.
Avon Twp. settles political firings case for $450K
Half a million is real money these days, let's divide it up to see what everyone gets.

The attorney gets 33% off the top. Subtract $150,000 and $300,000 remains. Dividing that by four leaves $75,000 for each plaintiff. The suit was filed in Federal court, so carfare, parking, meals and incidentals need to be factored in. Chicago is not cheap so take off another $5,000 leaving $70,000 -- still a tidy haul.

Your LakeCountyEye understands that should about cover the first installment payment on your student loan.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ...

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Virile Video

Your LakeCountyEye is doubling down, letting it all ride on the Quinella Quadrella, hoping no one will notice this is the fourth Joe Walsh story in a row. It's pretty much a sucker bet, as there's a new townhall video of Walsh chewing up the scenery for the benefit of the camera. Again. But this time it's all over the web and the cablenews and the talkradio and the teevee and everywhere. Watch it, for instance, at ThinkProgress:
GOP Rep. Joe Walsh Melts Down, Screams At Constituents: 'Dont Blame Banks! ... I Am Tired Of Hearing That Crap!'
What is remarkable about the video is not the fact that it caught some of his enablers constituents on the receiving end of the famed JoeWalsh fists of figurative fury. Your LakeCountyEye understands this is a matter-of-fact course of events at the Joe Walsh re-election offices. Remarkable is the source of the video:
Rep. Joe Walsh: DON’T Blame Banks and Marketplace
Sharpeyed operatives will immediately recognize the work of the official LakeCountyEye featured blogger, the Round Lake District 116 blog. Just scroll down and look for their blog along the right column. If you don't see it, keep scrolling. Past the ads. Somewhere near the bottom.

The videographers at the Round Lake District 116 are heretofore best known for their video of some cars going around and around a Lake County traffic circle ...

About a month ago I shot a video of the Hunt Club & Wadsworth Road roundabout that was recently completed. It's about six minutes long just to show how drivers are currently treating it like nothing more than a curve in the road. Once traffic can continue South to Milburn Road, things should change drastically as in "CRASH-EM-UP-DERBY" if they don't start treating the intersection like an intersection.
The Roundabout Runaround
And now all of a sudden the bloggers at Round Lake District 116 can claim bragging rights to a certifiably viral video. How awesome is that -- is this a great country or what?

Well, your LakeCountyEye is dusting off the Bell & Howell and heading over to the FotoMat to pick up a couple hundred feet of 16mm stock. And afterwards a quick spin through the nearest roundabout.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Dirty Poll!

Pushlamochree!There's an old-fashioned donnybrook brewing up between two candidates locked in a titanic primary-election struggle over who will be the Republican standard bearer in the 14th Congressional District. Joe Walsh and Randy Hultgren both lay claim to the 14th, a district that meanders through the parts of Lake County that no one ever goes to, and is widely regarded a sure-win, come next November, for any Republican candidate. And with less than 5 months before the primary at least one candidate is already crying foul. According to NBC Chicago ...
Walsh is accusing Hultgren of conducting a "push poll" by asking voters whether Walsh's personal life might influence their primary vote. In a push poll, a campaign worker calls voters and asks questions like, "Knowing that Congressman Snood was removed from his position as a Scoutmaster on a morals charge, would you be more or less likely to vote for him?"
Walsh Threatens to "Punch" Hultgren Over Push Poll
Ha ha. Operatives who were looking forward to participating in Hultgren's push-poll may have missed their opportunity, and are advised to find an occupation more profitable than hovering near their landlines. As an incentive, your LakeCountyEye did have an opportunity to participate in the push-poll, and remembers most of the questions. Ten to be exact:

Ten Questions Asked about Joe Walsh
by Randy Hultgren's Push-Poll
  1. Knowing that Congressman Walsh was removed from his position as a gascon on the Lawrence O'Donnell Show, would you be more or less likely to vote for him?
  2. Would you buy a used car from Joe Walsh?
  3. Did Joe Walsh remember to set his clocks back yesterday?
  4. If Joe Walsh was, like, secretly Aquaman or the Wolverine or something, would you vote for him then?
  5. How much money does Joe Walsh owe you?
  6. Were you offered competitive terms and conditions, would you consider hiring a regionally accredited collection agency?
  7. Who would win in a fair fight -- Joe Walsh or Don Henley?
  8. We have cash. Do you have gold?
  9. Was Joe Walsh ever sexually harassed by Herman Cain?
  10. Who would win in a fist fight -- Joe Walsh or Randy Hultgren?

For the record your LakeCountyEye scored 7 out of 10 -- which earns a gentleman's C and a 50% off coupon from a regionally accredited collection agency.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Friends in High Places

Joe Walsh is the only only Illinois Congressman that gets a perfect 100% score this year from the Family Research Council. But, as reported by the CapitolFaxBlog, the pro-life organization is endorsing instead Walsh's primary opponent, Randy Hultgren:
Group rates Walsh votes perfect, but actually backs opponent
With Walsh's support dropping faster lately than a court ordered rule to show cause, your LakeCountyEye has to ask: Does anyone have Joe Walsh's back these days?

When the New York Times prints an unflattering story about Walsh, he can still count on support from the corporate suits at TeamAmerica10th, who observe that Walsh has ...
almost a half-million dollars in cash-on-hand in his campaign account, no credible Dem opponent as of yet (yes, we know he has a primary to get past first), and a core group of solid (dare I say rabid) supporters. NYT notwithstanding, anyone who sneers and writes off Joe Walsh at this point would be making a big mistake.
The New York Times Takes a Swing at Joe Walsh
And the public sector pensioner's at the McHenryCountyBlog can be counted on to post photos of Walsh's sparsely attended job fair in Woodstock:
Billions Served

Hundreds and hundreds of job seekers.
600-700 Attend Joe Walsh’s Job Fair in Woodstock
But it would seem that other than TeamAmerica10th and the McHenryCountyBlog and the National Front Party in France ...
French far-right candidate visits with Walsh
Walsh has few friends left.

No doubt the rigors of appearing on the campaign trail and on cablenews and in court has found Walsh spreading himself thin lately. Walsh, who is caught in a close, winner-take-all primary battle, looks like he needs all the friends he can get. So as a service to the Congressman, your LakeCountyEye has posted a friends button:
Joe Walsh
Who needs money, message or manpower to win elections when you got lots of Facebook friends instead?

Friday, November 4, 2011

Poll No Punches

FisticuffsLake County's Republican Congressional candidates have been itchin' for a fight as far back as June, as readers of this blog are memorably aware ...
You Gotta Fight for Your Right-Wing Party
If this fightin' brigade has a tip of the spear, figuratively speaking, that would have to be fightin' Congressman Joe Walsh. Walsh is currently entrenched in the political fight of his life, where he is battling Randy Hultgren over who gets to be congressman-for-life in the 14th District. Catching Walsh off-guard, Hultgren polled the entire district and apparently drew first blood. According to the Daily Herald ...
after hearing from constituents that the poll contained a number of questions on child support and his financial past, Walsh is calling the effort a "push poll" — a political campaign technique designed to influence voters by disseminating negative and false information — and evidence of a dirty campaign. "If he raises his voice and calls into question who I am as a father, I'll punch him in the face, figuratively speaking," said Walsh, of McHenry.
Hultgren ramping up offensive: Walsh cries foul play
It is unclear whether Walsh intends to pummel Hultgren in the figurative face with some real fists, or the other way around.

Surprisingly, Walsh's fists of fury found the time to pen these words on his Facebook page:
George Washington can rightly be called the founder of our Republic. He resigned his powerful military commission to a powerless Congress and refused to be crowned king. When King George III heard this, he told the painter Benjamin West, "If he does that, he will be the greatest man in the world." And so he was, and is.
The Constitution is the guide which I never will abandon.
George Washington: First in war. First in peace. First in the hearts of his countrymen.

Joe Walsh: Fists in war. Fists in peace. Fists in the face of Randy Hultgren.

Figuratively speaking.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Custom Signage

... and here ... and here ...Your LakeCountyEye is liveblogging from the Emergency Room of -- had there been a County Hospital -- Lake County Hospital. And not only liveblogging, but liveblogging lefthandedly -- your LakeCountyEye's right hand is currently in a sling.

As readers of this blog are openly aware ...
State Senate District 31 is now and all of a sudden an open seat. The world population may officially stand at 7 billion, but easily as many candidates may be found circulating ballot petitions in Senate 31. Or so it would seem -- your LakeCountyEye believes that citizenship confers a responsibility to the democratic process, even when that means signing nominating petitions. All 7 billion of them.

Long story short, one 911 call plus ambulance ride later, and your LakeCountyEye is mulling over a diagnosis of writer's block writer's cramp carpal tunnel syndrome -- and with nothing more to show for it than an unpaid hospital bill. Your LakeCountyEye takes some consolation in the knowledge that when those petitions are inevitably challenged in December, every one of those LakeCountyEye JohnHancocks will be stricken by the judge. You see, voters aren't allowed to sign in a district where they don't live. Or sign more than one nominating petition per any election contest. Or sign if they're not registered to vote. Or a convicted felon. Or whatever. So, to all those candidates in Senate 31 who are thrown off the ballot because your petition-packet is loaded with invalid LakeCountyEye signatures: Psych!

Ha ha j/k. Truth be told, your LakeCountyEye had been hoping to produce the signatures needed to personally appear on that Senate District 31 primary ballot. But now that the LakeCountyEye writing-hand is in a sling, it's looking like there are at least two names that will not be seen on the ballot in Senate 31.