Thursday, November 10, 2011

Q the Eye/11.10.11

Dear LakeCountyEye,

Fired up by OWS, I organized an Occupy Prairie Crossing. But so far it's been a one-person occupation -- me -- and I'm reconsidering my career path. How about government service? Can a decent living be made there?

Sent from My iPhone

Dear Jobs Aspirant,

Ὥρος HōrosTo coin a phrase -- yes you can. A good living can be made from the public sector, just help a friend or relative get elected to a local government position and then hire on to their staff.

Now you're probably wondering if the life of a government featherbedder is meant for a hotshot gogetter like yourself. So here is the genius part of the plan: Just make it sure that your friend or relative is bounced out of office in the next election. The replacement guy coming in is then sure to fire you on the spot. And all you need to do is hire an ambulance chaser to file a federal suit for wrongful termination.

One local settlement, selected at random, may illustrate your upside potential. Four township employees recently won a substantial judgement, according to the Daily Herald:
Avon Township will pay $450,000 to settle a federal lawsuit that claimed some assessor's office employees were fired or pressured to retire for political reasons in January 2010.
Avon Twp. settles political firings case for $450K
Half a million is real money these days, let's divide it up to see what everyone gets.

The attorney gets 33% off the top. Subtract $150,000 and $300,000 remains. Dividing that by four leaves $75,000 for each plaintiff. The suit was filed in Federal court, so carfare, parking, meals and incidentals need to be factored in. Chicago is not cheap so take off another $5,000 leaving $70,000 -- still a tidy haul.

Your LakeCountyEye understands that should about cover the first installment payment on your student loan.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ...


Anonymous said...

A clarification is in order Mr. Eye, the insurance company paid out, not the township.

Barney Baxter said...

hi Anon,

Do you believe everything you read in the Daily Herald?


Anonymous said...

The "ambulance chaser" is no other than Keith Hunt, infamous former mayor of Hawthorn Woods. This a guy who has made political hiring a hobby.

He also had his law license suspended for 6 months for lying to a federal judge, along with his partner - Fast Eddie Vyrdolyak.

And now, for his encore performance, he is actually suing the Village he once lead, and still lives in, for "political firing" of an employee he hired some 4 years ago.

This guy is nothing short of amazing, floats like pond scum.