Friday, November 18, 2011

The Bob & Tom Show

The 99% have taken to the streets and your LakeCountyEye has joined their ranks to Occupy the Lake County Roundabouts. Frankly, after an hour of stone cold protest marching round and round and round a traffic circle, your LakeCountyEye needs to set for a spell and maybe check the e-mail.

Frequent commenter TK writes:
"Comparing Bob Dold to Tom Delay is dirty pool! You're a shill for the Chicago machine!"
While frequent commenter Louis G Althusser writes:
"Comparing Bob Dold to Tom Delay is hard cheese! You only print oppo from the DCCC!"
Well, when the great unwashed speaks, your LakeCountyEye listens. As readers of this blog are backwardly aware ...
Dold & Hammer
your LakeCountyEye dug up some startling parallels between 10th District Congressman Robert Dold and former Republican House Majority Leader Tom Delay. But after reviewing the new oppo, it has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention a disservice has been perpetrated on the representative and that Robert Dold is no Tom Delay. The two politicians are totally different. Different in 10 ways, to be exact:

Ten Differences Between Robert Dold and Tom Delay
  1. Tom Delay: Aries
    Robert Dold: Cancer

  2. Tom Delay: Convicted in Texas of Money Laundering
    Robert Dold: Never Convicted in Texas of Money Laundering

  3. Tom Delay: CEO of Albo Pest Control
    Robert Dold: CEO of Rose Pest Solutions

  4. Tom Delay: Resides in Sugar Land, Texas
    Robert Dold: Resides in Kenilworth, Illinois

  5. Robert Dold: Does not live in Illinois's Tenth Congressional District
    Tom Delay: Does not live in Illinois's Eighth Congressional District

  6. Tom Delay: Federal law prohibits a convicted felon from possessing a gun.
    Robert Dold: 2010 NRCC Young Gun

  7. Tom Delay: Awesome Nickname -- The Hammer
    Robert Dold: Awesome Nickname -- TBD

  8. Tom Delay: Competed on Dancing with the Stars, Season Nine
    Robert Dold: Not seen on Season Nine of Dancing with the Stars

  9. Robert Dold: Does a spot-on impression of Quick Draw McGraw
    Tom Delay: No spot-on impression of Quick Draw McGraw

  10. Tom Delay: Left-Wing Bugbear
    Robert Dold: Yeah, he wishes

Robert Dold

Quick Draw McGraw
Fool you once, shame on me. Fool you twice,
you're looking at another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!

Look for your LakeCountyEye galloping off into the sunset.


Anonymous said...

Kenilworth is in Illinois' 10th Congressional District. The Democrat gerrymander will not be effective, if at all, until the 2013th Congress.

Barney Baxter said...

hi Anon,

I stand corrected.


Other Anonymous said...


No correction needed on your part. Anon is the one in need of correction fluid.

...The "2013th" Congress will be in a few centuries.

...2011-12 is the "112th" Session of Congress. 2013-14 will see the "113th" Congress.

...The March 20, 2012 primary is scheduled to be held for the newly drawn maps which means residents of Kenilworth (incl. Quick-draw McGraw Dold) can not vote in the "10th" for the primary or the general election next year.

PS - for all the Republicans' fits about "gerrymandering" ... they were the ones who drew the current Congressional maps 10 years ago. Phil Crane (remember him?) even bragged about how it was gerrymandered to help the GOP. Boo-hoo.