Saturday, November 12, 2011

Assessing the Damages

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.There is no truth to the rumor that some Avon Township homeowners expecting assessment blue cards were instead mailed pink slips. Ha ha, j/k. As readers of this blog are cannedidly aware,
Q the Eye/11.10.11
Avon Township this week resolved a wrongful termination suit, resulting in a $450,000 court ordered fine judgement settlement ... whatevs.

Chicago perfected the spoils system: "I got you elected, now if you don't give me a job you're spoiling for a fight." So to the victor goes the spoils but, as operatives sometimes ask, what do you do when the losers won't leave? There is an art and etiquette to firing those unwanted employees, and if not done correctly expect to be like the sadsacks in Avon Township, spending a lot of quality time in a deposition room.

Appearances to the contrary, there are ways to sack that unloyal government hire without risking serious blowback. No stranger to the unforewarned heave-ho, here are 10 of the best strategies for finessing a termination your LakeCountyEye has witnessed over the years.

Ten Failsafe Ways to Fire that Recalcitrant Government Employee
  1. Hire Trump to do your dirty work.
  2. Bus in some union busting goons from Wisconsin.
  3. Relocate the office to a location off the Millburn Strangler; then fire everyone for being late to work every morning.
  4. 2 words every government official should remember:
    Extraordinary Rendition
  5. Sack that employee the Herman Cain way. Nuff said?
  6. Ouryay Iredfay!
    Fire them in Pig Latin.
  7. Don't fire those over-paid employees, shrink their paychecks instead. Install a slot machine in the lunchroom.
  8. Outsourcing is your friend. Transfer everyone to Kuala Lumpur.
  9. Organize an angry mob of small-government Tea Partiers.
  10. Cut out the middleman: just abolish township government.

Look for your LakeCountyEye -- where else -- in the unemployment line.


Anonymous said...

I vote for 7 & 10

Good Government Gone Bad said...

And then conspire with the supervisor and town board to continue to pay these new employees by asking them to pass a budget with their salaries in it. I realize that this blog is dedicated to switching subjects to save Yinglings backside. Yingling is certainly trying to downplay his involvement in this lawsuit with statements that he is horrified by the corruption. At the end of the day he was either an inept leader of Avon Township by allowing these people to get paid or he was part of the problem and therefor rightly a party to the lawsuit.

Anonymous said...

"It is exactly this type of behavior — feeding at the public trough for personal gain — that I oppose at my very core," Yingling said.

So Yingling has been the Supervisor for two and a half years. All of the sudden he is believes there is "feeding at the public trough"? For two and a half years he was clueless? For two and a half years he passed the budget to pay these folks and he never said a peep?

There is only one number that Yingling is concerned about, 62. As in his dying on the vine effort to become the next State Representative for the 62nd district.

Too Easy said...

While Glueckert will oversee the operations of the assessment process, the board voted 3-1 to transfer authority of assessor personnel and financing to the supervisor’s office during the interim period.
...Daily Herald Article 06/16/11

So when Carus resigned the board appointed an interim assessor and transferred all powers to hire, fire, and pay ALL THE ASSESSOR STAFF to Supervisor Yingling.

Sam, buddy, what have you been doing for the last 5 months? Are you really "opposed at your very core?"

Too Easy said...

According to the complaint, William Rust, Penelope Heckel and Dishman's brother, Michael, were told by Yingling on Dec. 30 they would be sacked. The suit contends Yingling lacked authority under state law to initiate assessor's office firings as township supervisor.

Yingling also had the assessor's office locks changed Dec. 30, according to the lawsuit.
...Daily Herald Article 01/08/10

Now I cannot claim to be the smartest researcher in the world. I take all my advice from the learned Barny Baxter. When he says that google is the cats meow I believe him.

The depositions from the lawsuit hopefully will be just as entertaining. It is always the holier than thou types that fall the hardest.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes a 30 year old needs to realize he doesn't know it all and sometimes a 30 year olds need to listen to those who have walked the path before him.

Too Easy said...

The above quote is ageless. 30 years from now there will be a bright up-and-comer that will sweep away the advise of those that have traveled the path before him.

Sam, if you cannot listen, you cannot lead.

It really is that simple.

Barney Baxter said...

hi Too Easy,

Anyone who takes all their advice from Barney Baxter gets what they pay for.


Too Easy said...

Barny...Unfortunately for Supervisor Yingling, your advice over the years about how easy it is to consult Google for op research is putting a nail in his proverbial coffin.

You could almost say it's Too Easy.

District116 said...

Too Easy wrote "Yingling also had the assessor's office locks changed Dec. 30, according to the lawsuit."

The problem is, he DIDN'T do it soon enough to stop township records from being wiped clean by individuals who GOT AWAY with it!

Too Easy said...

District 116...Thank you for lending your opinion that supports the case being made that Yingling was indeed responsible for changing the locks and therefore a party to the lawsuit. Is Halloween over because this is just... wait for it... Too Easy.