Monday, April 28, 2014

A Whopper

dog eat dogCall your LakeCountyEye Ishmael.

The fortunes of Lake County's other ex-Congressman, Robert Dold, have not sunk. Last year Dold created and is the sole employee of White Whale Consulting LLC, where he earned $75,000. Dold explained to the the Sun-Times that ...
White Whale had only a single client and only in 2013. The client was a for-profit firm not located in Illinois. Dold said he could not divulge the name of his client. So this brings us to the next question, what did Dold do as a consultant to earn $75,000 in 2013? Dold describes White Whale as a "general consulting company" on his disclosure statement. Dold said he provided "advice and counsel" and "strategic thinking" to his client in the area of "workforce readiness" and "STEM" or science, technology, engineering, and mathematics education.
Bob Dold's 'White Whale' consulting company
Your LakeCountyEye would like to know if White Whale Consulting LLC is hiring? Princess Nudelman is looking for a job.

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Hoist those sails.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

The Tea Party Genome

cowboys & indiansLake County has its knickers in a bunch. At least according to State Rep Ed Sullivan, a member of the Illinois House Exec Committee that voted to bring the Barack Obama Presidential Library to Chicago. Sullivan warns that the Library is a wedge issue, certain to divide the State of Illinois:
State Rep. Ed Sullivan (R-Mundelein), who is the Republican spokesman for the committee, explained what happened and why the committee will vote again next week in Springfield. The problem blew up when House Speaker Mike Madigan's spokesman Steve Brown blamed the row on "Tea Party genes."
State Rep. Sullivan says Democrats intend to use Obama Library as wedge issue
The aforementioned Tea Party gene, as readers of this blog are empirically aware ...
Reading the Tea Party Leaves
has been fully sequenced by scientists. However it is not known who carries the gene.

Do you have the Tea Party gene? To answer that question, your LakeCountyEye commissioned a study. Paid informants submitted DNA samples to the Lake County State's Attorney office, and -- licketysplit -- the results are already in. As it turns out, there are 10 indelible indicators that you have the Tea Party gene:
Ten Signs that You Might Carry the Tea Party Gene
  1. Even if there was a cure for the gene, you still wouldn't sign up for Obamacare.

  2. Joe Walsh is not a guitar player.

  3. You burned your draft Obama Presidential Library Card.

  4. Marriage should be between a man and a woman and daddy's shotgun.

  5. Vote Oberweis for US Senate
     Afterwards treat yourself at an Oberweis Dairy -- 33 locations near you!

  6. You graze your backyard chickens on Federal land.

  7. Ditto the medical marijuana.

  8. If English was good enough for Pre-Columbian Americans it's good enough for us.

  9. You will stand and recite the Pledge of Allegiance -- we know your name.

  10. Born and bred in Lake County!
Look for your LakeCountyEye nursing a Tazo Chai near you.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Reading the Tea Party Leaves

Fresh off his surprise come-from-behind victory over a more moderate, establishment Primary opponent, Ed Sullivan is publicly flaunting his Tea Party bona fides. As readers of this blog are hardly aware ...
The Library of Congress Pkwy?
the 51st District Representative is openly against spending any public funds on the Barack Obama Presidential Library. This despite the fact that a Sullivan family member is a librarian at the Fremont Public Library. At the risk of redundancy -- public libraries are, like their names imply, publicly funded.

Sullivan had originally voted in favor of funding the Presidential Library. This despite the fact that he was absent from the House committee meeting where the vote was cast. Ghost voting may be rare in Lake County, but not in Springfield!

As luck would have it, Sullivan will get another opportunity to vote, this time, against the Obama Presidential Library. According to the Sun-Times ...
Because of a controversy, an Illinois House committee will revote on April 30 a proposal to appropriate $100 million in state funds to help finance the construction of President Barack Obama's presidential library and museum in Chicago. "Some of our Republican friends decided to demonstrate their Tea Party gene because the word Obama was mentioned," said Steve Brown, spokesman for House Speaker Michael Madigan D-Chicago.
Do-over April 30 on Obama presidential library $100 million vote
In related news, scientists recently announced that they have sequenced the Tea Party gene:
It is unknown whether the Barack Obama Presidential Library will have a section for children's books.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Saving Cranes: Watchdogs of the Future -- Beacons of Hope

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy
Rich Beilfuss of the the International Crane Foundation, will discuss endangered cranes, their cultural significance, beauty, dramatic migrations, and striking behavior as opportunities for addressing broad approaches to conservation related to water supplies and wetlands in Africa, Asia, and the U.S.A. They will show development from the Zambezi River water authorities, the farmers of North Korea to sustainable water management in the Texas Guadalupe River Basin.
  • Sunday
    April 27, 2014
    2 PM
  • The Stevenson Center on Democracy
    25200 N St Mary's Rd
    Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
  • Coffee and conversation following
  • Cost $15

Saturday, April 19, 2014

The Library of Congress Pkwy?

slick willie Lake County is counting the days to the end of the Obama Presidency -- whereupon, in 2017, the doors will swing open at the Barack Obama Presidential Library. Bibliophiles eager to obtain borrowing privileges are lining up to apply for their library cards. Keen to begin construction on the proposed library, Springfield politicians are already manning their shovels.

A committee of the Illinois House voted unanimously this week to bring the Obama Presidential Library to Chicago. The verdict was unanimous despite the fact that Ed Sullivan -- the committee's minority spokesman -- was not present for the vote. The Northwest Herald reports that ...
At least one Republican lawmaker says he's filing a protest after an Illinois House committee recorded a 9-0 vote to commit $100 million to bring President Barack Obama's library to Chicago, even though only five Democrats – and none of the committee's four GOP members – were there. Rep. Ed Sullivan of Mundelein said he didn't attend Thursday's hearing because a vote was not expected. He told WBEZ radio and the Arlington Heights Daily Herald he would have voted no because he opposes using public funds for the library, which will house Obama's presidential records and artifacts.
GOP lawmaker objects to 9-0 vote for Obama library
Sullivan, who opposes spending public funds on a presidential library, apparently fell victim to the oldest political dirty trick in the book: Parliamentary Rules. Punk'd!

According to WBEZ ...
Rep. Ed Sullivan (R-Mundelein) was marked as voting yes on the measure, even though he did not attend Thursday's hearing and was working at his non-legislative job.
Nine Illinois lawmakers vote to fund Obama library - but only five members in attendance
Despite the fact that the voters of the 51st District expect Sullivan to be their fulltime Representative in Springfield, he is additionally employed as the Fremont Township assessor.

Moreover, sharp-eyed operatives will note that the Fremont Public Library also operates on public funds.

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Move along.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Flip, Flop, Repeat

Wastin' away again in Margaritaville.Not since the Jesse White Tumblers toured has your LakeCountyEye witnessed this much untethered flipflopping. At least not among politicians jockeying for a seat in the US Senate.

Operatives may recall that US Senate candidate Jim Oberweis sat out the last week of the March Primary at his Florida home. His opponent, Doug Truax, used the news leak to lampoon Oberweis -- according to the Sun-Times ...
in a mock postcard sending greetings from Florida that conjured images of a "Jimmy Buffet" Oberweis, slipping on flip flops and sipping pineapple concoctions poolside. Truax, 43, whose spokesman Dan Curry went to the emergency room after he was hit on the head with falling ice, called Oberweis arrogant and disconnected.
Jim Oberweis or Jimmy Buffett?
Long story short, Oberweis easily beat Truax in the Primary. (Also, Truax spokesman Dan Curry was not seriously injured.) But not long after the Primary, sitting US Senator Mark Kirk declined to campaign for fellow Republican Senate candidate Jim Oberweis. According to the Sun-Times ...
Sen. Mark Kirk, R-Ill., is ruling out campaigning for longshot GOP Illinois U.S. Senate nominee Jim Oberweis, saying Monday he would rather "protect" his relationship with Sen. Dick Durbin, D-Ill., and not launch a "partisan jihad."
Kirk to "protect" Durbin relationship, not stump for Oberweis
That was then. But this -- in flipflop years -- is now. According to the Sun-Times ...
After distancing himself from GOP Senate nominee Jim Oberweis last month — and saying he wanted to "preserve" his relationship with Sen. Dick Durbin, D-Ill., and not engage in a "partisan jihad" — Sen. Mark Kirk, R-Ill., in a switch said Wednesday he will campaign for Oberweis.
Why Kirk is now campaigning for Oberweis for U.S. Senate seat
Oberweis, understandably, should be tickled pink. His new spokesman, Dan Curry, was.  According to the Sun-Times ...
Oberweis' new spokesman Dan Curry said: "We welcome the support of any Illinoisian — elected official or otherwise — who joins us in bringing back jobs and prosperity to our state after so many years of decline."
Why Kirk is now campaigning for Oberweis for U.S. Senate seat
Note to ops: it's hard to keep a good man down. Despite being hit in the head with falling ice, it appears that Oberweis spokesman Dan Curry landed on his feet.

That's all your LakeCountyEye has, move along.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Water, Water, Everywhere

Whats a cubit? Lake County is flush with excitement. The antediluvian old North Shore Sanitary District is getting a whiz-bang new name. The News-Sun observed, last week ...
After 100 years of existence, the North Shore Sanitary District changed its name Thursday to North Shore Water Reclamation District.
North Shore Sanitary District adopts name change
So what's the scoop on the NSSD? For the latest poop, your LakeCountyEye looked up Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Rebranding Efforts at the College of Lake County.

"The North Shore Sanitary District." enunciated Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "That sounds like one of those tampon ads from the 50s. The name was way overdue for an extreme makeover -- it did not test well in our focus groups."

That seemed to imply Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi was involved in the rebranding process.

"Ya," he said, "the NSSD retained the services of my ad agency: No-Name Ad Agency. We surveyed a slew of new brand identifiers. I personally liked the North Shore Water Recycling District -- but it turned out to be a non-starter. It seems people do not like the idea of drinking recycled water. Can I get you a refill?"


"We also tested North Shore Water Retention District." continued Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "But that polled no better. I'm not exactly sure why about that one."

Cut back on the salt, maybe?

"We even looked for a corporate sponsor." offered Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "But the big players weren't interested. Don't expect to see a North Shore Ty-D-Bol District any time soon."

That was a relief.

"Out of desperation," sighed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "we trotted out that old trick every ad company has up its sleeve: steal someone else's idea. Let's just say we borrowed the name from the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District. Why mess with success?"

The Metropolitan Water Reclamation District is Cook County's wastewater management agency. Was it expensive to obtain licensing privileges to use their name?

Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi held a finger close to his lips. "What the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District doesn't know won't hurt them."

Your LakeCountyEye's lips were sealed. Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your operatives that we also secured the trademark to the South Lake Mosquito Reclamation District. Make us an offer!"

Friday, April 11, 2014

Joint Chiefs

The Hooverville World Guardian No sooner had this blog declared that Lake County has produced not a single millionaire hip-hop gangsta rap artist to call its own ...
Forewarned is Forearmed
than rapper Chief Keef proved your LakeCountyEye wrong. The critically acclaimed entertainer, according the News-Sun, was pulled over last month in Highland Park:
rapper Chief Keef pleaded not guilty in a Lake County misdemeanor courtroom Friday to charges of driving under the influence of marijuana in Highland Park.
Rapper Chief Keef pleads not guilty to drug charge
Sharpeyed operatives will observe that Keef is urban slang for hashish:
Perhaps not coincidentally, local entrepreneurs want to open a marijuana clinic in Deerfield (which abuts Highland Park to the south). The Sun-Times said ...
While Deerfield officials still have zoning questions about a potential medical marijuana dispensary in town, a local compound pharmacist wants to open one in the village.
Pharmacists eye Deerfield for medical marijuana clinic
The News-Sun also noted that Deerfield allows its residents to raise backyard chickens:
The Deerfield Village Board voted 6-1 Feb. 3 to allow residents to keep up to four hens on single-family property and institute an annual inspection process
Deerfield trustees vote to allow backyard chickens
It is unknown whether any County & Western musicians have been arrested in Highland Park.

That's all your LakeCountyEye has, move along.

Monday, April 7, 2014

I Photoshopped the Sheriff

Overheard at a Lake County 'L' Stop:
Commuter #1: Do you have any derogatory photos of Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran?
Commuter #2: Certainly not!
Commuter #1: Do you want to buy some?
police mugshot Haha, operatives seeking more jokes at the expense of the Lake County Sheriff's Department need look no further than the Lake County Sheriff's Department. Or, for that matter, the Chicago Tribune:
A hearing to determine whether a Lake County sheriff's lieutenant will keep his job has provided an unfiltered glimpse into the police agency, which some employees described as a hostile workplace sullied by political infighting, preferential treatment and a crude frat-boy culture.
Lewd jokes part of job, Lake County deputy says
A recent Lake County Sheriff's Department internal investigation -- one that uncovered doctored images of Sheriff Mark Curran -- spilled over into the public airwaves with predictable results. The Chicago Tribune broke the front-page story Monday morning, with the News-Sun & the Daily Herald scrambling to catch up. By Monday afternoon the News-Sun had published its version:
A Lake County Merit Commission hearing concerning the Lake County Sheriff's Office attempt to fire a lieutenant revealed that lewd pictures and jokes were passed around through emails along with derogatory names for supervisors, but the lieutenant maintained it was common practice for years.
Deputy says crude comments were a 'stress reliever'
Your LakeCountyEye is still waiting for the Daily Herald to weigh in. It is unknown if any of the Lake County political blogs will take notice. Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised as the situation warrants.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Prickly Cities

Those attending an Island Lake village board meeting may be relieved to know that a part-time Island Lake police officer is being paid to chaperone. The Mayor of Island Lake justified the expense by telling the Daily Herald that the practice is common:
extra officers have attended board meetings for several years to keep the peace. Audience members and trustees occasionally have become unruly during discussions.
Politically connected cop paid to attend Island Lake meetings
For the record, the official motto of Island Lake is ...
A Community of Friendly People
Haha, your LakeCountyEye never gets tired of that joke.

Wauconda, another Lake County village, has a more trendy-sounding town motto:
Water • Spirit • Wonder
In 2012 Wauconda voters OKed a $41 million referendum to obtain their water from Lake Michigan. According to their website, Wauconda currently draws its drinking water from municipal wells. Urban planners warn that Lake County's growing population means its groundwater aquifers are steadily diminishing in quantity and quality. This may be why Wauconda is eager to become a member of the Central Lake County Joint Action Water Agency, and tap into the Agency's safe and reliable supply of Lake Michigan water.

Some cold water, however, has been thrown on what could be a good deal for Wauconda residents. There may be some bad blood boiling between CLCJAWA and Wauconda's village leaders. According to the Daily Herald ...
To join the agency that provides drinking water to a dozen Lake County communities, Wauconda officials will have to select a representative other than Mayor Frank Bart, the leader of the group's board said Friday. "I don't think anyone would want the mayor to sit at our table right now," said Rich Hill, chairman of the Central Lake County Joint Action Water Agency board. "With him being involved, it's still an issue."
Water agency leader says panel doesn't want to work with Wauconda mayor
To publicly blackball a sitting Mayor like that is extreme by any standard. Your LakeCountyEye suspects the CLCJAWA board may have instead been better served to hire a part-time police officer to attend their meetings. Just sayin!

Your LakeCountyEye observes that Island Lake and Wauconda both sit virtually side-by-side on the Lake County map:
Note to ops: If you're ever in the Island Lake / Wauconda area, don't drink the water.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

The Revised Bible

count your blessings Operatives drafting their November campaign plans really need to remember only two things. Run against taxes. And run in favor of God. Peter Roskam, rumored Lake County Congressman, is a master of the craft. In a press release reproduced by the Suburban Life Media, Roskam asks ...
Did you know that our tax code is over four million words long, or more than 10 times the size of the Bible?
Roskam: Helpful tips for preparing your taxes
Roskam's lede is devilishly clever in all respects, except one. His math is wrong. As readers of this blog are unaccountably aware ...
Biblical Proportions
Roskam's numbers are off by a factor of 100%. The US tax code, in fact, is 5 times the size of the Bible -- not the 10 times claimed by Congressman Roskam.

Note to operatives at Team Roskam: your LakeCountyEye offers fast and accurate fact checking services. Call today for a rate card.

Until then, there are other lengthy tomes (with known word-counts) that compare just as unfavorably against the US tax code. Congressman Roskam is free to use any of these in future jeremiads against the IRS. There are ten by your LakeCountyEye's reckoning:
Congressman Peter Roskam's Ten Best Reads
Much Shorter than the US Tax Code
The word count of the IRS tax code is more than ...
  1. 38 times Fifty Shades of Gray
  2. 70 times the Kama Sutra
  3. 50 times the Quran
  4. 10 times the Affordable Care Act
  5. 15,000 times the Gettysburg Address
  6. 11,500 times Stairway to Heaven
  7. 1,000,000 times than "RED LIGHT PHOTO ENFORCED"
  8. has more Gross Incomes than a Lady Gaga World Tour
  9. 12,000 times Green Eggs and Ham
  10. half the length of an average LakeCountyEye Top Ten List
Look for your LakeCountyEye counting angels on the head of a pin near you.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Biblical Proportions

Not to be confused with Qubit or Q*bert. There are few things the voters of Lake County hate more than doing their federal income taxes. The unequivocal proof comes from ostensible Lake County Congressman, Peter Roskam -- in the form of some helpful tips for preparing your taxes, courtesy a press release from Peter Roskam, and reproduced verbatim by the Suburban Life Media ...
Did you know that our tax code is over four million words long, or more than 10 times the size of the Bible?
Roskam: Helpful tips for preparing your taxes
This particular factoid was news to your LakeCountyEye, never having actually done a word count on the Good Book. Is the IRS tax code really 10 times longer than the Bible? The good news is math problems such as these are easily verifiable with a quick Google search -- which reveals that the King James Version of the Bible clocks in at 788,280 words:
King James Bible Quick Facts
Some higher math yields ...
4,000,000 words
(IRS Tax Code)
÷788,280 words
(KJV Bible)
≈  5
Sharpeyed operatives will instantly observe that Peter Roskam's aforementioned 10X is much different than the calculated 5X. A difference of 100%, to be exact. It would appear instead that the US tax code is just 5 times longer than the Bible.

Haha, has someone just been caught red-handed cooking the Good Book? Your LakeCountyEye suspects that if Peter Roskam were made to swear on a stack of Bibles, he would only admit his staff made an actuarial mistake.

It may be no coincidence that Congressman Roskam already knows a thing or two about botched numbers. Roskam recently sponsored a House Bill to create a watchdog Inspector General office to audit ObamaCare:
Three dozen House Republicans on Thursday proposed a bill that would create a special inspector general to monitor the implementation of ObamaCare. Chief Deputy Whip Peter Roskam (R-Ill.) proposed the bill to ensure proper monitoring of the law and accused the Obama administration of keeping implementation data secret.
Republicans push for new IG to monitor ObamaCare
Roskam said in a press release that ...
Congressional oversight of the law has been dogged, but the administration has repeatedly stonewalled investigators and been less than forthcoming with the public.
Hopefully, Roskam's Inspector General Watchdog would be better at math than he is.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Forewarned is Forearmed

A knight without armor in a savage land. Unlike some neighboring counties, Lake County cannot boast ever having produced a single millionaire hip-hop gangsta rap artist. Yet in spite of this unenviable statistic, Lake County has easily produced more than its share of armed bodyguards.

Unimpeachable statistics indicate that Lake County has more bodyguards per capita than a Las Vegas Club DJ. And it seems like they can be found on a given night at any Lake County local government open public meeting.

Haha, things would at least appear that way to anyone who has attended an Island Lake village board meeting lately. According to the Daily Herald ...
A politically connected, part-time Island Lake police officer is being paid to attend village board meetings twice a month, prompting a dispute about the expense among officials.
Politically connected cop paid to attend Island Lake meetings
On top of that, one trustee of the Warren-Newport Library board even wanted the library to pay for his private security detail. The Daily Herald said this trustee ...
tried to get trustees to approve paying a private security company that worked at the session. Officials said a Gurnee police officer, four Warren-Newport library security guards and two employees from Waukegan-based Tactical Security LLC attended the meeting.
Trustee fails in effort to sideline boss at Gurnee's Warren-Newport library
What's the dealio? One local-government elected official spoke to your LakeCountyEye on condition he would disguise his identity with a ski-mask. Or a nylon stocking. "Elected officials everywhere are on pins and needles. By law firearms are not allowed on government premises, but meetings are open to the public. Now that restrictions on concealed carry have been eliminated, who knows which of the goober eaters sitting in the back row are packing heat? My wife wants to buy me Kevlar® underwear and expense it to my board."

Note to ops: Private security is a growth industry in Lake County. Illinois has more units of local government than any other state, and this is your chance to get in on the ground floor. But don't take it from your LakeCountyEye, take it instead from the NRA: The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

April Fool

Cal Skinner Jr
It never ceases to surprise your LakeCountyEye that the MSM ignores the founder of the McHenry County College, a non-religious, secular community college and workplace for hundreds of public sector employees paid for at taxpayer expense.

It was founded by Cal Skinner Jr's father, Cal Skinner Sr.

In 1943 the Illinois General Assembly enacted legislation to allow referenda to establish tax rates for both education and building funds to support junior college operations. With the passage of a referendum in 1967, the McHenry County College was the 28th community college established in Illinois.

Cal Skinner Sr, not known to be a progressive, almost derailed the Regional Transportation Authority in 1974. Nevertheless he spearheaded the successful campaign to create a community college in McHenry County, and all at the public's expense.

It is difficult to comprehend how Skinner would could possibly have thought that it would be a good idea to establishment a big-government entity that would some day command a $50 million annual operating budget.

Articles about this follow:

Paul Simon Family Escapes Unscathed from Sponsorship of Unconstitutional Law

A Critique of McHenry County College's $42 Expansion Plan

More Evidence McHenry County College Not Dedicated to Transparency

Mr. Cal Skinner addressed the Board. He asked why the management letter was not posted on the website with the meeting agenda. Mr. Parrish stated that the management letter is not public, after which Mr. Skinner expressed his displeasure.
Minutes Special Board Meeting of McHenry County College
Taxes and Administrative Salaries on Tap for McHenry County College Board Meeting Thursday Night

MCC Salaries for Administrators and Faculty