Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Water, Water, Everywhere

Whats a cubit? Lake County is flush with excitement. The antediluvian old North Shore Sanitary District is getting a whiz-bang new name. The News-Sun observed, last week ...
After 100 years of existence, the North Shore Sanitary District changed its name Thursday to North Shore Water Reclamation District.
North Shore Sanitary District adopts name change
So what's the scoop on the NSSD? For the latest poop, your LakeCountyEye looked up Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Rebranding Efforts at the College of Lake County.

"The North Shore Sanitary District." enunciated Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "That sounds like one of those tampon ads from the 50s. The name was way overdue for an extreme makeover -- it did not test well in our focus groups."

That seemed to imply Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi was involved in the rebranding process.

"Ya," he said, "the NSSD retained the services of my ad agency: No-Name Ad Agency. We surveyed a slew of new brand identifiers. I personally liked the North Shore Water Recycling District -- but it turned out to be a non-starter. It seems people do not like the idea of drinking recycled water. Can I get you a refill?"


"We also tested North Shore Water Retention District." continued Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "But that polled no better. I'm not exactly sure why about that one."

Cut back on the salt, maybe?

"We even looked for a corporate sponsor." offered Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "But the big players weren't interested. Don't expect to see a North Shore Ty-D-Bol District any time soon."

That was a relief.

"Out of desperation," sighed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "we trotted out that old trick every ad company has up its sleeve: steal someone else's idea. Let's just say we borrowed the name from the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District. Why mess with success?"

The Metropolitan Water Reclamation District is Cook County's wastewater management agency. Was it expensive to obtain licensing privileges to use their name?

Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi held a finger close to his lips. "What the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District doesn't know won't hurt them."

Your LakeCountyEye's lips were sealed. Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your operatives that we also secured the trademark to the South Lake Mosquito Reclamation District. Make us an offer!"

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