Saturday, April 30, 2016

Another McHenry County Schnook Shoots Self in Foot

el gato Those familiar with the rule of three may want to discharge their weapons in Lake County. A year ago in McHenry County, two people shot themselves in the foot:
My Foot!
And now, last week (perhaps unable to get a leg up) two people in McHenry County shot themselves in the hand.

The Northwest Herald said ...
A 74-year-old McHenry-area man was taken to the hospital Wednesday after he accidentally shot himself in the hand, police said. The man was taking apart his 9 mm handgun when the gun went off
McHenry-area man shoots himself in hand taking apart gun
In a separate incident ...
The man who accidentally shot himself in the hand over the weekend was assisting in instructing a concealed carry course, police said Monday.
Man who shot himself in Woodstock was assisting concealed carry class, police say
Note to Ops: They may take away your gun only when they pry it from from your cold dead hands. But you make it difficult if you've shot them off.

Just Sayin!

Thursday, April 28, 2016

The Clown Prince

It's the land unknown to man, where fantasy is fact. Operatives who purchased tickets to see Prince may be eligible for a refund. The deceased rock'n'roll icon will not be headlining the Waukegan music festival this summer. The News-Sun is saying:
Prince in Waukegan? That was the rumor. Whether or not there was any substance to that backroom chatter was rendered pointless by events on Thursday.
Despite chatter, and hope, Prince wasn't booked for Waukegan
With Prince's unexpected death, Ted Nugent becomes (again) the rumored headliner at the Waukegan music festival. The not-deceased rock'n'roll icon Nugent told one media outlet that ...
"I think Prince and I were musical blood brothers."
Central Texas rocker Ted Nugent calls Prince "musical blood brother"
One rumor can be completely dismissed.  Knowledgeable sources agree that if Nugent is booked to play in Waukegan, he will not perform in blackface.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Monday, April 25, 2016

Second Banana?

Chuck Norris FIRES Donald Trump. GOP delegates will not be able to bum a ride off of Mark Kirk. Lake County's single US Senator is not attending the Republican Convention. According to BuzzFeed ...
Republican Sen. Mark Kirk of Illinois isn't touching the coming Republican convention with a 10-foot pole. "I've got to really do my hair that week," Kirk said on ROE CONN on WGN radio when asked about his plans to skip the convention. "Make sure that my hair is just perfect."
Mark Kirk On GOP Convention: "I've Got To Really Do My Hair That Week"
For the lowdown on the impending Mark Kirk noshow, your LakeCountyEye asked Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Dean of Cosmetology at the College of Lake County.

"Ya," said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "Senator Mark Kirk is sending his Party bosses a clear signal. He wants to be their candidate for Vice President."

Your LakeCountyEye had not expected to hear that. Didn't Kirk say he would boycott the Convention?

"Absolutely." replied Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "But you boycott a Convention by staying home. You don't do it by telling everyone that you will boycott the Convention. That's like when [US Speaker of the House] Paul Ryan told everyone he would not be a candidate for President."

Thus signaling that he could be a candidate for President?

"No flies on you today." chuckled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi.

Who was Kirk sending a signal to?

"Donald Trump, of course." sighed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Who else spends hours on his hair to make sure it is just perfect?"

Your LakeCountyEye had to concede the point.

"A Trump-Kirk ticket would be just what the doctor ordered." continued Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Rule #1 is do no harm. A gaffe-prone running mate can sink a presidential campaign faster than you can say youbetcha. Who would be better-suited than a Mark Kirk?"

Your LakeCountyEye noted that Kirk once called Lindsey Graham a Bro with No Ho.

"Exactly." countered Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Kirk would add balance to a lopsided Trump-for-President campaign. A candidate for President needs to acts presidential. So you find a suitable running mate to hurl gratuitous insults at your opponent. Can you name one attack dog any meaner than Mark Kirk?"

Your LakeCountyEye could not.

Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi was getting excited. "Mark Kirk would deliver Illinois to Trump on a silver platter. And after Trump is elected he sends Kirk to the Vice-President's home where everyone can forget about him. This is a no-brainer."

Your LakeCountyEye heard enough. Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your operatives at the Republican Convention not to vote for anyone who hasn't drafted Mark Kirk to be his Vice President!"

Thursday, April 21, 2016

100% Grass Fed

Pwned! Honorary Lake County millionaire citizen legislator, Jim Oberweis, wants to legalize marijuana. The Daily Herald said ...
Lawmakers' move this week toward decriminalizing possession of small amounts of marijuana in Illinois was done with a handful of Republican supporters. Among them: state Sen. Jim Oberweis, a Sugar Grove Republican who voted against a previous version of the plan last year but is in favor of Illinois' law to legalize medical marijuana in 2013.
New marijuana plan finds support from Oberweis
Note to Ops: When munchies attack, nothing satisfies quite like a triple-deck ice cream pie or cake. Check out the Banana Split Ice Cream Pie at an Oberweis Dairy near you.

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Smoke'em if you got'em.

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Close to the Bone for Government Work

Get dressed. Get blessed. Try to be a suckcess. Q: What do these two jobs have in common?
  • Illinois Lieutenant Governor
  • Daily Herald headline writer
A: To make Governor Rauner look good?

Nope, that is incorrect. The correct answer, of course, is neither job is worth a warm bucket of spit.

Haha, David McSweeney (Lake County's disruptive innovator in the Illinois legislature) wants to abolish the office of Lieutenant Governor. And according to the Daily Herald ....
Republican Lt. Gov. Evelyn Sanguinetti of Wheaton has been pushing for slimming down government, so what does she think about the idea of getting rid of her office? "All consolidation, from local townships to constitutional offices, like mine, should be considered," she said in a statement.
Lieutenant governor: Yeah, consider cutting my office
Sharpeyed operatives may note that the link above does not actually point to the Daily Herald. The link instead goes to a headline clipping service hosted by the Illinois Policy Institute. The actual Daily Herald story is at ...
Getting rid of the lieutenant governor's office could save $1.6 million a year, says state Rep. David McSweeney, who started the idea moving this week in the General Assembly.
Problem with cutting lt. governor's office: Cost of mailing
The Daily Herald story did not change, but the headline did. At some time after the story was first published (April 14), its headline morphed from a brassy ...
Lieutenant governor: Yeah, consider cutting my office
... into this fussbudgety replacement:
Problem with cutting lt. governor's office: Cost of mailing
Do not be surprised if the headline changes again, to ...
Headline Writer Wanted: No Impertinence Necessary
Lieutenant Governor Evelyn Sanguinetti, who could become unemployed soon, might want to apply for that job. She may not have all of the qualifications, but your LakeCountyEye suspects that Sanguinetti knows who to call at the Daily Herald.

Friday, April 15, 2016

They're Not Booing They're Chanting Loootenant

McJobs Lake County State Rep & Agent of Change, David McSweeney, says he wants to bring jobs to Illinois. But one bill he sponsored in Springfield will do just the opposite. McSweeney wants to eliminate the job of Illinois Lieutenant Governor. According to the Daily Herald:
Getting rid of the lieutenant governor's office could save $1.6 million a year, says state Rep. David McSweeney, who started the idea moving this week in the General Assembly.
Problem with cutting lt. governor's office: Cost of mailing
The plan, however, would require a Constitutional Amendment, which do not come cheap:
Anytime an amendment goes on the ballot, the law says Secretary of State Jesse White has to mail the text of the amendment to voters in advance. In 2014, mailing the text of two proposed amendments cost $2.4 million.
Problem with cutting lt. governor's office: Cost of mailing
When told that McSweeney's bill could result in an $800,000 net loss, a spokesman said: "Why do we need to notify the voters by sending them expensive snail mail? We can just post an online petition instead. Like they did to permit firearms at the Republican Convention."
Allow Open Carry of Firearms at the Quicken Loans Arena
during the RNC Convention in July.
To date, McSweeney has not sponsored a bill to eliminate the Illinois Governor's office as well. Experts, however, estimate that firing both the Governor and the Lieutenant Governor could potentially save the State of Illinois billions.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Monday, April 11, 2016

Trump l'Orange

Lake County Delegates who will be fleeing to Cleveland ahead of the Zika virus this summer, may be able to hitch a ride to the GOP convention with one candidate for President. According to the Daily Herald ...
So, you want to be a delegate to the Republican National Convention? You could have a rare opportunity to help make history, if none of the Republican presidential candidates reaches the target 1,237 delegates needed to clinch the nomination on the first ballot. And maybe - just maybe - billionaire businessman Donald Trump will take you for a spin on Trump Force One.
Want to be a delegate to the GOP convention? It's not easy
Here is a list of high-profile Republican delegates from Lake County, with their election numbers:

Delegate to the National Nominating Convention (REP)
Lake County -- MARCH 15, 2016 GENERAL PRIMARY
Cook County, DuPage County and even McHenry County are sending delegates to the Convention. However, your LakeCountyEye observes a lot Bush's and Rubio's and Kasich's on the Lake County delegate list -- losers -- so don't expect to bump into any of these people on Hair Force Trump.

However, one notable nominee from Lake County, who never hid her true colors, is expected be a Trump delegate at the Republican Convention:

Donald Trump

Princess Nudelman
Orange you glad this is another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™?
A spokesman says Ms Nudelman is always eager to support anyone who is underwater with the voters.

Thursday, April 7, 2016

Dirty Ballots

Aaron Lawlor, the Lake County Board Chair, has a new dirty job. He is now working for the new Lake County Clerk, Carla Wyckoff. For the lowdown, go to the Lake County website ...
Lake County processed 180,000 voters for the March 15 Primary election – a record turnout. While all the ballots have been cast, the Lake County Clerk's Office still has much work to do. Watch this edition of Lake County's Dirty Jobs where Chairman Aaron Lawlor helps in the clean-up process of the 122 Lake County polling places.

Lake County’s Dirty Jobs: Post Election Cleanup
Lawlor, who has been a candidate on every every Lake County ballot since 2003 (and is a candidate on the November ballot) could be expected to know a thing or two about counting votes. Here, Lawlor volunteers to police some voting equipment, while confessing to the County Clerk that the task is ...
one of the most complicated jobs I've ever seen in County government because there are so many moving parts, so many statutes, and all sorts of things.

Your LakeCountyEye looked up some of those statutes. And not just anyone is permitted to tally ballots in Illinois. Did you know that an election worker must ...
  • be a citizen of the United States and entitled to vote at the next election
  • be of good repute and character
  • be able to speak, read and write the English language
  • be skilled in the four fundamental rules of arithmetic
  • not be a candidate for any office at the election
Note to Ops: four out of five isn't bad, even with the five-fingered discount.

Here Lawlor shuffles some loose documents atop one voting machine:
All the while, there is more to this job than sweeping up. Equipment needs to be moved:
And with so many moving parts ...
... be careful that something isn't misplaced!

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Mulberry Child: From China's Cultural Revolution to Chicago

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy
Author Jian Ping will talk about her family's story of surviving the chaos and persecution during China's Cultural Revolution, as revealed in her memoir Mulberry Child. The book has been turned into an award-winning documentary film and was broadcast on PBS.
  • Sunday
    April 10, 2016
    2:00 pm
  • The Stevenson Center on Democracy
    25200 N St Mary's Rd
    Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
    773- 281-0378
  • $15
    No Charge for Students
  • Coffee and Conversation Afterwards

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Three are Better than Two

The voters in the 10th District cannot make up their minds whether to send a Democrat or a Republican to Congress. And this uncertainty factor may increase by 50%, this year, as a 3rd Party candidate hopes to be on the ballot in the 10th District:
The Aquarian Agrarian
A press release that was sent out says Joe Kopsick will need some 10,000 petition signatures (as of June 27) to be on the ballot in November.

For the record, more than 150,000 votes were cast in the March Primary for 10th District candidates. None of these voters will be eligible to sign a nominating petition for Kopsick. Your LakeCountyEye hazards to guess that the Kopsick campaign may have their work cut out for them. Especially considering that Kopsick is running under the banner of the Absurdist Party. / ILLINOIS
Note to Ops: If you are running a 3rd party insurgency campaign and you need 10,000 signatures on short notice, it may behoove you to give your new party a sensible name ... like the Sensible Party, maybe. Just sayin'!

Saturday, April 2, 2016

The Motley Fool

Those Lake County voters who live in Wisconsin will cast their Primary ballots for President next Tuesday. Within Lake County, however, the Primary numbers are in, and they are not even close:
  • Hillary Clinton : 50,271
  • Donald J. Trump : 30,952
Lake County -- MARCH 15, 2016 GENERAL PRIMARY
Hillary Clinton is officially the President of Lake County -- by a landslide.

This fact was not lost on Lake County favorite son and former teen idol, Ted Nugent. On Friday, Nugent endorsed Hillary Clinton for President on his Facebook page:
(Operatives can click Ted Nugent's Facebook page and verify the post's authenticity:
Ted Nugent / Facebook
For the record, Facebook is a virtual senior center where the elderly go to exchange photos of the grandkids and Internet cats.)

The promoters of a summer music festival planned for Waukegan had declined to book the Medicare-eligible Nugent -- to make room for fresher acts. Your LakeCountyEye has heard that Seattle rapper Macklemore may headline the event.

A spokesperson says that Ted Nugent hopes to increase his street-cred and appeal to younger music lovers, by endorsing Clinton.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.