Monday, January 24, 2022

Less-Than Signs

Your LakeCountyEye has spotted an important new trend. Two years ago there was a primary election, and 2022 will have a primary election as well.

And if that don't beat all, Lake County favorite son Mark Curran will be on your primary ballot again. Curran wants to be your next Illinois Supreme Court Justice.

Curran's opponents have outraised him in the last quarter by a factor of fifty-to-one:

But perennial candidates like Mark Curran have something better than money: ballot name recognition.  His 2020 yardsigns have been seen by motorists up and down the state:
And there is an election life-hack that is exclusively available to perennnial candidates. Candidates shouldn't throw away old campaign material. These can be repurposed instead:
No one else will be any wiser, while you save 98 cents on the dollar!

Wednesday, January 19, 2022

Some Additional Shipping Fees

What are the two happiest days in a boater's life? When he buys his boat and when he sells the boat.

The moral of the story? Never rent a boat.

HaHa, the Village of Third Lake does not want you renting any boats either. Because they do not know how to tax you:
Note to Ops: If you do rent a boat on Third Lake make sure it is equipped with a radar detector. Just sayin!

Friday, January 14, 2022

Get Rich Quick

Like Port Barrington, which has no port, the new casino in Waukegan has no casino:
Designs for Full House Resorts' temporary American Place casino in Waukegan are proceeding, as the company continues on its path to open its initial gaming establishment in July ahead of a permanent resort in approximately two years.
Plans coming together for July opening of temporary Waukegan casino, initial hiring of 'hundreds of people'
With no one able to wait for a real casino built in Waukegan, a quick-and-dirty short-term bivouac will be fabricated, and put on-line for at least the foreseeable future:
the temporary casino will be approximately 65,000 square feet. Sprung Structures will build the facility quickly with an aluminum frame and membrane covering. "It's like a high-tension tent"
Plans coming together for July opening of temporary Waukegan casino, initial hiring of 'hundreds of people'
How does a pop-up gambling den square-up with current Illinois law? Men from the Gambling Commission were on-hand explain it all for you:

Oldest Established Permanent Floating Crap Game
Gambling problem?
Dial: 1-800-522-4700

Monday, January 10, 2022

An Ounce of Prevention is Worth a Pound of Cure

Playing against type, the McHenryCountyBlog is uncowed. They are uncowed by the risks of COVID -- believing that Cook County vaccination mandates will directly benefit businesses in McHenry County:
If you go there to escape the tyranny of being vaccinated, however, don't try to book a room in a McHenry County hospital:
The number of people admitted to the hospital with COVID-19 hit a pandemic record during the last week of December
McHenry County hospital admissions at record level for COVID-19
Rise in virus cases puts pressure on local hospital systems
While the McHenry County hospitals are full, it is unknown if the same goes for the McHenry County bughouse. The dogmatic theocrats at the McHenryCountyBlog might know.

Thursday, January 6, 2022

The Barmy of Avon

Take a pillax.
Public health officials have issued a warning alert for Avon Township. Residents there are being asked to refrain from discharging their firearms into the ground. It would appear that Avon Township is accumulating too much lead in its groundwater.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Tuesday, January 4, 2022

Dressed to Swill?

Does that ugly sweater from your significant Santa make all the sugar-plums want to scatter? Next year give each of your gift-providers a ...
Lake County Gazette Christmas Gift Guide:
Top Beer Gifts
For the record, your LakeCountyEye drinks a size 4 IPA, off the rack.

Bonus Fact: Content for the Lake County Gazette (Lake County's #1 fakenews source) is provided by Russian misinformation bots.