Chicago Tribute Band

Sounds of Summer – Chicago Tribute Band

The Rich are Different from You and Me

Dust off your slide rules, today's pop quiz will test your math skills.

Q: A billion here and a billion there and pretty soon you're talking what?

A: Two billion.

HaHa, honorary Lake County Republican and US Rep Darin LaHood said this somewhere, to someone:

"If Governor Pritzker didn't have a billion dollars, he wouldn't be in office right now."
Illinois GOP delegation confident of Trump win

He was then asked: If Donald Trump didn't have a billion dollars, would he be running for office right now? Then someone, somewhere else said: "You're pushing a false equivalency. That grifter Trump doesn't have even two nickels to call his own."

The Jabberwocky in Milwaukee

That giant sucking sound you heard came from all of the Lake County Trump delegates going north over border. The GOP national convention this year is in Milwaukee, that horrible city^®.

Lake County GOP favorite son Mark Shaw said:

"as (former President) Ronald Reagan asked, we'll say, 'Are you better off than you were four years ago?'"
Lake County delegates looking forward to again nominating Trump at GOP convention

Then Lake County GOP favorite son Craig Wilcox said:

"Most people know they were in a much better place 3½ years ago than they are today."
Lake County delegates looking forward to again nominating Trump at GOP convention

In related news: Are you experiencing brain-fog? That may be a symptom of Long COVID. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat old predictable slogans.

More Guns

When is the next Lake County gun raffle? August 8, which is just around the corner:

"Do your part to help preserve your Second Amendment Rights."

Taylor Dance Party

Sounds of Summer – Taylor Dance Party

Trouble Tickets

The Lake County Gazette says to read the fine print on your concert tickets, they could be fakes:

The press release is from IL Attorney General Kwame Raoul, and ordinarily that's his photo beneath the headline. However, sharpeyed operatives may actually recognize backbench State Representative Martin McLaughlin.

What gives? Is Martin McLaughlin a ticket scalper? If so, he is not wearing his trenchcoat in the picture. With ticket stubs pinned to the lining. In fact there is no mention of McLaughlin in the article. Or anyone named Martin, for that matter.

No, it is quite likely that Martin McLaughlin has never scalped a ticket in his life. More likely the Lake County Gazette (Lake County's #1 gift to comedy) has sold you another bill of goods.

The Bombs Bursting in Air

Question of the day:  In Canada, when is the Fourth of July?

Answer: The First of July.

Lake County will not be watching any fireworks on Canadian Independence Day. The Canadian National exploding bomb train derailed in Matteson:

A train derailed in at an Illinois village on Thursday, promoting an investigation and temporary evacuations in the area. According to local news, the incident happened in Matteson, about 30 miles from Chicago, and involved a train from the Canadian National Railway Company.
Train derails at Illinois village; resident evacuation lifted

One self-described industry watchdog said: "The bomb trains should be operating again by the Fourth. Bring the kiddos!"

Joint Return

Note to bounty hunters: Now that marijuana is legal, you should have guessed that Chief Keef would be back in Illinois:

Thousands gathered this year for the Lyrical Lemonade Summer Smash Festival at SeatGeek Stadium in Bridgeview, just outside of Chicago. Every year this festival brings to town some of the hottest talent in hip-hop. But this year was special for the hometown crowd as the legendary, mythical Chicago artist Chief Keef was slated to headline the final night of the festival. Chief Keef has essentially been living in exile from his hometown for the past twelve years, due to a mixture of legal issues and a general fear that his presence may result in violence.
The Show Must Go On
Chief Keef performs in Chicagoland for the first time in twelve years despite severe weather.

For the record, Chief Keef is a supporter of Donald Trump:

13 Rappers Who Are Still Supporting Donald Trump

Mr Keef has not been the only Lake County GOP favorite son spotted this month. Lake County GOP favorite son Louis Atsaves was seen at the Illinois Republican Party Convention in Collinsville:

Bring Me the Head of ...

Coming up tomorrow: Who was spotted at Lake County GOP potluck picnic & gun raffle? Yet another Lake County GOP favorite son, Ted Nugent. Nugent shared the trophy for the three-legged race.

Sounds of Summer – Radio Gaga

Sounds of Summer – Radio Gaga

The Brink of Disaster

Good news!  Your LakeCountyEye has just been appointed to be a delegate at the Illinois Republican Party Convention. WooHoo, this means an all expenses paid free vacation in sunny Collinsville. Illinois. (Fun fact, Collinsville is a suburb of sunny St Louis. Missouri.)

Details are here ...

Keith Brin Letter to IL GOP County Chairs June 10 2024

Note to Ops: When you receive your copy of the letter, you must absolutely make sure to forward a copy immediately to the name on the top of the list. If you break the chain, then no one will be named a delegate to Illinois Republican Party Convention.

Bring Me the Head of ...

Question of the Day: Who is the Chairman of the Lake County Republican Party?

Answer: Nobody knows.

But everybody knows Mark Shaw, the the former Lake County GOP Chairman. Along with being on the Trump campaign payroll, Shaw is the Vice Chairman of the Illinois State Republican Party. Shaw is no longer the Vice Chairman of the Illinois State Republican Party:

Illinois Republican Leaders Oust Vice Chair Mark Shaw Over 'Trans Delegate' Scandal

Seizing the inevitable, Mark Shaw published a 10-page airing of grievances in his defense:

MARK L. SHAW RESPONDS

Spoiler alert, LakeCountyEye favorite son Louis Atsaves makes a cameo appearance on page 3.

Playing All the Anglers

There is an old saying in Lake County: Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he's going to want to buy a new boat.

The Lake County Gazette (Lake County's #1 fakenews source) says there is free fishing in Lake County over the holiday weekend:

Sharpeyed operatives will recognize the photo of backbench State Rep Martin McLaughlin. If McLaughlin is an angler, he is not wearing his hip waders in the picture. Or for that matter, his fishing hat with lures attached to the brim. In fact there is no mention of McLaughlin in the article. Or anyone named Martin, for that matter.

But if you GOOGLE the Lake County Gazette for Free Fishing, you will get a picture of backbench State Rep Martin McLaughlin anyways.

HaHa. You been catfished!

Water Pipes

Note to Ops: Satire is like clean drinking water. Not everybody gets it.

Everyone in Lake County will be getting it, with some help from the Environmental Protection Agency:

Waukegan and North Chicago both plan to take advantage of more than $240 million the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) gave to the Illinois EPA (IEPA) in May for lead pipe replacement as part of President Joe Biden's Investing in America agenda.
Lake Co. cities seeking funds for pipe replacement

A spokesman for the Mundelein cannabis festival said: "The federal government wants to give us new pipes? Most excellent!"

When it was pointed out that the money was for lead pipes, the spokesman said: "So, what's your point?"

Where's a Farmer When You Need One?

That feeling of deja vu that you have may not be some recurring condition. That's because, once again, backbench State Rep Martin McLaughlin showed up on the Lake County Gazette:

The article with McLaughlin's picture relays a USDA report about farming conditions in Illinois. If McLaughlin is a farmer, he is not wearing his bib overalls. Or his John Deere hat. Or a piece of straw dangling between his teeth. In fact there is no mention of McLaughlin in the article. Or anyone named Martin, for that matter.

But if you GOOGLE the Lake County Gazette for positive USDA forecast, you will get a picture of backbench State Rep Martin McLaughlin.

HaHa. Psych!

Urban Bestrewal

Question of the day: What did the satirist say to the Village of Fox River Grove?

Answer: "It's easier to tear down than build up."

There is a towering hole along historic Rte 14, now, where there once had been a city block:

As a block of buildings in downtown Fox River Grove are demolished into a grassy lot, village officials are in talks with multiple developers to create a new downtown.
Demolition of downtown Fox River Grove block nears completion
Village has several developers interested in the vacant land, officials say

So, what's on tap to sprout up from the smoldering ashes? Nobody knows:

The village is currently in talks with "several developers," but no agreements have been made, yet
Demolition of downtown Fox River Grove block nears completion
Village has several developers interested in the vacant land, officials say

One spokesman for somebody in particular said: "We can always turn the property into a golf course. With a hole that big on the first tee, every golfer is guaranteed to break par."

Where's a Cop When You Need One?

Backbench State Rep Martin McLaughlin showed up on the Lake County Gazette:

The article with McLaughlin's picture is about some police officers who were given the Law Enforcement Medal of Honor. If McLaughlin is a police officer, he is not wearing his uniform in the picture.

In fact there is no mention of McLaughlin in the article. Or anyone named Martin, for that matter.

But if you GOOGLE the Lake County Gazette for Law Enforcement Medal of Honor, you will get a picture of backbench State Rep Martin McLaughlin.

HaHa Bazinga!

All Politics is Loco

Like many other college towns, Lake Forest is the site of a college: Lake Forest College.

Along with its own college, Lake Forest has its own unique form of government, the Lake Forest Caucus:

2023 ...

Selection of Lake Forest's next mayor thrown into turmoil after caucus nomination rejected

Editorial: Lake Forest caucus runs up against messy democracy. Now a fascinating mayoral election ensues.

Lake Bluff, Lake Forest, Winnetka and Glencoe defend their caucus systems

Proposed Lake Forest Caucus bylaw change seen as protection against 'manipulation,' or return to 'smoke-filled rooms of the past'

Lake Forest Caucus general membership rejects controversial bylaw change; 'I think it (would) make the process more secret'

Lake Forest Caucus elects new officers amid criticisms of the process; 'They are just ramming this down our throats'

2024 ...

Future of Lake Forest Caucus unclear after officer-slate rejection; 'We are looking for some changes … that reflect all the voices in Lake Forest'

Lake Forest Caucus leaders stick with rejected officer slate; 'These were the cards we were dealt'

Lake Forest Caucus plans another vote for officers; 'We do not want divisive litigation in the community'

Lake Forest Caucus sets second election for controversial proposed officer slate

A recent poll of leading political scientists in Illinois is unanimous: No one knows what the Lake Forest Caucus is for. Or for that matter, what it is.

Up in Arms

There is a proven theorem in combinatorics that says your odds are better for winning the lottery if you do not play the lottery than if you do. Your luck may be better yet instead, if you drop your gamblin'money at the Waukegan Casino:

American Place casino owner Full House Resorts produced record earnings in the first quarter of the year led by the performance of The Temporary at American Place in Waukegan.
Waukegan casino's owner reports record earnings: 'We look forward to continued growth at American Place'

And when you go, send regards to one Waukegan Alderman who will be working the one-armed bandits:

Waukegan's mayor is criticizing an alderman for posting online a photo of a severed arm found this month on the city's lakefront
Waukegan mayor calls alderman’s posting of severed-arm photo 'morally disgusting'

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Get rolling.

GO Gurnee Re-Boot: Get Moving in May

GO Gurnee Re-Boot: Get Moving in May

Dox Redux

Postpone your plans for the technological singularity. The AI Revolution is on the fritz.

The web-bots employed by the Lake County Gazette to reveal Lake County voter information, have been omitting the voter's street numbers and birth months and days:

In other news, a judge gave the Lake County Gazette (Lake County's #1 fakenews source) until Monday May 13 to remove the voter information.

Judge orders 'pink slime' publications to remove voters' personal information

Note to Ops: The Internet is Forever.

If it Looks Like a Dox ...

Note to Ops: If you want to look up the address, birth year and voting record of Lake County Associate Circuit Judge Daniel Jasica, you better hurry up. The Judge ordered the Lake County Gazette to remove all Lake County voter information that has been posted on its website:

A Lake County judge has given the company that publishes far-right websites and flyers designed to look like newspapers until 5 p.m. Monday to remove some personally identifiable voter information it publicly posted earlier this year in apparent violation of state law.
Judge orders 'pink slime' publications to remove voters' personal information

It is believed that this is the first time the Lake County Gazette (Lake County's #1 fakenews source) has been ordered to remove factual content from its website. That is because this is the first time the Lake County Gazette has ever posted factual content there.

The Church Invisible

Even a simple country political blog will have to acknowledge a religious confrontation over land ownership that has been dominating the news lately. Your LakeCountyEye, of course, refers to efforts by the Plymouth Brethren Christian Church to buy land from the South Barrington Park District.

Local interests had united to stop the sale of park district land to the religious organization:

The pending sale of land by the South Barrington Park District to a small, relatively unknown church group grew into a resident upheaval that included a lawsuit, but ended Wednesday with cancellation of the purchase, uncertainty about what's next and the resignation of a park board commissioner.
South Barrington park board votes to halt land sale to Plymouth Brethren Christian Church after clash with residents and being sued. A park commissioner quit amid the vitriol, citing 'nonsense.'

The tract of land is called AREA N. And while the "N" stands for NIMBY, the religious organization was recently able to obtain the land by operating under the guise of a shell company:

South Barrington Park District officials didn't learn a religious group was behind the winning bid for 34 acres of public parkland until two weeks after the $2.3 million sale was finalized, they revealed Tuesday. A limited liability company called Area N Development was the winning bidder for the land at Bartlett Road and Route 59, a wooded spot known to many as Area N, during a Feb. 28 auction. The park district closed the deal on March 7. Area N Development was created in Delaware about a week before the auction, public records show. It wasn't until March 22 that Schaumburg-based Fourth Avenue Gospel, which is owned and operated by members of the Plymouth Brethren Christian Church and was behind a failed effort to acquire the property in 2023, publicly admitted it invented Area N Development to buy the land.
Officials say they didn't know religious group was behind land buy until after it was completed

In other news, a spokesman for the Waukegan Airport said: "So, you can obtain public parkland without disclosing your true identity? Tell me more!"

Padded Envelope

Attention, shoppers: An envelope containing $20,000,000 has been found. The owner may claim it now. Please bring a photo ID:

The day after Darren Bailey won the 2022 Republican governor primary, he and his campaign manager made an urgent, unscheduled helicopter trip from downstate to meet political operative and right-wing radio show host Dan Proft for a closed-door meeting to talk about "serious" campaign funding. At a Chicago-area country club, Proft met both men at the front door and led them to a secluded room where he placed a white envelope on a table and said it contained $20 million from ultraconservative billionaire mega-donor Richard Uihlein.
At secret meeting, right-wing radio host Dan Proft dangled $20 million to Darren Bailey's governor run

All told, Lake County moneybags Richard Uhilein gave away more than $64,000,000 to alter the 2022 eletion.

In related news, ULINE has reported that orders for white envelopes have soared:

Note to Ops: Discounts are available on bulk purchases.

Must Disgust by Early May Orders from the DA

How many times has this happened to you? One of your good old boys, in a high elected office, says he is retiring. So you recruit a strong, sensible candidate for the office. Only to watch him lose in the Primary to a gung ho trumpster.

Whereupon, no surprise, the trumpster loses in the general election.

Well next time, don't work harder, work smarter. Get that office holder to run in the Primary, regardless, where he will be unopposed. It's only after he wins the Primary, that the office holder should announce his retirement. And then you caucus in a strong, sensible candidate for the office. SIKE!

In other news ...

Randi Freese announces run for McHenry County state’s attorney after Kenneally announces sudden withdrawal from race

McHenry County state’s attorney Patrick Kenneally announced his abrupt withdrawal from the ballot after winning the 2024 Republican Primary. Not long after that, assistant state’s attorney Randi Freese announced that with Kenneally's encouragement, she will be a candidate for his office.

The End.

No Cannabis Do

Your LakeCountyEye won't have Patrick Kenneally to kick around any more:

McHenry County State's Attorney Patrick Kenneally said Tuesday that, "after nonstop agonizing," he has chosen not to seek re-election in November. It would have been his third term as state's attorney, and he was running unopposed, having just won his Republican primary last month.
McHenry County State's Attorney Patrick Kenneally drops re-election bid, will step down as top prosecutor

Patrick Kenneally is currently the 2024 GOP candidate for McHenry County State's Attorney. He made his surprise announcement a few days after 4/20, International Cannabis Day. Party officials are expected to meet in a smoke filled room to nominate a replacement.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Stand-in Somebody Else's Shoe

No doubt about it, the writing was on the wall. The McHenry County man who shot himself in the foot now has established a farm team:

A Mundelein-area teen who initially claimed to be the victim of a drive-by shooting actually shot himself in the leg by accident, authorities said Sunday.
Sheriff: Reported drive-by shooting victim accidentally shot himself

A spokesman said: "Do you have the right stuff to be a McHenry County man who shot himself in the foot™? All you need are a firearm and an itchy trigger finger."

Farm team applicants are asked to attend the Mundelein outdoor cannabis festival. Where they will obtain valuable experience at misfiring their weapons.

Evaporated Milk

HL Mencken, the Sage of Baltimore, once said "nobody ever went bankrupt selling ice cream to the American people":

Oberweis Dairy filed for bankruptcy protection on Friday. The North Aurora-based company, known for its ice cream and milk packaged in glass bottles, filed a voluntary petition for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protections in the Northern District of Illinois, court records show.
Oberweis Dairy files for bankruptcy protection with more than $4M owed: court filings

The dairy belongs to the family of perennial Republican candidate Jim Oberweis. Oberweis, who inherited the family business, was on the ballot in Lake County for Governor, US Senate, US Congress, on numerous occasions. Oberweis campaigned on anti-immigration, anti-abortion, and other far-right issues. Oberweis is now the owner of a bankrupt business and is not to be confused with perennial candidate and business-owner Donald J Trump.

Note to Ops: April 15 is tax day. Declaring bankruptcy does not get you out of having to file your Federal taxes.

A Dox on Your House

This is dedicated to each Lake County voter who is experiencing an identity crisis. You know who you are.

The Lake County Gazette has published the names, addresses, birth dates of every Lake County registered voter:

Needless to say, that is enough information to steal your identity. The Illinois Attorney General is investigating:

The State Board of Elections has asked Attorney General Kwame Raoul to consider legal action against the publisher of far-right faux newspapers and websites for publishing personal information about Illinois voters.
State elections board asks AG’s office to look into publisher of fake newspapers for printing voter data

Being Lake County's #1 fakenews source, the Lake County Gazette deploys web bots to generate much of its content.

Note to Ops: There are many reputable services available that promise to monitor, alert, and assist in preventing or recovering from identity theft.

Identity theft

Just Sayin!

Heliophobia

Anyone driving down to see the eclipse might want to leave their Tesla in the garage. None of those solar charging stations will be of much use to you.

One solar facility in particular will be of no use to one Lake County community.  Hawthorn Woods residents successfully stopped a solar farm from going up in their backyards:

An application for a proposed commercial solar farm site along Fairfield Road in Hawthorn Woods has been withdrawn. The village's recent annexation of the property is being challenged in court.
Public hearing on proposed commercial solar facility near Hawthorn Woods canceled as village annexes property

When asked if the Waukegan Airport will annex the property, a spokesman said: "No. The last time we annexed a solar farm, the first electric jumbojet that went up ran out of batteries at 30,000 feet."

April is the Foolest Month

Breaking news: Reliable sources tell your LakeCountyEye that April Fool's Day has been moved forward to April 2, at least for the current year.

Who knew? Not your LakeCountyEye. Mark your calendars. It's not every day that your horometrical overlords fool around with April Fool's Day.

In related news, a truck did not crash into the Long Grove covered bridge. And the Waukegan Airport did not annex any public land. And no one was baked at the Mundelein cannabis festival.

The McHenry County Man who did not shoot himself in the foot was unavailable for comment.

Mad as a March Hare

Today's quiz is a fill-in-the-blank question, and was suggested by the Lake County GOP:

Q: You can never have too many _______?

The correct answer is GUNS.

The Lake County Republican Party is promoting another gun raffle. This time in Gurnee:

Lake County IL GOP

The gun raffle is this week, on Holy Thursday (Easter 2024).

A spokesman for the Lake County GOP said: "Have you ever been to an Easter egg hunt, only to go home empty handed? Next time don't disappoint your kids. You just can't go to a hunt of any sort without adequate firepower, so pick up a rifle and maybe a handgun at the Holy Thursday gun raffle.  Then bring those new firearms to your next Easter egg hunt -- I will guarantee that those Easter eggs will be dropping like clay pigeons!"

Minus Signs

Anyone who thinks the GOP does not raise women up on a pedestal is sadly misinformed. When quizzed about MCU superpowers, MAGA voters overwhelmingly say they want to have X-ray vision.

Those MAGA bros would also need X-ray vision, if they voted at this Lake County poll last week. Who were the GOP candidates? No one knows. The GOP yardsigns were all stacked together tighter than pancakes at a $17 Easter brunch:

Note to GOP Ops: You're doing it wrong. Use that Republican yardsign to block your opponent's signs, instead.

Identity Politics

Sharpeyed operatives say this is not Mark Shaw. Who knew? Not your LakeCountyEye:

Keep on Trumpin'

If Mark Shaw is the former Chair of the Lake County Republicans. And if Mark Shaw is a 2024 convention delegate for former legitimate businessman and former U.S. President Donald J Trump. Then who is the guy with the gun between Joe Walsh and the missus?

The overcompensating fellow in the picture is obviously a boomer-aged white male.  Very likely a second amendment advocate, and to all appearances a MAGA voter.

And your LakeCountyEye would hazard to guess that he is opposed to women's rights, and to immigration, and to vaccines.

So who is this guy? Quite possibly Lake County backbench State Rep, Martin McLaughlin:

Note to Ops: If it looks like Donald Duck, quacks like Donald Duck, waddles like Donald Duck, etc., etc., then it must be Donald Duck.

Eat and Run

In Lake County, any politician who does not campaign on lunch bucket issues risks being handed their lunch. So it should come as no surprise that backbench State Rep Martin McLaughlin says inflation is making your grocery bill way too high:

McLaughlin on inflation in Illinois: 'Things are tough for people and there's no relief in sight'

And if McLaughlin has his way you will need to buy plenty of those groceries to feed a growing family. That's because Martin McLaughlin is anti-choice:

Each election cycle the Right to Life McHenry County puts out a list of candidates that support their pro-life position so voters can elect representatives that reflect their values. We're proud to say that Marty is on that list!
Twitter

And be prepared to secure a loan before buying those groceries. Martin McLaughlin wants a sales tax on your grocery purchases:

Mayors slam Pritzker’s proposal to eliminate grocery tax

Note to Ops: Be sure to clip those grocery coupons. They not only lower the cost of your groceries, but your grocery tax as well.

The Pillow Fight

Breaking News: Easter Sunday 2024 has been cancelled nationwide. The Alabama Supreme Court just ruled that Easter eggs are children.

HaHa. Nowadays, couples who want to raise a family are going to have to go about it the old fashioned way -- with pillow talk. One local expert on pillow talk is Lake County backbench State Rep Martin McLaughlin. Here McLaughlin is seen consorting with the pillow guy, Mike Lindell:

With all of the WOKE legislation proposed here in Springfield nice to see Mike Lindell at the state capital. Maybe we can finally put these bad policies to bed …. Comfortably of course! #martyforillinois #ReturntoReasonable pic.twitter.com/sekNi9OQSy

— Martin McLaughlin (@MartyForIL) March 6, 2024

Martin McLaughlin is anti-choice. Which means McLaughlin would deny any woman the freedom to make her own reproductive decisions. So if you buy a pillow from McLaughlin, be prepared to carry it all the way home -- even if it is full of bull feathers.

Illusion Fields

So there was a guy who liked to hike through the Forest Preserves, while wearing nothing -- except his virtual reality goggles. He didn't want to see any biting flies.

HaHa, the Lake County Forest Preserves are going all-in on AI:

The Lake County Forest Preserve District is using artificial intelligence to enhance the user experience for visitors to its website.
How AI is helping Lake County forest preserves engage with the public

Are the Lake County Forest Preserves in urgent need of some electronic sprucing up? Or would that be gilding the lily? Discuss in the comments.

In related news, someone hacked into the Forest Preserves computers and installed Flight Simulator. The Waukegan Airport was unavailable for comment.

Go for the Green

Question of the Day:

Lake County will spend a million dollars to resurrect an old dinosaur. Does that mean Lake County is rebooting Jurassic Park?

Answer:

No. It is for the Route 53 Extension Greenway.

HaHa. The News-Sun says ...

Land once acquired to expand Illinois Route 53 is to be turned over to the Illinois Department of Natural Resources (IDNR) to prepare to open the "greenway" for public use, after Gov. J.B. Pritzker included $1 million for the conservation project in his proposed budget.
Governor’s budget includes $1M for Lake County ‘greenway’

Then someone at the Waukegan Airport issued a statement: "We will earmark that $1,000,000 to defray our legal expenses when the Waukegan International Airport annexes the Route 53 Greenway for the runway expansion."

Don't Bet on It

Today's Question of the Day is a story problem:

Q: The 2024 Presidential horse race has left the gate, and Ron DeSantis already came in dead last. Would DeSantis have done better in that horse race if he had four legs?

A: If Ron DeSantis had four legs, he'd be working for Disney.

HaHa, Lake County Moneybags Richard Uihlein bet a million dollars on Ron DeSantis. And lost:

A billionaire couple from Lake Forest who are among the nation's top Republican donors gave more than $1 million to Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis' failed bid for the presidency in the final three months of 2023, federal records show.
Uihleins spent more than $1 million on DeSantis’ presidential campaign in fall — will they now back Trump

This would not mark the first time that Richard Uihlein dropped a bundle on an also-ran. In 2022, he gave $3,500,000 to Darren Bailey's failed gubernatorial campaign. And Uihlein, that same year, pumped $1,000,000 into an effort to stop a Constitutional Amendment -- the Illinois Right to Collective Bargaining. That ballot referendum sailed to victory by 17 points.

In related news, the Lake County GOP issued an urgent plea: "Please consider making a donation here in Lake County. We will have plenty of loser candidates on the primary ballot in March."

Saturday Night Special Cartoons

The McHenry County man who shot himself in the foot was outdrawn last week. By the Creepy Tribune Cartoonist:

Will there be more mash-ups for the Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist™ and the McHenry County Man Who Shot Himself in the Foot™ any time soon? Not likely. One McHenry County MAGA man told your LakeCountyEye: "They bus in their pen-men from Chicago to make renditions of our Second Amendment patriots. And they bring with them their diseases and their crime into McHenry County. We need to build that paywall now."

Ash from a Hole in the Ground

Question of the day:

Q: How rich is rich?

A: Rich is when you donate your Tesla to Kars4Kids because the ashtray is full.

HaHa, the City of Waukegan's ashtray is full. With coal ash:

As Midwest Generation seeks modification of its handling of coal ash at its decommissioned Waukegan power plant from the Illinois Pollution Control Board, it is reconsidering its earlier proposal to cap one coal ash pond and remove the other. Local officials, including Waukegan Mayor Ann Taylor, have pushed Midwest to remove both ponds. State Sen. Adriane Johnson, D-Buffalo Grove, and state Rep. Rita Mayfield, D-Gurnee, introduced legislation in the Illinois General Assembly requiring removal.
Coal ash ponds the subject of Pollution Control Board hearing; 'Waukegan residents deserve better'

You can add toxic coal ash to the list of expensive environmental messes in the upper right corner of Lake County. Waukegan Mayor Ann Taylor said ...

the company has refused to cooperate with the city removing the pollution its coal furnaces have spewed for nearly a century. Waukegan already has five Superfund sites from other polluters in its industrial past, much of it along the lakefront. "The residents of Waukegan cannot bear the financial cost of yet another environmental catastrophe caused by a private company," Taylor said "This company is failing to address its environmental mess adequately. Waukegan residents deserve better."
Coal ash ponds the subject of Pollution Control Board hearing; 'Waukegan residents deserve better'

The Waukegan Airport quickly released a statement: "No, the Waukegan International Airport will absolutely not be annexing the coal ash for its runway expansion. Whatever gave you that idea?"

School of Hard Knocks

How about a quick run of fantasy football before the Super Bowl?

This is the line up: Your quarterback is the Antioch Village Trustee who wants to direct school policy even though she does not sit on the school board:

Trustee Petrina Burman began objecting last year to certain materials dealing with gender identity being made available to students in Antioch School District 34. That sparked an investigation by an outside agency. The citizens group and Burman have since taken to social media to express their viewpoints.
Antioch officials want to focus on plans rather than gender-identity debate; ‘This is … a distraction from getting these projects completed’

Suddenly there is a wide opening far downfield:

Lake Zurich Community Unit School District 95 is accepting applications from candidates to fill a school board vacancy.
Lake Zurich Dist. 95 seeking applicants for school board vacancy

Is this an opportunity to pick up a seat on a school board?  Not so fast --  applicants must reside in the school district. This means that Antioch Village Trustees are ineligible and would need to find other means to exert their influence. Perhaps by waging a social media campaign against that school district.

Hike!

People Unclear on the Contempt

Did you hear the one about the candidate who filed a nominating petition for school board? However, she failed to check her paperwork. And was elected village trustee instead. HaHa, true story.

One Antioch Village Trustee was so unhappy with her school district that she took to social media in a big way:

Trustee Petrina Burman began objecting last year to certain materials dealing with gender identity being made available to students in Antioch School District 34. That sparked an investigation by an outside agency. The citizens group and Burman have since taken to social media to express their viewpoints.
Antioch officials want to focus on plans rather than gender-identity debate; ‘This is … a distraction from getting these projects completed’

Things became embarrassing to a degree that the Village Board censured their Trustee:

Antioch trustees have reprimanded one of their own, saying it's time to move on from social media distractions and focus on village business.
Antioch village trustee censured for ‘disruptive’ conduct

Note to Ops: You can exert more influence over school district policy by sitting on that school board. And not your village board.

Just sayin!

Thunder from Down Under

It's been so cold in backwoods Kane County that some people are hoping the exploding bomb train can warm things up in their town.

HaHa, Kane County is building an underpass for the exploding Lake County train:

Things are looking up for motorists who suffer multiple daily delays waiting for slow-moving freight trains to cross Randall Road on the border of Elgin and South Elgin. Kane County officials have announced the county has been awarded $25 million in federal funding for a new overpass that will allow drivers to travel over the Canadian National railroad tracks.
Relief in sight for Randall Road drivers in Kane County frustrated by freight trains

One regional functionary told your LakeCountyEye that anyone craving winter entertainment won't need to drive through an expensive holiday light show. They will be able to drive over the exploding bomb train instead. And all for free.

In related news, Friday is Groundhog Day. Do you ever have déjà vu?

Flight Payment

Did you hear the one about the Illinois County that built a bridge through terrain that saw no traffic at all? They paid for it with a toll both.

HaHa true story. Which may explain how this story happened:

one thing motorists won't meet when they drive over the Longmeadow Parkway bridge is a toll taker, electronic or otherwise. With construction nearly complete and the bridge across the Fox River expected to open later this year, it's now official that the span will be toll-free.
Longmeadow Parkway bridge will be toll-free when it's expected to open this fall after much controversy

Enjoy it while you can, however. One ostensibly regional authority told your LakeCountyEye: "The minute that parkway is annexed for the Waukegan International Airport runway expansion, the toll booth goes back up. It costs money to run an airport."

Bomb Trains Bursting in Air

It's been so cold in Lake County that some people are hoping the exploding bomb train can warm things up in their town.

HaHa, the Village of Barrington is building an overpass for the exploding Lake County train:

Drivers traveling through Barrington along Northwest Highway know what it’s like to suffer long delays as they wait for freight train traffic to clear along the Canadian National Railway tracks near Route 59. But relief is on the horizon. Work begins this year on a $94.1 million project to build a long-awaited underpass carrying Route 14 traffic between Route 59 and Valencia Avenue below the railroad tracks.
'Long awaited and longed for': Underpass work in Barrington set to begin

One regional functionary told your LakeCountyEye that anyone craving winter entertainment won't need to drive through an expensive holiday light show. They will be able to drive under the exploding bomb train instead. And all for free.

In related news, the Waukegan International Airport is expected to file a legal claim on the overpass for its runway expansion project.

Growing Tree Preschool Open House

Growing Tree Preschool Open House
January 17 Hunt Club Park Community Center 6:30-7:30 pm

Growing Tree Preschool Open House
January 18 Viking Park Community Center 6:30-7:30 pm

Boom Town

Pyrophiles will not have to wait until the Fourth of July this year. The Village of Fox River Grove wants to blow up part of its downtown in April:

Fox River Grove is one step closer to revitalizing its downtown as the village plans to start demolition on a full block along Route 14 in the spring.
Fox River Grove aims to start demolition on downtown block in April

The Village of Fox River Grove will demolish 6 heirloom storefronts on Rte 14 to make room for a 5 story apartment building. The properties were acquired by eminent domain:

Fox River Grove uses eminent domain to buy downtown properties, meaning possible redevelopment but also New China’s closure

In related news, the Waukegan Airport issued a cease-and-desist order: "Not so fast, there, Village of Fox River Grove. The Waukegan International Airport shall be exercising eminent domain authority to seize that land for its runway expansion project."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

No One Ever Went Broke Underestimating Artificial Intelligence

Has the Lake County Gazette been downloading its content from AI ChatBots? The evidence indicates the Lake County Gazette (Lake County's #1 fakenews source) got ChatBot to fabricate this story:

Who are these people?

Major General John Smith, possibly "(May 7, 1750 – March 5, 1836) was a Virginia planter and politician who served in both houses of the Virginia General Assembly as well as the United States House of Representatives."
John Smith (Virginia representative)

Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Johnson MBE RLC, might be the Commander of the 154 (Scottish) Regiment British Army's Royal Logistic Corps.
154 (Scottish) Regiment RLC

It's anybody's guess who General Mark Johnson, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff is. The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff is U.S. Air Force Gen. Charles Q. Brown, Jr.
Charles Q. Brown Jr.

Finally, the Lake County Gazette gave a H/T to State Representative Tom Weber for the stiory idea:

Who is Tom Weber? No doubt some rando that ChatBot pulled out of the Internet.