Wednesday, November 27, 2013

The Bank Holiday

ceiling catThe Geneva Conventions may not apply to the War on Christmas, which has escalated precipitously in 2013. Thanksgiving was moved back to November 28 this year, giving holiday Christmas shoppers a meager 4 weeks to avert total retail Armageddon. To put an already dire economic situation in some perspective, Thanksgiving comes so late in 2013 that Black Friday will fall on a Saturday. Haha, j/k. But in point of fact, Black Friday will occur in January this year. Look it up.

Your LakeCountyEye has been told that defenders of the holiday Christmas spirit are not about to throw in the white flag, not just yet. Hundreds, if not thousands, of brave Lake County retail employees have pledged be in their shops & stores, all day, on Thanksgiving Day -- and manning their stations for the opportunity to serve, you, the holiday Christmas shopper.

Never was so much owed by so many to so few!

Well, your LakeCountyEye is not going to take this lying down -- even after a couple Hungry-Man frozen turkey dinners. Can you join your LakeCountyEye in observing the holiday Christmas holidays as they traditionally have been for thousands of years? All you need to do is go out on Thanksgiving Day and buy some stuff. Here are 10 suggestions to get everyone revved up and into a holiday shopping mood:

Only You Can Help Save Christmas
Ten Things to Buy on Thanksgiving Day in Lake County
  1. Route 53 Extension Toll House Cookies

  2. Homegrown Medical "Mistletoe"

  3. Plan your same-sex holiday wedding at this Lake County boutique shop ...
    Don We Now Our Gay Apparel

  4. Have your family portrait professionally taken by a Mundelein squad car.
    Perfect for holiday cards.

  5. Unincorporated Lake County Backyard Chicken Egg Nog

  6. Augment that festive holiday spray with festive South Lake Mosquito Abatement District spray.

  7. CN Stationary Model Train
    (no electricity required)

  8. Gurnee is your destination for that must-have outdoor decoration:
    Rudolph the Red Light Camera

  9. Radioactive Pet Rocks

  10. From the North Pole direct to the Election Polls:
    The Lake County Election Commission
    In original box!

Look for your LakeCountyEye, revved up maxxed out.

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