Thursday, November 30, 2017

Party Pooper

That special time of the year -- those days and nights betwixt Thanksgiving and New Years -- is nigh upon thee. And your LakeCountyEye has a helpful checklist:
Seasonal Decorations
Holiday Gifts
File Your Nominating Petitions
Haha, the deadline to file for office in the 2018 election is December 4, next Monday. While there are many requirements to file, the most important is your Loyalty Oath:

Illinois Loyalty Oath
Sharpeyed operatives will note that you are being asked to swear that you are not a Communist:
... and furthermore, will note that an arguably Communist Party does not exist any more -- at least not outside the territorial boundaries of North Korea.

An embarrassing oversight, to be sure. To rectify the situation, your LakeCountyEye has compiled the names of suitable, alternative extremist political parties, against which Illinois candidates can swear their dis-allegiance. Ten by last count:
10 Political Parties More Appropriate
for the Illinois Loyalty Oath
  1. Guns and Dope Party

  2. United States Pirate Party

  3. Silly Party

  4. Very Silly Party

  5. STAG Party

  6. Surprise Party

  7. Objectivist Party

  8. Sovereign Citizens

  9. Oath Keepers

  10. Republican Party
Look for your LakeCountyEye crashing a party near you.

No comments: