Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Bad Paper

There is not a shred of evidence to support the rumor that Peter Roskam will portray Jack the Ripper this Halloween ...
But your LakeCountyEye has learned that Roskam -- Lake County's vestigial Congressman -- will host a document shredding openhouse this weekend. Operatives who are drowning in paper are invited to dispose of those old documents -- including but not limited to ...
  • Bank Withdrawal Slips (Under $10,000)
  • Unreleased Tax Returns
  • Classified State Department Communiques
  • Federal Subpoenas
  • The Affordable Health Care Act
  • "Surplus" Yardsigns from in Back of the Van
  • Rogaine Prescriptions
  • Scott Walker for President Petitions
  • Union Contracts
  • Illinois No-Firearms Signs
Congressman Roskam will be on-hand to demonstrate the "you're-doing-it-wrong" approach to document shredding ...

GOP Rep. Explodes At IRS Chief, Dramatically Crumples Redacted Report: ‘This Is Junk!
... as well as the appropriate way to dispose of that potentially embarrassing paper-trail:

A Republican lawmaker dramatically ripped up some paper during Hillary Clinton's Benghazi hearing
Note to Ops: Time is limited. Professional cut-ups have been asked not to attend.

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