Double Trouble

Has the cost of gasoline made it too expensive even to drive the kids to soccer practice? The US Dept of Transportation has some helpful advice for you: Take the train instead.

HaHa. Gas and diesel prices are at record highs. So high, it is now too expensive to transport oil by rail behind a diesel locomotive.

HaHa, j/k. There are plenty of oil cars moving in and out of Lake County. And there may be plenty more to come. It is believed that Canadian National Railway wants to build a second track in Lake County:

rail experts say, this second track could mean dozens of additional Canadian National and Union Pacific freight trains rolling each day
From the Chicago suburbs to short line railroad companies, proposed merger heightens concerns

One industry spokesman said: "We absolutely need to double-track the lines. What happens when an oil car explodes? Then how are we supposed to move the freight without an extra track?"

Fall Movie Night in the Park (FREE)

Fall Movie Night in the Park (FREE)

Where in the Hill?

Is Martin McLaughlin taken? One would assume not, judging by the number of ladies who are lined up to espouse him.

Perfunctory GOP State Rep Martin McLaughlin got the support of some women in leadership:

Of course, don't go looking in Lake County for any Republicans in leadership, because these are scarcer than free-range roosters on a Chick-fil-A menu. Worse yet, GOP women leaders are scarcer than hen's teeth. Consequently, McLaughlin's leader-board is filled with a handful of Village Presidents, plus a State's Attorney, a Village Trustee, a Township Trustee, a former Village President, a former Village Trustee, a Township GOP President, and a business owner.

Despite McLaughlin being in the Illinois legislature, you don't see are any State Reps or Senators here. In particular, no State Senator Darby Hills. Someone who would absolutely qualify as a woman in leadership. If Martin McLaughlin's women in leadership were a club, that would be the elephant in the room.

2026 Bonfire & Brews: A Taste of Gurnee

Bonfire & Brews: A Taste of Gurnee (21+)

The Ballot's in the Mail

It has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that there will be an election in November. Who knew? At any rate, your LakeCountyEye will be faithfully waiting at the door for the mail-in ballot to arrive. What can go wrong?

HaHa. Will certified US President Donald J Trump order his servants at the US Post Office to steal your vote? As luck would have it, there is an easy workaround:

This year, Lake County voters will be able to take their mail-in ballots to any of the more than 90 polling places on Election Day and use the drop box inside.
Affordability is key as Lake election races enter stretch run: 'We may have a higher turnout than usual'

Why tempt fate?

In related news, shoppers are advised to get their lists for Santa Claus into the mail early this year. Before Santa is seized and sent to an ICE detention facility.

A Riddle Wrapped in a Mystery Inside an Enigma

Can you spot the difference?

These 2 nearly identical stories were posted 5 days apart in the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source. The only significant difference is the bylines:

Who are IK Williams and DL Darling? One thing is certain, if you wanted to make up some fakenames for your fakenewsbots you couldn't do better. And as everybody knows, the content you read in the Lake County Gazette is 100% outsourced to newsbots AI-trained at Russian troll farms.

One cybersecurity expert had this to say: "Ordinarily bots are trained to steal other people's content. But the Gazette's bot is stealing its content from the Gazette. I'll bet they do it to save on legal costs. If there's a lawsuit, they only need to hire one set of lawyers."

Meet the Flockers

Nietzsche said: "When you stare into the abyss, a Flock camera stares back at you."

HaHa. Reliably photogenic Lake County is uncharacteristically camera-shy when it comes to Flock surveillance cameras. Local advocates are organizing against the automated license plate readers (ALPR):

DeFlock Lake County, a newly created branch of a national campaign against one of the more well-known ALPR companies, has held informational and training events encouraging residents to push back against the technology.
As Illinois debates rules for license plate readers, resistance grows in Lake County

One thing is certain, the ALPR cameras are not going away any time soon.

In related news, filmmaking is big business in Illinois. And the demand to film in photogenic Long Grove is so great that the Village is ...

discussing amending the village's code to insert guidelines on commercial filming/photography. The proposed ordinance would establish fees of $250 per day for small productions with 10 people or fewer, $500 per day for medium productions with between 11 and 30 people, and $1,000 per day for large productions with greater than 30 people.
Cinematic sprawl: Suburbs putting guardrails around filmmaking activities

One industry insider said: "Anyone on a tight budget who wants to shoot a movie here should stage their scenes in front of the Flock cameras. The cameras are everywhere and you can get any angle you need. Then just FOIA the camera company for the footage. You're guaranteed to save a ton on production costs."

Happy Birth Anniversary to You

An actual unretouched screencap from Lake County's #1 fakenews source, the Lake County Gazette:

What's a Birth Anniversary? Nobody knows.

Actually, everybody knows. If this is the Lake County Gazette then the content you see has been generated by AI newsbots trained at Russian Troll Farms. And Birth Anniversary is how you say Birthday in Russian:

birthday = день рождения

Case closed!

Colonel Mustard in the US House with a Pipe Dream

An actual unretouched screencap from Lake County's #1 fakenews source, the Lake County Gazette:

Pictured is Robert W Churchill, a former Majority Leader of the Illinois House of Representatives. For the record, Churchill was never in the US Congress.

Who writes these stories? Nobody knows. What everyone knows is the Lake County Gazette gets its content from AI newsbots trained at Russian Troll Farms.

But according to the byline shown here, the author is I K Williams:

Who is I K Williams? Nobody knows. Luckily there is one cutting-edge data tool, available to all, that can sift through the clues and find the answers to many of mankind's most puzzling mysteries. Your LakeCountyEye, of course, refers to the Internet Anagram Server:

I K Williams anagrams into AI WILL SKIM. Case closed!

Inside Ulinebacker

Lake County megadonors Elizabeth and Richard Uihlein donated $35 million to the Northwestern University football program. Typically when this sort of thing happens, there is one thing that is always overheard: "Give me a quarter back."

HaHa. The Uihleins are in the news again:

Northwestern's football program will receive a $35 million gift commitment from the family of Liz and Dick Uihlein, the billionaire owners of Uline supply company
Uihlein family giving $35M to NU football

Even in Wisconsin, $35M is a lot of cheese. But don't go running to your sportsbook just quite yet. The Uihleins are better known for giving dollars to right-wing candidates and PACs:

Liz and Dick Uihlein, residents of Lake Forest, are prominent Republican-party mega donors, having heavily supported GOP campaigns in the past decade, including nearly $59 million to support President Donald Trump's reelection in 2024 and $70 million this election cycle to conservative efforts, including anti-abortion and anti-LGBTQ+ groups
Uihlein family giving $35M to NU football

One exception is the Lake County Republican Party, to whom the Uihleins have over the years given scant little. The last donation the Uihleins made to the Lake County GOP was in 2024, and amounted to a miserly $1050.

The Lake County GOP nonetheless is undeterred. One spokesman has a message for every Northwestern U football player: "Unlike Evanston, Lake County has plenty of affordable housing. And while you're here, vote for our candidates. And send them a donation too. Make the check out to the Lake County Republican Central Committee."

Quarterback Sneak

Put on your thinking caps, today's quiz is taken from the Texas Tech college entrance exam:

Q: What did the football coach say to the vending machine?

A: Give me my quarterback.

HaHa. This Chicago Tribune headline story is also about a quarterback:

But this quarterback is a "Springfield labor quarterback":

What's a "Springfield labor quarterback"? Nobody knows.

Surely this would be an example of an AI hallucination. To find out -- and being no different than any other media outlet owned by a Fortune500 Conglomerate -- your LakeCountyEye of course outsourced the investigation to AI:

Your AI overlords have obviously been trained in the art of circling the wagons.

Your LakeCountyEye has yet to hear a response.

Don't Drink the Water and Don't Eat the Food

Are your greens making you green? The Lake County Health Dept warns you to stay away from green vegetation.

The culprit clearly is the recent outbreak of cyclospora and salmonella. Or is it? Actually no. What you now need to steer clear of are toxic algae blooms:

'When in doubt, stay out': Experts warn about potential toxic algal blooms in local waters

Toxic algae blooms are nothing to sneeze at:

The Illinois Environmental Protection Agency says that the toxins can also cause rashes, lung irritations, digestive problems, headaches, lethargy and elevated liver enzymes in humans.
'When in doubt, stay out': Experts warn about potential toxic algal blooms in local waters

And the toxic algae has been spreading like wildflowers:

Reflecting Pool algae bloom is one of biggest recorded in years after $14M renovation

So just why did DOGE fire all of those CDC scientists and FDA inspectors last year? A spokesman for the Trump Whitehouse said: "If we want to make America healthy again, we're first going to need to make America very sick again."

Gurnee Days 2026

Gurnee Days 2026

Sh-Boom

You didn't hear it here. A quiet zone will be established for the Canadian National Railway:

Barrington is slated to take the lead among communities working to recertify a quiet zone along the Canadian National Railway corridor.
Barrington on track with other communities toward renewing Canadian National quiet zone

A quiet-zone is a stretch of rail where engine horns are silenced. This applies to all trains, including exploding bomb trains. One industry spokesman said: "We can't guarantee that you won't hear it when one of our cars explodes. But is that such a bad thing?"

Jack of All Charades

Jack Barry, a pioneer of early television, is best known for rigging TV game shows in the 1950s. And now Donald Trump wants you to believe that Jack Barry is back and is rigging the national elections:

Trump Doubles Down on Election Fraud Claims. Here’s What to Know About US Voting Security

HaHa, j/k. Barry died in 1984. Read about it in the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source:

So why is the Lake County Gazette featuring a story about a network TV personality who died more than 40 years ago? Maybe because he was born in Lindenhurst.

Lindenhurst, Long Island -- in the State of New York, to be exact:

It is no secret that the content of the Lake County Gazette is outsourced to Russian AI bots. When asked why it persistently confuses Lindenhurst Illinois with Lindenhurst New York, the Lake County Gazette AI bot said: "Извините, я не говорю по-английски."^*
__________________________

* Sorry, I do not speak English.

Sounds of Summer Concert at Hunt Club Park – Mike & Joe

Sounds of Summer Concert at Hunt Club Park – Mike & Joe

No Great Shakes

Lake County bowling scores were higher than normal last week. There was an earthquake:

A mild earthquake occurred off the shore of the northern suburbs Wednesday afternoon, officials said. A 2.9 magnitude earthquake was recorded in Lake Michigan near the Illinois-Wisconsin border
Mild earthquake reported in Lake Michigan off the shore of northern suburbs, officials say

In related news, two cows escaped from their Lake County dairy farm:

A pair of cows that wandered away from their home and were found "chilling" in a parking lot in central Lake County were reunited with their owner
'No bull': Lake County sheriff's deputies find wayward cows

Lake County milkshake consumption was higher than normal last week.

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Shake a leg.

Dopes Spring Eternal

Question of the Day: What is a Rope-a-Dope?

	Coined by Muhammad Ali in 1974, "rope-a-dope" is a defensive strategy where a boxer leans against the ropes. By covering up and allowing the opponent to repeatedly throw tiring, non-injuring punches, the defender saves their own energy. Once the attacker exhausts themselves, the defender strikes back to secure a victory.
	The Ayatollahs of Iran VS Donald J Trump

And speaking of dope, Chief Keef is back:

Chief Keef Will Perform In Chicago For 1st Time In 14 Years With Show At Northerly Island

Sadly, Lake County GOP favorite son Chief Keef will not be performing in Lake County. Nonetheless the Lake County GOP has extended an open invitation to Chief Keef -- he is welcome to visit Lake County at any time. A Lake County GOP spokesman said: "We need to remind the voters about all of the drug dealers south of the border that are coming up into Lake County."

Sounds of Summer Concert – Billy Elton

Sounds of Summer Concert – Billy Elton (FREE)

A Back of the Envelope Donation

Question of the Day: When does $50 million get you only a 6th place finish?

Is it when a President Trump bribes FIFA to bend the rules and then the USA team immediately gets beat by 5th place Belgium? No, the correct answer is when that $50 million only puts you in 6th place behind the country's other political mega-donors:

Meet the megadonors pouring more than $1.3 billion into the 2026 election

Lake County moneybags Richard & Elizabeth Uihlein have been observed pouring gobs of green into right-wing coffers. One would naturally assume good times are on the horizon for the Republican Party in Lake County. But despite giving more than $50 million this election cycle, the last donation the Uihleins made to the Lake County GOP was in 2024, and which amounted to a miserly $1050. And that wasn't even cash -- it was for office supplies:

To put that in perspective, $1050 worth of office supplies would not even fill a returned-merchandise dumpster at Uline.

A spokesman for the Lake County GOP said: "We asked the Uihleins for a donation and they sent us packing peanuts."

Celebrity Apparition

Every year, to kickoff the Summer, Lake County unites to celebrate the birthday of model/actress Linda Morand:

Who is Linda Morand? Nobody knows.

The Lake County Gazette says Morand was born here in Lindenhurst. For the sake of accuracy however, "here" needs to refer to Lindenhurst, Long Island, which is in the State of New York:

A spokesman for the Lake County Gazette (Lake County's #1 fakenews source) said: "Close enough for anti-government propaganda work."

Dualing Typos

An actual unretouched screencap from the Chicago Tribune, the Midwest's newspaper of record:

In related news, the Chicago Tribune has purchased the Daily Harold:

Tribune Publishing completes purchase of Daily Herald, adding the suburban newspaper to its Chicago portfolio

A spokesman for the Lake County Gazette Lake County's #1 fakenews source said: "Please insert your own AI news-bot joke here."

America 250th Celebration

America 250th Celebration

Miscast

Luca Brasi, legendary mob enforcer, has died. And no, your LakeCountyEye is not talking a Trump administration functionary. Your LakeCountyEye is talking about Godfather Part 1 actor Lenny Montana. You can read about it in the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source:

Do not bother sending condolences. The actor died in 1992.

So why is the Lake County Gazette featuring a story about a New York actor who died more than 30 years ago? Maybe because he died in Lindenhurst.

Lindenhurst, Long Island -- in the State of New York, to be exact:

It's no secret that the content you see in the Lake County Gazette is generated by Russian AI bots. When asked how a Godfather actor could be misidentified as a Lindenhurst resident, one AI bot said: "It's not personal, it's strictly business."

Sounds of Summer Concert – Disco Circus

Sounds of Summer Concert – Disco Circus

No Contests

Perennial gubernatorial candidate Darren Bailey has filed legal paperwork to knock his opponent Collin Corbett off of the ballot. Typically a political campaign does not want to be associated with embarrassing legal tricks such as these. To maintain a veneer of anonymity, a campaign will recruit a citizen stooge to file the paperwork for them. But in the case of the Bailey campaign, that citizen stooge is Lieutenant Governor candidate Aaron Del Mar:

The Bailey campaign's objection in the governor's race to Corbett was filed with the State Board of Elections by the Republican's running mate, Aaron Del Mar
Illinois GOP governor nominee Darren Bailey seeks to block independent from Nov. 3 ballot

Does this mean that support for the Bailey campaign is so thin that they were unable to find someone outside of their ranks to do their legal dirtywork? No, more likely, this simply means that no one knows who Aaron Del Mar is, and he was just as good a choice as anyone.

In related news, more than half of the Democratic candidates in Lake County are running unopposed:

Of the 31 contests for the Illinois General Assembly, countywide positions, the Lake County Board seats and the North Shore Water Reclamation District, 16 are unopposed
Nearly half of Lake County candidates running in November election face no opponent

A spokesman for the Lake County GOP said: "This is part of our national strategy to suppress the vote. If we knock every candidate off of the ballot and if we don't run any candidates of our own, then the voter has no reason to go to the polls in November."

Who's Your Data

Did you hear the one about the data farm that put cow chips in all of the computers? It wanted to produce AI-slop.

HaHa. Will Grayslake be the site of Lake County's first data center? Maybe not:

The development of the Grayslake T5 data center could soon face a legal challenge after a local opposition group issued a litigation hold against the village.
Legal challenge to Grayslake data center project likely: 'The juice isn't worth the squeeze'

With a nearby data center sucking up all of your ground water and electricity what's to hate?

Coming up next: The Waukegan Airport annexes data center in Grayslake.

Bailey Out

The Lake County GOP had their opportunity last week to see honorary Lake County Governor Darren Bailey in honorary Lake County village South Barrington.  That is, until the crooked judicial system intervened:

A political dinner that was scheduled for Thursday in the northwest suburbs to benefit Republican governor candidate Darren Bailey was postponed after the Tribune raised questions about whether the event complied with a 4-year-old Illinois law prohibiting candidates from holding fundraisers anywhere in the state when the legislature is in session in Springfield.
Fundraiser for Illinois GOP governor candidate Darren Bailey delayed after Tribune raised ethics law questions

Bailey was caught red handed violating a statute -- one he voted for as a legislator -- that prohibits campaign fundraising when the legislature is in session:

The Barrington Township Republican Organization had invited supporters in an online advertisement to "a very private dinner" Thursday at a South Barrington restaurant with Bailey and running mate Aaron Del Mar. The $500-per-plate dinner, limited to 25 seats, would have been "paid for by the BTRO with all NET proceeds from dinner benefiting Bailey for Illinois".
Fundraiser for Illinois GOP governor candidate Darren Bailey delayed after Tribune raised ethics law questions

This comes after Bailey had violated the same law by holding a fundraiser in Joliet:

GOP governor candidate Darren Bailey held fundraiser on legislative session day in apparent violation of ban

How extensive is Bailey's ignorance of campaign finance law? Bailey recently held a fundraiser in the Broadview Six grand jury room -- and while US Attorney Andrew Boutros was improperly influencing that same grand jury:

U.S. attorney acknowledges speech to ‘Broadview 6’ grand jury as calls for his resignation mount

Coming up: You are cordially invited to a fundraiser to benefit Darren Bailey. Address to be provided by the Nuclear Power Agency of Iran.

Air of Confusion

The tinfoil theocrats at the McHenry County Blog are fuming. They are fuming over leaf burning. Leaf burning creates air pollution and air pollution makes people with respiratory ailments suffer:

Oh for the days after Republican Governor Richard B. Ogilvie signed legislation preventing open burning.
Where McHenry County Allows Those with Asthma To Suffer

There was a time, back in the day, when leaf burning was banned:

That was when we could sleep with our windows open.
Richmond Leaf Vacuuming Making Me Envious Again on Friday

They are also fuming over something else -- mosquito spraying. They are fuming because their municipality is -- wait for it -- not polluting the air with insecticides:

The mosquito abatement of unincorporated areas in Algonquin Township, but not in municipalities has been a pet peeve of mine for years. Why should those living outside municipalities get spraying, but not my neighborhood in Lakewood?
Algonquin Township Board Considering Cessation of Mosquito Spraying in Unincorporated Areas

Note to Ops: Repeated exposure to compromised air may lead to long-term cognitive impairment. In related news, the weather man says when in McHenry County to watch out for dense brain fog.

May Newsletter from the Lake County Clerk's Office

May Newsletter from the Lake County Clerk's Office

Agents of Shields

Here's the setup: Township trustees are poorly compensated, therefore it is often difficult to fill township seats. This is where local businesses see their opportunity. Just pack those seats with trustees who will vote for township projects that benefit local businesses. What could go wrong?

HaHa, it's called the Annual Township Meeting -- where once a year in April, the reins of township government are handed over to the voters:

In a well-attended Shields Township meeting last month, residents voted "overwhelmingly" to strip Shields of the ability to purchase, sell or lease property, according to township staff.
Residents strip Shields Township of leasing power: 'The public made their point'

It's looking like Shields Township won't be making any capital expenditures, at least before the courts sort everything out. One local businessman told your LakeCountyEye: "We might as well just abolish township government, if it can't be relied on any more to spread around the wealth."

Next Week: Townships are required to maintain public cemeteries -- while "cemetery vote" refers to deceased people who show up at the polls. Coincidence?

Hunt Club Park Playground Ribbon Cutting Ceremony and Renaming Celebration

Hunt Club Park Playground Ribbon Cutting Ceremony and Renaming Celebration

All We are Saying is Give Peace Pole a Chance

Overheard during an anti-war protest in downtown Lake Zurich: "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here -- this is the Peace Pole!"

HaHa. The peace pole is the new third rail of Lake County politics:

Ela Township's "peace pole" — etched with the word "peace" in 60 different languages — has become the center of community strife. At Wednesday's Committee of the Whole meeting, about a dozen residents voiced support for the peace pole and more than 30 emails were included in the agenda packet endorsing it and criticizing Trustee Larry Bowman for allegedly raising the possibility of its removal.
Ela Township peace pole becomes subject of community strife: 'Symbol of peace and justice'

Legally speaking, the pole belongs to the Township, and as such the Township would bear any legal liabilities.

One anti-peace-pole partisan said: "It's only a matter of time before the guy who rams into the Long Grove Bridge will ram into the peace pole. And now you're talking to his personal injury attorney."

Operatives are asked to insert their own "10-foot pole" joke here.

Trumped Up

Check out this actual unretouched screencap from the McHenry County Blog:

An untutored choice of words coming from the tinfoil theocrats at the McHenry County Blog -- who, in their defense, are coming from McHenry County. The correct choice of words is: DEI Hires

EtO Power

It is obvious by now that the Trump administration has packed the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration with climate change deniers. When Lake County stormwater managers asked when they can declare a flood emergency, a National Weather Service meteorologist said: "Whatever floats your boat."

HaHa. The rain may have stopped but it may not be safe to go outdoors just yet. The White House has also gutted Biden-era EPA safety restrictions on ethylene oxide emissions:

the E.P.A. replaced the 2024 regulations with a less stringent set. It justified this action by saying that it had been wrong to reëvaluate the risks of ethylene oxide in the first place, because it lacked the authority to do so. Coincidentally or not, the sterilizer industry's trade group had made this same argument in a 2024 legal filing.
Can the E.P.A. Survive Lee Zeldin?

Moreover, companies that didn't want to comply with even those relaxed restrictions could simply ...

apply for exemptions. All they had to do was send an e-mail to the agency. (The Administration described the waivers as necessary for "national security interests.")
Can the E.P.A. Survive Lee Zeldin?

One environmental watchdog said: "An industry member can always voluntarily observe the stronger ethylene oxide emission standards. But don't hold your breath."

Next week: Make America Healthy Again.