Friday, April 13, 2012

Some Dissembly Required

Have you heard the one about the Sheriff who wanted to work from home so he had himself arrested? Haha, Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran was on track to stage his annual publicity stunt, where according to his press release, Curran would spend a week in his ...
jail as a show of faith he personally has in his corrections personnel. Given the recent publicity regarding events that have occurred in the jail, Sheriff Curran would like to take this opportunity to highlight the realities of the exceptional treatment of the inmates at the jail, as well as the dedication of the correctional officers that serve them.
As readers of this blog are legally aware ...
An Unscheduled Outage
"recent publicity" refers to the deaths of County inmates and their pending investigation & litigation. And then early this week, Curran's ballyhooed sojourn to his hoosegow was abruptly cancelled because of a "scheduling conflict". In other words, a Sheriff Department's previously-scheduled event was now being cancelled on account of a scheduling conflict. Haha. Cooler heads had nodoubt prevailed in Waukegan and Curran's trip to the cooler was, on legal advice, put on ice.

Are they even trying to keep up appearances in the Lake County Sheriff's Department? If so, c'mon, there are more plausible excuses for scuttling your planned media spectacle than appealing to a scheduling conflict. Your LakeCountyEye has at least 10 on file:

Ten Much Better Official Excuses for Cancelling that Planned Event
  1. Want to spend more time with the family
  2. Invited to throw the first pitch at the Fielder's opening game
  3. Delayed in a monster jam at a Lake County traffic circle
  4. Jury duty!
  5. Stayed up late watching Lockup on cable
  6. Spent the carfare on Mega Million tickets
  7. Snatched some Nicki Minaj tickets that night -- she's the shyt
  8. Will be setting up the DUI checkpoints on the Route 53 Extension
  9. Got a tee-time at Fort Sheridan
  10. Just plain ran out of b.s.

Look for your LakeCountyEye blogging near a McDonald's Wi-Fi near you. For a week.

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