Sunday, April 22, 2012

Scott Walker Inc®

Of the 100s of press releases that pass through the Inbox every day, this one caught your LakeCountyEye's eye:

Scott Walker Is Open For Business!

Business as usual.You reserved the best room in town. You invited all your A-List guests. But that topgun hotshot keynote speaker you booked, as it turns out, is a tenderfoot shooting blanks. The only sound heard all night is the sound of crickets. And then the caterer hands you his bill.

Do not blunder yourself again into every political event planner's worst nightmare -- because Scott Walker Inc® is open for business! Scott Walker Inc® has exclusively retained the services of America's most sought-after political speaker, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker. Contact Scott Walker Inc® now, and that uninspired fundraiser of yours is guaranteed to become the over-booked media-sensation that the average political event planner can only dream of.

Scott Walker Inc® is prepared to deliver to your event, and on time, the media lightning-rod:
Scott Walker
  • Republican Governor of a Diminishing Rust Belt State
  • Union Buster
  • Media Lightning Rod
Every booking comes complete with a Triple-A-List of wealthy donor contacts, suitable for your host committee, including the Koch brothers and Ted Nugent.

And don't be misled by that (R) after Scott Walker(R)'s name. Media Lightning Rod Scott Walker is guaranteed to draw busloads not only of Republicans but Democrats as well. Every booking comes with a list of focus-group-tested insults to hurl at Mr Walker:
  • Snot Walker
  • Scott Silly Walker
Here is just one unsolicited testimonial culled from quite a few actually, courtesy Chicagoland's newspaper of record, the Patch:
With chants of "Union busting is disgusting" and "Hey, hey, ho, ho, Scott Walker's got to go," more than 200 union members from Illinois and Wisconsin lined the entrance to the Marriott Lincolnshire early Friday evening to give a message to Walker and Illinois Republicans. Walker was slated to speak later Friday night to the annual gathering of the Lake County Republican Federation at the hotel. The union members wanted to give a message to the local members of Walker's party his brand of politics is not welcome in Illinois.
Protesters Greet Wisconsin Governor in Lincolnshire
One call to Scott Walker Inc® is money in your campaign coffer. Do not delay, act now. All offers void after June 5, 2012.

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