Thursday, May 17, 2012

Old Yeller

red light green lightDan Duffy, Lake County's inconsequential Senator in Springfield, has a new yellow jacket under bee in his bonnet. Recently seen on this blog driving through some red lights ...
Caught Red Handed
Duffy has spent a good part of his political career seeking to get his Bills -- those that would abolish Illinois's red light cameras -- out of committee. It seems that Duffy is now aiming his sights a bit lower, at the yellow light instead. According to the Daily Herald ...
A plan to extend yellow lights by one second at intersections with red-light cameras has been placed in political purgatory. The proposal, sponsored by state Sen. Dan Duffy, a Republican from Lake Barrington, and Rep. Ed Sullivan, a Republican from Mundelein, was approved by the Senate in March. But House Speaker Michael Madigan hasn't released it from the House's Rules Committee, so it won't be debated.
Duffy yellow light plan stalls
Your LakeCountyEye had a couple more Duffy jokes in the hopper, but frankly is dumbstruck by that Daily Herald headline ...
Duffy yellow light plan stalls
Is that the best the Daily Herald can do for a sitting State Senator? Are they outsourcing their headline writing chores to non-English-speaking minimum-wage contractors? In Wisconsin? Or something?

Erm, why not just let your LakeCountyEye donate these 10 crappy, but at least better, headlines into the Public Domain, no questions asked?

Ten Headlines to Use with a Story on Dan Duffy's Yellow Light Proposal
  1. Duffy Yellow-Light Plan Gets the Red Light
  2. Duffy Yellow-Light Plan Gets the Green Light ... NOT!
  3. Duffy Yellow-Light Plan Gets the Lake County Roundabout
  4. It's Lights Out for the Duffy Yellow-Light Plan
  5. No Light at End of Tunnel for Duffy Yellow-Light Plan
  6. Duffy Yellow-Light Plan Sent Down the Route 53 Extension
  7. Illinois House Blackballs Duffy Yellow-Light Plan
  8. There's Nothing in the Middle of the Road but Yellow Stripes and Duffy's Dead Yellow-Light Plan
  9. If the Duffy Yellow-Light Plan was One of the Avengers it would be Yellow-Light-Plan-Man
  10. Duffy Yellow-Light Plan T-Boned at the Intersection of Screw You and The Horse You Rode In On

Look for your LakeCountyEye on a horse at a roundabout near you.

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