We Didn't Start the Fire

Note to Ops in McHenry County: When you hear someone shout FIRE! do not automatically assume it is a signal to discharge your weapons.

No, the building might be on fire:

Fire spread quickly through D'Andrea Banquets and Conference Center in Crystal Lake, leaving parts of the roof collapsed and the building a total loss, fire officials said.
D'Andrea Banquets in Crystal Lake 'total loss' following fire

The hall was a favorite haunt of McHenry County Republicans.  It was where they held their annual Lincoln dinner:

One veteran fire investigator told your LakeCountyEye: "This was clearly an Act of God. Anyone who dances with the devil that many times is going to get burned."

Take the Trains ... Please

The Easter Bunny hopped by and he left you this pop quiz:

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road in Lake County?

A: The chicken was a freight train in a chicken costume.

HaHa. When the Kansas City Southern gets bought by the Canadian Pacific Railway, Lake County will be on track to see even more commercial rail traffic:

Should the merger be approved, freight traffic will increase 380% on just the tracks owned Metra, according to an objection the commuter railway filed with the Transportation Safety Board in March. It will also further block traffic at grade crossings in Grayslake, Barrington and locations not part of Metra's network.
Lake County Board opposes proposed train merger; ‘Ambulances and police will not be able to get where they need to go’

A spokesman for the competing Canadian National Railway said: "We vehemently oppose the merger between Canadian Pacific Railway and Kansas City Southern. How are we supposed to move our exploding bomb trains through Lake County, if the tracks are all clogged up with Canadian Pacific freight?"

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Burn Baby Burn

Did you know that there is a carcinogenic pollutant that may be in the air you are breathing right now? The County, to its credit, is taking steps to mitigate the spread of this airborne toxin. At the same time, some elected officials continue to oppose these safety measures.

Is your LakeCountyEye is referring to ethylene oxide gas emissions?  No.  The carcinogen is smoke from burning leaves.

Indiscriminate leaf burning has been proscribed in unincorporated Lake County:

The measure, described as a step toward protecting public health, replaced a temporary ban enacted more than two years ago due to potential respiratory impacts from the coronavirus. Woody materials can be burned in small fires all year and in larger ones from Nov. 1 to March 31 under the new rules. But leaf burning will be prohibited.
Leaf disposal, cost an issue for some as burning ban nears in Lake County

County Board members Linda Pedersen and J Kevin Hunter, for instance, remain critical of efforts to reduce the amount of smoke particles in Lake County air.

What up with that? One Republican Party spokesman said: "Nothing to see here. Cough. Cough Cough."

Risk to Limb and Limb

The first McHenry County gun owner to shoot himself in the foot this week, failed to also shoot someone else in the foot. He was only able to shoot the other guy in the arm:

A McHenry man in his 50s who works for a Waukegan gun range injured himself and another man when he accidentally fired a weapon Friday afternoon, authorities said.
McHenry man accidentally fires pistol, injuring himself and another man at Waukegan gun range

One McHenry County expert trigger man told your LakeCountyEye: "When going for a two-pointer, always shoot the other dude's foot first. That way you get the element of surprise."

Buffalo Clips

Do you desire a home where the buffalo roam? Well, look no farther than Hawthorn Woods:

It looks like a famous bison on the run is making a new appearance in Lake County, Illinois. A woman took video of the large trespasser in the northern suburb of Hawthorn Woods Friday. Runaway buffalo 'Tyson the Bison' makes new appearance, caught on video in Hawthorn Woods

A spokesman welcomed the Village's newest celebrity ungulate: "Please enjoy Hawthorn Woods's 18 park sites that provide a variety of amenities including walking trails. In deference to Mr Bison's stay, shoes are mandated."

The Village of Buffalo Grove sent a cease and desist letter. "Any partnership between the Village of Hawthorn Woods and Mr Bison will be viewed as an infringement upon the Village of Buffalo Grove's trademark claims upon the word Buffalo."

Uncowed, a Village of Hawthorn Woods spokesman said: "And don't forget to visit the Village's Aquatic Park. Be sure to sample the Buffalo Water Wings at the concession stand."

From Russia with Love

An actual unretouched screencap from the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source:

What is a ocv.im/6UBRUFC?

To find out, your LakeCountyEye asked Google Translate:

The Russian Troll Farms that supply the Lake County Gazette with exclusive content were unavailable for comment.

Bum Steers

Open prairies, no doubt, are a good thing. But this is ridiculous:

Four of the Texas longhorns spotted around Johnsburg and Spring Grove are still at large, Johnsburg police said late Friday morning.
Texas longhorns still on the loose around Johnsburg, police say

One school got a new enrollee:

A roaming calf was spotted outside Johnsburg Junior High School Thursday morning, which officials at the school said was one of a few stops it made through town that day.
Texas longhorns still on the loose around Johnsburg, police say

According to experts, the Texas Longhorn is a breed with horns that can extend to over 8 feet.

A spokesman for Tyson the Bison issued a statement: "Texas is sending its rapists and drug dealers into Lake County. We need to build a wall along the McHenry County border to stop them."

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Git along little dogies.

The Travelling Sales Tax

An actual unretouched screencap from the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source:

And an actual unretouched screencap of the Lake County Gazette, from the same day:

Exactly how much Deer Park sales tax was collected in 2021? Nobody knows.

One thing is known.  The Lake County Gazette and the people of Russia get their news from the same source: the Russian State Media.

Operatives are challenged to guess which random numbers the Russian Troll Farms will be circulating tomorrow.

Politically Incorrect

CORRECTION ALERT!

Sharpeyed readers of this blog have spoken. Your LakeCountyEye erred in:

Better to Build a Bridge than a Wall

It was claimed that Republican Lake County Clerk Robin O'Connor was not driving the truck that struck the Long Grove bridge. This is incorrect. The correct statement should be that Lake County's Metra Citizen's Advisory Board Member Larry Falbe was not driving the truck that struck the Long Grove bridge.

Your LakeCountyEye regrets the error.

Better to Build a Bridge than a Wall

Whoever said ...

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

never anticipated the Long Grove covered bridge:

Yet another truck got stuck under the cover of Long Grove's iconic bridge, authorities said Thursday. This is the 30th time a truck has struck the bridge cover since it was reopened in August 2020 following repairs from a previous collision
Yet another truck gets stuck on Long Grove bridge

Republican Lake County Clerk Robin O'Connor was not driving the truck.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

The Ballot In Question

Lake County moneybags Richard Uihlein wants to cancel the next election and he has the firepower to do it:

The Voter Reference Foundation is putting the nation's voter rolls online while making unsupported claims suggesting election fraud. The group's funding can be traced to a Super PAC funded by the CEO of Uline.
Billionaire-Backed Group Enlists Trump-Supporting Citizens to Hunt for Voter Fraud Using Discredited Techniques

Uihlein's foundation is putting personal voter registration information and voting history on the Internet:

In early August, the foundation published on its website the names, birthdates, addresses and voting histories for 2 million Nevada voters,
Billionaire-Backed Group Enlists Trump-Supporting Citizens to Hunt for Voter Fraud Using Discredited Techniques

And Uihlein's foundation will use fuzzy math and chicanery to show that elections are all rigged:

officials said that the methodology used to identify the discrepancies was flawed, the data incomplete or the math wrong.
Billionaire-Backed Group Enlists Trump-Supporting Citizens to Hunt for Voter Fraud Using Discredited Techniques

The message to Lake County is clear: For the love of God, don't vote ever again!

Who is your first line of defense against this foreign onslaught?  Republican Lake County Clerk Robin O'Connor.

Operatives are asked to insert their own joke here.

The Yuletides of March

An actual unretouched screencap from Lake County's #1 fakenews source, the Lake County Gazette:

If you believe the Lake County Gazette, it's never too early to early to start your Christmas shopping.

The Russian Troll Farms that supply the Lake County Gazette with exclusive content, naturally enough assume you will be giving something to your bartender on Christmas:

A bottle of Russian vodka would be perfect.

Third World War

Lake County has been sad witness to a government entity exerting illegal sovereignty over its independent neighbors. Your LakeCountyEye of course is referring to the Village of Third Lake and nearby residents of unincorporated areas.

HaHa, despite lacking jurisdiction, the Village of Third Lake wants to impose boat fees on unincorporated residents with homes on Third Lake:

Village of Third Lake
ORDINANCE NO. 22-02-02

NATO forces are not expected to intervene.

Wearing Nothing But a Smile

WooHoo, your LakeCountyEye learned COVID restrictions will be eased on Monday.

In related news, while indoor mask mandates are to be lifted in Lake County, indoor pants mandates have been already been dropped in Fox Lake:

A Fox Lake village trustee was captured on camera exposing his buttocks to one or more village employees inside village hall in October of 2019, but officials call the act "unfortunate" and say there was nor will be any disciplinary response.
Fox Lake security cameras captured elected official exposing himself at village hall in 2019

One village elder told your LakeCountyEye: "It will be good to see all of those rosy cheeks once again."

Badgering the Witless

Breaking international news: Lake County moneybags Richard Uihlein is supporting for Governor some guy from Wisconsin:

Liz and Richard Uihlein have a candidate to back, or so it appears, and Kevin Nicholson is that candidate. He's a Wisconsin native
Uihleins give their support to Kevin Nicholson

Can a Wisconsin citizen be the Governor of Illinois? Citing the long commute from a Green Bay or Eau Claire to Springfield, one legal scholar said the answer was "if not a no then at the very least ill-conceived."

Uihlein owns Uline Inc, which is located 20 miles north of Lake County in Wisconsin. One cognitive scientist warned that if you live in one state but work in another, "it's quite easy to lose your bearings. In more ways than one."

Last but not least, one business expert told your LakeCountyEye:  "Crazy?  Maybe crazy like a fox. You can get labor at 50 cents on the dollar if you hire it in Wisconsin."

Take the Money and Run

Good news, today's pop quiz is multiple choice:

Q: Why did Uline move its headquarters in Lake County 20 miles north to Wisconsin?

1. For the highly educated and skilled workforce?
2. For the warm and sunny climate?
3. For the cheddar?

HaHa, Uline owner and Lake County moneybags Richard Uihlein donated $1,000,000 to Darren Bailey.

Uihlein made the generous donation because Darren Bailey is a Republican candidate for Illinois Governor.

In related news, Lake County Clerk Robin O'Connor announced that she not only will be switching parties -- from Democrat to Republican -- but she now will be running for Illinois Governor instead of County Clerk.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Bailey Money

Perennial Lake County moneybags Richard Uihlein is at it again. Uihlein donated $1,000,000 to Darren Bailey:

Conservative megadonor Richard Uihlein gives $1 million to state Sen. Darren Bailey’s GOP bid for governor

Who is Darren Bailey? Nobody knows.

Your LakeCountyEye put on some gumshoes and discovered that Bailey is a candidate for Governor. In Illinois.

And as if that can't bust your britches, Darren Bailey is also a farmer from McHenry County downstate Illinois. Bailey's farm produces corn, wheat and soybeans.

The farm, as far as your LakeCountyEye can tell, does not produce any dairy products. That would be Richard Uihlein's job. To produce the cheddar.

Start Spreading the News

Your LakeCountyEye got the scoop: Lake County is being galvanized by the Lake County News Dispatch.

What is the Lake County News Dispatch? Nothing less than Lake County's newest source of news:

Lake County News Dispatch

And who is the Lake County News Dispatch?

We are dedicated to aggregating news from local sources for you, as well as adding some of our own reporting on key topics of interest regarding Lake County Illinois.
About Lake County News Dispatch

The Lake County News Dispatch has the news and plenty of it. What more could you ask from your news source?

OK, it goes without saying that the Daily Herald may be Lake County's newspaper of record. But if their motto is "to fear God, tell the truth and make money", the Daily Herald has nothing on the Lake County News Dispatch.

Stop the Steal

There is no truth to the rumor that Lake County Clerk Robin O'Connor filed for re-election as a Republican candidate this time because she screwed up the paperwork:

Lake County Clerk Robin O'Connor is switching parties in a bid for reelection to a second term.
Democratic Lake County Clerk Robin O'Connor switching parties for reelection run

Since she is the Lake County Clerk, after O'Connor becomes a Republican, she will have to get up to speed on how the 2020 election was stolen from Donald Trump:

• Dominion voting machines changed and deleted votes for Trump
• Sharpie markers invalidated Trump votes
• Mail-in voting is rife with fraud
• People were throwing out bags of ballots and "finding" suitcases full of ballots
• Poll watchers were blocked from observing
• There were thousands of votes by dead people and people voting multiple times

6 conspiracy theories about the 2020 election

Robin O'Connor will also have to get up to speed on how to ensure that Lake County elects Donald Trump in 2024:

Seven ways Republicans are already undermining the 2024 election

One Republican Party boss told your LakeCountyEye: "If the Lake County Clerk ever eventually manages to preform her job competently, Lake County will be in the red again in no time!"

A McLaughlin Matter

Martin McLaughlin is angry about an Illinois legislator, and public health bill HB 4640:

"This legislator obviously does not understand what her job is, or where her authority lies as an elected state representative," McLaughlin told the Lake County Gazette

McLaughlin is angry about the language contained in the bill, which ...

would allow the state to "isolate or quarantine persons who are unable or unwilling to receive vaccines, medications, or other treatments."

Anyone who took time to read HB 4640, however, would see that the objectionable provision ...

"isolate or quarantine persons who are unable or unwilling to receive vaccines, medications, or other treatments"

is actually part of the existing law, and not a revision.

Full Text of HB4640 102nd General Assembly

Existing law and revisions to existing law are totally different.

The Capitol Fax says about McLaughlin:

It's insane that people are this ignorant.
Who doesn’t understand their job, Rep. McLaughlin? It sure looks like it’s you

The Bill's sponsor says about McLaughlin:

This uneducated legislator is part of the reason I am now in this situation. I hope it is worth it for him when he closes his eyes with no worries at night.
Who doesn’t understand their job, Rep. McLaughlin? It sure looks like it’s you

One fictitious policy expert told your LakeCountyEye: "It's a good thing that ignorant, uneducated Martin McLaughlin is merely an Ex-Mayor of Barrington Hills. If he was a Lake County State Legislator I'd be worried."

Gainsaying the Lede

Lake County is in the 11th Congressional District. Who knew? Lake County's newspaper of record, the Daily Herald knew.

The Herald looked at who is raising money in the 11th and how much.

Incumbent Congressman Bill Foster's ...

fundraising total for the final quarter of 2021 vastly exceeded any of his Republican challengers' efforts

Foster's closest competitor is Catalina Lauf.

The nearly $4.3 million Foster had in his political war chest at the end of the year dwarfed Lauf's $255,976 reserves

For 2021, Foster and Lauf raised roughly the same amount of money:

although both candidates have raised more than $1 million so far this election cycle, Lauf's total receipts were slightly ahead of Foster's as of Dec. 31

Given these numbers, naturally the headline of the Daily Herald story is:

1 GOP challenger outraising Foster in 11th District race

Bait-and-switch or just clickbait? One thing is known, your LakeCountyEye checked the archives and found these memorable headlines from past Daily Herald stories:

• Cleveland Hall-of-Famer Jim Thome Throws Ceremonial First Pitch in Game 7 of Cubs World Series
  (2016)
• Hindenburg Arrives Right on Schedule
  (1937)
• We Ask Mrs Lincoln: "How Did You Like the Play?"
  (1865)

Next week: "The Headline Writer Deserves a Big Raise"

The Big Lie Under Oath

Just like deja vu all over again, it's Groundhog Day all over again. According to legend, when the Groundhog sees his shadow that predicts six more weeks of circulating petitions.

HaHa, March 14 is the last day to file your nominating petition for the 2022 Primary. Which means: Have you signed your Loyalty Oath?

Every candidate can submit an Illinois Loyalty Oath, and when you do, be sure to read the fine print:

I am not affiliated directly or indirectly with any communist organization or any communist front organization, or any foreign political agency, party, organization or government which advocates the overthrow of constitutional government by force or other means not permitted under the Constitution of the United States or the Constitution of this State; that I do not directly or indirectly teach or advocate the overthrow of the government of the United States or of this State or any unlawful change in the form of the governments thereof by force or any unlawful means.

Signing this oath means you do not advocate the overthrow of the government of the United States:

Loyalty Oath (SBE Form P-1C)

Note to Ops: Anyone shown otherwise could be charged with perjury.

It's the law!

The Truth in Lending

Mark Curran wants to be your next Illinois Supreme Court Justice. And he needs your donations.

HaHa, J/K. Lake County favorite son Mark Curran didn't even raise $2,000 last quarter:

Curran was eclipsed by both of his opponents, John Noverini and Daniel Shanes, by a factor of fifty to one.

Everyone knows who Daniel Shanes is, but who is John Noverini?

Noverini is a candidate who lent himself $89,000 from out of his PAC on Oct 4, near the beginning of the reporting period:

He then loaned $95,000 back to the PAC on Dec 31, the last day of the reporting period:

This means for the entire Oct 1 to Dec 21 reporting period, the money was deposited in John Noverini's PAC for a total of 5 days. For the remainder of that time, the money was in Noverini's pocket. And despite everything, Noverini could still claim a fifty-to-one fundraising advantage over Mark Curran.

Note to Ops: It takes brains to be a Supreme Court Justice.

Less-Than Signs

Your LakeCountyEye has spotted an important new trend. Two years ago there was a primary election, and 2022 will have a primary election as well.

And if that don't beat all, Lake County favorite son Mark Curran will be on your primary ballot again. Curran wants to be your next Illinois Supreme Court Justice.

Curran's opponents have outraised him in the last quarter by a factor of fifty-to-one:

But perennial candidates like Mark Curran have something better than money: ballot name recognition.  His 2020 yardsigns have been seen by motorists up and down the state:

Also, there is an election life-hack that is exclusively available to perennnial candidates. Candidates shouldn't throw away old campaign material. These can be repurposed instead:

No one else will be any wiser, while you save 98 cents on the dollar!

Some Additional Shipping Fees

What are the two happiest days in a boater's life? When he buys his boat and when he sells the boat.

The moral of the story? Never rent a boat.

HaHa, the Village of Third Lake does not want you renting any boats either. Because they do not know how to tax you:

Village of Third Lake Board
Committee of the Whole Meeting
December 6, 2021 Minutes

Note to Ops: If you do rent a boat on Third Lake make sure it is equipped with a radar detector. Just sayin!

Get Rich Quick

Like Port Barrington, which has no port, the new casino in Waukegan has no casino:

Designs for Full House Resorts' temporary American Place casino in Waukegan are proceeding, as the company continues on its path to open its initial gaming establishment in July ahead of a permanent resort in approximately two years.
Plans coming together for July opening of temporary Waukegan casino, initial hiring of 'hundreds of people'

With no one able to wait for a real casino built in Waukegan, a quick-and-dirty short-term bivouac will be fabricated, and put on-line for at least the foreseeable future:

the temporary casino will be approximately 65,000 square feet. Sprung Structures will build the facility quickly with an aluminum frame and membrane covering. "It's like a high-tension tent"
Plans coming together for July opening of temporary Waukegan casino, initial hiring of 'hundreds of people'

How does a pop-up gambling den square-up with current Illinois law? Men from the Gambling Commission were on-hand explain it all for you:

Oldest Established Permanent Floating Crap Game

Gambling problem?
Dial: 1-800-522-4700

An Ounce of Prevention is Worth a Pound of Cure

Playing against type, the McHenryCountyBlog is uncowed. They are uncowed by the risks of COVID -- believing that Cook County vaccination mandates will directly benefit businesses in McHenry County:

If you go there to escape the tyranny of being vaccinated, however, don't try to book a room in a McHenry County hospital:

The number of people admitted to the hospital with COVID-19 hit a pandemic record during the last week of December
McHenry County hospital admissions at record level for COVID-19
Rise in virus cases puts pressure on local hospital systems

While the McHenry County hospitals are full, it is unknown if the same goes for the McHenry County bughouse. The dogmatic theocrats at the McHenryCountyBlog might know.

The Barmy of Avon

Public health officials have issued a warning alert for Avon Township. Residents there are being asked to refrain from discharging their firearms into the ground. It would appear that Avon Township is accumulating too much lead in its groundwater.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Dressed to Swill?

Does that ugly sweater from your significant Santa make all the sugar-plums want to scatter? Next year give each of your gift-providers a ...

Lake County Gazette Christmas Gift Guide: Top Beer Gifts

For the record, your LakeCountyEye drinks a size 4 IPA, off the rack.

Bonus Fact: Content for the Lake County Gazette (Lake County's #1 fakenews source) is provided by Russian misinformation bots.

The Heavenly Heist

Face it. No one ever makes good on their New Year's resolutions. So why not sign up for a LakeCountyEye MasterClass^® instead?

Enroll today to be eligible for this week's LakeCountyEye MasterClass:

How to Draw Pictures in the Style of the Creepy Tribune Cartoonist^®

Lesson #1
Find some clipart on the Internet:

Collection of Mary And Joseph Silhouette Clip Art

Lesson #2
Flip the image and then squish it.  Imbue that sketch with some aesthetic street-cred:

Lesson #3
Then copy-and-paste into your picture:

CHRISTMAS; NO ROOM AT THE INN; UNDERSTAFFING

Lesson #4
Now draw a fig-leaf for the Tribune Creepy Cartoonist. He got nothing on you.

Hurry! Supplies are limited.

Which of These People are Behind Bars?

Dick Barr, a Lake County Board Commissioner, alleges that his car was robbed on Christmas Eve. His proof is a porch-cam video of his driveway:

Lake County board member says his car was burglarized twice on Christmas Eve while he was delivering presents

Did Dick Barr file a police report? If not, then why not? If someone broke into your car on your driveway, wouldn't you call the police?

In Chicago there is a code of silence that they call don't snitch:

It's an old problem and an old code — "don't snitch." And it exists everywhere. But in Chicago, where homicides and shootings are up significantly this year, that old code is leaving a rising number of violent crimes unsolved.
In Chicago, Violence Soars And Witnesses Go Silent

But isn't Lake County supposed to be better than Chicago? Shouldn't Dick Barr march right down to the Round Lake Beach Police Headquarters and tell them everything he knows?  If he hasn't already, why hasn't he?

And Dick Barr absolutely needs to show the police the video.  That's because even though Lake County has not seen any snow since last March, the video shows a solid coat of snow on the ground. And Dick Barr, an actual elected Lake County Board Commissioner, will need to explain where all that snow came from.

Because the police aren't stupid.

Some Guys Belong Behind Bars

Lake County Board Member Dick Barr filed an unbelievable report on social media, claiming his car was burglarized at his Round Lake Beach home, twice on Christmas Eve:

Lake County Board Member Dick Barr posted security camera videos early Christmas Day on social media showing his car being burglarized twice. The security camera video showed a masked suspect getting out of the passenger side of a vehicle and running up to Barr's vehicle that was parked in the driveway of his Round Lake Beach home.
Lake County board member says his car was burglarized twice on Christmas Eve while he was delivering presents

This is a photo from Barr's video:

Now, anyone who lives in Lake County knows there hasn't been any snow on the ground since last March -- unlike what you see in Dick Barr's photo:

Your LakeCountyEye checked the Round Lake Beach weather report:

The temperature there on Dec 24 was a balmy 54 degrees. Precipitation was .02 inches (about average for the Gobi desert).

Source:

Weather History for KILROUND40 (Round Lake Beach)

Your LakeCountyEye suspects the perp got away with a load of baloney.

Sneezin's Greetings

Did Santa Claus bring a COVID test-kit and put one in your stocking? If Santa had read the label correctly he would have put it in your nose.

HaHa.

There is good news for anyone who lives in Lake County. You are less likely to have COVID than those who live in McHenry County. Twice as less likely as those in Wisconsin:

New cases of COVID-19 in Lake County increased 72.23% in the past week, to 370.4 per 100,000 residents as of Friday, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website. In suburban Cook County, the average is 299.83 new cases, a 62.16% jump. The numbers are more pronounced in McHenry County to the west, with 521.81 new cases per 100,000 residents, a 56.38% increase; and across the state line in Kenosha County, Wisconsin, the average is 821, a jump of 77%, according to the CDC.
Lake County’s COVID cases increase, as it continues to lead state in vaccination rate

The bad news is Santa had been down every chimney in McHenry County before he even flew into your town. And every chimney in Wisconsin as well. So whatever it is that Santa left under your tree, creosote is the least of your worries.

2021 Xmas holiday hack: The Ivermectin you got from your MAGA uncle is FDA approved for use on reindeer.

What a Nudge

How bad does hasbeen Lake County favorite son Ted Nugent want to gin up sales for his new CD? So bad, he sent a copy to the President:

TED NUGENT Says He Sent A Copy Of His Latest 'Pro-Gun' Song To President JOE BIDEN

The CD, which contains these lyrics ...

Come and take it
Go ahead and try go ahead and die

comes with high hopes to be a big hit when played at the next State of the Union Address.

In related news, an environmentally conscious Lake County will be banning single-use plastics:

In what was described as a small but important step, the Lake County Board on Tuesday adopted a policy banning the use of single-use plastics at its operations by Jan. 1, 2023.
Lake County Board adopts policy banning single-use plastics by 2023

A County official told your LakeCountyEye: "Absolutely, Ted Nugent's CD will be covered by the ban. Nobody ever listens to a Ted Nugent record more than one time."

Secret Weapon

There are many revelations yet to be disclosed by the Capitol Riot Investigation. One of the most shocking is that the President has a Secret Santa: Ted Nugent.

HaHa.

Honorary Lake County favorite son Ted Nugent sent one of his songs to Joe Biden for Christmas. Nugent says the ballad ...

is a love song to the punks in our government who think that they have the right to infringe on our constitutionally guaranteed, God-given individual freedoms. So I sent them a love song. In fact, I sent a copy of 'Come And Take It' to [U.S. president] Joe Biden
TED NUGENT Says He Sent A Copy Of His Latest ‘Pro-Gun’ Song To President JOE BIDEN

Come and take it
Come and take it
Go ahead and try go ahead and die
Come and take it

Come and Take It
Ted Nugent

There is no truth to the rumor that Ted Nugent's Secret Santa is a Secret Service agent.

What's the Beef?

That sound of a roaring freight train you hear is not a deadly tornado. It is a deadly freight train:

It's 2013 again, only instead of Barrington leading the charge against the Canadian National's acquisition of the EJ & E Railroad, this time several suburbs along the Irving Park Road corridor are organizing to oppose Canadian Pacific's merger with Kansas City Southern.
Suburbanites have till Friday to speak up about rail merger

More trains on the ground will mean more money in the pocket of someone, to say the least.

An industry spokesman told your LakeCountyEye: "Of course, any increase in rail traffic will mean an increase in exploding oil trains. We are taking all the necessary safeguards by installing extra-heavy-duty cow-catchers on all of our engines."

Tyson the Bison, Lake County's runaway buffalo, was unavailable for comment.

Oh Give Me a Home

Do you have a lost pet? Sadly, the Sheriff's Dept does not have the resources to help. If your pet is an American Bison however, well that's another story:

Authorities said the owner of the animal reported it missing to the Lake County Sheriff's Office in mid-September.
Sheriff warns residents not to approach ‘Tyson the Bison’ which has been on loose for months in Lake County

This lost bison ...

is making a name for herself in the Cary area, an hour northwest of Chicago, with citizens posting photos and videos of her on Facebook, along with jokes and statements of support. A local artist has painted a portrait of the wily bovine — dubbed Billy by her fans.
A runaway buffalo roams the streets of suburban Cary, inspiring social media posts, art and Sasquatch comparisons: ‘Are we dreaming this?’

Going by several aliases -- such as "Tyson the Byson" and "Buffalo Billy" -- the runaway ungulate has eluded capture because no one knows exactly which name they need to to call out. One thing is known, there are ten names the bison does not answer to:

10 Rejected Names for the Lake County Lost Bison

Joe Blow the Buffalo Terramycin the Bison Covid the Bovid Buffalo Bill Barr Lice In the Bison Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Buffalo Chip The Grove Formerly Known as Buffalo The Notorious B.I.S.O.N. Yertle the Bison

Look for your LakeCountyEye in Buffalo NY.

The Revolution Will Not be Tote-Bag-ized

Question of the Day: Why are Governors Ron DeSantis and Greg Abbott, US Senator Ted Cruz, and US Reps Jeff Duncan, Bill Posey and Lauren Boebert all chanting Let's Go Brandon?

The short Answer:

Let's Go Brandon

is the alt-right's new rebel yell.

It is ...

a euphemism that many people in conservative circles are using in place of saying, "F*** Joe Biden."
Here's what 'Let's Go, Brandon' actually means and how it made its way to Congress

That's right, Let's Go Brandon is your way of giving the middle finger to Joe Biden.

And if you itch to flip off the President, then why not do it with a Let's Go Brandon Tote Bag? You heard that correct, the McHenry County GOP will be giving away Let's Go Brandon tote bags at their next fundraiser:

Just in time for the holidays, why not give a Let's Go Brandon tote bag to that hard-to-shop-for grandparent? Or take one to that next Secret Santa office party? Is there a better way to publicly declare your allegiance to the resistance?

Best of all, these are easy to carry when you're at church or the grocery store or just out caroling. Nothing says "I am an insurrectionist" like your Let's Go Brandon tote bag!

OMG Omicron

Note to Ops: Run for your lives. The Omicron Variant is coming:

As Lake County awaits first omicron variant case, health officials suggest everyone ‘continue using the same precautions we have been using all along’

One public safety expert told your LakeCountyEye: "Make no mistake, the Omicron Variant is dangerous. But this is no Thanos or Dormammu. As far as Marvel Villains go, I'd rank Omicron Variant somewhere between Doctor Octopus and Green Goblin. No need to call a Spiderman or Wolverine. Captain America would be able to clobber an Omicron Variant."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Motivated Seller

It looks like your LakeCountyEye will not have Joe Walsh to kick around any more:

Former U.S. Rep Joe Walsh sells Mundelein home for $685,000

Ex-Congressman Joe Walsh got notoriety in the early 2010s when he exposed Lake County to the Paranoid Style in American Politics:

Rep. Joe Walsh yells at his constituents

One long-time political scientist told your LakeCountyEye: "It's too bad that you can't copyright your shtick. Walsh would be a gazillionaire today."