A Nickel's Worth of Difference

Note to Sharpeyed Operatives: You are not seeing double.

Appearances to the contrary ...

Two recent stories posted on this blog ...

Land of the Free

The Non-Profit Motive

... were totally different. Totally.

Eagleeyed Operatives will note that these stories were about two different not-for-profit corporations getting tax breaks in Lake County ...

Illinois Secretary of State -- CORPORATION/LLC SEARCH RESULTS


Illinois Secretary of State -- CORPORATION/LLC SEARCH RESULTS

Despite the fact that both non-profits were dissolved!

Operatives are challenged to find other dissolved not-for-profit corporations that are not paying taxes on properties owned.

The first ten lucky winners get a coveted LakeCountyEye h/t.

The Non-Profit Motive

The word on the street is that only Trump University graduates are eligible for jobs in the new Trump administration. And it shouldn't be a surprise that the UPS delivered to the LakeCountyEye doorstep a Trump U baccalaureate degree in real estate development ($1,695 USD) -- good for one (1) executive branch deputy assistant undersecretary position, location TBD.

Until then, Operatives will have to make do with a few of the Donald J Trump closely held secrets on how to make a billion with real estate in your spare time.

The first world-class trade secret your LakeCountyEye learned at Trump U is: Never Pay Taxes. The trick is to file for non-profit status -- charities do not pay real estate tax. And you don't have to set up a sophisticated money laundering operation like the Trump Foundation, either.

For instance, one local not-for-profit pays no taxes on these two properties:

Treasurer's Bill: Lake County, IL


Treasurer's Bill: Lake County, IL

It's perfectly legal. All you need to do is file the necessary paperwork ...

Illinois Secretary of State -- CORPORATION/LLC SEARCH RESULTS

And you don't even have to be a current non-profit to realize those gains!

Illinois Secretary of State -- CORPORATION/LLC SEARCH RESULTS

Next Week ...

Formula OPM: The Donald J Trump classified secrets to real estate with zero dollars down!

Land of the Free

Lake County is being sued in Federal Court, and not by Donald Trump this time. The County has been sued by its Township Assessors and property owners, who want to roll back the 2016 assessment, according to the Daily Herald:

Assessors sue Lake County over property-value feud

Now, as readers of this blog are certainly aware ...

Comparison Shopping

You don't have to go to court to get your property values lowered. The smart way is to file for non-profit status.

For instance, this non-profit pays no taxes on this property ...

Treasurer's Bill: Lake County, IL

That's because non-profits are exempt from property taxes ...

Illinois Secretary of State -- CORPORATION/LLC SEARCH RESULTS

And as a bonus, you don't even have to be a current non-profit to realize those gains!

Illinois Secretary of State -- CORPORATION/LLC SEARCH RESULTS

Note to Ops: Charity begins at home. Nuff Said!

Down for the Recount

Lake County is being sued in federal court for a recount.

According to the Daily Herald:

The assessors in Grant, Cuba, Libertyville, Ela and Vernon townships have sued Lake County Chief Assessment Officer Marty Paulson, Lake County Treasurer David Stolman, the county and the county's board of review in federal court in Chicago. Seven Lake County property owners also are plaintiffs in the case. In a news release, the assessors claimed Paulson is blocking the township assessors from properly valuing land, and that Paulson reversed thousands of property value changes they made.
Assessors sue Lake County over property-value feud

One source told your LakeCountyEye: "The sooner those assessors can recount our property values, the sooner everyone will spend more cash on Black Friday bargains!"

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Gobble Gobble!

Too Taxing?

Voters typically aren't given the opportunity on election day to vote for free beer. But some Lake County residents were asked to vote for nearly the same thing:

Advisory referendum questions in Wauconda and Fox River Grove asked residents if they'd prefer to vote on the matter whenever a taxing body wishes to increase property taxes by any amount. The measures, backed by the conservative, anti-tax advocacy group Americans for Prosperity, passed overwhelmingly: 90 percent of Wauconda voters approved it and 91 percent of Fox River Grove voters did the same.
Anti-tax advisory measures pass overwhelmingly in Wauconda, Fox River Grove

Pollsters are baffled that a whopping 10% of the electorate would vote against lower taxes.

As luck would have it, your LakeCountyEye conducted an exit poll, and those 10% of the voters responded ...

Is this a Trick Question?

Note to Ops: The 2017 consolidated election will be here sooner than you think! The last day to file your advisory ballot referendum question is January 3 2017 ...

Q:	Should Lake County Build a Route 53 Extension ... and Make Mexico Pay for It!

It's the Economy, Stupid

It has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that there was an election last week. And that the next President of the United States will be Donald Trump.

Huh?

When truth is stranger than fiction your LakeCountyEye gets hold of the one person who can separate the wheat from the crap, Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, College of Lake County visiting Historian of Presidential Erections.

"Ya." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Electing Donald Trump is like electing (former Congressman) Joe Walsh to be President -- except with bad hair."

The nightmare scenario, your LakeCountyEye had to concede.

"This is why the Founding Fathers believed the office of President too important to be left to the whims of the voter." offered Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "I'll bet you thought the Presidential election was on November 8. Guess again -- when you voted, you did not vote for a President. The Republic will choose a new President on December 19."

Your LakeCountyEye did not follow.

"When you voted last Tuesday," explained Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "You voted to appoint electors to the Electoral College."

Ah, no one expects the Electoral College.

"And not only that," continued Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "You may have voted for electors, but those electors are bound by no constraint to vote for the candidate chosen by the voters."

They're not?

"Nothing in the US Constitution that says so." chuckled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Your vote is only a recommendation. The 538 presidential electors are free to vote for whosoever they want."

Anyone?

"Anyone. Living or dead." smiled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "If you are a Presidential elector then your vote is a valuable commodity. Enterprising electors could be able to monetize the ballot by offering their votes to the highest bidder."

Monetize the vote?  That sounded like bribery to your LakeCountyEye. Isn't that against the law?

"Nothing in the US Constitution that says so." deadpanned Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Besides, the stated goal of the GOP is to privatize nonessential government functions. Why not privatize the Electoral College? Electors could post their services with an online auction marketplace. TaskRabbit comes to mind."

Your LakeCountyEye was nonplussed. Privatize the Electoral College?

"Donald Trump promised to make America rich again." grinned Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "A good place to start would be the Electoral College. That would send a strong signal to the American people."

Your LakeCountyEye was not listening. Lalalala.

"Open your eyes." shouted Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "This is an opportunity to make your vote really count. There must be dozens of electors out there who could use a few extra bucks. You'd be surprised. Especially electors from rural and low-income Red States."

Your LakeCountyEye heard enough. Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your Operatives there is still time to raise the necessary capital on GoFundMe or Kickstarter -- while those Electoral Votes are still cheap. I hear they are currently going for about $5000 a pop!"

Crooked Peter Roskam

Note to Ops in the 6th Congressional District: Look for yellow police tape around your mailbox outside. That postbox may be a crime scene -- if you received this recent mailer from Peter Roskam:

The Roskam mailer was franked -- it was paid for by the taxpayers ...

This same Roskam mailer arrived in mailboxes in early October despite the fact that it is against the law to frank mail before an election:

A Member may not send any unsolicited mass mailing or mass communication less than 90 days immediately before the date of any primary or general election (whether regular, special, or runoff) in which the Member is a candidate for public office.

2015-2016 Election Blackout Dates | Committee on House Administration

When informed of Peter Roskam's illegal use of the mail, President-Elect Trump told reporters ...

Lock him up! Lock him up! Lock him up!

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Water Quality and Quantity: Visions for Our Streams and Rivers

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy

The Chicago area is home to three important rivers - the Chicago, Calumet and Des Plaines. Experts will present ideas on how to make them cleaner, more accessible to the public and sustainable. Kara Riggio, Manager, Metropolitan Planning Council Three Rivers Project, and Patricia Werner, Planning Supervisor for Lake County Stormwater Management Commission will examine how to balance choices such as flooding or fishing; polluting or paddling; run off or land restoration and ideas for public/private land and water collaboration.

• Sunday
  November 13, 2016
  2:00 pm
• The Stevenson Center on Democracy
  25200 N St Mary's Rd
  Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
  847-816-7433
• $15
  No Charge for Students

The Trump Card

The Daily Herald sent out a staff photographer get some snapshots at the polls today.  And who do you think was there ... none other than Peter Roskam:

Polls busy, but lines short in many suburbs

Note to Ops: If you are a man-of-leisure, then the best time to set up a photo-op at your voting booth is mid-day -- when the lines are short, and opportunities to co-mingle with your constituents are few.

Roskam (Lake County's vestigial Congressman) told the Herald that he was voting for a third party candidate by the name of Free Media. Haha, j/k, Roskam voted for Donald Trump.

Roskam's vote is expected to give Trump the necessary 270 electoral votes to become the 45th President of the United States. In case of an Electoral College deadlock, Roskam can vote for Trump again, when Congress meets to break the tie.

The Trump transition team has already offered Peter Roskam an ambassadorship, to Benghazi. However sources say that Roskam is holding out for the job of IRS Commissioner.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Spare the Rod Spoil the Child

It looks like the Russian KGB agents may have hacked into roddrobinski.com ...


roddrobinski.com

Note to Rod Drobinski campaign operatives: It's easy to change the passwords. And be sure to use a strong password like ...

roddrobinski

Just sayin!

One Trick Pony

Does Aaron Lawlor have a new dirty job waiting for him on Wednesday morning after the election? The Lake County Board Commissioner may want to consider a new career in video voice-overs. Here, Lawlor does his spot-on Mister Ed impression:

Dirty Jobs: Meet Gerri's One-Trick Pony, Whoa-Is-Me

Hello Wilbur!

Newspaper Silence on Roskam's Sins

We received a press release recently that has us scratching our heads. Lake County's Congressman, Peter Roskam, apparently violated the Congressional rules on postage and spent taxpayer dollars illegally. Just like Dan Rostenkowski did back in the day.

Maybe the press is too focused on Hillary's emails and Trump's newest outrage, but you'd think Wasting Taxpayer Dollars would get some MSM ears pricked up. But no. Crickets. So the Lake County Eye has the honor of breaking this story. Enjoy.

 ************
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Palatine Committeeman Files Taxpayer Complaint Against Rep. Peter Roskam

A legal complaint against Rep. Peter Roskam (R-6th) was filed Tuesday by Palatine Township Committeeman Matt Flamm. The complaint concerns a taxpayer-paid (“franked”) mailing that Rep. Roskam sent the first week of October. Such mailings are prohibited within 90 days of an officeholder's election by the Commission on Congressional Mailing Standards, with whom the complaint was filed.

 “Our representatives in Congress should not be allowed to use taxpayer money to promote themselves to voters this close to the election,” said Flamm. “These rules are in place for a reason – to prevent Congressmen from taking advantage of their position to waste our taxpayer dollars promoting themselves right before an election.”

The mailing used Rep. Roskam's signature instead of postage and specifically notes on its face that the mailer was “prepared, published and mailed at taxpayer expense.”

The Sixth Congressional District covers part of five counties in the west and northwest suburbs including DuPage, Cook, Lake, McHenry and Kane. Flamm is a resident of the Sixth Congressional District and filed the complaint as a constituent of Roskam's.

Cubs Win!

Your LakeCountyEye has important breaking news to report: Surprising most pollsters, the Chicago Cubs has been declared winner of the US Presidential Election.

This marks the first time a third-party candidate has been elected US president since 1908. Historians can also note that the Chicago Cubs will be the first Ursine-American elected President of the United States.

Operatives are advised to update their calendars:

Jan 20 2017: Inauguration Day
Feb 28 2017: Spring Training Begins
Apr 03 2017: Opening Day

Your LakeCountyEye sends congrats to the President-Elect Chicago Cubs.

Ad Hominem

An unretouched screencap from salon.com ...

It takes a village idiot:
Thanks to Donald Trump, the president may be chosen by a fourth-grade mentality

Note to Aaron Lawlor Campaign Operatives. Maybe you should think about posting your pop-up ads on a less potentially embarrassing website instead:

cornify.com

Just sayin!

Fathead

Lake County's U.S. Senator Mark Kirk was caught, on-the-record again, saying something thoughtless ...

At one point, Duckworth talked about her family's long history of involvement in the U.S. military, describing herself as a "daughter of the American Revolution" who has "bled for this nation." When it was Kirk's turn to offer a rebuttal, he offered a single sentence: "I had forgotten that your parents came all the way from Thailand to serve George Washington."
More aggressive Kirk goes after Duckworth in second debate, questions her family's heritage

To illustrate the story, the Chicago Tribune chose this AP feed photo ...

Note to Mark Kirk for Senate Campaign Operatives. Maybe you should think about providing the Tribune with a good press photo of the boss ...

Just sayin!

Six No Trump

The tireless tax fighters at the McHenryCountyBlog may stop at nothing to tirelessly fight taxes ...

But at the same time, those same tax fighters don't mind seeing plenty of those tax dollars spent on fighting crime -- no matter how picayune the transgression ...

Filed my fifth police report with Lakewood about another Donald Trump sign that disappeared.
Another Stolen Trump Sign – Up To, Is It 6 Now?

It is not known how many McHenry County tax dollars have been spent, so far, investigating the Trump Sign Heist. But your LakeCountyEye suspects that law enforcement can quickly close the case if they focus their investigation toward Lake County ...

Just sayin!

Code Red

Candidate for Lake County State's Attorney, Michael Nerheim has got the blessing of some big guns ...

Note to Ops: Does anyone know Morse Code?

Smarter, Smaller, Bullisher

Operatives who want to visit saloon.com are advised to turn off their URL autocorrect. Otherwise (if they are like your LakeCountyEye) they will end up at salon.com.

Here is an actual unretouched screencap taken from the SALON homepage ...

BULLSH**TER OF THE DAY

If the photo looks familiar, that grin belongs to Lake County Board Chair, Aaron Lawlor ...

Lawlor's running mate appears to be Hillary Clinton:

Note to Ops: Early voting has already started. Don't forget to voice your opinion ...

AdBlock

Peter Out

At the League of Women Voters debate this week, Peter Roskam did not say he would accept the election results in November.

Haha, j/k.

No, wait -- as a simple matter of fact, Peter Roskam did not say he would accept the election results at the League of Women Voters debate. That's because Roskam did not show up at the debate. Since 2006 ...

according to several League of Women Voters groups in Roskam's 6th Congressional District, he has not appeared at their forums for a debate, and he will not be attending this year's forum scheduled for Oct. 16.
Rep. Peter Roskam will again miss League of Women Voters candidate forum

Haha -- and speaking of the old brushoff, Roskam (Lake County's vestigial congressman) has been avoiding the media, as well ...

U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam, R-Wheaton, walked away from reporters on Monday who asked about the effect of Donald Trump on the Republican Party. "Oh heaven help me," Roskam said as he turned and left the College of DuPage in west suburban Glen Ellyn.
Roskam Walks Away After Facing Repeated Questions About Trump

Roskam is reluctant to publicly acknowledge his kamikaze candidate for President, Donald Trump. One spokesman said, "Congressman Roskam wants to talk about the issues the voters care about: Benghazi, Benghazi and Benghazi."

Ixnay on the Ipflopflay

When your LakeCountyEye asked the Magic 8-Ball ...

Is Peter Roskam a Flip-Flopper?

The Magic 8-Ball said ...

REPLY HAZY TRY AGAIN

Haha, as readers of this blog are aware ...

Flip. Flop. Repeat.

Peter Roskam's mood-swings over GOP presidential nominee, Donald Trump, have grown so frequent that the media has taken notice:

Just hours after saying U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam was planning to vote for Donald Trump, spokesman David Pasch on Tuesday rescinded the remark.
Roskam flip-flops on Trump; now undecided

Sharpeyed Operatives, however, tell your LakeCountyEye that the link above goes to a Daily Herald story with a different headline:

Just hours after saying U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam was planning to vote for Donald Trump, spokesman David Pasch on Tuesday rescinded the remark.
In one day, Roskam goes from planning to vote for Donald Trump to undecided

The same story now has a headline with the word Flip-Flop omitted.

As luck would have it, old Daily Herald stories are frequently preserved by the Internet Archive. And a quick check shows that as of October 11 the Daily Herald headline indeed had been:

Roskam flip-flops on Trump; now undecided


Internet Archive: Wayback Machine

Did the Roskam campaign use its influence to get the F-Word removed from this Daily Herald headline?

The Magic 8-Ball says ...

WITHOUT A DOUBT

Flip. Flop. Repeat.

Def:

TRUMP FLIP-FLOP

[trŭmp.flĭp.flŏp′]

noun.

1. A hairstyle in which the hair is dyed orange, grown long on one side of the head, and combed over the top of the head to cover a bald spot.
   
   
2. Peter Roskam.
   
   

His constituents may think that Peter Roskam, Lake County's vestigial congressman, has flipped his lid. Roskam's on-the-record verbal gymnastics have everyone confused -- just where does Peter Roskam stand on his Party's Candidate for President, Donald Trump?

Only last week, Roskam was flipping out over the prospect of a President Trump ...

During a recent meeting with the Daily Herald editorial board, Roskam called the election a "binary choice." He said he views Donald Trump as a "wild card" who he was "choosing to vote for ... over the unworthy candidate."
Suburban Republicans in Congress weigh words on Trump carefully

But by Tuesday of this week, the Trump-reality-show is a big flop for Roskam ...

Just hours after saying U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam was planning to vote for Donald Trump, spokesman David Pasch on Tuesday rescinded the remark.
Roskam flip-flops on Trump; now undecided

On Wednesday, Peter Roskam LALALALA cannot hear the Trump flapdoodle LALALALA ...

Asked whether Roskam still intended to vote for Trump, Roskam spokesman Davis Pasch would not comment.
Roskam's flip-flop on Trump

As of Thursday ... well, haha, who the heck knows ...

In an interesting turn of events this past week, Rep. Peter Roskam publicly backed Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, then claimed he was undecided about the race and ultimately returned to backing the divisive billionaire.
Rep. Roskam Flip-Flops, Then Flips Back to Backing Trump: Report

Flippin awesome!

Restorative Community Court: A New Approach to Juvenile Justice

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy

Join Judge Colleen F. Sheehan to discuss the current state of Juvenile Justice in Illinois. Learn about current reforms and innovations such as the historic Cook County Restorative Justice Community Court, a first in Cook County. Explore solutions regarding police and community conflict. Discover how you can help repair the harm from crime, reduce costs associated with incarceration and contribute to neighborhood safety.

• Sunday
  October 16, 2016
  2:00 pm
• The Stevenson Center on Democracy
  25200 N St Mary's Rd
  Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
  847-816-7433
• $15
  No Charge for Students

Election Fright

Note to Operatives: Keep an eye peeled for a heavyset man with orange hair, thick makeup, and a baggy suit, stalking candidates in Lake County. Is Donald Trump in town? Nope -- Ops are advised to be on the lookout for creepy clowns:

On Wednesday, Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran put out a statement saying his department will take proactive measures against individuals acting disorderly while wearing costumes or dressed as clowns, a new trend known as "creepy clown." "The Lake County Sheriff's Office will aggressively investigate anyone who dresses in a costume, wears a mask, disguises themselves, while making threats or acting disorderly toward others," Curran said.
Clown report that put school on lockdown was false

While these reports of creepy clowns have been hoaxes, countywide zombie sightings are a real concern. According to the News-Sun, the Route 53 Extension has become a "zombie highway" -- and is now haunted by sucker-punched public servants infected with the zombie virus. The zombie stampede was sparked by Lake County Chair Aaron Lawlor when he helter-skelter dropped his support for the road project in May. Evacuation plans are now being prepared ahead of the impending Route 53 zombie apocalypse, and ...

Lawlor made that necessary on May 16 by publicly changing his mind. He had been really for it. But then he was really against it. Zombies normally aren't so fickle.
Rutter: Highway 53 planning process goes all zombie

One important question remains unanswered. Who would win in a fair fight -- a zombie or a creepy clown? Operatives will know on November 8 -- both Donald Trump and Aaron Lawlor are on the Lake County ballot.

Whoopsie Drobinski?

What do you call it when you forget to do something important? A senior moment? A crime? Depends on what you forget.

I’ve discovered an interesting website recently that suggests that the line between forgetfulness and criminality may be brighter than some people think.

To quote the website, called www.illinoiscitizenforce.com,

"For approximately 18 months after his mother passed away, Rod Drobinski continued to collect her monthly pension check."

Rod Drobinski Sued for Pension Scam
www.illinoiscitizenforce.com/roddrobinski/

Rod Drobinski is running for state representative in District 62 against incumbent Sam Yingling.

Aren’t State Representatives the ones in charge of the state’s pension funds?

Drobinski was sued in Federal Court by the Abbott Employees Retirement Plan and forced to return $19,004.55 of his mother’s pension that he kept for himself after his mother passed away in 2005.

Qualified to solve our state’s pension problems? I don’t think so.

No Signature Required

Pop Quiz: Name one politician who said some things in the past that he shouldn't have, and surely regrets it now. The correct answer is Lake County State's Attorney Michael Nerheim -- who in 2014, took credit for a major racketeering investigation against a street gang:

"This case signifies a commitment to our new approach at tackling gangs, guns and drugs," Nerheim said. "We will continue to aggressively seek out and prosecute those that bring drugs and violence into our community."
Cops: 21 alleged gang members, associates busted in 'Operation Shut Down the Hustle'

Well that was then but this is now. That year-long RICO case (where 21 people were charged) may be falling apart -- because Nerheim failed to properly issue search warrants:

Lake County Judge George Strickland ruled prosecutors cannot use the wiretap evidence in trials because paperwork seeking the wiretaps was not signed by Lake County State's Attorney Michael Nerheim, as required by law. Nerheim said he didn't specifically sign each wiretap order, but he authorized the chief of his office's gang and narcotic unit in writing to obtain the wiretaps.
Wiretap ruling threatens case against reputed gang members

Whether this lack of due-diligence was the result of systemic incompetence or merely a random screwup, Michael Nerheim will be on the ballot in the November election. And voters can rest assured that there could very well be a simple explanation why Nerheim was unable to complete the necessary paperwork on a multi-agency investigation. Ten, by your LakeCountyEye's reckoning:

10 Plausible Excuses for Neglecting to Sign a Search Warrant

Unable to get out of jury duty. The robo-signature machine is on the fritz. These warrants are clearly stamped:   DO NOT SIGN DOCUMENT WITHOUT READING IN ENTIRETY An attack of the yips. Never signs anything unless a lawyer is present. Spent way too much time on his 2016 absentee ballot ... Got pranked with disappearing ink. Claims a long-term carpal-tunnel disability ... ... from signing a truckload of wrongful prosecution judgment checks. Brain fart.

Look for your LakeCountyEye crossing the T's and dotting the I's near you.

Three Sheets to the Wind

There is someone in McHenry County with sticky fingers. According to the tireless trumpsters at the McHenryCountyBlog ...

Went out Monday to get the mail and discovered another Donald Trump for President sign missing. This is the third. I filed another Police Report.
Third Trump Sign Stolen

Note to Ops: If you've been commissioned to investigate this crime, eBay has a 3-pack of Trump signs on sale for only $37.50 ...

eBay

A steal!

You Said "Johnson"

Q:	Take away his unbelievably fabulous supermodel trophywife from Donald Trump and what do you have left?
A:	Gary Johnson

Haha, Libertarian Candidate for President Gary Johnson has been in the news lately. More specifically, in the Chicago Tribune. The Tribune (which had endorsed Donald Trump wannabee Bruce Rauner for Governor in 2014) blinked -- and declined to endorse Donald Trump for President. Then the Tribune blinked again and endorsed Gary Johnson.

The thinking in Tribune Tower, apparently, is that the enemy of your enemy is not Hillary Clinton. No, that person is a Libertarian candidate -- one who will not poll any better than another spoiler candidate, Ralph Nader, did in the 2000 Presidential Election.

The blogosphere was none too pleased:

LOL! Chicago Tribune tells its readers to vote for Gary Johnson

Trump drives the media nuts, literally: The Chicago Tribune’s delusional Gary Johnson endorsement is a symptom of a deeper illness

What the Hell Is the Chicago Tribune Thinking?
A Gary Johnson endorsement? Really?

On behalf of 400 lb bloggers, on beds throughout the blogosphere, your LakeCountyEye's subscription to the Tribune would have immediately been cancelled. Had there been one.

Sources tell your LakeCountyEye, however, that the Trump for President campaign reads this blog every day. So your LakeCountyEye thought up ten insulting names to call the Chicago Tribune.

Go nuts, Donald:

The 10 Absolute Classiest Sarcastic Names for the Chicago Tribune

Chicago Buffoon Chicago Poltroon Chicago Silver Spoon Chicago Looneytoon Chicago Hot Air Balloon Chicago Jejune Chicago Full Moon Chicago Picayune Chicago Hockey Goon Chicago Douche Platoon

Look for your LakeCountyEye spoon 'neath the moon in June near you.

Shadow Congressman

Your LakeCountyEye has been up all night, generating fake Trump Tweets:

Did Crooked Hillary help disgusting (check out sex tape and past) Alicia M become a U.S. citizen so she could use her in the debate?

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 30, 2016

But your LakeCountyEye only got the attention of the Daily Herald when Peter Roskam refused to participate in a League of Women Voters debate. Impersonating a League representative, your LakeCountyEye sent this Tweet to Roskam:

The Daily Herald printed this story the next day:

Could there be a debate between 6th District U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam and his Democratic opponent for the first time in eight years? A coalition of suburban League of Women Voters groups is pushing hard for one.
Lester: Will Roskam debate for first time in 8 years?

Those who do not know what Peter Roskam looks like, and care to see him in the flesh, should reserve a seat at the Oct. 16 League of Women Voters debate in Glen Ellyn.

Haha, j/k. Lake County's vestigial Congressman Peter Roskam has not debated a Democratic opponent since 2008. This is what a Roskam spokesman told the Daily Herald:

"As you know, he is regularly available to his constituents on the telephone, at town halls, at meetings around the district, and at his local office," spokesman David Pasch wrote in an emailed statement.
Lester: Will Roskam debate for first time in 8 years?

Sources say that Peter Roskam will accept the League's invitation provided he is allowed to debate via speakerphone. The same source told your LakeCountyEye that Roskam looks a little like Charlie's Angels ...

Big Peter is Watching You

This is not a good week for GOP debate participants. Peter Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, told the League of Women Voters that he would not participate in their Oct 16 debate, in Glen Ellyn. A League representative responded to Roskam on Twitter:

#You Can Run But You Can't Hide!

Haha, j/k.

You Can Run But You Can't Hide however is the subliminal message of this Roskam campaign mailer:

Absolutely, your LakeCountyEye wishes to hit the red DECLINE button whenever contacted by a candidate. But when Peter Roskam calls he doesn't take No for an answer:

"Sorry I missed you on my telephone townhall.
I hope you can join next time."

True enough. Having had used up all the minutes on the flipphone, your LakeCountyEye did not respond to the Roskam telephone townhall. But it was nice of them to keep tabs, anyways. Doubtless a lot of time and expense goes into monitoring who answers the phone, and who does not.

Your LakeCountyEye asked a source at the Roskam campaign. This source denied that the NSA was providing them with warrantless telecom surveillance data. The same source, however, did confirm that Peter Roskam voted to maintain the Patriot Act in 2011, and extend the government's roving wiretap program:

Peter Roskam on Homeland Security

Voted YES on extending the PATRIOT Act's roving wiretaps

Note to Ops: Intelligence gathering is mostly a matter of connecting the dots.

Rumdum

Around this time of the year, the two most important words in the English Language are ...

PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES

Just ask any drinking game player.

The first presidential debate begins Monday, September 26, at 8pm CST. And the rules for debate drinking are simple:

1. Select a Candidate.
2. Wait for the candidate to voice a keyword or catchphrase.
3. Take a drink!

Official debate drinking game rules are posted on the Illinois Republican Party website:

Make America Great Again

Bottoms up!

A Sign of the Apocalypse?

Even though 16 out of every 1000 McHenry County residents carry concealed weapons, the County is in the jaws of a crime wave. According to the tireless tax fighters at the McHenryCountyBlog, their Donald Trump yardsigns are being stolen:

Yesterday, on my way back from church, I notice that my Donald Trump sign was missing.
Trump Sign Stolen

The second yard sign supporting Donald Trump for President has disappeared from in front of our home.
Message of the Day – Sign Gone

Finding a replacement sign is easier said than done. Trump badly trails in statewide polls, and his campaign is not expected to be sharing their yardsigns with Illinois any time soon.

According to the Illinois Republican Party ...

WANT TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT FOR TRUMP WITH A YARD SIGN?

You can show your support for Mr. Trump and Governor Pence by purchasing a yard sign through the campaign by clicking here. The Illinois campaign has a limited number of yard signs as well. Please contact Mitchell Bence at il_Trump_Pence_signs@yahoo.com. The campaign will likely not be able to meet the extraordinary demand for yard signs. To ensure a sign is delivered to your neighborhood, you can purchase a sign by clicking here.

Make America Great Again

$20 gets you an Official Trump-Pence 2016 Yard Sign (Set of 2), from Donald J. Trump for President, Inc.

Note to Operatives: Your LakeCountyEye knows where there is a reliable supply of FREE Trump signs. But you have to go to McHenry County.

Not Open to Debate

Hell hath no fury like a League of Women Voters scorned.

The League sponsors debates every election cycle, inviting incumbent officeholders to defend their records. And every year those incumbents don't show up.

Well, wise guys, this year is going to be different. The Shaw Media talked to LWV member Gail Kalinich and ...

the leagues representing Glen Ellyn, Wheaton, Naperville, Elmhurst, Palatine, Downers Grove, Woodridge, Lisle, McHenry County and central Kane County decided they would use their collective clout to accumulate as many candidates as possible to speak Oct. 16 to the public at a joint forum in Glen Ellyn. So far, Kalinich said, it has been a success, gaining RSVPs from the vast majority of candidates in contested seats in the districts in their area.
League of Women Voters groups join forces to press candidates into forum participation

One candidate NOT-RSVPing is Lake County's vestigial Congressman, Peter Roskam. Your LakeCountyEye has learned that Roskam will not be attending, and sends his regrets. If this one is like any of the past ten or so debates that Roskam has dodged, he had plenty of regrets to choose from:

Peter Roskam's 10 Most Often Used Excuses for Declining an Invitation to Debate

He does not support the 19th Amendment. Important Hair Club for Men meeting scheduled same night. ... Keynote Speaker: Donald Trump Does not believe the voters have a right to choose. Can't cross a CTU picket line. Inadvertently typed BENGHAZI into the GPS. Sorry I missed you on my telephone town hall. I hope you can join me next time. Can we relocate the debate to Taiwan? No? How about Myanmar? Will debate only after tax audit is complete. "Oh, absolutely. My people will call your people."

Look for your LakeCountyEye at the LWV candidate's debate, Glen Ellyn, Oct 16 ... haha, j/k.

A Big Map Attack

Alongside press releases from GOP candidates made to look like real news stories, the 100% independent Lake County Gazette printed a piece about the Independent Map Amendment:

This week, Illinois Republican Party spokesman Steven Yaffe blasted Democrats in the Assembly for their failure to stand up for the Independent Map Amendment ballot measure.
State GOP lashes out at Dems for silence as 'machine' blocks fair-maps measure

Not coincidentally, your LakeCountyEye set the GPS to chart a beeline for Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Creative Cartography at the College of Lake County.

"Gerrymandering is a tradition that dates back to the earliest days of the Republic." observed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Do you know which animal the original gerrymander map looked like?"

A salamander?

"Wrong!" barked Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The correct answer is a beaver."

A beaver?

"Correct." repeated Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The practice was named for Gerry Manders, as the Beaver."

Your LakeCountyEye did not know that.

"Ya, the spoilsports in the Illinois Supreme Court will not let the spoilsports in the Governor's mansion redraw the legislative maps." explained Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Can you think of any other way that the Republicans can possibly raise their numbers in Springfield?"

Other than wholesale voter suppression, your LakeCountyEye could not.

"Well the people will not take this lying down." stated Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Governor Rauner appointed me to chair a blueribbon commission. And we advised him that if it is illegal to move the map lines, then why not move the people instead?"

Your LakeCountyEye did not follow.

"We can achieve the same goals of a Fair Map Amendment either by changing how the legislative district lines are drawn -- or instead by relocating voters into the districts where they are supposed to be." explained Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi.

Your LakeCountyEye was nonplussed. By force?

"Granted when Donald Trump is President there will be plenty of INS agents available with skills and experience to remove people from their homes." replied Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "But we do not want to attempt anything that untoward. Did you know the Illinois Turnaround Agenda is sitting on top of a ton of unspent Rauner-dollars? These funds can be leveraged into buyout opportunities."

You're going to pay everyone to move?

Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi shook his head. "Not everyone -- only targeted households. We want to marshal the voters in high-diversity neighborhoods, and move them into moderate-to-low-diversity neighborhoods. The goal is to disperse the electorate in the fair and balanced way envisioned by a Fair Map Agenda."

High-diversity neighborhoods?

"I think you know what I mean." winked Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi.

Your LakeCountyEye wanted to know where these high-diversity voters would be sent. Downstate?

"Nothing that draconian." answered Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "We have reciprocal diversity exchange deals set up with nearby, less-diverse states. Wisconsin, Indiana, Iowa, for instance."

Your LakeCountyEye heard enough. Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your Operatives that the first 1,000,000 participants get a free cheesehead!"

Lawyered Up?

Q:	How many lawyers does it take to screw a lightbulb?
A:	None. Lawyers only screw people.

Haha.

Robert Dold, Lake County's serial Congressman, hopes to turn up the legal heat on his opponents. According to the Daily Herald ...

U.S. Rep. Bob Dold's attorneys are demanding that a Democratic political action committee stop linking the Kenilworth Republican to Donald Trump's presidential campaign.
Dold demands PAC stop linking him to Trump

The Trump campaign was quick to issue a strongly worded statement: "Only a total moron would send his attorneys out to file a nuisance suit, and just so as to direct some cheap media attention toward their boss. This completely illustrates the huge difference between Donald Trump and Robert Dold. Loser."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

The Case for the Independent Maps Amendment

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy

Lori Lightfoot, an attorney supporting the Independent Map Supreme Court Appeal, will speak on the need for reform of the rules and process for drawing Illinois legislative districts in a transparent, fair and impartial manner.

• Sunday
  September 18, 2016
  2:00 pm
• The Stevenson Center on Democracy
  25200 N St Mary's Rd
  Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
  773- 281-0378
• $15
  No Charge for Students
• Coffee and Conversation Afterwards

Comparison Shopping

Your home is your best investment. Take that from no less an authority than your Township Assessor. The County, by now, has cashed that check you wrote to cover your property tax bill -- and is no doubt spending it all on stupid stuff. So now may be the time to (haha) assess the damages and form an action plan for the future.

As reported on this blog ...

Q the Eye/09.01.16

you can reduce your property taxes by appealing your assessment. This tactic requires no legal representation, is quite effective, and can be executed in three easy steps:

1. Collect the addresses of homes that are assessed below yours.
2. Forward those addresses to your Township Assessor, along with a WTF? postit attached.
3. Watch your assessment crater faster than a Route 12 pothole.

Of course the devil is in the details. Accordingly, your LakeCountyEye will provide some comparable properties that you can start off with:

Pin:	05-23-116-001
Street Address:	26585 W WOOSTER LAKE DR
City:	INGLESIDE
Land Amount:	$3
Building Amount:	$0
Total Amount:	$3

PIN 05-23-116-001

Pin:	05-23-111-061
Street Address:	0 BLUE SPRINGS DR
City:	FOX LAKE
Land Amount:	$3
Building Amount:	$0
Total Amount:	$3

PIN 05-23-111-061

Pin:	05-23-202-012
Street Address:	34650 N PARK AVE
City:	INGLESIDE
Land Amount:	$3
Building Amount:	$0
Total Amount:	$3

PIN 05-23-202-012

Pin:	05-23-200-018
Street Address:	34530 N PARK AVE
City:	INGLESIDE
Land Amount:	$3
Building Amount:	$0
Total Amount:	$3

PIN 05-23-200-018

h/t Wooster Lake Fish Tales

Note to Ops: Your LakeCountyEye knows where there is some cheap land in Lake County.

Swift Boats

As if to confirm that Donald Trump's financial empire is under water, the GOP presidential nominee was represented this weekend at the Cardboard Boat Race in Wauconda. The annual Labor Day boat race is held on Bangs Lake. Contestants are challenged to race with boats made out of cardboard and duct tape. The News-Sun talked to ...

Frank Rychlik, who was captain of the Team Trump boat. Rychlik said he entered the race so he could show his support for the Republican candidate. "I work in the construction industry, and things have taken a dump recently," Rychlik said.
Annual cardboard boat race in Wauconda gets political

Operatives with weakened immune systems are advised not to swim in Bangs Lake.

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Weigh anchor.

Q the Eye/09.01.16

Dear LakeCountyEye,

So if everyone stopped paying their taxes they would have to shut down all the jails. And then they couldn't jail anyone for not paying their taxes.

Are you on board?

Taxed Enough Already

Dear Teed Off,

Absolutely no one hates to pay taxes more than your LakeCountyEye. The property tax bill is due this week in Lake County, and you could express your displeasure like one particular group of trumbolones did ...

A small group of suburban residents protested their rising property taxes Tuesday at the Lake County treasurer's office by paying with stacks of one-dollar bills. Ten people participated in the orderly protest, organized by a group called Illinois Tax Revolution.
Protesters pay Lake County taxes with dollar bills

Note to Ops: If you do pay your taxes in one-dollar bills, be sure to count each bill individually, out loud. And don't forget to get your receipt!

Now, anyone who has ever carpooled with circus folk will have heard that some trained animals are smarter than others. Most animals bite the stick when you beat them. The smarter animals bite you.

Haha, so if you're a low-information taxpayer, don't make the mistake of biting the stick. Do the smart thing and reduce your tax bill, instead. Either by challenging your assessment. Or by voting-in a Township Assessor who promises to under-value your home. Or even by petitioning to dissolve your local taxing bodies -- your Library District, for instance. C'mon, who reads books any more?

Or you could follow the lead of the Illinois Tax Revolution, instead -- an organization that (your LakeCountyEye notes) has a steering committee manned solely by McHenry County operatives.

Nuff said!

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ... LakeCountyEye@gMail.com

The Sillery Season

Operatives wishing to drown their sorrows can join Robert Dold next week. Dold -- Lake County's serial congressman -- will be headlining a fundraiser at a local watering hole:

Beat Hillary at the Distillery

To see what's brewing, your LakeCountyEye contacted Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Spirit Communications at the College of Lake County.

"Ya." chuckled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "So Donald Trump walks into a bar and orders a 50 foot tall Harvey Wallbanger. The bartender says he can make one ... if Trump can pay for it. Don't worry, says Trump, Mexico will pay for it."

Haha, cute. Your LakeCountyEye produced a clipping from the National Journal:

Rep. Bob Dold (R), who has said he will not support Donald Trump, will headline an anti-Hillary Clinton fundraising event called "Beat Hillary at the Distillery" on Sept. 10.
Dold to Attend Anti-Clinton Event

"Dold is making a smart bet by saying he does not support Trump." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "No one wants to lose the vote of the undocumented worker."

But isn't Dold saying he wants to defeat Hillary Clinton? Your LakeCountyEye did not see how Robert Dold could have things both ways.

Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi nodded. "I don't know either, how anyone can beat Hillary Clinton without supporting Donald Trump. That's like trying to win at poker without any big hands."

Your LakeCountyEye noted that Dold says he is going to vote for a write-in candidate.

"In that case," replied Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi "Dold could vote for Chuck Norris. The US Constitution says Chuck Norris doesn't even need to be on the ballot to be elected President."

Your LakeCountyEye pointed out that Chuck Norris does not run for President -- Presidents run for Chuck Norris.

"Then if I were Dold," offered Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi "I would tell my people to write-in Brad Schneider for President. If Schneider became President then, according to laws of succession, Dold gets the congressional seat."

Maybe Dold has changed his mind, and he now supports Trump?

"That would give Dold and Trump a lot to share in common, then." observed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Trump changes his mind every day. If Trump and Dold had the same shoe size they could swap flip-flops."

Is there anything a Robert Dold gains by supporting Donald Trump?

"There would be a job waiting for Dold in a new Trump Administration." noted Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Head croupier at a Department of Homeland Security Casino."

Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your Ops in the 10th Congressional District to be sure their resumes are up-to-date by November."