Pizza Pallor

The Lake County toxic gas cloud is leaking out from Wheeling:

Officials identified the material as anhydrous ammonia, used for the refrigeration of processed food. Fire officials said crews mitigated the leak and then remained on location to ventilate the 500,000-square-foot factory, which makes and freezes pizzas. No firefighters were injured.
Seventy employees evacuated, three hospitalized after ammonia leak at Wheeling pizza factory

One observer who was at the scene said: "It looked like a mushroom cloud to me."

Note to Ops: It's all in the delivery.

Duck and Cover

National Highway Traffic Safety Administration officials announced that a truck crashes into the Long Grove bridge once every 90 minutes:

A truck became wedged under the roof of Long Grove's iconic covered bridge late Thursday afternoon, marking at least the 15th time the bridge has been damaged since it reopened last August after major repairs from a previous crash.
Yet another truck strikes roof of Long Grove bridge

One observer said: "They should find that truck, and get it off the road before it hits the bridge again."

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Get over it.

Steal the Bacon

Now that the Lake County Fair has been bumped back into August, why not fill that hole in your social calendar with another LakeCountyEye Master Class™? This week learn how to make a Chicago Tribune Creepy Political Cartoon.

Drawing cartoons like the Creepy Tribune Cartoonist™ is much easier than it looks. All you need to do is find a few gruesome Francis Bacon paintings:

Just pick one you like -- and don't skimp on the grisly. Then lay your tracing paper on top of the image and presto-corono you have an instant Tribune Creepy Political Cartoon™:

Anti-vaccine stance

Note to Ops: The Chicago Tribune has new owners. Be sure your copyright attorneys know!

The Critical Masses

Note to Ops: Due to the recent surge of new cases, government experts have declared a public health emergency. You are asked to shelter in place to help mitigate the transmission of the deadly variant. Your LakeCountyEye, of course, refers to Critical Race Theory.

Critical Race Theory, which public health experts had believed was isolated to the College of Lake County ...

Never Let a Good Critical Go to Waste

has now spread to schools in Dowers Grove:

approximately 150 protestors—many clad in red shirts—insisted that the district is advancing critical race theory, but using other code words and terminology to advance the concept.
Critical race theory opponents make their case at District 99 meeting

Anyone (yes even you) can become affected with Critical Race Theory, regardless of creed, color or national origin. Know your facts. Forewarned is forearmed:

Critical Race Theory FAQs


What is Critical Race Theory?

Nobody Knows

Where Did Critical Race Theory Come From?

Leaked from a Military Lab in Kenya

What are the Symptoms of Critical Race Theory?

Uppityness

What Treatments are Available?

• Bleach
• Ultraviolet Light

There is one proven way to stop Critical Race Theory -- an intensive regimen of Jim Crow. Contact your legislators today!

The Emeny Within

Note to Ops: Cover your heads. A stool pigeon is on the loose at the College of Lake County.

In reaction to plans by the College of Lake County to hire a diversity administrator, a battery of protesters showed up to express their opposition to ... critical race theory:

Editorial: Pressure on CLC is troubling for more than just slowing the college's diversity effort

What does hiring a diversity administrator have to do with critical race theory? Nothing.

For that matter, what is critical race theory? Nobody knows.

The important question is: Who dropped a dime on the College? Compelling the CLC Board of Trustees to table the action.

Agitated and misinformed crowds do not just materialize out of nowhere. Particularly to stop an obscure administrative procedure routinely performed by many colleges.

College of Lake County Board of Trustees

To your LakeCountyEye this looks like an inside job.

Never Let a Good Critical Go to Waste

Lock the doors and hide your daughters. Critical Race Theory is descending upon Lake County:

The College of Lake County board has delayed the hiring of an administrator to oversee diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives on campus in an effort to ease some community members' concerns about critical race theory.
Critical race theory opponents prompt CLC to delay administrator's hiring

What is Critical Race Theory?  To find out, your LakeCountyEye asked Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Omnibus Professor of the Plenum at the College of Lake County.

"Ya." said Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "Critical Race Theory?  You got me there.  What's that?"

Your LakeCountyEye heard enough. Did Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your Operatives to watch their backs. George Soros wants their blood!"

Polysemy in McHenry County

An actual unretouched screencap from the turgid theocrats at the McHenryCountyBlog:

Whether FOX News, elected officials, candidates or the public, there is a lot of misinformation about what exactly was filibustered yesterday. While the grid of senators voting on cloture is useless, given it was a 50-50 outcome and in spite of Vice President Kamala Harris, in her role as president of the Senate presided, no tiebreaking vote on a cloture vote where 60 votes needed, please note the title. "S. 2093".
Discernment on What EXACTLY Filibustered in U.S. Senate on June 22

What does that mean? It's anybody's guess.

Your LakeCountyEye contacted the very best Internet cryptologists. One said: "Someone with a college education might be able to decipher what they are getting at. But of course if all your readers are from McHenry County, you defeat that purpose."

It's a Plant

Lake County has another 4th of July in the bank, and anyone without 2nd degree burns is invited to enroll in a brand new LakeCountyEye Master Class™. This week learn how to make a Chicago Tribune Creepy Political Cartoon.

Drawing cartoons in the style of the Creepy Tribune Cartoonist™ is much easier than it looks. All you need to do is take some screenshots from your copy of the 1986 horror film, Little Shop of Horrors®™©:

Pick a pic that you like and prest-o change-o you have an instant Tribune Creepy Political Cartoon™:

Feeding the green beast

Note to Ops: The Chicago Tribune has new owners. Be sure your copyright attorneys know!

Son of Meet the New Walsh

If you know who said ...

There Are No Second Acts in American Politics

then you are not Joe Walsh.

As readers of this blog are aware ...

Meet the New Walsh

Ex Lake County Congressman Joe Walsh now favors gun control legislation.

And if that don't beat all, Walsh is recalibrating his position on abortion:

I’m pro life. But where does Meghan McCain get off imposing her faith on another human being’s faith? Who is she to say what Joe Biden must say to his creator? None of us know the truth, so all of us should be humble enough to allow each of us to profess our own personal faith. https://t.co/42ZuH4VKqy

— Joe Walsh (@WalshFreedom) June 21, 2021

No ifs ands or buts about it, the Joe Walsh brand is undergoing an overhaul. Where it is being hauled to is not known.

Next Week: Critical Race Theory! Joe Walsh says he wrote the book.

The McHenry County Epilog

Like a game of virtual whack-a-mole, the McHenryCountyBlog was down. But not for long. As readers of this blog are aware ...

McHenry County Blockage

the McHenryCountyBlog had gone dark for most of the weekend, by all indications rendered inoperable by a Russian cyber-attack.

It is unknown if the tiredout theocrats at the McHenryCountyBlog paid any of the ransom demanded by the Russian criminals. Because, even with the $4 RetailMeNot coupon, a $45.95 ransom payment is still equivalent to a month's wage in right-to-work McHenry County.

Your LakeCountyEye does know that calls were made, and by Sunday night the Russian cyber-crooks had their business license terminated.  With extreme prejudice.

What your LakeCountyEye does not know is who made the calls and who they were made to.

Note to Ops: Ask your LakeCountyEye no secrets, you'll be told no lies.

McHenry County Blockage

An actual unretouched screencap of the homepage of the McHenryCountyBlog all weekend:

The tiredout theocrats at the McHenryCountyBlog are nodoubt the victims of a Russian ransomeware attack. And are in a dither.

Note to Ops: Just pay the ransom. How much could they be demanding -- 30 bucks?

Meet the New Walsh

It's no secret that Joe Walsh tends to get a little trigger happy. But this is ridiculous:

"Screw the NRA."

Parkland Father Launches New 'Dad's For Gun Safety' Campaign | MSNBC

Conservative Ex Lake County Congressman Joe Walsh was seen on MSNBC last week, favoring gun control legislation.

Has Walsh gone off the reservation? Does he want your guns?

More likely, firebrand Joe Walsh is rebranding.  While rightwing-MAGA-Trump schtick may play well south of I-80, Illinois is still a blue state.  Particularly when your base of operations is the Chicago area. If Walsh, who used to be a radio deejay, is looking to run for higher office, or is simply looking for a job, dialing down the krayzee may be a necessary step.

You heard it here first!

Gentlemen, You Can’t Fight in Here, This is an Amusement Park

Your LakeCountyEye went to a fight the other night, and an amusement park broke out:

Lake County authorities say they responded to a large fight that broke out Sunday night at Six Flags Great America in Gurnee. Gurnee police said they were alerted around 7 p.m. that multiple disturbances and fights had been reported throughout the park.
Authorities call large group of people fighting Sunday at Six Flags Great America an isolated incident

People may say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth, but it goes without saying that one Lake County theme park is the scrappiest place on earth.

Your LakeCountyEye was assured that every theme park has a bouncer and this one is no exception:

The authorities responsible for cleaning up these incidents issued a sternly worded statement: "If you kids don't stop fighting back there we'll turn around and go back into lockdown."

Where's the Fire?

On Monday, the Lake County ethylene oxide plant failed to explode in Lake County:

A chemical plant north of Rockford has been referred to the Illinois attorney general's office for environmental violations one day after a fire broke out at the facility, forcing an evacuation order for nearby homes and businesses and closing roads.
Rockton chemical fire could take 7 days to burn out, fire chief says, as state officials refer company for environmental violations

Some Lake County residents are concerned about the chemical fallout and the quality of their air:

Smoke from the massive fire that engulfed the Chemtool plant in Rockton, Illinois, on Monday was so extensive it was picked up on radar systems operated from satellites in space
Thick Smoke From Rockton Chemical Plant Fire Spotted on Weather Radars

One industry hotshot, however, told your LakeCountyEye: "Oh give me a break. You can still see McHenry County, can't you?"

Taxation Without Riparianation

Q: How many Lake County residents do not live in the Village of Third Lake?
A: Lots!

This US Census fact is not lost on the Village of Third Lake which wants to levy a $30 fee on all of these non-residents:

Village of Third Lake Lakes Commission
April 26, 2021 Minutes

5E. an addition to fee schedule for nonresidents which would charge them a $30 fee annually for access to adjacent lake and $60 for both lakes

Note to Ops: Those hoping to avoid fees are advised to move into the Village of Third Lake.

Go South

Experts now warn the Lake County exploding oil train could explode downstate:

A proposed merger between Canadian National and Kansas City Southern has one Southland mayor concerned about increased train traffic, delays, noise and environmental concerns
More rail traffic in Chicago's south suburbs? Views differ on impact of Canadian National-Kansas City Southern merger

One big wheel at one railroad told your LakeCountyEye: "Oh gimme a break. Anyone who moved from Lake County down to the southside to get out of the blast zone gets what they deserve."

June Rhymes with Inopportune

If elections are a football game then the 2022 Illinois Primary just had the goalposts moved:

Illinois lawmakers sent to Gov. J.B. Pritzker legislation to move next year's March 15 primary to June 28
Illinois legislators send to Gov. J.B. Pritzker a bill to move 2022 primary to June 28 and make curbside voting a permanent fixture of elections

The 2022 Primary petition period was also reduced from 12 weeks to 7 weeks:

Candidates would begin circulating petitions on Jan. 13 and would file them with the State Board of Elections between March 7 and 14.
Illinois legislators send to Gov. J.B. Pritzker a bill to move 2022 primary to June 28 and make curbside voting a permanent fixture of elections

Shortening the petition period runs out the clock on challengers, who lack the built-in campaign infrastructure that incumbents enjoy.  Like, for instance, entrenched incumbent 26th District State Senator Dan McConchie.

However, one local advance-man told your LakeCountyEye: "Casey Urlacher isn't worried. He plans to run as a write-in candidate."

Note to Ops: Make up your own NFL betting joke here.

Talk is Cheap

Lake County Ex-Congressman Joe Walsh can add another name to his list of EXes -- Ex-Shock Jock:

Joe Walsh says radio show canceled due to Trump criticism

What are Joe Walsh's employment prospects? Your LakeCountyEye hasn't spotted Walsh's resume posted on craigslist yet.

Of course, with the pandemic under control now, restaurants are looking to hire cooks and servers. But, for someone with political experience, there is money to be made down in Springfield, where the job of State Senator pays considerably better.

Note to Ops: Now that Casey Urlacher has been redistricted out of Senate District 26, entrenched incumbent Dan McConchie is running unopposed.  Where there is an urgent opening for a primary challenger.

Just Sayin!

Big Map Attack

How many times has this happened to you? You've filed paperwork to run against the Establishment in the next election. But the power elite takes notice and stops you dead in your tracks. They've changed all of the maps -- and now from where you live you're not eligible to run for dog-catcher.

Of course, your LakeCountyEye is referring to Casey Urlacher and Dan McConchie.

As readers of this blog are aware ...

Casey at the Bet

Lake County favorite son Casey Urlacher was running against entrenched incumbent Dan McConchie in the 26th Senate District.

HaHa, not anymore:

Relief for McConchie: The redraw of Senate Minority Leader Dan McConchie puts primary competitor Casey Urlacher in a different district.
It's a Remap Bloodbath

Note to Ops: It's good to be Senate Minority Leader. You can throw your weight around.

Fresh Off the Boat

Note to Ops: Have you received your dunning letter from the Village of Third Lake yet? If not check your Spam folders:

Boating Season is Almost Here Again

The Village of Third Lake passed a Boating Ordinance (Ord 21-01-01) that obliges you to buy a boat registration sticker.

And this means you.  Get out your checkbook.  No exceptions!

Even if you paid for a sticker last year -- it doesn't matter. Or even if you don't live in the Village of Third Lake -- they don't care. Or even if you don't own a boat -- that's no excuse!

Boom Times

If the Lake County exploding oil train hasn't exploded near you yet, that protracted hiatus may be coming to an end. CN Railway wants to expand its rail traffic in the suburbs:

A replay of a 2008 battle to stop the Canadian National Railway from acquiring another railroad is emerging in the suburbs with similar concerns about spiraling freight train traffic.
Could railroad merger lead to more freight trains in the suburbs?

It goes without saying that the more trains running through your town means the more likely there will be a derailed train not running through your town:

There is potential that "CN's freight trains will further burden the Chicago area with increased road network congestion by adding a significant increase in freight rail volumes"
Could railroad merger lead to more freight trains in the suburbs?

One spokesman for one railroad said: "What's your beef? It's not like we're going to cram in more miles of train than there are miles of track to hold them."

The Party is Ober

On the heels of showing Liz Cheney the door, US House Republicans voted to fill her shoes with freshman GOP Congressman, Jim Oberweis.

HaHa, j/k.

Oberweis has been kicked to the curb faster than you can say the Big Lie:

The U.S. House on Wednesday rejected Republican Jim Oberweis' challenge to Democratic Rep. Lauren Underwood's election last fall to a second term.
Rep. Lauren Underwood’s reelection stands as US House dismisses challenge by Jim Oberweis

What's next for perennial candidate and pardner Jim Oberweis? Look for Oberweis to challenge Lake County favorite son and pardoneer Casey Urlacher in the 26th Senate District.

You heard it here first!

Casey at the Bet

It is a documented fact that more people can tell you who their bookie is than can tell you who their State Senator is. Well, Casey Urlacher wants to even the spread:

Just months after being pardoned by then-President Donald Trump while facing illegal gambling charges, newly reelected Mettawa Mayor Casey Urlacher again is setting his sights on higher office, submitting paperwork to run for state Senate. Urlacher on Thursday filed a statement of organization that reactivates his Citizens for Urlacher political committee. It allows Urlacher, a Republican, to run in 2022 for the 26th state Senate District seat, a post now held by Senate GOP Leader Dan McConchie of Hawthorn Woods.
Months after Trump pardon, Casey Urlacher files to run for state Senate seat

Lake County favorite son Casey Urlacher is running for State Senator. Can he beat Lake County entrenched incumbent Dan McConchie? He can with an endorsement from Donald Trump.

6 to 5 for Uhrlacher, by your LakeCountyEye's reckoning!

Buy Land They Aren't Making It Anymore

With everyone pouring their retirement nesteggs into the stockmarket, why is the Village of Third Lake buying up real estate?

One resident asked that question at a Third Lake Village board meeting:

Village of Third Lake Regular Meeting of the Trustees

Your LakeCointyEye asked the property assessor, what gives?  He said: "As soon as they purchase four houses, the Village can build a hotel."

Who was that Unmasked Man?

Can you spot the difference between these College of Lake County Trustees?

College of Lake County Board of Trustees

The man without a mask is conspiracy theorist and the new elected CLC Trustee, Robert Tomei Jr:

Readers of this blog will recall Tomei's two-cents worth on the JFK assassination and the Trump pee-tape:

That's News Tomei

The Lone Nut Theory

Appearances to the contrary, science and medicine is still offered at CLC:

Degrees and Certificates | College of Lake County

Note to Ops: Get your Degree before it's too late!

Make America Donate Again

Did you click on State Senator Dan McConchie's illegal fundraising email?

A staff member for Illinois Senate Republican Leader Dan McConchie has been reprimanded for using a state government email account to remind colleagues of a political fundraiser.
McConchie staffer reprimanded for sending political email

If so, the perpetrator of the illegal email deserves a bonus in her paycheck:

State records indicate her salary is $80,000.
McConchie staffer reprimanded for sending political email

Note to Ops: Illegal political fundraising pays for itself -- and is all perfectly legal!

Winner Winner ...

Check your spam folders. You may have an illegal email from State Senator Dan McConchie:

A staff member for Illinois Senate Republican Leader Dan McConchie has been reprimanded for using a state government email account to remind colleagues of a political fundraiser. Leanne Bucci, personnel and fiscal manager for the Senate Republicans, sent the email Saturday morning about the annual Caucus Chicken Fry Monday at Abraham Lincoln Capital Airport in Springfield.
McConchie staffer reprimanded for sending political email

Cybersecurity experts warn against clicking the Dan McConchie email.  You risk being the victim of a Springfield chicken dinner.

That's all your LakeCountyEye has.  Now scramble.

Lost & Found Dept

Note to Ops: Check your records. If you are short one affidavit, it can be picked up here:

Affidavit of the Mayor of the Village of Third lake, Illinois

Lose By a Nose

If Lake County has an election and no one knows about it, will there be any winners or losers? The mind-bending answer is Yes!

A sales-tax referendum passed in Deer Park last week:

The increase would result in an additional 50 cents of tax for every $100 spent, which could net Deer Park an extra $700,000 annually, officials said.
Northwest suburban voters say yes in referendums

This will buy some breathing-room for Clarke Mosquito.  Deer Park will have plenty of money to give Clarke Mosquito to spray the Village full of insecticides.

But don't expect them to stop there. Look for Clarke Mosquito in the Village of Third Lake, where they will be dropping herbicides in the residential lakes.

DRUCE LAKE 2020 END OF YEAR SUMMARY

Dropping herbicides in the water is a little like spraying insecticides in the air. Except it happens in the water.

The big winner of the 2021 Lake County election is Clarke Mosquito.

Kerching!

Who Writes this Stuff?

Did you know there was an election last week? Your LakeCountyEye did not. In fact, no one knew. Which explains why all the write-in candidates won:

Mettawa Mayor Casey Urlacher, waging a write-in campaign to keep his job, claimed victory over challenger Jess Ray Friday with 151 votes to Ray’s 105 as write-in tallies were posted on the Lake County Clerk’s website.
Casey Urlacher, following Trump pardon, claims victory as write-in candidate in Mettawa mayor’s race

Casey Urlacher had been under indictment for sports-related gambling charges, until he got a Presidential pardon from Donald Trump.

Advance write-in ballots are now available on-line for the next election:

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. You can't win if you don't play.

Party Identification

Did you know there are more political parties in Lake County than registered voters? The News-Sun says:

In suburb after suburb, you'll find parties with monikers like People Before Politics, We're in This Together, You Are the Village's Heart, the Common Sense Again Party, the United Party for Progress or, most expansive of all, the Party of the Past, Present and Future.
What’s in a name? A look at the strategies and schemes behind the obscure political parties of Chicago’s suburbs.

So, is it a coincidence that there was a municipal election on Tuesday? Your LakeCountyEye does not think so.

The winners and losers will not be known until that last absentee ballot materializes. But one thing is certain. If you were the standard bearer for one of these independent parties, don't forget to pick up your yardsigns on the way out:

Ten Here-Today-Gone-Tomorrow Parties that Failed to Win, Place or Show in Lake County

Very Silly Party Friends of the the Enemies of Your Enemies Measles Party Every Man for Himself and God Against All Lake County Catawampus You Gotta Fight for Your Right to Party Some People They Got the Guns but We Got the Guns Illinois Unindicted The Republican Party

Look for your LakeCountyEye weeding a sign farm near you.

Nothing is Sure but Death & Taxes

Plan for some extra time on your Tuesday commute. The roads will be jammed with people out to vote on their local referendums:

On the April 6 ballot, little Deer Park is asking voters to increase the village sales tax to 8% for three years beginning in July. Officials say the increase, which should mean more than $700,000 a year in new revenue, is needed because of revenue losses caused by the pandemic.
Voters being asked to increase their property and sales tax bills, in one case to avoid the ‘nuclear option’

Deer Park wants to raise your sales tax to pay Clarke Mosquito to spray the Village with insecticides:

The Village has entered into an agreement with Clarke Mosquito Control
Mosquito Abatement

If it passes, the Deer Park sales tax referendum will trigger a 4-stage action plan:

1. People who stay indoors do not shop in Deer Park.
   
   
2. Deer Park must raise the sales tax to pay Clarke Mosquito to spray the village.
   
   
3. People flee indoors to avoid the insecticide spray.
   
   
4. GOTO #1

Don't forget to cut this out and take to the polls on Tuesday, April 6!

The McLaughlin Goof

State Representative MAGA Martin McLagughlin may have hosted a fundraiser, last month, in a smoke-filled room. But since that smoke-filled room was in a Barrington pub, no one was allowed to smoke. And everyone could see what was going on:

That has not deterred Martin McLagughlin from denying that anything improper happened:

When contacted by the Daily Herald, McLaughlin said that was "completely inaccurate." There were two separate events, "then everybody consolidated into a single room," McLaughlin said. However, McLaughlin's own Facebook event page for the fundraiser said it would feature candidates running for local office, though it did not name them.
League of Women Voters decries party politics in Barrington local elections

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Four Heads No Mask

MAGA State Representative Martin McLaughlin was caught on camera in a Barrington pub, for a fundraiser he threw with some MAGA Barrington School Board candidates.

Can you spot the errors in the picture?

No Facemasks
No Social Distance
Republican State Rep Seen Endorsing Non-Partisan School Board Candidates
$15 Decoration Budget

Submit your guesses to the League of Women Voters:

A partisan political group in Barrington has expressed support for candidates in school and library board races, a move criticized by the League of Women Voters, which says party politics has no place in local elections.
League of Women Voters decries party politics in Barrington local elections

Oranges and Oranges

With an election approaching fast, April 6, everyone is asking: Who would Trump vote for?

HaHa, trick question. Donald Trump never voted a day in his life.

Now, you may not know who the MAGA voters want. But it is no secret who the BTRO voters want -- which is all you need to know and more of the same:

A partisan political group in Barrington has expressed support for candidates in school and library board races, a move criticized by the League of Women Voters, which says party politics has no place in local elections. In an email and on Facebook this month, the Barrington Township Republican Organization backed candidates running for the Barrington Area Library, Barrington Area Unit School District 220 and Harper College boards.
League of Women Voters decries party politics in Barrington local elections

Note to MAGA voters: You should remember these names ...

Donald Trump may be gone but his legacy lives on. If your school, library or community college is out of whack, there is nothing this legacy can't whack.

Taylor Made Tracks

Lake County Board Commissioner Craig Taylor is going the way of the Lake Bluff Mosquito Abatement District:

Candidates are being sought to fill the vacant District 19 Lake County Board seat, which covers Lake Zurich, Barrington, Deer Park, Kildeer and portions of Long Grove. The vacancy was created with the recent resignation of Craig Taylor, who is moving out of state to be closer to family.
Candidates sought to fill 19th District Lake County Board seat

Note to Ops: If you are interested in the gig, free yardsigns are available: Contact the Lake County Forest Preserves.
ATTN: Lost and Found Dept.

The Elect Few

Despite the fact that the next election is more than 18 months away -- in November 2022 -- early voting starts this Monday ...

Early voting to expand Monday: Here's where you can cast your ballot

WTF? To find out, your LakeCountyEye Zoomed with Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Electoral Engineering at the College of Lake County.

"Ya," said Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "Don't let all the twos and zeros fool you. 2021 is an odd-year election -- election day is April six."

Your LakeCountyEye texted back: OIC

"Be sure to vote." continued Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Odd-year elections are the only elections where your vote counts."

Your LakeCountyEye's vote does not count?

"Who did you vote for in 2020?" asked Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi.

Donald Trump, of course.

"Then you wasted your vote." smiled Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi.

Your LakeCountyEye begged Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi's pardon.

"70,000,000 other losers just like you also voted for Donald Trump." explained Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "How much did your one vote count? Your vote contributed toward one seventy millionth of Trump's landslide victory. Statistically speaking, one part out of seventy million is indistinguishable from zero. You would have gotten more mileage staying at home and spreading alternate-facts on social media."

Well, that was unexpected.

"Now, in an odd-year election like 2021" continued Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Your vote actually does count, and by lots more. By orders of magnitude!"

How so?

"Do the math." smiled Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Let's say 70 people come out to vote for your Mayor. Then one vote for Mayor packs a million times more wallop than one vote for President."

Wow.

"And not only that." said Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Let's say your Mayor wins by 7 votes. If you voted for him, then your single vote was one seventh of his total margin of victory."

Your LakeCountyEye heard enough. Did Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your Operatives the next time they see their Mayor, remind him that he owes them some favors. Kerching!"

A Poor Third Lake

At long last, should there not be a light at the end of the tunnel? For more than a year now, Lake County has patiently endured hardships and uncertainty. And the Illinois legislature is still only at the start of the redistricting process!

Illinois lawmakers are set to formally begin the once-a-decade task of redrawing the state’s legislative and congressional districts
Illinois legislators begin redistricting process amid census delays that complicate an already raucously partisan event

Residents of Third Lake, however, need not despair.  Your Village is not waiting on Springfield -- Third Lake has been redistricted already. Despite the fact that your lake is not under the Village's jurisdiction, a new ordinance puts Third Lake off-limits to non-residents.  That is, unless they spring for a $55 fee:

F. Non-Resident Fees.
Non-resident guest passes may be purchased for a consecutive three (3) calendar day period for $55.00.


Village of Third Lake Ordinance No. 21-01-01

Note to non-resident Ops: Supplies may be limited.

Q the Eye/03.13.21

Dear LakeCountyEye,

You can't fight city hall -- especially not after the bank forecloses on city hall.

How can I raise enough revenue to keep my village afloat and get re-elected all at the same time?

Paint My Town in the Red

Dear Mayor McSqueeze,

The trick to raising taxes is to do it without raising taxes.  Like with red-light cameras or slot machines.  Just don't make the mistake made over in one Lake County burg. During a pandemic when everyone is broke, stuck indoors and binge-spending all their money on the Internet, this municipality wants to raise their brick-n-mortar sales tax:

Learn why Deer Park officials want to increase the town's sales tax rate

So sad.

Now, here's what you need to do:  Go drive around town. And if it looks like everyone owns a boat, you don't tax the golf courses.  No, you do what this Lake County village did:

Village of Third Lake Registration of Boats & Other Watercraft
ORDINANCE NO. 20-02-02
AN ORDINANCE PROVIDING FOR THE REGISTRATION OF BOATS AND OTHER WATERCRAFT AND ESTABLISHING RULES AND REGULATIONS FOR VILLAGE BOAT LAUNCHES, LAKE USAGE AND WATER-LANDING PLACES

And even if Illinois State Law clearly says that you do not have jurisdiction over these watercraft, haha, go ahead and collect your sticker fees anyways.

Who's gonna know?

Send your questions to Q the Eye c/o ... LakeCountyEye@gMail.com

The Lone Nut Theory

If a college is an institution of learning at the highest level, then why is Robert Joseph Tomei Jr a candidate for College of Lake County Trustee?

More to the point, who is Robert Joseph Tomei Jr? Nobody knows. Except possibly his Facebook friend(s). This screencap from Tomei Jr's private Facebook page was obtained by your LakeCountyEye:

Tomei Jr weighs in on the President Kennedy assassination:

"the official narrative remains the lone-nut theory"

Note to Ops: It seldom hurts to belabor the obvious.

That's News Tomei

Can just anybody run for College of Lake County Trustee? Apparently so, judging from one candidate's Facebook page. The screencap to the right was leaked to your LakeCountyEye. In a Facebook post privy to a select few, Robert Joseph Tomei Jr seems to need to get something off his chest regarding the topic of golden showers. If elected CLC Trustee, will Tomei Jr propose mandatory urine tests for all students? A burning question, to be sure. So, who is Robert Joseph Tomei Jr? By any indication a Trump supporter, it is unknown if Tomei Jr is a graduate of Trump University. If he is, one could say that Robert Joseph Tomei Jr matriculated from a Donald Trump property. At any rate, you wizz-kid graduates of Trump U may be eligible to transfer course credits to CLC. Will Robert Joseph Tomei Jr become a College of Lake County Trustee? Stay tuned until election night, April 6, when the numbers come dribbling in.

You Can't Spell Gazette Without E.T.

An actual unretouched screencap from Lake County's #1 fakenews source, the Lake County Gazette:

Editor's Note: This blog has reported that the Lake County Gazette obtains its content from Russian Troll Farms. The assertion is incorrect. The Lake County Gazette actually obtains its content from Space Aliens:

There is nothing wrong with your television set. You are about to experience the awe and mystery of another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision®!

Your LakeCountyEye regrets the error.