Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I Met a Traveller from an Antique Land

Yes, it may have narrowly avoided an invasion of the 13-year cicadas. But Lake County is still on schedule to be pillaged by the 10-year Illinois political remapping. There was already one close call: State Senator Suzi Schmidt just missed by less than a furlong being redrawn outside the 31st District. Your LakeCountyEye does note there is little truth to the rumor that Senate Republican leaders asked her to change her name to Suzi Schick in commemoration of the razor-thin close shave.

Your LakeCountyEye broke the story on Sunday that another Rep, JoAnn Osmond, wasn't as lucky -- and after the maps are redrawn will in all likelihood reside inside Michael Tryon's adjacent Representative District 64.
District 61 Revisited
The Daily Herald did some old-fashioned reportorial legwork on Osmond's plight, yesterday afternoon:
Here's what she said on Facebook.
"After the map release yesterday I have to look hard at my future ... stay in my home and run in McHenry County, move to my current district ... or retire. These are all options for the summer debate. I am fortunate to have support from so many family and friends."
Now, Osmond represents a district that spans the northern part of Lake County. There's a district like that in the proposed map. But Osmond would live in a district that would look significantly different, taking up the northwestern part of Lake County and sprawling into McHenry County.

Rep. JoAnn Osmond not a fan of her proposed district
In other words, what Rep Osmond must contemplate is the difference between indoor plumbing and none of the above. Your LakeCountyEye feels her pain. The situation however is by no means hopeless. There are many people who manage to pursue what could pass as normal lives over in McHenry County. It's simply a matter of possessing the right survival skills. Your LakeCountyEye has contacted some of McHenry County's prominent elected officials and they have shared their secrets. Here are ten items to remember when running for election in McHenry County:

A McHenry County Political Survival Guide:
Ten Campaign Tips

  1. Make friends with the disoriented government pensioners at the McHenryCountyBlog.

  2. Watch some Green Acres reruns.

  3. That farmer's market really is one.

  4. The largest municipality in your district is Wal-Mart.

  5. Be sure to attend McHenry County's Antique & Restored Auto Parade, AKA Route 31.

  6. Lobbyists may hand you confederate money.

  7. Candidates are expected to know the Napoleonic code.

  8. Don't forget that livestock are eligible to vote in McHenry County.

  9. McHenry County residents are not glad to see you. That's a gun in their pocket.

  10. Remember: you're not in Kansas any more.

Look for your LakeCountyEye, downloading more of those hilarious Jeff Foxworthy MP4s.


Anonymous said...

My name is Madigan, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Republicans, and despair!

IllinoisJim said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
IllinoisJim said...

But I don't want finagling from Mr. Madigan. I believe that redistricting specifically excluding some Republicans is unfair. Some of my closest friends...and most of my family...are Republican.

Mr. Madigan, tear down that map!

Now, if you are talking about Tea Party WingNut loons, can I help Mr. Madigan out?