Creepy Tribune Cartoonist Stands by His Ladies Man

The annual cost of a home-delivered Chicago Tribune now exceeds a car payment, but your LakeCountyEye still keeps an eye peeled for the Tribune's Creepy Cartoonist. If his latest cartoon is any indication, spring must be in the air for the Creepy Tribune Cartoonist or something:

GOP: For The Ladies

The two creepy guys in the drawing, Akin and Mour-dock, presumably represent GOP candidates who hope to ride the current tsunami of anti-women sentiment straight into the US Senate. But who is the third, dorky, guy in the picture, bearing a box of chocolates FOR the LADIES? Your LakeCountyEye suspects one high-profile Congressman who represents an affluent portion of Lake County.

Just about every Illinois GOP Congressman has been riding this same anti-woman wave, voting for Bills that negatively impact upon a women's health, reproductive freedom, retirement. But only one of these Congressmen has been ardently courting these same ladies for their vote with campaign mailers and robo-calls full of election day promises and other sweet nothings:

The Ladies Man Cometh

The third guy, without any doubt, is a spot-on dead ringer for 6th District Congressman -- and ladies man -- Peter Roskam:

Not Again!? Not another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!

Note to operatives: If anyone tells you Peter Roskam is in need of a good wingman, think again. The Creepy Tribune Cartoonist has Roskam's back!

Another Pooka from Pookaville

Fans of the silver-screen -- and who among operatives is not? -- all remember the Jimmy Stewart classic Harvey. The title character, Harvey, a 6 ft tall invisible rabbit, is a species of pooka, an imaginary being that only Jimmy Stewart can see.

The reason your LakeCountyEye brings up this creature of folklore, is because a real live pooka has been, erm, observed here in Lake County. In fact, not just observed but chosen to complete Mark Beaubien's term. A non-existent being -- a pooka -- has been tapped by the local GOP to be the new 52nd District State Representative. According to the disgruntled public-sector pensioners at the McHenryCountyBlog ...

In a stunning decision, the committee of Republican Party leaders charged by law with selecting a replacement for State Rep. Mark Beaubien have selected the head of House Republican Leader Tom Cross' Appropriations Committee staff. The choice is Lake County resident Kent Gaffney.
Unknown Tom Cross Staffer Kent Gaffney Picked to Replace State Rep. Mark Beaubien

Your LakeCountyEye first suspected that Kent Gaffney was actually a non-existent pooka after reviewing the results of an unscientific poll conducted in the 52nd District: a whopping 100% of respondents had never heard of him. Although a legal resident of District 52, terribly informed sources say Gaffney, like Harvey, has never actually been seen in the district.

The selection of a ghost-legislator puts on ice another empty seat in the State legislature and it is speculated that the choice was necessitated by the Illinois GOP's commitment to smaller government. One terribly unnamed source told your LakeCountyEye, "phooey, what's the big deal, anyways, over one more empty suit down in Springfield representing Lake County?"

Harvey Gaffney Another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™

Look for your LakeCountyEye ... well, don't bother. Face it, you'd have better luck finding Harvey.

Pec's Badboys

A head's up to Illinois's congressional delegation: there is new softcoreporn to be found on the Internet, and his name is Aaron Schock. Readers of this blog will recall that Schock is Illinois's most eligible unmarried bachelor Senator/Congressman -- and has the sartorial chops to prove it:

A Not-Gay Republican Illinois Congressman

Schock's latest bodice-ripper is a cover gig on the metrosexually oriented Men's Health Magazine:

The Ripped Representative

Schock, no doubt, was inspired to bare his sixpacks by a former colleague, the so-called Craigslist Congressman. For operatives with short recall, this is the upstate New York Congressman who posted semi-nude pictures of himself on Craigslist (presumably not to sell a refrigerator). He has since been forced into retirement, after battling a history of teh stupid:

Craigslist Congressman

Illinois Congressman

Illinois's Senators & Congressmen are asked to take note. The ladies are allowed to look too!

BONUS: Querulous operatives with a bone to pick are challenged to spot the LakeCountyEye Double Vision™ cleverly hidden in this post. OK, it's not exactly like finding Waldo -- but what do you want for free?

Double Vision™: The Three-peat

With nothing exciting lately to talk about around the precinct-office watercooler, bored operatives are turning in desperation to your LakeCountyEye for their daily diversion. To put it bluntly, they want more LakeCountyEye Double Vision™ mashups and they want them now.

As readers of this blog are bifariously aware ...

Double Vision™

a Double Vision™ is a hand-crafted & hilariously funny Internet Separated-at-Birth post appearing infrequently on this blog. But alas, at the moment the LakeCountyEye joke-box contains nothing but cricket chirrups -- and operatives hoping for a new Double Vision™ are going to have to wait.

But fret not. Your LakeCountyEye will divulge the secret of how-to construct a Double Vision™. Operatives can enjoy hours of DIY busy-time, building their own Internet Separated-at-Birth mashups on their government-issue computers.

Step #1: Screen-Cap Someone's Web Page

The first thing needed is a target image -- some person or issue of interest is recommended. News outlets are a good destination for material, Fox Chicago News, for instance, has some stories about the Zion Nuclear Plant. Now hijacking content from an Internet news operation is technically a violation of copyright law. Your LakeCountyEye recommends hot-linking an image that has already been hijacked by some other website. A good source of hijacked screen-caps are the free-for-all libertarians over at the McHenryCountyBlog:

Looking at Zion's Nuclear Power Plant

Step #2: Find a Funny Foil

Next, find a companion image that will make your target look silly. Your LakeCountyEye recommends Google Images, and searching on Homer Simpson. Homer is not only good for a sure-fire laugh, but there will be plenty to choose from. Sticklers for detail will point out that this, technically, is stealing as well. But -- and this is a bonus -- no one is likely to waste their time tarnishing the Simpons brand by going after some backwater blog with a cease-and-desist order.

Step 3#: Copy and Paste

Now the fun begins. Paste the two images together and, voila, instant jocularity!

Lawmakers Tour Zion Nuclear Plant

Footnote:

It's fairly obvious, of the three, Homer is meant to be Joe Walsh. How Mark Kirk & Robert Dold are supposed to line up against Lenny & Carl is anybody's guess.

Double Down on Double Vision™

It is what every blogger dreads: a protracted slow-news cycle. And none within memory have been slower than the week just past. Since there is nothing current or on the horizon to write about, your LakeCountyEye will use the opportunity to comment on a rumor about this blog that has been cutting a Shermanesque swath through cyberspace.

The rumor is true, this blog used to post under a different name. Back when it was known as the McHenryCountyBlog, this blog was the target of a defamation suit filed by a local news organization (that will remain nameless). Reacting like any red-blooded blogger to a threat of legal action, this blog immediately shut down all operations, changed IP addresses, and recrudesced as your LakeCountyEye. And the rest is history. The end.

Operatives who do not believe frankly tall tales of this nature are asked to refer to this hilarious, past, encore Double Vision™ posted by your LakeCountyEye, back in the day, when under the sobriquet of the McHenryCountyBlog:

Having Fun in Springfield

A head's up to bloggers -- both n00bs and wannabes -- peeping in: this would be a textbook example of an Internet Separated-at-Birth gag. The idea is to poke some fun at a target (in this case State Senator Pam Althoff) by juxtaposing their image against a completely unrelated image (in this case The Cowardly Lion) -- for comedic effect. It is the choice of the unrelated foil to your target that makes or breaks the gag. Please note: same age, same expression, same hair stylist -- now there's comedy!

Double Vision™

Operatives looking for bargains on Internet sites like Groupon.com and SitesLikeGroupon.com need look no farther than your LakeCountyEye. For the next 24 hours only, operatives visiting this site are eligible to redeem a once-in-a-lifetime two-for-one offer.

The Fine Print: This two-for-one offer is actually a feeble seque for another installment of your LakeCountyEye's hilarious but infrequent Double Vision™ feature -- where a JPEG of someone famous is compared with a JPEG of some other famous person, whereupon infrequent hilarity ensues. As of press time, however, your LakeCountyEye has not actually found any funny photos to publish. Operatives are asked to please enjoy instead these funny photos from other local blogs and websites.

The part-time stringers at TeamAmerica10th have posted their hommage to your LakeCountyEye -- all the while having fun at the expense of a local office seeker:

Bob Dold Pulls Liberal Opponent In IL-10,
But He's No Secret Agent

Here Ilya Sheyman, Young Gun™ & candidate for the 10th Congressional District, is compared with David McCallum -- while hilarity ensues. Ha ha.

Now your LakeCountyEye does not want to seem ungrateful for props given, of any sort, but isn't McCallum something like 100 years old? It will be the 22nd century before Willard Scott sends Sheyman his 100th birthday greeting. Your LakeCountyEye would've gone with comparing McCallum with fellow octogenarian & Young Gun™ emeritus Robert Dold.

McCallum

Dold

Just sayin'!