Thursday, November 1, 2012

The Elimination Ballot

ol' sparkyEarly voting ends early this year in Illinois this Saturday, on November 3. Early indications indicate that early voting was an overnight success in Lake County. Your LakeCountyEye has learned that every registered voter in Lake County has already cast a ballot at an early voting site; the only voters now expected at the polls on election day -- November 6 -- are the crickets.

Early voting has become so popular with the voters that even Lake County Clerk Willard Helander seems to have been caught a day late and a dollar short. According to the Pioneer Press ...
"Some of the judges are saying they can't even get a drink of water or go to the bathroom," said Helander, who believes the heavy traffic is due to a shorter time frame this year.
Shorter early-voting period keeps judges hopping
Haha, some anonymous headline writer has an eye for spotting a nutgraf! Your LakeCountyEye contacted the Pioneer Press and learned that ten other headlines were considered but rejected, before settling on their gem:
Shorter early-voting period keeps judges hopping
Here they are, like they were ripped from today's headlines:

Ten Rejected Headlines for that News Story
About Lake County Clerk Willard Helander's
Election Judges Who Don't Get Enough Bathroom Time
  1. Early Voting in Lake County Flush with Success

  2. Election Judges Bowled Over by Early Voters

  3. Voters Complain About Lack of Paper Ballots

  4. Overflow Crowds Expected at Early Voting Locations

  5. Voters Asked to Choose 5 North Shore Sanitary District Trustees
    County Clerk Complains: "Insult Added to Injury"

  6. County Government Serves as the Lavatory of Democracy

  7. Disoriented Voter Mistakes Voting Booth for Water Closet
    Ballots Spoiled

  8. Burial Services for Princess Nudelman to be Conducted at Early Voting Site

  9. Racine Wisconsin Voters Expect Harassment to Cease During Illinois Early Voting Period

  10. Tanks for Voting!

Look for your LakeCountyEye this weekend, dropping lit.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It's probably a good idea that Lake County voters took advantage of early voting because it seems Clerk Helander has taken voting legislation into her own hands. She's trained her election judges to ask for identification against Illinois law. The election judge training manual states:

"In an even year election during heavy voter turnout periods, one judge may ask for ID to quickly move voters to correct alpha station at table. A voter is not required to show ID to check in. Explain that requests for identification ensures accurate spelling and that the correct application is located."

The provision does not state that the election judge is supposed to explain to the voters that they do not need ID. Current Illinois law only requires ID in very specific circumstances and not generally for all voters.

It appears to be a cost saving measure. We can stop paying our Illinois legislators because Clerk Helander has taken over their function of voting on bills to make law.