No Guns or Butter

Your LakeCountyEye doesn't know how they are supposed to celebrate the New Year or the Fourth of July in the village of Highland Park. According to the News-Sun ...

A district court judge ruled Thursday that Highland Park's ban on assault weapons and large-capacity magazines does not violate constitutional rights under the Second Amendment, according to the city.
Judge upholds Highland Park's ban on assault weapons

Lake County citizens typically commemorate victories like these by gathering in their town square to discharge their firearms in celebration.  But, observes your LakeCountyEye, they will not be in Highland Park.

Something else they will not be celebrating, is the price of victory:

The city spent $89,887 in legal fees defending the assault weapons ban in the first three months of 2014, according to legal bills obtained through a Freedom of Information request in May of this year.
Judge upholds Highland Park's ban on assault weapons

$90,000 is not an insignificant amount, even in the village of Highland Park. One official from one undisclosed village told your LakeCountyEye that a $90,000 line item on their city budget is equivalent to "a month's revenue out of our Half Day Road speed trap."

Your LakeCountyEye decided to do some actual research and discovered that there were quite a few village budgets with line items equivalent to $90,000 -- well, OK, 10 to be exact:

Ten $90,000 Expenditures Found in Some Lake County Village Budgets

101 AR-15 Assault Weapons (now available at Walmart) 1800 Potholes 15 Village Trustees (Park City only) 1½ Springfield Lobbyists 1 Bike Lane 28 grams Medical Marijuana (estimated street value) 19% Stake in a Mine Resistant Vehicle 1 Backyard Chicken Inspector Walking Around Money 27 inches of Route 53 Extension

Look for your LakeCountyEye in a nuisance suit near you.

The Road to Riches

Short of threatening to move across State lines unless they get tax concessions, the Route 53 Blue Ribbon Commission has run out of ideas for financing the Route 53 Extension. The News-Sun observed that ...

After months of laboring through a bushel of options on how to build a 25-mile road for about $2.6 billion, the project's finance committee has arrived at an interlocking set of funding plans. What the components share in common is that everyone will hate at least one of the ideas. And lots of people will hate the entire idea, starting with spending $2.6 billion on a road that only begets bad funding ideas.
Route 53 payment plan gives something for everyone to hate

Desperate times call for desperate measures. So your LakeCountyEye paid a visit to Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Leveraged Financial Instruments at the College of Lake County.

Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi asked to meet on the Amstutz Expressway, the on-screen location of every Hollywood chase scene ever filmed since Ben Hur. He said, "Every time they shoot a movie here, the City of Waukegan pockets a nice chunk of money for itself. Well, it was only a matter of time before the Route 53 Commission woke up and smelled the Benjamins."

Your LakeCountyEye was nonplussed. Did that mean they planned to finance the Route 53 Extension by making the limited-access toll-road available to Hollywood filmmakers?

"They are already under contract" offered Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "to film the Easy Rider sequel on the Route 53 Extension. The daily commuter isn't even expected to notice. Lake County has plenty of senior citizens riding around on their Harley Davidsons, as it is."

Your LakeCountyEye was all like: and not to mention good ole boys in pickups with gun racks.

"And the LCDOT is already stockpiling barrels of yellow-line paint", continued Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "for a remake of the Wizard of Oz. Tell your ops there will be an open casting call for munchkin extras."

Your LakeCountyEye made a mental note.

"This financing plan will also help save on construction costs." added Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "They will only have to build the bridges half-way across the overpasses. For a remake of Thelma and Louise."

Your LakeCountyEye was none too pleased to hear that. Something else to avoid during rush hour.

"And think about this." cautioned Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "After one or two Chicago winters the Route 53 Extension is expected to revert back to its feral state -- a post-apocalyptic moonscape of potholes and roadkill and homeless squatters. Well, one Hollywood studio has already optioned the rights."

Your LakeCountyEye had a hunch. Another Mad Max movie?

"No flies on you today." chuckled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "I've heard that the the International Demolition Derby Association -- as well as NASCAR -- have sent out feelers."

Your LakeCountyEye heard enough. Was there any parting advice?

"Tell your ops," said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "that if the location shots on Duck Dynasty look familiar, they'll know why."

Addressing Mental Illness in the Justice System Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy

Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart, a nationally recognized leader for his innovations in law enforcement techniques and policies, will speak on the growing crisis of mental illness in the criminal justice system. Dart and his staff have worked to reduce over-crowding at the jail and instituted programs to provide job skills for inmates. He re-structured the Sheriff's Police Force and improved the operations of the Court Services Department. And he launched the Office of Mental Health Policy and Advocacy which operates a 24-hour Care Line for mentally ill ex-inmates and families of current mentally inmates, while screening all "pre-bond" detainees for mental illness. He has received many awards from national and local mental health advocacy organizations for his efforts to end what has become a de facto criminalization of mental illness.

• Sunday
  September 28, 2014
  2:00 pm
• The Stevenson Center on Democracy
  25200 N St Mary's Rd
  Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
  773- 281-0378
• Admission: $15
• Coffee and conversation following

Small Compensation

Illinois's billionaire candidates are amping up their efforts to buy themselves the November election.  Unless they win, they will be forced to pay their employees a decent wage.

Haha, a Chicago Tribune poll says a large majority of voters want to raise the minimum wage:

The poll found 69 percent of Illinois voters back an increase in the state's $8.25-an-hour minimum wage to $10 by Jan. 1 for adults over age 18.
Poll: Illinois voters back referendum issues

Local planners have positioned Lake County to uniquely benefit from an increased minimum wage. That's because the average Lake County job starts at $4.95 per hour.

They say a rising tide lifts all boats -- and what is true for Blarney Island will be true for Lake County. A $1.75 hike in the minimum wage will mean a sudden increase in discretionary spending, county-wide. Industries expected to benefit, above all, include video gaming, medical marijuana and gun sales.

Operatives eager to participate in the good times are advised to get in on the ground floor and snag themselves a good Lake County minimum wage job, while they are still to be gotten. Your LakeCountyEye has been told there are only about 10 left:

Lake County's Ten Best Minimum Wage Jobs

Bouncer at the Quonset Highly Paid Satirical Blogger CN Railroad Cowcatcher Attendant Libertyville TIF District Meter Maid Woodpecker Hole Inspector on the Goliath Rollercoaster Special Fundraising Facilitator to the Illinois Route 53/120 Blue Ribbon Advisory Council Finance Committee Curator of the Lake County Election Commission National Monument Barrington Hills Bicycle Repairman Rap Star News-Sun Fact Checker

Look for your LakeCountyEye, workin it.

The Loan Arranger

Your LakeCountyEye recalls, back-in-the-day, when rollercoasters were made of wood, and they gave away razors so as to make out like bandits selling the razorblades. Times have not changed. Nowadays, they still build rollercoasters out of wood, and they give away student loans so as to make out like bandits collecting the interest.

Obtaining a student loan, to be sure, is not for the faint of heart. Luckily, Peter Roskam is giving a usurious 110% of effort to borrowers and lenders alike. Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, is touting legislation that will make it easier to obtain a student loan:

At a time when our economy is still weak from the recession, lawmakers must step up to ensure college remains affordable for our nation's kids.
Roskam: Making college more affordable for everyone

And as if to prove he isn't making empty (campaign) promises to cash-strapped parents of callow college students, Roskam visited Enterprise Recovery Systems, a student loan collection agency. Roskam talked about the Telephone Consumer Protection Act (TCPA), which prohibits collection agencies -- like Enterprise Recovery Systems -- from contacting student loan deadbeats on their cellphones -- like the awesome new iPhone 6 Plus:

Employees also voiced concerns that collection agencies are currently restricted from calling student loan borrowers on their cell phones due to TCPA rules, and Roskam encouraged employees to engage the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) through letter writing and advocacy campaigns. According to a recent Center for Disease Control (CDC) study, 57.1% of all American households now are either exclusively or predominantly wireless. They asked what Congress can do to persuade the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) to modernize the regulations for the TCPA.
Enterprise Recovery Systems Hosts Congressional Visit By Rep. Peter Roskam

Here Roskam poses with someone from Enterprise Recovery Systems. Roskam is the management-looking guy in the corporate suit:

If you have a student loan and you suddenly start getting text messages from Loan.Shark@house.gov, you know who to thank: Congressman Peter Roskam!

Not Even with a 10 Point Poll

Are cowcatchers a legitimate campaign expense? They should be, because the National Republican Senatorial Committee just threw Jim Oberweis under the bus.

Haha, US Senate candidate Jim Oberweis just got some bad news. The Chicago Tribune is saying that ...

An official with the National Republican Senatorial Committee on Thursday declined to commit to giving money to Illinois state Sen. Jim Oberweis in his bid to oust three-term Democratic U.S. Sen. Dick Durbin.
National GOP group won't commit to helping Oberweis

It was just week ago that Oberweis was riding high on the results of a fake self-commissioned poll that had him within striking distance of sweet November victory. But, as readers of this blog are keenly aware ...

I Scream You Scream We All Scream

your LakeCountyEye quickly followed-up with the only poll that matters: the candid camera poll. A photograph of Oberweis talking to a half empty room in Algonquin went viral, and no sooner had the NRSC caught wind of this macaca moment did they pull the plug on the high flying Oberweis campaign. Coincidence? Note to ops: in winner-take-all electoral politics, there are no coincidences.

Operatives are advised to throw away those useless bookmarks. Some websites -- Real Clear Politics, FiveThirtyEight, even the Princeton Election Consortium, for instance -- merely track the opinions. But how many lead the opinions?

I Scream You Scream We All Scream

Your LakeCountyEye be totally liveblogging from the Oberweis Dairy, conveniently located on 5572 Grand Ave, Gurnee. That banana royal sundae on the soda fountain looks awesomely flavorsome. Toppings include caramel, chocolate, pineapple, strawberry.

In related news, the bloggers at the McHenryCountyBlog said ...

A newly released poll commissioned by IL U.S. Senate candidate Jim Oberweis shows him trailing by only six points against 32-year career politician Dick Durbin.
Oberweis poll shows race at 6 points

Jim Oberweis spoke Wednesday at an Algonquin Township Republican Central Committee meeting ...

U.S. Senate hopeful Jim Oberweis updates Republicans in Algonquin

... where he drew some 30 people -- a hefty number for any US Senate candidate on a meteoric rise up in the polls.

The shutterbugs at the McHenryCountyBlog got some snapshots of the event:

Jim Oberweis Addresses Algonquin Township Republicans

Even if the suits and the party hacks were eliminated from the room count, it is clear that career politician Jim Oberweis drew maybe 10 or 15 people -- a hefty number for any US Senate candidate on a meteoric rise up in the polls!

In the meantime, don't forget to visit your Oberweis Dairy, conveniently located at 684 S Rand Rd, Lake Zurich. Look for your LakeCountyEye, making doe eyes at a peanut butter sundae, wrapped in a fresh baked waffle bowl.

Upwardly Mobile

Labor Day falls 2 months before the November election, and traditionally marks the start of the campaign season. To political operatives, Labor Day traditionally marks the start of next-job-seeking season, for many of the same reasons.

Political ops, marginally employable in the best of circumstances, are advised not to despair. That's because municipal elections are scheduled for April 2015 -- just around the corner after the real election on November 4th. In anticipation of this municipal election, trustees from the Village of Park City voted to give themselves a raise -- $7,200 -- up from $6,000. It is not too late to be a candidate on the Park City ballot!

Park City's Mayor told the News-Sun ...

the raise will help ensure the city council attracts higher caliber candidates while also retaining experienced members.
Park City Council votes to give itself a raise in 2015

Illinois State law does impose residency restrictions on city council candidates. Ops are asked to make up their own jokes here. Move along.

Go Play in Traffic

He may not believe women have a right to basic health care. He may not believe their children have a right to basic nutrition & educational services. He may not believe a woman has a right to make her own reproductive decisions. Nonetheless, the women of the 6th District vote to send Lake County Congressman Peter Roskam back to Washington year after year. How does he do it?

No, Peter Roskam is not at war against women at all, and he can prove it: he wants to stop human trafficking. According to the Daily Herald, Roskam recently sponsored a forum on human trafficking ...

"It (human trafficking) is happening in the suburbs," Roskam said. "It is happening in ways that should be apparent to us, but we don't even see it." Human trafficking is defined as obtaining a service through force, fraud or coercion, officials said. It could either be labor trafficking or sex trafficking.
Roskam: Human trafficking a growing threat in suburbs

To ensure that the suburbs are protected from the scourge of human trafficking, Roskam voted for H.R. 5272. This overwhelmingly House Republican supported bill will ...

make it easier for the government to deport Central American minors who have entered the United States illegally.
House passes two Republican measures in response to surge of child migrants

These same children that enter the United States illegally will never be exposed to human trafficking in the Chicago suburbs. That's because they will be sent back home. Where they can be prey instead to the human traffickers from where they came from.

A Mixed Meta Fore!

Not to be outdone by the Goliath -- the 2,000,000 gallon wooden roller coaster -- the Village of Gurnee plans to erect a 2 million gallon water tower. The Sun-Times described the municipal water tower:

The proposed water tank would have the appearance of a large golf ball on a tee. It would be 175-feet tall and hold 2 million gallons of Lake Michigan water supplied by Gurnee's primary supplier, the Central Lake County Joint Action Water Agency.
Trustees consider 2-million-gallon water tower for west Gurnee

The golf pro at the Lake County Forest Preserves explained in a press release that God should approach this tee with a 3-wood or heavier. Everyone else should play it like any other water hazard.

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Please play through.

An Eye for an Eye:09.05.09

Your LakeCountyEye is preoccupied with applying for a seat on the Medical Marijuana Advisory Board. In the meantime, please enjoy this encore presentation of a post from a few years ago:

Saturday, September 5, 2009 Set in Stone The latest scuttlebutt comes down the pike from your LakeCountyEye's sister blog, the TeamAmerica10th. Lisa Stone -- a Buffalo Grove Trustee -- is being talked about as a possible candidate for Rep District 59: Look here for Stone's village trustee website, which is pretty darn impressive for a local candidate. State Rep. Sid Mathias and County Board Member David Stolman were Stone's honorary campaign chairmen and resoundingly endorsed her candidacy for trustee. Lineup in 59th District Continues to Evolve; Might Lisa Stone Run as a Dem or Republican? Plus, Bird Flies from 10th District Race Your LakeCountyEye doesn't mind saying that Lisa Stone is one elected official worth watching. Is it any wonder that Stone caught the discerning eye of Lake County Board Commissioner David Stolman? Here's what Stone has to say about Stolman on the Buffalo Grove Patch: Yes, I put myself in the public eye, but only after Lake County Chairman David Stolman persuaded me to run for Trustee...it wasn't even a sparkle in my eye! I didn't know you could be a Trustee without a college degree, so it was not on my radar! When I got BSL legislation in the late 90's I thought that one day it would be interesting to get involved in local government, but I was told that one must have a degree to be a Trustee, so the irony all the way around is incredible. Response To My Cyber-Shadow No, Lisa, you do not need a college degree to be a Buffalo Grove Trustee, or for that matter to hold nearly any other elected office in Illinois.  All you need is a David Stolman -- someone with the proven judgement and the political clout -- to draw you out of relative obscurity and thrust you into the political limelight! Posted by Barney Baxter at 11:00 PM 121 comments   Labels: David Stolman

Your LakeCountyEye: keeping an eye on the past since 2009.

Absent Without Keef

Chief Keef, these days, may be impersonating the lonely shepherd: he's on the lam. Haha, Lake County favorite son rapstar, Chief Keef, is in the news again. The News-Sun says ...

Chicago rapper Chief Keef missed a court hearing Friday for a municipal traffic ticket for driving under the influence of marijuana, spurring a Lake County judge to issue a $50,000 bench warrant for his arrest.
Chief Keef wanted on warrant for missing DUI court hearing

Local bounty hunters agree that Chief Keef may not be in Lake County, where the heat is on. He had been seen last year riding an RV around and around a rented house in Northbrook:

Some speculate that he now may be bunking in McHenry County, where there are no zoning restrictions on recreational vehicles.

However your LakeCountyEye would not be surprised if Chief Keef was openly residing in downtown Lake Zurich. Because nobody ever goes there.

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Move along to Rock the Block.

Q the Eye/08.23.14

Dear LakeCountyEye,

Help -- the summertime pests are swarming! There are millions of them out there, and I'm afraid to leave my house. And I don't mean mosquitoes, I mean bicyclists. I can call the Southlake Mosquito Abatement District to spray the mosquitoes. Is there a Bicycle Abatement District that I can call?

Lance Strongarm

Dear Tour de Farce,

One local community shares your pain. Barrington Hills, observed the Daily Herald, is ...

where residents and cyclists are in a nasty battle over access to the town's scenic, tree-lined roads. Residents say their roads are being clogged by unlawful, unsafe riders of the "professional biking community, clad in spandex." Bicyclists, they say, flout the rules of the road, block vehicles from passing and, in some cases, have been caught urinating in yards.
Residents, cyclists feud over Barrington Hills roads

In retaliation, the residents of Barrington Hills are posting stern but tasteful yardsigns ...

... hoping that those pesky bicyclists will take a hint and scoot off to someone else's community. Haha, good luck with that.

You're better off following the lead of McHenry County. As readers of this blog are aware ...

Whatever Floats Your Boat

McHenry County has no zoning restrictions, and many front yards there come well-stocked with boats and RVs and anything else that will balance on four cinder blocks. These are not exactly scenic tree-lined vistas that tend to attract bicyclers.

So if you want those bicyclists to go away, do as they do in McHenry County and proudly exhibit that pontoon boat and that busted washing machine and that Ford F150 engine right on your front yard.

Also, get rid of those cute little yardsigns and post some of these badboys instead:

You will be surprised how quickly those bicyclists make like a scenic, tree-lined vista and leave.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ... LakeCountyEye@gMail.com

Whatever Floats Your Boat

Unlike Brigadoon, McHenry County lies due west of Lake County, 365 days a year. And unlike Brigadoon, McHenry County can boast more than its share of frontyard recreational vehicles. According to the Northwest Herald ...

A standing-room-only audience came out in force at Tuesday evening's McHenry County Board meeting to object to language in the proposed Unified Development Ordinance that restricts how recreational vehicles are parked and stored in front of homes. Present county ordinances, which the UDO is intended to replace, have no such restrictions.
Opposition to McHenry County RV restrictions come out in force

In related news, the Lake County Emergency Management Agency is not about to pass up an opportunity for a free resource. According to the Daily Herald ...

A flash flood warning was issued for portions of Cook, Lake and DuPage counties this morning due to heavy overnight rains, meteorologists say.
Heavy overnight rains close roads across suburbs

As a consequence, the Lake County Emergency Management Agency has posted revised guidelines for a flood emergency:

How to Respond to a Flood in Lake County ... Immediately Drive West to McHenry County Locate a Boat or Recreational Vehicle Parked in Someone's Front Yard Get In

Look for your LakeCountyEye, commandeering a schooner near you.

No Compliants

Good news for those embattled Asian Jumping Fish invading Lake Michigan: the people of Lake County are being asked to quit their carping. The News-Sun says the Village of Wauconda ...

declared Oct. 28, 2014 "Complaint Free Day," and the entire month of October dedicated to establishing a "Complaint Free Community."
Wauconda aims to go 'Complaint Free'

One nearby town was not to be outdone. In 2013 the Village of Hawthorn Woods was required to process 85 FOIA requests, and complained to the Daily Herald that it cost ...

$4,247.59 last year, or an average cost of about $50 per request.
FOIA requests, costs increasing in many municipalities

Your LakeCountyEye has now been told to expect the Village of Hawthorn Woods to declare a "FOIA Free Month" and establish itself as a "FOIA Free Community".

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Move along within 5 business days.

Is Lake County Up in Arms?

Sleep easy tonight. Your Lake County law enforcement agencies are armed to the teeth. According to the New York Times, Lake County police arsenals are awash in surplus military weaponry, and can boast no fewer than ...

• 182 Assault Rifles
• 77 Body Armor Pieces
• 190 Night Vision Pieces
• 7 Shotguns
• 32 Pistols
• 2 Mine-Resistant Vehicles
• 2 Other Armored Vehicles
• 8 Helicopters

State and local police departments obtain some of their military-style equipment through a free Defense Department program created in the early 1990s.
Mapping the Spread of the Military’s Surplus Gear

Is a mine-resistant vehicle a terrible thing to waste? For the answer to this and other loaded questions, your LakeCountyEye visited Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Mutual Assured Destruction at the College of Lake County.

The metal detector there seemed to be on the fritz and Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi agreed to meet in the parking lot, where he said: "So, why is Lake County stockpiling all these weapons? Two words: the Zombie Apocalypse. Haha, just kidding."

Your LakeCountyEye did not think this was a joking matter.

"Absolutely." replied Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Concealed Carry is the reason why your police department needs all this close-combat ordnance. When Barney Fife pulls you over for a traffic stop, he doesn't know what kind of weapons you are carrying. Naturally he wants to approach your vehicle in full body armor, and with an assault rifle pointed at you."

That didn't explain the need for the mine-resistant vehicles.

"Have you ever been in a police chase?" asked Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Well I have. Trust me, you don't want to run over a Lake County pothole in anything less than an armored personnel carrier."

... or explain the need for night-vision goggles.

"I shouldn't be telling you this," smiled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "but the next time one of your ops gets nabbed stealing a yardsign, you'll know why."

Your LakeCountyEye was still skeptical. Then what about all those helicopters?

Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi had a puzzled look. "How else is a peace officer supposed to drop agent orange on an unlicensed medical marijuana farm?"

Was there any parting advice? Your LakeCountyEye was late for a court-ordered anger management class.

"Tell your ops up in Wisconsin to think twice ..." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "... if they ever intend to declare war on Lake County."

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Repeat Redux

Studies have shown that there is at least 60% recycled material to be found in a typical LakeCountyEye blog post:

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Repeat

It goes without saying: as goes your LakeCountyEye, so goes Lake County. According to the Daily Herald, the County's five-year garbage management plan recommends ...

Lake County boost its recycling rate from 47 percent to 60 percent by 2020.
Recycling options part of Lake County waste management plan

Not to be outdone, your LakeCountyEye has a five-year waste management plan: Put the trash on the curb and hope a truck manages to pick it up before five years.

If you are like your LakeCountyEye then your garbage can is filled to the brim with obsolete 4G devices, and you no-doubt fret over how to match that with 60% recycled material.  Well fret no more, you would be surprised about what is allowed in your recycle bin. And not just surprised once, but ten times:

Ten Items to Look for in a Lake County Recycle Bin

Stolen Yardsigns Medical Marijuana Farm Yardwaste Empties Photocopies of Nominating Petitions Dominick's Coupons Non-Wooden Roller Coaster Spare Parts State Representative 61 Campaign Constituent Outreach Mailers Pre-used Lake Michigan Water The Lake County Election Commission Route 53 Extension Promises

Look for your LakeCountyEye recreating near you.

The High Court

Job seekers take note, Lake County has a new growth industry: Medical Marijuana. But don't head to that garden shop for pots and a grow light -- it's not what you think. The growth industry is in medical marijuana Regulation. Now that vendors are free to dispense medical marijuana, Lake County is scrambling to pass tough new zoning laws:

Park City amends zoning law for medical marijuana, adult use

Buffalo Grove trustees send proposed marijuana store to zoning board

Buffalo Grove could get Lake County's first marijuana dispensary

Mundelein residents spar over medical marijuana

Highland Park wants to keep medical pot business low key

Lake County has been allocated three marijuana dispensary licenses, and these businesses can set up shop anywhere they like. And County villages cannot do anything about it, except legislate onerous zoning restrictions and regulations in the hope that the dispensaries will go someplace else.

That's right, Lake County is lawyering up. One unanimous village clerk told your LakeCountyEye that they are "desperately seeking legal talent that knows how to craft an iron-clad & loophole-free ordinance that will tell those marijuana dispensers in no uncertain terms just who is boss."  In other words, Lake County villages are looking for attorneys who are not afraid to look these free-market entrepreneurs in the eye -- and regulate them out of business. If you got the right stuff (and are licensed to practice law in Illinois) Lake County needs you.

What are you waiting for? Get rolling!

A Prop in the Bucket

Ladies and gentlemen, start your Jet Skis. The Waukegan Harbor is finally clean. The News-Sun observes that ...

U.S. Sen. Mark Kirk has been collecting mud from the Waukegan Harbor for 14 years, but he was able to stop Tuesday. Kirk, R-Ill., was joined by Gov. Pat Quinn, Waukegan Mayor Wayne Motley, U.S. Sen. Richard Durbin, D-Ill., and U.S. Rep. Brad Schneider, D-10th, along with other local leaders, when the Environmental Protection Agency officially unclassified the harbor as a Great Lakes Area of Concern during a ceremony at the harbor's Stiner Pavilion. "Get my bucket," Kirk said when it was his turn to speak.
After 30-year cleanup, Waukegan Harbor 'open for business'

The Lolrus was unavailable for comment.

Weigh anchor ye landlubbers. That's all your LakeCountyEye has.

High Relief

Lake County has been allocated three medical marijuana dispensary licenses. Some municipalities are reacting with more than token resistance. The Sun-Times says ...

The City of Highland Park can't bar a medical marijuana dispensary from setting up shop in town, but it's proposing to ban terms like marijuana, cannabis, weed and pot on signs identifying the business.
Highland Park wants to keep medical pot business low key

For the straight dope on the story, your LakeCountyEye hit up Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of High Finance at the College of Lake County.

"I can see why they are freaking out in Highland Park." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "If I were some stoner who just drove down from Wisconsin, where would I go? Downers Grove? I don't think so. I would make a beeline for a town with a name like Highland Park. Why not just go and call your town Bong Grove or something?"

Your LakeCountyEye noted the unfortunate confluence of village appellation and statutory mandate.

"Don't expect them to call the dispensary anything like the Pot-in-a-Box Clinic either." Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi said with air-quotes. "Not classy enough. Also, the High Roller Exchange has already been trademarked by the Park City Casino, so that one is a non-starter as well."

Your LakeCountyEye was beginning to appreciate how runaway government regulation is a reef that wrecks the hopes of able bodied businessmen throughout Lake County.

"Well, all the tea in China isn't going to change that fact that there is a lot of money to be made." opined Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "You set up a strip mall with a marijuana dispensary, and nextdoor a 24 hour convenience mart, and next to that a weight-loss clinic, and pretty soon you are looking at some serious cash."

That must be what they mean by corporate synergy, mused your LakeCountyEye.

"We'll know right away if the city decides to green-light the dispensary." Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi confided. "Just watch to see if [Lake County Rap Star] Chief Keef moves back to Highland Park."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep an eye peeled.

"Bear in mind that some towns would welcome a marijuana dispensary, and are offering incentives." continued Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Like free yard waste service for the seeds and stems."

Your LakeCountyEye needed to know if there was there any parting advice for the ops.

"These marijuana dispensaries will all be zoned commercial." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Keep on truckin!"