There's an App for That

Whoever said ...

There are No Do-Overs in Life

never appealed his property taxes.

Haha, does anyone in Lake County know what the true assessed value of their home really should be? It would appear not, because everyone is appealing their assessment. And by everyone, your LakeCountyEye means everyone enough to overwhelm the system. According to the Daily Herald ...

The Lake County Board of Review is seeking additional members to assist with property tax assessment appeal hearings from July through November. Appointees are paid $250 per full day. Eligible applicants must have experience and training in property appraisal and taxes, and pass an Illinois Department of Revenue exam to be given at 9 a.m. April 12, at the Kane County Government Center, 719 Batavia Ave. Geneva. Visit www.revenue.state.il.us for review materials. Seating is limited.
Lake County seeks help with tax appeals

Note to Ops: $250 a day is nothing to sneeze at. At full-time rates that works out to sixty-five grand a year. Of course they don't make it easy to get on board -- you need to go to Geneva (Illinois) and pass an assessor's exam.

One spokesman, however, offered some helpful tips to applicants: "If you don't have transportation to Geneva, there is always Uber. And if you don't think you will pass, you can always ask your driver to take the exam for you. Also, if that driver passes, he can sit on the review board for you -- and you can turn that extra free-time into extra cash by driving for Uber!"

A win-win for everyone by your LakeCountyEye's reckoning.

Spin Out

Does anyone remember Aaron Lawlor? It has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that Lawlor -- the celebrity Chairman of the Lake County Board -- has not been in news, anywhere, for a couple of months. So this would be a good time to post part two of a conversation ...

Referendee and Referendum

... with Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Historian of Lake County Chairmanships at the College of Lake County.

"Did you hear that Aaron Lawlor is gay?" said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "You could've bowled me over with a butter nut squash."

The news was a complete surprise to your LakeCountyEye. The News-Sun got the scoop when they asked Lawlor to clarify some public remarks made at a diversity conference:

After the event, Lawlor, 34, said in a phone interview that he "meant to share with the audience that I'm gay."
Lake County Board chairman reveals he's gay at tolerance event

"Smart politics." nodded Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Politicians know that Lake County voted for Hillary Clinton over Donald Trump by an incredible 58 to 37 margin. Especially Republican politicians. If they hope to get re-elected in 2018 they need to put as much distance as possible between themselves and the head of their Party, Donald Trump -- who is red meat radioactive. A GOP candidate could start by telling the press he is gay -- even if he is not!"

Your LakeCountyEye strongly suspects Lawlor is.

"Lawlor is a special case." confided Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Suppose Lawlor decided to run for higher office. Like Lieutenant Governor. Or even State Senate. What do you think his Republican Primary opponents would all be whispering?"

That Lawlor is gay?

Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi smiled. "And what do you think his Republican Primary opponents will not be whispering -- now?"

That Lawlor is gay?

"Smart politics." chuckled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi.

Then what was up with the public histrionics? Lawlor's announcement was delivered like he was trying to sneak it in through the back door. A cringe inducing moment, to say the least. Your LakeCountyEye played the video on a Grindr app:

Aaron Lawlor Speaks at "A Welcoming and Inclusive Community - Summit of Leaders"

"Ya," grimaced Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "it looks more like he's being prepped for a colonoscopy there."

And your LakeCountyEye couldn't help but notice Lake County State's Attorney Michael Nerheim seated behind the podium.

"Nerheim never batted an eyelash." observed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "To be fair, no one ever listens to these speeches. Nerheim might have been doing math problems in his head. Like how many wrongful prosecution judgments can the County absorb, without going belly up."

Embrace the crazy. Did Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"You can break some news. Tell your operatives that Princess Nudelman is gay."

If it's Saturday this must be Tbilisi

Note to Ops: A secret is only as good as the government that protects it.

As readers of this blog are aware ...

Out of Sight Out of Mind

Representative Peter Roskam is on an overseas junket spy mission -- whereabouts top-secret and unknown.

Your LakeCountyEye can now report that Roskam has been seen in Georgia -- and not Georgia aka the Peach State. Vestigial Lake County Congressman Peter Roskam is in Georgia, aka საქართველო.

Russian hackers have sent your LakeCountyEye the exclusive smoking-gun video:

US Congressmen:
"We have great admiration for the progress being made in Georgia"

Being overseas, Roskam here is shown answering questions from his constituents during an impromptu telephone town-hall. Since the phones don't work in Tbilisi, however, the meeting devolved into a bunch of apparatchiks giving speeches at a podium.

Roskam can be seen standing, in the Brooks Brothers grey suit.

Out of Sight Out of Mind

I met a man at a free town-hall,
Who was not Peter Roskam at all.
I asked him whether if he knew,
Neither was I Peter Roskam, too.
Roskamisgone

Haha, anyone hoping to see Congressman Peter Roskam any time soon has their work cut out for them. According to the Patch ...

Congressman Peter Roskam is on a House Democracy Partnership trip abroad this week while some of his constituents were hoping to meet with him.
Rep. Peter Roskam On Trip Promoting Democracy Abroad While Constituents Seek Meetings At Home

Roskam's trip is under press embargo; the whereabouts of the vestigial Lake County Congressman are top-secret:

The delegation is traveling with the military and their security protocols do not allow for the for public disclosure of their travel plans until they have returned.
Rep. Peter Roskam On Trip Promoting Democracy Abroad While Constituents Seek Meetings At Home

Roskam is traveling as the Chair of the House Democracy Partnership:

The mission of the House Democracy Partnership is to promote responsive, effective government and strengthen democratic institutions by assisting legislatures in emerging democracies. Central to our work is peer-to-peer cooperation to build technical expertise in partner legislatures that will enhance accountability, transparency, legislative independence, access to information, and government oversight.
Mission : House Democracy Partnership

One high ranking spokesman said: "The purpose of the trip is to expose overseas governments to our democratic ideals. For instance, Congressman Roskam has been schooling foreign legislators on the art of avoiding the voters. As the case may be, by scheduling for yourself plenty of overseas junkets."

Note to Ops: Button those lips!

Where's Colombo?

Note to Peter Roskam campaign operatives: If it's Tuesday this must be Ceylon.

Voters hoping to get in touch with their Representative in Congress, Peter Roskam, need to search no longer. Roskam, the vestigial Lake County Congressman, is on a tour of Capitol cities -- next stop Colombo.

But before you purchase that Greyhound bus ticket, the Colombo in question is not the Capitol of the Buckeye state. No, this Colombo is the Capitol of Sri Lanka. Which is quite different indeed.

According to the ColomboPage, a Sri Lankan (English-language) news site:

A bipartisan delegation from the United States House of Representatives visiting Sri Lanka paid a courtesy call on President Maithripala Sirisena on Tuesday at the Presidential Secretariat. The delegation to Sri Lanka as part of the House Democracy Partnership (HDP) is led by HDP Chairman, Congressman Peter Roskam (Republican-Illinois)
Representatives of US Congress laud Sri Lanka's transformative process

Roskam's overseas outing included a stop in Kosovo earlier this week, where he met the Prime Minister and other officials.  One spokesman for the Congressman said: "Peter Roskam wants to talk to all of his constituents. Just send your name, your formal title, and country where you are currently head of state. We'll do the rest."

Here Peter Roskam is seen chatting with one voter, (Sri Lanka) President Maithripala Sirisena:

Roskam is seated on the left.

Way Down in Kosovo

If most bullying happens during recess.  And if Congress is in recess all this week. Then will Congressman Peter Roskam use this recess to take up the bully pulpit at a townhall meeting with his constituents?

Haha, most Representatives take advantage of these recesses to return to their Districts and talk to their voters. But it should be no surprise that vestigial Lake County Congressman Peter Roskam will not be like most Representatives. Unless his District is on the Balkan Peninsula. And his voters speak Serbian. According to the Daily Herald ...

A bipartisan delegation from the U.S. House of Representatives is visiting Kosovo to reiterate the strong support for the nation. In its two-day visit, the delegation led by Republican Peter Roskam will meet Kosovo's prime minister, Assembly (parliament) speaker, lawmakers and civil society.
US Congress delegation in Kosovo to show bipartisan support

A spokesman said that if any of his constituents would like to talk to Peter Roskam, the Congressman will be at the Priština Starbucks, Thursday, 3:00 to 3:15 pm. (Roskam will be wearing the American flag lapel-pin.)

Members of the press are not invited.

The 2017 Doomsday Clock: Why the Time Matters

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy

Rachel Bronson, Executive Director and Publisher of the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists will discuss how issues of nuclear arms, energy, and climate change impact the stability and future of countries around the globe. She will make her presentation, The 2017 Doomsday Clock: Why the Time Matters. The Doomsday Clock, first introduced by the Bulletin 70 years ago, is an iconic graphic that warns the public about how close we are to destroying our world with dangerous technologies of our own making.

• Sunday
  February 26, 2017
  2:00 pm
• The Stevenson Center on Democracy
  25200 N St Mary's Rd
  Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
  847-816-7433
• $15
  No Charge for Students

Referendee and Referendum

Historians cite a couple of facts about this well-known saying ...

The two things you don't want to watch being made are laws and sausages.

They will tell you that the sausages in question are links. And if anyone had ever said it, he was not Aaron Lawlor. That's because the Lake County Board passed a law (sponsored by Board Chair Lawlor), to change a law currently working its way through Springfield that would change how the Lake County Board Chairman is selected:

Lawlor's proposed amendment could ask voters in 2018 if they want to change how the chairman is chosen, as well as if the board should shrink and redraw boundaries using a nonpartisan system.
Lake County Board supports plan to ask voters if they want to pick chairman

Confused? Rather than try to work it out with a pencil, your LakeCountyEye looked up Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Enigmatology Professor at the College of Lake County.

"Ya, Aaron Lawlor is as mad as an old wet hen." chuckled Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "They want to pass a bill in Springfield that will force Lawlor to campaign if he wants to be the Lake County Chair any more."

Your LakeCountyEye did not follow. Then why does Lawlor want a ballot referendum that will ask the voters if they want to elect their County Chair?

"Are you familiar with the Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi three stages of Lokal Realpolitik?"

Stage 1: Your idea is crazy.
Stage 2: OK your idea may not be crazy, but it will be more trouble than it's worth.
Stage 3: Great idea! Glad I thought of it.

"When the unthinkable becomes a political reality" continued Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "the way out is to claim it was your idea all along. Lawlor's referendum is a message to the voters that when they get to vote for their County Board Chair, be sure to vote for the person who made that possible: Aaron Lawlor"

Then why is Lawlor also asking for a second referendum, to reduce the County Board from 21 to 17 members?

"To cut back on budget expenses?" deadpanned Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi.

Your LakeCountyEye was all like: Haha, you're too funny.

"Haha. Haha." snorted Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "I cracked myself up with that one. Board member salaries aren't even a decimal point out of the total County budget. But voters don't know that. They just love to vote for these free-lunch referendums. Look at how many of them voted for the Route 53 Referendum in 2009."

But what is the payoff behind reducing the Board to 17 members?

"If you reduce the size of the Board" sighed Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "you increase your chances to get re-elected."

How so?

"What every incumbent fears" confided Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "is someone unknown to you, walking your district, knocking on every door, talking to your voters, stealing your election. But if you make your district big enough, then you make it impossible for that opponent to talk to all your voters. And you never have to worry about ever campaigning again."

Your LakeCountyEye was chagrinned. Then why not reduce the County Board to 15 or maybe even 11 districts?"

"Don't tell anyone" whispered Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "but there is a plan in the works to reduce the County Board to one district."

Too much crazy. Did Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your operatives that if they like the idea of President-for-Life Donald Trump, then they will love County-Board-Chairman-for-Life Aaron Lawlor!"

A Plugged Nick

Donald Trump may have been on more covers of Time than everyone else in the world -- combined. But Nick Sauer has been on more covers of the Barrington Country Magazine:

Mr. Sauer
Goes to Springfield

Haha. (Lake County incipient State Representative) Nick Sauer's cover photo caught the eye of the CapitolFaxBlog last week, who quickly responded with (what else?) a ...

Caption contest!

The CapitolFaxBlog attracts some of the highest rankin' prankers in the Land'o'Lancoln. And, long story short, your LakeCountyEye found ten captions that were at the very least good-enough:

The 10 Funniest Nick Sauer Caption Contest! Comments

Dyno Sauer! Hint: Springfield is located in a prominent Midwestern state. Q: Is that Aaron Schock? A: Mr Schock will be available for a cover-shoot in February of 2037. Tuxedo Courtesy the Men's Wearhouse We Have the Right Look for You‎ Not Shown: Big Boy™ pants (black) Nick has the intestinal fortitude not to vote for Speaker Madigan. Fantastic website, great post, I will link to this at Fast Internet Dating Online Can't Spell Metrosexual Without ME Q: Is that Aaron Lawlor?

Look for your LakeCountyEye saying cheese near you.

All Over Hell and Half of Georgia

The joke around Washington DC is that Peter Roskam would even decline to attend his own funeral.

Haha. Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, has now declined an offer to attend a gathering of voters hosted by the LWV:

U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam, R-Wheaton, has declined an invitation by seven League of Women Voters groups to be part of a constituents meeting Feb. 23.
U.S. Rep. Roskam declines invitation to be part of Feb. 23 constituents meeting; congressman agrees to meet with League of Women Voters, media not permitted

Constituents who want to see Roskam are advised instead to pack a suitcase. That is because the far-flung Congressman plans to be in Georgia. And not the Georgia of the Georgia Bulldogs:

Nope, Peter Roskam will be in the Georgia of Eduard Shevardnadze:

Your LakeCountyEye can report exclusively that Peter Roskam is meeting Georgian Foreign Minister Mikheil Janelidze this week, in Washington. And will be travelling to Georgia later this month.

According to Civil Georgia, a Georgian (English-language) news site:

Congressman Peter Roskam (Rep.), who announced his Georgia visit at the end of February, stated that the sides talked on the "strong relationship" between Georgia and the United States. "We look at this as a very important relationship, we have a great deal of admiration for Georgia, the Georgian people and the struggles that they are up against and how they are living out a free and democratic way, which is a great example for the rest of the world," Roskam said.
Foreign Minister Announces U.S. Visit

It is not known if Tbilisi hosts a chapter of the League of Women Voters. Or if they will invite Roskam to a meeting of his constituents.

Sneaky Pete

Q:	Where is the least dangerous place in the world to be?
A:	Between Peter Roskam and a smartphone camera.

Haha, as readers of this blog are aware ...

Behind Closed Doors

Vestigial Lake County Congressman, Peter Roskam, spoke at a closed-door constituent meeting in Palatine this weekend. And while some 400 constituents were denied entry, the inevitable protest broke out outside:

And just as inevitably, when the meeting was over Peter Roskam snuck out the back alley.

Your LakeCountyEye has the exclusive video:

Peter Roskam Runs From Constituents

Note to Ops: If you are tasked with driving the Peter Roskam getaway vehicle, do not play Back Door Man on the sound system:

When everybody's tryin' to sleep,
I'm somewhere making my midnight creep.
Yes in the morning, when the rooster crow,
Something tell me, I got to go.
Back Door Man

Behind Closed Doors

Far flung Congressman Peter Roskam should be advised not to travel to McHenry County. He could get arrested there by the McHenryCountyBlog.

Roskam (the vestigial Lake County Congressman) was spotted this weekend at a closed-door public meeting in Palatine. Voters not permitted to be in the same room with Roskam assembled outside to protest:

More than 300 people describing themselves as concerned citizens of the 6th District of Illinois demonstrated outside the Palatine Township Republican Organization office early Saturday morning while U.S. Rep. Peter J. Roskam spoke at a meeting inside. The meeting, originally advertised as "free and open to the public," was changed to a "members only" gathering on Feb. 1.
Protesters gather outside GOP meeting attended by Roskam

Over in McHenry County, it is a criminal offense to attend a private meeting. At least according to the McHenryCountyBlog:

Dems Plot in Private in Lincoln Room

Dems Announce Secret Meeting Choices for Office

Dorr Township GOP Leader Tees Off on Democrats' Secrecy

Note to McHenry County Ops: If Peter Roskam does not show up at that meeting he scheduled with you, check your Sheriff's Department, first. He may be in the hoosegow.

Run Run Run Run Runway

If Peter Roskam is the groundhog, then we should expect six more weeks of winter. That's because team-Roskam emerged from their district office this week, saw a member of the press, and ran back inside.

Haha, as readers of this blog are aware ...

Flee-Pete

Roskam's office abruptly killed a constituent meeting on Tuesday, rather than face a reporter who was present:

"They brought a reporter with them and so that was not part of the understanding," Roskam said Thursday.
Rep. Roskam's office cancels ACA meeting when reporter shows up

The constituents were denied entry into Roskam's district office at the DuPage County Airport in West Chicago. When asked why the vestigial Lake County Congressman maintained a district office in a hard-to-access location like a County Airport, a spokesman for Peter Roskam said: "You never know when you need to make a fast get-away."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Flee-Pete

Note to Ops: While the #1 Rule in a courtroom is ...

Never ask a question which you do not know the answer.

The #1 Rule in politics is ...

Never let a voter ask a question which you do not know the answer.

Vestigial Lake County Congressman, Peter Roskam learned this rule the hard way. Roskam's office snubbed a group of constituents yesterday, rather than attend a meeting that was scheduled to discuss Obamacare:

A group of 16 constituents that arranged to meet with staff members at the West Chicago district office of U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam (R-Wheaton) Wednesday about their concerns with a repeal of the Affordable Care Act were abruptly told they would have to reschedule after staff realized a member of the press was present.
Rep. Roskam's office cancels ACA meeting when reporter shows up

The constituents included a cancer survivor and other at-risk patients. They arranged the meeting at Cong. Roskam's office to evaluate the impact a repeal of Obamacare would have on ordinary people's lives.

"I am flabbergasted that Peter Roskam and his staff would turn us away," the constituent said. "They didn't have the courtesy to listen to us. We are a peaceful group."
Rep. Roskam's office cancels ACA meeting when reporter shows up

An official spokesman issued a statement to explain why Peter Roskam did not meet with his constituents to discuss Obamacare: "Congressman Roskam called in sick today."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Trump Canards

Q:	What special code name has the Secret Service reserved for President Trump? HINT: Think of your favorite cartoon character.
A:	Donald! Duck!

Haha, like a Baby Huey incarnate, Donald J Trump smashed his way through his first week in the Oval Office, breaking all records. Among the collateral damage from President Trump's rampage was Lake County Vestigial Congressman, Peter Roskam:

Environmental advocates protested at U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam's office Monday, speaking out about fears that the Trump administration will reverse progress made to protect the globe from climate change. About 200 people crowded into a conference room down the hall from Roskam's office at DuPage Airport in West Chicago holding placards that read "Follow the science" and "Climate Action Now." The protest was timed to occur during Trump's first 100 hours as president.
Environmental activists protest in suburbs to send message to Trump

A Sierra Club member told the Chicago Tribune that ...

"Roskam is not exactly a climate change proponent. He has a bad record when it comes to this environmental issue."
Environmental activists protest in suburbs to send message to Trump

The Congressman's office issued a swift statement: "Peter Roskam has taken meaningful action already to combat global warming. He introduced legislation that would stop production of 80 commercial jets at Boeing. That adds up to 80 fewer fossil fuel burning airliners in the skies today!"

Still unanswered is why Cong. Roskam maintains his constituent office in a County Airport. Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Take a Run for Your Money

Note to those Ops vowing to make good on a promise to renounce their citizenship and move north of the border. It has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that Wisconsin is not a foreign country. Who knew?

For those who will ride out the next four years in the USA, there is, however, hope. The Penultimate President of the United States, Barack Obama, has a parting message for you:

If you're disappointed by your elected officials, grab a clipboard, get some signatures, and run for office yourself.
Sweet: Obama's goodbye — 'Yes we can. Yes we did.'

Will everyone who heard President Obama's call to action, please step forward? Because David McSweeney has a message for you as well:

Not so fast, there, Kaputnik!

Haha, McSweeney, Lake County's puffed-up State Representative, wants to make it harder for you to run for office -- not easier:

State Rep. David McSweeney, R-Barrington Hills, introduced another House bill this week that would prohibit new legislators elected or appointed after Nov. 6, 2018, from participating in the retirement system.
Lawmaker, officeholder pensions may fade away

Independent authorities agree. Combine Governor Bruce Rauner's attempt to stop payment of legislator salaries with McSweeney's bill to eliminate legislative pensions, then the only people left who could run for State office would be millionaires and billionaires. Like Bruce Rauner and David McSweeney.

A spokesman for former President Obama acknowledged the problem: "Absolutely. And we encourage everyone to grab a clipboard, get some signatures, run for office, and win the lottery!"

Note to Ops: You can't win if you don't play.

Go Fly a Kite

Perhaps laboring under a misapprehension that Hillary Clinton is the new President, Congressman Peter Roskam wants to send Chicago jobs overseas. Roskam hopes to kill a deal between Boeing and the government of Iran. According to Crain's ...

U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam has resumed his efforts to shoot down Boeing's deal to sell billions of dollars of passenger aircraft to Iran.
Roskam revives effort to block Boeing's Iran deal

And according to CNN ...

Iran Air took delivery last week of the first of 100 jets it has ordered from Airbus (EADSF). The first of 80 aircraft from Boeing (BA) are scheduled to arrive in 2018. The badly needed jets will reconstitute Iran's decrepit commercial aircraft fleet, which has been languishing under decades of Western sanctions. Peter Roskam, a Republican member of the House, introduced a bill on Friday to initiate an investigation by the Trump administration's Director of National Intelligence into Iran Air and the nation's other airlines. If Iran Air or any other airline were to be found to support the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps or foreign terrorist organizations, the airline would be added to the U.S. sanctions list and be prevented from receiving new aircraft or U.S.-made parts. That would effectively freeze the sale of jets from Boeing to Iran.
Congressman renews push that could kill Iran jet deals

Roskam, Lake County's vestigial congressman, is no stranger to travel abroad. Here's a photo from a recent Roskam visit to Europe and the Middle-East ...

Roskam Leads Chicago Delegation to Poland, Israel

Note to Peter Roskam Congressional-Travel Ops: If you kill the Boeing deal, your boss can always fly on a French-built Airbus.

Human Trafficking Here and Elsewhere

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy

The Department of Homeland Security defines human trafficking as "modern day slavery (that) involves the use of force, fraud or coercion to obtain some type of labor or commercial sex." It is considered to be the third-largest criminal activity in the world, behind drugs and arms trafficking, and is estimated to be a $32 billion industry. A panel of experts will discuss the scope of the problem and ways to address the issues and work towards solutions.

• Sunday
  Jaunary 22, 2017
  2:00 pm
• The Stevenson Center on Democracy
  25200 N St Mary's Rd
  Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
  847-816-7433
• $15
  No Charge for Students

Shouldn't Happen to a Dog

On the Internet, no one knows you're dodging the voters. Haha, according to the Daily Herald ...

The Mundelein village board on Monday voted to formally ask state lawmakers to amend the Illinois Animal Welfare Act and prohibit the inhumane treatment of dogs in commercial breeding facilities. The move comes less than two months after the board approved new rules for pet stores -- rules that weren't as strict as those sought by animal welfare activists and some trustees. Instead of forbidding the sale of dogs and cats from commercial breeders, the board in November decided Mundelein pet stores must obtain special village licenses and publicly display breeding information about the dogs and cats they sell.
Mundelein asks state to prohibit cruelty to dogs by commercial breeders

As readers of this blog are doggedly aware ...

A Shaggy Dog Story

... the Village of Mundelein had failed, last year, to pass an ordinance banning the sale of puppy-mill dogs.

The Mundelein Village board however was able to pass, this week, the buck back to Springfield. One source told your LakeCountyEye: "Let the State outlaw those dogs. Mundelein needs all the sales tax revenue it can get."

It is unknown if the the Mundelein village board also voted to formally ask state lawmakers to raise the Illinois DUI ceiling "up a couple notches".

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Just the Facts, Mr Roskam

Note to Ops: It doesn't matter how much fake news you put into circulation, you can never keep up. Haha, a good fake news story is a mix of assorted facts blended with some handpicked fiction.

For instance, everyone knows that Lake County vestigial Congressman Peter Roskam had a run-in with the House Office of Congressional Ethics. So it is not enough to report simply that ...

The office, which was formed in 2008, had initiated a probe in recent years into whether Roskam had improperly accepted a trip to Taiwan for his wife, Elizabeth, as a gift in 2011. Lester: Roskam won't say where he stood on ethics vote

You also need to ice the story with ...

The case was later dropped, and Roskam has denied any improper behavior. Lester: Roskam won't say where he stood on ethics vote

Roskam may have denied any wrongdoing, but the case had not been dropped by Office of Congressional Ethics. In fact, the OCE found there was substantial reason to believe that Roskam violated Federal law, and referred the case to the House Ethics Committee:

95. The government of Taiwan could not have paid for Representative Roskam's travel expenses under MECEA because Representative Roskam's spouse traveled with him on the trip to Taiwan. The Chinese Culture University could not have paid for Representative Roskam's travel expenses as a private sponsor of the trip because the University did not organize or conduct Representative Roskam's trip to Taiwan. 96. The Board therefore finds that there is substantial reason to believe that Representative Roskam accepted payment of travel expenses for an officially connected trip to Taiwan from an impermissible source, resulting in an impermissible gift, in violation of federal law and House rules. III. CONCLUSION 97. The OCE Board recommends that the Committee on Ethics further review the allegation, as there is substantial reason to believe that Representative Roskam accepted payment of travel expenses for an officially connected trip to Taiwan from an impermissible source, resulting in an impermissible gift, in violation of federal law and House rules.

Report on Rep. Peter Roskam


Report on Rep. Peter Roskam

Of course it is much easier just to say that Roskam's case was later dropped, than to explain that the case was sent to the House Ethics Committee for further review.

Which is why just about everyone is doing it these days. Fake news is much easier to produce than the real thing!

Ethical Questions

Peter Roskam, is in an ethical bind. The Daily Herald found out that Roskam is one of the Republican Congressmen who want to jettison the House Office of Congressional Ethics.

Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, had at least one run-in with the watchdog agency:

The office, which was formed in 2008, had initiated a probe in recent years into whether Roskam had improperly accepted a trip to Taiwan for his wife, Elizabeth, as a gift in 2011.
Lester: Roskam won't say where he stood on ethics vote

No surprise but, Peter Roskam is now playing them close to the vest:

Alex Warshawsky of Palatine says he was "insistent" in seeking an answer from U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam's office on where the congressman stood on declawing the House Office of Congressional Ethics, but aides would not tell him how Roskam voted. "Some pretended they didn't know what I was talking about. Others flat out didn't answer my questions," said Warshawsky, a constituent of Roskam's 6th Congressional District. I had a similar experience trying to get an answer in several conversations with Roskam staffers after Politico reported Roskam spoke to the Republican caucus in favoring of weakening the office.
Lester: Roskam won't say where he stood on ethics vote

One staffer advised your LakeCountyEye: "Don't waste your time trying to contact Mr Roskam. He's in ... uh ... Taiwan."

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Nothing to see here.

An Ethical Lapse

Will all the Republican Congressmen who voted to gut the Office of Congressional Ethics please step forward?

Not so slow there, Peter Roskam!

Haha, the first order of business at the new 115th Congress was to put their independent ethics watchdog to sleep -- and Congressman Peter Roskam was happy to oblige. Roskam is no fan of Congressional ethics oversight because, according to the Chicago Sun-Times, he ...

apparently still is pouting because the Office of Congressional Ethics looked into a trip that he and his wife took in 2011 to Taiwan. There were legitimate questions about who picked up the tab. The House Ethics Committee decided to let the matter drop, but at least the public was made aware of the issue. Under the new rules, the allegations would have been kept secret.
House GOP bawling like Old Chicago aldermen

Roskam is Lake County's vestigial Congressman. How will his desire to deep-six the Office of Congressional Ethics play with his constituents? Stay tuned!

UPDATE: The same Republican House Legislators agreed the next day to scrap the plan. This occurred after the transition team for President-Elect Trump issued a Tweet:

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Close Enough for Government Work

It has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that the next President of the United States will be Donald J Trump. Who knew? Well, your LakeCountyEye knew. And as far back as 2011.

It was more than 5 years ago that your LakeCountyEye predicted that Joe Walsh would be the next President of the United States:

Walsh may be a longshot to get the Republican presidential nomination. But he would be following a long line of GOP presidential trailblazers. Like Donald Trump.
Walsh for President!

Granted, former Lake County Congressman Joe Walsh is not Donald Trump. But who is Walsh other than a poor-man's Trump?

The similarities, in fact, are striking:

	Joe Walsh	Donald Trump
No Government Experience
White Guy
You're Fired!
"If Trump loses, I'm grabbing my musket."
Ex-Wives
Short Fingered Vulgarian
Twitter Storms
Expensive Hair
Foreclosures
Big Blowhard
Alt-Right of Attila the Hun
OMG

Like money in the bank. Your LakeCountyEye: predicting the future since no later than 2011!

Ebony & Ivory

As years go, 2016 was one for the history books. The #1 story had to be Santa Claus, whose lifeless body was found on a McHenry County street, dead from a prescription painkiller overdose. The McHenryCountyBlog broke the story:

CL Kiwanis Santa Run Misses Snow Storm

Your LakeCountyEye jacked the McHenryCountyBlog story and photos:

Santa Sleighed

And then the McHenryCountyBlog jacked the story back, off the LakeCountyEye:

An anonymous blogger writing Lake County Eye has a wonderful sense of humor. And, he's a reader of McHenry County Blog. Usually he makes fun of my mistakes, but this time he has reinterpreted three photos of the Crystal Lake Kiwanis' Santa Run.
Reinterpreting Santa Run Photos

Now just between you and your LakeCountyEye and the blogpost, that Cal Skinner at the McHenryCountyBlog is an incurable wisenheimer. Cal Skinner and your LakeCountyEye go way back many years, and he could tell you exactly who that "anonymous blogger" is. Here is an old photo of Skinner and your LakeCountyEye working the phones at a Channel 11 telethon for the Dan Walker legal defense fund:

Cal Skinner	Barney Baxter
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!

Note to Ops: If you are looking for a good chuckle, you could do worse than the McHenryCountyBlog!

The Sullivan Caucus

It is not for nothing that the Lake County Gazette is the most trusted source of fake news in Lake County. This week the Lake County Gazette published a story about Ed Sullivan's retirement from the Illinois General Assembly, but illustrated it with a photo of some chumbolone who is not Ed Sullivan:

The error was quickly corrected within a speedy 72 hour time span:

Sullivan formally resigns from Illinois House seat

An understandable faux pas given that Sullivan was a Lake County State Rep for only 14 years.

Note to Ops: Your LakeCountyEye did not recognize the not-Ed-Sullivan chumbolone either, and fed the image into the Google facial recognition API. The results were not totally unsurprising:

Dan Sullivan (U.S. Senator)

It appears that Alaska Senator Dan Sullivan and former State Rep Ed Sullivan share a lot in common, which would explain the Lake County Gazette's honest mistake:

	Alaska US Senator Dan Sullivan	Former Illinois State Rep Ed Sullivan
Last Name is Sullivan?
Middle Aged?
Caucasian?
US Senator?

The message intended by the Lake County Gazette is loud and clear: If you've seen one middle-aged white guy you've seen them all!

Hymn for a Sunday Evening

Haha, the Lake County Gazette -- Lake County's #1 fake news source -- got the fake news wrong. As readers of this blog are aware ...

All the News That's Counterfeit to Print

The Lake County Gazette published a story about State Rep Ed Sullivan's retirement from the General Assembly ...

Internet Archive

... but lead with a photo of some goomer, one who is not State Rep Ed Sullivan.

Since then, the Lake County Gazette changed the photo -- although still not recognizably of Ed Sullivan:

Sullivan formally resigns from Illinois House seat

Now it goes without saying that the fake news is mostly outsourced to unemployed hackers in Eastern Europe. And those same Uzbekistan hackers may not know who Ed Sullivan is, nor would be expected to recognize him on the street. But a good photo of Ed Sullivan is no farther away than a Google search:

Note to Operatives at the Lake County Gazette: Your fly is open. Please update your story with the provided photo of Ed Sullivan.

All the News That's Counterfeit to Print

There is a rumor circulating the webs regarding State Rep Ed Sullivan. According to the Lake County Gazette:

State Rep. Ed Sullivan (R-Mundelein) ended his 14-year career with the Illinois House of Representatives on Thursday. His formal resignation comes after he announced in August 2015 that he would not be seeking re-election for his seat.
Sullivan formally resigns from Illinois House seat

Readers are cautioned not to believe everything they read on the Internet. Sullivan is an occasional commenter on this blog. And your LakeCountyEye is exceedingly skeptical of the Lake County Gazette story about him:

Sullivan formally resigns from Illinois House seat

C'mon, everyone by now should know that the Lake County Gazette is a fake news site.

An Artificial Christmas

It has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that you cannot believe everything you read on the Internet. Unscrupled actors can and will pepper the web with ersatz news stories made to look like the real thing, and for nefarious purposes. Who knew?

Truth be told, the fake news phenomenon is without any doubt utterly out of control. Witness the Daily Herald with tips on how to distinguish facts from fabrications:

How to detect fake news, from the left and right

Which just goes to show you can fool some of the people all of the time.

Now, there is an old saying in Lake County:

You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.

And what that old saying means is that here on the LakeCountyEye everything you see is triple sourced, fact checked, and 100% completely accurate. You have your LakeCountyEye guarantee that no fake news shall ever be covertly disseminated by this blog. Take that to the bank!

And be sure to have a happy and safe 4th of July holiday weekend!

The World Class POTUS

Rule #1 among the purveyors of fake news is never make up a story that is too preposterous to believe. So it is with some trepidation that your LakeCountyEye reports that the Electoral College met on Monday and selected Donald J Trump to be the 45th President of the United States. Haha. Ever since Trump's implausible victory (albeit on a technicality) Internet news outlets have been scrambling to find a good catchy meme to reference the new president-elect.

To be sure, all the biggest past Presidents had their own iconic nicknames. Lincoln is the Great Emancipator. Washington the Father of His County. Reagan the Great Communicator. And George W Bush is Dubya. Someone as brand conscious as Donald J Trump would seem naked without a standout web handle to dangle from his mantle. So your LakeCountyEye released the webbots and they have delivered ten Internet memes suitable for framing Mr. Trump.

The 10 Most Huge Nicknames for President-Elect Donald Trump

The Great Bankruptor Trump Pirate Towers Trumped Up Pussy Galore White is the New Black The Father of His Ivanka Trump and Trumper Mein Trumpf The Short Fingered Vulgarian TrumpNuts™

Look for your LakeCountyEye Trumpeting the fake news near you.

A Shaggy Dog Story

It's a dog eat dog world when you can't even ask the Village of Mundelein to pass an ordinance banning the sale of puppy-mill dogs.  And the collective we at the Chicago Tribune were none to pleased:

... we're disappointed at the Mundelein Village Board. We're not outraged. We're not angry. Even miffed seems too strident. We simply wish they had shown more heart when civic courage was just what the moment offered them. In a larger civic universe that seems populated with colder self-dealing arrogance than we had thought, what Mundelein's mandarins did was not villainous as much as venal. It was the absence of meaningful values left clanging loudly in a vacuum. They could have banned the horrific trade in puppy mills from making a profit in their town.
Rutter: Mundelein had chance to lead on puppy mills, but didn't

... but they did not.

Dawn Abernathy, one Mundelein Trustee who does not support a ban, told the Tribune ...

"If you need to change this, you can make these little humane ordinances but they'll just go to the next town," Abernathy said.
Mundelein trustees decide against puppy mill ban, opt for disclosure

Two weeks later, Abernathy was back in the news:

A Mundelein village trustee said her election petition packet was taken from her car sometime this week. Dawn Abernathy said she plans to seek reelection to the Mundelein Village Board and has been gathering petition signatures. On Thursday morning, Abernathy wrote a Facebook post that said her packet of notarized petitions was no longer in her car. "Well it really is election season and this one is going to be bad," the post reads. "Someone has taken my petitions out of my car. Really?"
Mundelein trustee believes petition packet was stolen from her car

Sources told investigators that the dog ate Abernathy's petitions.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Fell from the Heavens

Rob Sherman, Illinois's best known atheist, died last week. Sherman was a front-line fighter against the encroachment of religion into secular government. And at a time when the Constitutional principle of the separation of religion and state is under unprecedented assault, Rob Sherman's voice will be missed.

Sherman died in a plane crash:

National Transportation Safety Board investigators say it could be into next week before they know what led to the deadly Friday night crash of a single-engine plane in a Marengo cornfield.
NTSB: Reports from Marengo plane crash could take time

One source told your LakeCountyEye that they will rule out an Act of God.

Rob Sherman, 1953 - 2016

Old School

Donald Trump may trail by 3 million votes, but won the electoral vote. This is possible because the US Constitution guarantees admission into the Electoral College to anyone who scores 50 or better on their SATs.

A low bar by any measure. So naturally your LakeCountyEye contacted Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Dean of the Electoral College School at the College of Lake County.

"Ya." chuckled Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The Electoral College looks like its been packed with dropouts from Trump University."

It does seem to be an historical anachronism.

"And it's not likely to go away any time soon." grimaced Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The Republican Party knows it can't get a white man in the White House without a shot in the arm from the Electoral College."

Is the Republic permanently saddled with its Electoral College?

"No, but it will take a Constitutional Amendment." opined Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "And that will require bi-partisan support. Are you familiar with donor states?"

Your LakeCountyEye was not.

"Every state gives tax dollars to the Federal Government and receives money back in the form of federal spending." explained Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Those that give more than they take are donor states. Illinois for instance."

What about states that take back more than they give?

"These are deadbeat states." deadpanned Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Now the best way to fix the Electoral College is to monetize it. A state will be given Electoral Votes based on a percentage of the number of net dollars that state donates to the Federal Government." Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi produced a chart:

Federal Taxes Paid vs Federal Spending Received ($millions)
State	Taxes Paid	Spending Received	Difference	Electoral Votes
California	289,627	242,023	47,604	48
New Jersey	86,112	58,617	27,495	27
New York	168,710	144,876	23,834	24
Illinois	99,776	80,778	18,998	19
Connecticut	40,314	30,774	9,540	10
Minnesota	40,578	31,067	9,511	10
Massachusetts	63,003	55,830	7,173	7
Nevada	20,135	14,089	6,046	6
Colorado	35,880	31,173	4,707	5
Washington	49,682	46,338	3,344	3
Wisconsin	36,961	33,749	3,212	3
New Hampshire	10,649	8,331	2,318	2
Michigan	66,326	64,787	1,539	2
Delaware	6,622	5,495	1,127	1
Oregon	23,583	22,792	791	1
Florida	135,146	134,544	602	1
Rhode Island	7,969	8,423	-454	0
Vermont	4,085	4,645	-560	-1
Wyoming	4,209	4,782	-573	-1
Nebraska	11,261	12,785	-1,524	-2
Utah	13,134	14,823	-1,689	-2
Texas	146,932	148,683	-1,751	-2
Idaho	7,728	9,598	-1,870	-2
Iowa	17,830	20,345	-2,515	-3
Montana	5,228	7,814	-2,586	-3
South Dakota	4,840	7,481	-2,641	-3
North Dakota	3,829	6,608	-2,779	-3
Kansas	17,434	20,492	-3,058	-3
Maine	7,728	11,365	-3,637	-4
Georgia	55,952	59,846	-3,894	-4
Hawaii	8,519	12,699	-4,180	-4
Indiana	38,081	42,347	-4,266	-4
Alaska	4,830	9,230	-4,400	-4
Arkansas	13,926	20,387	-6,461	-6
North Carolina	52,547	59,162	-6,615	-7
West Virginia	8,815	16,087	-7,272	-7
Ohio	70,304	77,881	-7,577	-8
Oklahoma	19,572	27,637	-8,065	-8
Arizona	35,988	44,639	-8,651	-9
South Carolina	22,711	32,044	-9,333	-9
New Mexico	9,891	20,604	-10,713	-11
Pennsylvania	87,940	99,503	-11,563	-12
Tennessee	35,872	48,288	-12,416	-12
Kentucky	22,003	34,653	-12,650	-13
Missouri	35,171	48,273	-13,102	-13
Mississippi	12,434	26,181	-13,747	-14
Alabama	24,675	42,061	-17,386	-17
Maryland	49,178	66,720	-17,542	-18
Louisiana	20,563	39,628	-19,065	-19
District of Columbia	6,735	37,859	-31,124	-31
Virginia	60,185	95,097	-34,912	-35

Source: Federal Taxes Paid vs. Federal Spending Received by State, 1981-2005

Monetize the Electoral College?

"The Government nets roughly $19 billion dollars from the State of Illinois." explained Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "So Illinois would get 19 electoral votes. California gets 48 votes. New York gets 24. Do you see where I am going?"

What about states that take more than they give?

"Deadbeat states will be allotted negative electoral votes." replied Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The Federal Government loses nearly $2 billion to the State of Texas. So Texas would get a minus 2 electoral votes."

Negative Electoral Votes?

"Absolutely." insisted Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "If Texas votes for a Donald Trump then Donald Trump loses 2 electoral votes. The math is simple."

Your LakeCountyEye was skeptical.

"The plan is designed for bi-partisan appeal." maintained Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The GOP does not want to eliminate the Electoral College.  But they do want to privatize the Federal Government -- and this plan privatizes the Electoral College. And at the same time Democrats will notice that the biggest donor states are all blue states. You can do the math."

Your LakeCountyEye heard enough. Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your Operatives not to forget to pay their taxes!"

Santa Sleighed

Per Capita, McHenry County can claim almost twice as many concealed carry licenses, when compared to Cook County:

• McHenry County: 10.23 per 1000
• Cook County: 5.70 per 1000

And so it should have been no surprise to learn that Santa Claus was gunned down last week, in broad daylight on a McHenry County street.

The grim news was first reported on the McHenryCountyBlog ...

CL Kiwanis Santa Run Misses Snow Storm

Your LakeCountyEye has obtained crime scene photos ...

Warning: Graphic Images
Some may find these pictures disturbing!

Santa, minutes before shots were fired.

911 Caller: Santa Down! Santa Down!

"Oh the Humanity!"

[h/t: McHenryCountyBlog]

Foreclose Enough for Government Work

Note to those Operatives living out of their vans: There is no danger that you will be evicted by Steven "the Foreclosure King" Mnuchin. That's because Donald Trump wants the Goldman Sachs banker Mnuchin to be his Treasury Secretary.

Former Lake County Congressman Joe Walsh however, was none too pleased:

As Politico warns, Goldman Sachs is "poised for return to power" in a Trump administration. Walsh duly tweeted, "Mr Trump, this is bullshit. Can you hire someone who doesn't work for Goldman Sachs? What about that swamp? Huh?"
Tea Party’s Joe Walsh Calls ‘Bullsh*t’ on Trump Decision to Hire Goldman Sachs Execs

This is the same Joe Walsh who was foreclosed upon and evicted in 2008:

Joe Walsh, the Winnetka Republican running against Democratic incumbent Melissa Bean in the 8th House District, used to own a condominium on the 1400 block of Sherman Avenue near downtown Evanston. The two-bedroom unit went into foreclosure in 2008 and Walsh was evicted last fall, Cook County circuit court records and real-estate reports indicate.
8th Dist. challenger lost condo to foreclosure

Note to Steven Mnuchin Operatives: This is the same Joe Walsh who is no stranger to Second Amendment Remedies:

Former Rep. Joe Walsh on Friday defended calling on Americans to grab their "musket" if Hillary Clinton is elected president, insisting it was not an incitement to armed revolution.
Ex-congressman: 'If Trump loses, I'm grabbing my musket'

Forewarned is forearmed!