Saturday, April 11, 2015

McHenry County Pop.

Did you ask Siri?Experts who track these things say voter turnout was down a whopping 110% during this municipal election. McHenry County gets a waiver, but only because their population is down as well. The McHenryCountyBlog says ...
Since finding out that the U.S. Census Bureau estimates that McHenry County's population has decreased 1,543 people since 2010, I've been keeping my eyes and ears open for other indicators.
Pessimism about McHenry County’s Future
For your LakeCountyEye's money, there is only one other indicator who matters: Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Dwindling Demographics at the College of Lake County.

"Ya, they're shrinking faster than Margaret Hamilton in the Wizard of Oz." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Here's your $64 question: Where is everyone in McHenry County going?"

Where indeed.

"Not Lake County." observed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Test scores haven't dropped here."

Did your LakeCountyEye hear correctly ... test scores?

"Absolutely." vouched Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "When a population from McHenry County enrolls in an education program of any sort, the standardized test scores go down. It's a well documented phenomenon."

Your LakeCountyEye did not know that.

"The one exception is Wisconsin." continued Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Wisconsin test scores skyrocket when McHenry County numbers migrate northward."

Was McHenry County going to the morgue?  Your LakeCountyEye pulled up a headline on the smartphone:
Man accidentally shoots himself at McHenry gun range, fire official says
"For sure McHenry County is armed to the dentures." chuckled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "And their maternity hospitals doubtless are lagging way behind their gunslingers. But that doesn't explain their vanishing population. The smart money says McHenry County is disappearing because of climate-change deniers."

Did your LakeCountyEye hear correctly ... climate-change deniers?

"Absolutely." avowed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "McHenry County public servants will deny that climate change is real. As a consequence, nothing is done about climate change -- so when a monster tornado cuts through McHenry County, people disappear."

People disappear?

"Have you ever seen the Wizard of Oz?" asked Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The same dynamic is at work with fracking. McHenry County public servants deny that hydraulic fracking is harmful. As a consequence, when the next monster earthquake hits McHenry County, people disappear."

Like in the Wizard of Oz?

"No flies on you today." chuckled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "There is a rival hypothesis which alleges that people aren't leaving McHenry County at all. Instead, a fringe-group there has gone completely off the grid. A cohort of survivalists have dropped out to pursue a pre-industrial lifestyle somewhere in uncharted central McHenry County."

Hard to imagine.  What could be a possible motive?

"To prepare for a zombie apocalypse, would be my guess." shrugged Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi.

Did your LakeCountyEye hear correctly ... zombie apocalypse?

"Absolutely." replied Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, nearly shouting. "When the zombie apocalypse happens it will begin in McHenry County."

In McHenry County? Your LakeCountyEye was all like Why?

"Brains of course." grimaced Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Zombies would want McHenry County brains."

Your LakeCountyEye was at a temporary loss for words.

Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi got close and whispered: "A zombie prefers McHenry County brains over all others -- very few of those have been used."

Your LakeCountyEye heard enough. Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your Operatives that I can get them a deal on virgin vacation real-estate in central McHenry County."

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