Saturday, March 12, 2011

Coming Soon:
Child-Proof Schools!

It's no secret that conservatives are winning the war they declared on the children. The median age of the GOP is now about 85 -- and these retirees show up at the polls every election to vote down school funding referenda. The Tea Party wants to blow up government because they don't like paying their property taxes, and most of these taxes go toward supporting the public schools. One way to blow up the schools is to demonize the teachers and bust their unions. Once the teaching profession becomes a minimum wage job, all the good talent will be lured away to the high-paying & long-term opportunities with employers like Taco Bell and Walmart. Parents will then be compelled to home-school their children, which doesn't cost the taxpayer anything. To quote Hannibal Smith: I love it when a plan comes together!

With the prospect of the schools being slowly bled to death -- or worse dismembered, parcel by parcel -- your LakeCountyEye would advise school administrators against divesting their assets & infrastructure to realize the quick buck and focus instead on those long-term strategies that will lock-in a healthy ROI for years to come.

Case in point, Fremont Elementary School. The Daily Herald has the blow by blow:
Fremont Elementary District 79 officials say they will sell 10 acres that will not be needed in the future. District 79 Communications Coordinator Margaret Van Duch said the undeveloped parcel at Route 83 and Ivanhoe Road will be sold through sealed bids to a potential developer. The district does not know when the bid process would begin. If no bids are received, a Realtor will be brought in to help sell the property, Van Duch said.
District 79 to sell "unneeded" parcel
But your LakeCountyEye asks, with 10 acres of prime, close-to-schools real-estate, why sell when you can turn that asset into a cash-cow money maker? There are a literal slew of development opportunities just waiting to transform your acreage into high-yield investment property, and a bigger slew of eager developers waiting to make it happen. Don't throw away taxpayer money by converting your land into unnecessary athletic fields and parking facilities. Instead, here are ten tried-and-true turn-key opportunities for improving that unused property into a developed asset, requiring little to no up-front investment from the principal stakeholders.

Ten Ways to Turn
Unused School Acreage
into Big $$$
  1. Liquor Store
  2. Nuclear Power Plant
  3. Tattoo Parlor
  4. Army Recruitment Post
  5. Safe-House, Witness Protection Program
  6. Medicinal Marijuana Farm
  7. The Lake County Casino
  8. Thomson Correctional Center for Gitmo Detainees,
    Minimum Security Annex
  9. Route 53 Extension
  10. Chuck E Cheese

And look for your LakeCountyEye's newest University of Phoenix Degree Program: Blogging for the Big Bux


Team America said...

"We are a non partisan blog covering politics in and around Lake County IL."

In case you've forgotten your blog's motto, BB, I like to remind you guys of it every now and again with posts like this one.

You might also want to point that out to LC Truth, IrishRocketGirl, Redtail and your other contributors.

My blog is clearly a Republican blog, but we don't apologize for it, because, hey, we admit it. You might want to give that philosophy some thought.

Anonymous said...

Yeah TA is right....maybe it is time the Eye just get the label of a "Progressive Blog".

Joe said...

Don't let the wingnut thought police get to you, Eye. Just because your opinions don't align with their narrow world view, you're labeled as "partisan" & "progressive?" Wow.

If they don't like your opinions, they can stop stalking your blog.

Barney Baxter said...

hi TA,

Your suggestions are always appreciated. I will pass them along at the next editorial meeting.