Monday, May 27, 2013

Please Do Not Pray for Rain

not before hell freezes overHaha, it is safe to come out of your storm shelters. As readers of this blog are erroneously aware ...
Gone With The Wind
this blog erroneously reported that the Lake County Emergency Management Agency website had been blown into Lake Michigan by a random monster tornado. Nothing can be further from the truth. While the website in question ...
Alert Lake County : Thunderstorm/Tornado
may still not be responding to anyone, your LakeCountyEye has been assured the cause is not weather related -- it was apparently taken down by Syrian Hackers.  That critical County emergency response website is expected to be up and running again within a month or two. In the meantime, your LakeCountyEye was told, operatives should pray that nothing bad happens.

An unrepentant skeptic, your LakeCountyEye decided to consult an expert for a second opinion. In this case the expert is Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Intercessory Meteorology at the College of Lake County.

Your LakeCountyEye wanted to know if it was true that the weather can be affected by prayer or good behavior. Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi chuckled,"Absolutely there is a connection between bad moral choices and weather events. It may be an idea that the blowhard bloggers are quick to mock, but people everywhere believe in it, and have done so for millennia.  The Bible is teeming with stories where God reciprocates bad behavior with bad weather. Sodom and Gomorrah, Noah's Flood, the Exodus from Egypt, to name a few. What we observe today are just these old stories retooled for the modern age."

Your LakeCountyEye was a tad confused: "If the recent surge in extreme weather is Divine retribution, who is doing the retributing?"

Casting a stage sigh like he was being forced to deal with some untutored boob, Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi said "Have you heard of Climate Change?  Although you may be calling it Global Warming."

Somewhat taken aback, your LakeCountyEye was all like: "Um, OK, the climate is changing because Global Warming is displeased with mankind. So, what are people doing to make Global Warming angry?"

Looking at your LakeCountyEye now as if he were looking at some poor soul off their rocker, Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi said "What they are doing is denying Global Warming.  That is the one thing that can push even the most genial deity over the edge -- deny that they exist."

Like a lightning bolt in the night, suddenly everything was clear.  Your LakeCountyEye asked if  Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi had some parting wisdom for the operatives.

"If you have any trips planned to McHenry County, cancel them."

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