Sunday, April 7, 2013

Q the Eye/04.07.13

Dear LakeCountyEye,

Thanks for reminding us that there is an election in Illinois on April 9, this Tuesday. I urgently need to know who will win.

Without your help, I don't know what I would've done last November. I need your help again -- please hurry, I have a deadline!

Not Nate Silver
Dear You Bet You're Not,

Ὥρος HōrosYour LakeCountyEye doesn't have the time to analyze every race, but will share a foolproof secret. In these off-year elections, the campaign with the heavy odor of desperation is the one likely to lose. And the #1 sure sign of campaign desperation is the 11th hour Robocall. You don't need to take it from your LakeCountyEye, it's been empirically demonstrated that your improvised, last-minute Robocall is guaranteed to lose you votes on election day.

It's not surprising that the strongest odor of desperation comes from the direction of Island Lake -- a community of friendly people® -- where the office of Mayor is up for grabs. Apparently an anonymous Robocall there got one Mayoral candidate hopping mad and he notified authorities. According to the Daily Herald, this Robocall ...
got the attention of Lake County State's Attorney Mike Nerheim. "We are looking into this," Nerheim told the Daily Herald in an email.
State’s attorney investigating robocall targeting Island Lake candidate
Note to ops: If you are the one behind that Robocall, make sure you wipe any DNA evidence off of the Robocall machine. Haha, j/k. You don't have anything to worry about -- this State's Attorney's Office has a track record of finding some undocumented resident or disadvantaged minority to charge. From a purely legal perspective however, it is not illegal to make Robocalls -- so your LakeCountyEye cannot rightly say what they will be charged with. Something or other that could be made to stick, no doubt, but your LakeCountyEye digresses.

It is unknown who or which side is behind those Island Lake Robocalls. The campaign that can't do any better than phone it in, as far as your LakeCountyEye sees it, is not likely to win.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ...

No comments: