Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Lightning Round

traffic nightmare Lake County values a traditional way of life, and when cherished traditions are threatened Lake County pushes back. For instance, one abiding tradition that sanctions how people of opposite orientation may conjoin is now in jeopardy thanks to a small group of government officials and special-interest lobbies with a radical agenda. These outside influences want to redefine that tradition in a way that permits people to conjoin from the same-direction. Your LakeCountyEye refers of course to the redesigning of Lake County's traditional traffic-signal intersections into traffic circle roundabouts.

The Lake County Division of Transportation is proceeding with plans, your LakeCountyEye has learned, to build a new traffic circle in Hawthorn Woods. Unsurprisingly, Lake County is none too pleased. According to the Daily Herald ...
When the first roundabout was proposed in Lake County, the response was extreme. "People were so skeptical, I would seriously get phone calls from people saying there would be deaths at that corner and it would be on my conscience," recalled Lake County Board Member Ann Maine, of Lincolnshire, who is also president of the Lake County Forest Preserve District.
Lake County considers first multilane roundabout
Just the mere mention of a traffic circle has the power to elicit strong emotions from the typical Lake County resident. To explain the phenomena, your LakeCountyEye consulted Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, professor of Ethno-Atavism Studies at the College of Lake County.

"You would be surprised how many people think traffic circles will hasten the end of civilization as we know it." Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi told your LakeCountyEye. "They fear the traffic circle will devalue traditional red-light traffic intersections, leading to many fender benders that otherwise would not have occurred."

Your LakeCountyEye pointed out that the County is mulling over a multi-lane roundabout in Hawthorn Woods. "Precisely." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "First there are single lane traffic circles. Then when drivers get used to these, they start to build the multi-lane traffic circles. Where does it all end?"

Upon hearing this, your LakeCountyEye produced a day-old copy of the Daily Herald:
Lead-footed drivers could be in luck after the Illinois Senate Tuesday approved legislation to raise the speed limit on tollways and interstates to 70 mph.
Illinois Senate: Raise speed limit to 70 mph
"Have you ever taken an ungraded three hundred and sixty degree curve at seventy miles per hour?", Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi wondered out loud.

One rhetorical question to ponder. Your LakeCountyEye asked Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi if he had any parting advice.

"Be sure to buckle up!"

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