Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Q the Eye/12.26.12

Dear LakeCountyEye,

All you care about is readers and making money off of him. He's a human! What you don't realize is that Aaron is making you all this money and all you do is write a bunch of crap about him. He hasn't held a private sector job in years. His stump speech is called "give me more" for a reason -- because all you people want is more, more, more, more, more! Leave him alone! You're lucky he even represents you bastards! Leave Aaron alone!


Not Aaron Schock
Dear Not Aaron Schock (if that's your real name),

Ὥρος HōrosOh boo hoo -- stiffen up and show some spine. Has the mean LakeCountyEye been poking fun at your expense? Well, no harm, no foul -- nobody reads these boutique political blogs. Alexa gives your LakeCountyEye a phone-number sized rank of 4,790,547. Even in dogyears that works out to a rank of 684,364 -- which puts your LakeCountyEye still behind even the malware-prone McHenryCountyBlog:

(For the record, this does explain why your LakeCountyEye is mean.)

If it's any consolation, at least you didn't make the mistake of one Lake County Republican -- who will go unnamed but is a namesake of yours as well as Aaron Spelling. This career politician was the butt of some LakeCountyEye humor after he was caught measuring the drapes in the office of previous County Board Chairman David Stolman. He responded immediately to the Daily Herald:
"It feels like my office," said Lawlor, 30, a Vernon Hills Republican. "I've always felt comfortable on the 10th floor, and I feel very comfortable in the office."
Chairman: Lake County Board 'best place to serve'
Being made fun of by the LakeCountyEye is one thing. But, haha, now even the Daily Herald recognizes a brazen careerist.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ...

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