Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Uncandid Candidates?

RosebudDespite the Democratic Primary being postponed to a new date, TBD, there was enough interest to hold a Republican Illinois Primary last week. Not surprisingly, lots of Republicans were nominated, and -- as some operatives tell it -- to both sides of the ballot. Haha, it seems the most frequent and worst accusation hurled was that the opposing candidate wasn't a real member of the Party. If true, the 2012 Primary saw a record number of Republicans running as Democrats and vice versa. It also happens to be the worst accusation because it was not very effective: most of these so-called turncoat candidates won the Primary.

In their defense, there is a long-honored tradition in Illinois of candidates appearing on the ballot for the opposing party. A LaRouche Party member was nominated by the Democrats in 1986 to be their Lieutenant Governor candidate. To win anywhere in Chicago, a Republican has to run as a Democrat -- take Rahm Emanuel, for instance. Lake County has a long history of Democrats serving on the County Board as Republicans -- or running as Democrats and serving as Sheriff or Circuit Court Clerk as a Republican. And the phenomenon is not exclusive to Illinois -- Massachusetts liberal Mitt Romney is on the cusp of cinching the GOP nomination for President.

Interestingly, these stealth candidates do tend to outperform their more orthodox opponents at the polls. Your LakeCountyEye estimates that the majority of Illinois's elected officials are card carrying members of the other party. Anyone not shy about being caught tacking in the direction of the political winds probably already has a leg up on the opposition. Despite this track-record of electoral success, operatives -- a naturally suspicious bunch -- are reluctant to embrace a party-jumping candidate who happens to be nobody that nobody sent. And who's to blame them? As a service, your LakeCountyEye has identified ten telltale tells that a Democratic candidate may not have the ideological fire-in-the-belly of a Dennis Kucinich.

10 Indications that a Democrat on Your Ballot
May Actually be a Republican
  1. Wears a sweatervest.
  2. Prefers to call ObamaCare ObamaCare.
  3. Pays fewer taxes than Warren Buffet's dog.
  4. Thinks global warming is caused by all the holes in the Mexican border.
  5. Favors filling the Social Security trust-fund lockbox with spot gold contracts.
  6. Has formally declared war on women.
  7. Pet proposal for streamlining government: Edible Foodstamps
  8. Confessed that some of the nicest people to be met are corporations.
  9. Raps professionally under the stagename: 1% Milk
  10. God
    Nuff said!

Look for your LakeCountyEye on your ballot ... posing as a write-in candidate.

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